I’M SO UPSET. I JUST GOT DUMPED AT A STUPID HOUSE PARTY. ALL I WANT TO DO IS GO HOME AND DEVOUR A BUCKET OF ICE CREAM. BUT WHY WON’T MY CAR START? OH, BECAUSE IT’S YOUR CAR AND I DON’T DRIVE–WAIT, WHY DON’T YOU LOCK YOUR CAR DOORS, WEIRDO? ALSO, PLEASE TAKE PITY ON ME AND DRIVE ME HOME WHILE I SOB INCOHERENTLY NEXT TO YOU.











