Apr 18, 2025
Ohh... motherly enacoral... theyre so my parents...
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Ohh... motherly enacoral... theyre so my parents...
Crop under cut ♡
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had good night's sleep. had a very weird and stressful morning. trying to have a calmer afternoon.
Thinking about... them
My fathers impressions of cards while looking through my tarot deck:
The Sun - “That looks like that peeing statue in Belgium. Cute.”
Ten of Cups - “Fulfillment?”
Page of Cups - “Only a little bit of fulfillment. Actually, he looks like a buffoon.”
Eight of Wands - “Do those things have eyes?”
Eight of Cups - “Where’s he going?”
The Moon - “I feel bad for her. She looks sad.”
Christian Counselor & Coming out in person Pt.1
My 1st face-to-face coming out was with my 1st counselor, whom my parents sent me to specifically, because they thought I was ‘gay & wanted to be a boy’.
Reality: I was horribly depressed, which they definitely knew?
After finding this out and why they sent me to this specific person (aka christian counselor), I told christian counselor about it and just kinda came out as the queer trans guy that I am
Well, jokes on my parents, because that counselor was very supportive when I came out
Unfortunately I didn’t feel 100% comfortable with christian counselor in general and because of the situation & reasons my parents were so adamant for me to see them
I still saw them a while after I determined this, mostly because of anxiety, until I missed an appt. and just never went back…
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A convo that actually happened...
Me: I know what show I want to see next My mom: Come... Me: COME FROM AWAY. Mom: Who’s in that? Me: Jenn!! Mom: WHO? Me: SHE WAS IN IF/THEN!! Mom: What part did she play? Me: She’s the blonde girl, she played Kate’s girlfriend... Mom: Who’s Kate? Me: I GIVE UP....
so i made it back to my parent's house for summer and immediately was hit with some bullshit... because of course
my mom and i were in the car and the conversation of her feeling as though i am a lot more carefree at school came to fruition (because of what i post on instagram and the few times they visit for brief intervals). i was like "yeah, y'know i don't really like the person i become when i am back from college. i feel like my 16 year old self and not in a good way."
and of course she responded back, nonchalantly while staring ahead at the road, "yeah your dad and i don't like that version of yourself. i'd much rather be around your current self"
which... ouch! cuz like, that's the only version of me my parents really know lmfao. i kinda get her point, but i don't think she knows that being in their house and being around them brings out a very angry, upset, juvenile version of myself that i'd like to think i've worked on healing.
i don't hate 16 year old me. he was very angry for both good and bad reasons. i just don't like seeing his mom and dad admit that they don't like him. i am him, just a little more grown up. he doesn't deserve to be spoken about like that.