#parenthesis masterlist

all realms of where (and when beyond) (ao3) - Ellory G, 1k

Summary: High Lord Salazar Slytherin, Prince of The Void, issues invitations to High Lord Godric Gryffindor, High Lady Helga Hufflepuff, and High Lady Rowena Ravenclaw to discuss a new venture.

Anything You Can Do (I Can Do Better) (ao3) - TajaReyul Alicia/Charlie E, 23k

Summary: “I can do anything better than you.” Alicia and Angelina are very competitive. So is Charlie.

Barkeep (Your Secrets) (ao3) - DisorganizedKitten T, 4k

Summary: Albus wasn’t the only Dumbledore with ambition, just the only one who needed public support to thrive. Aberforth? He was the one who actually got things done.

part one

and i’d give up forever (to touch you) (ao3) - wearealldoomed

Summary: “What?” Dan mouths, head tilted to the side in bemusement, concern creeping up into his eyebrows.

Phil shakes his head, a shy smile on his lips as he tries to revert his attention back to the person in front of them. His hand twitches with a longing just to hold Dan’s, their fingers intertwined, keeping him close. It was only 11 days ago when Dan laced his hand with Phil’s for the first time but it had already found its place there, slotted together like the last two pieces of a puzzle, or magnets being drawn together after being apart for so long.

Bending over and spreading (a good book) wide (ao3) - skygremlin

Summary: Phil doesn’t really want to spend his Friday night reading a book, but Dan’s having too much fun with the joke after he attempted a monetization-friendly spin on “bending over and spreading wide” while playing InQueeries.

bob the builder (dans version) (ao3) - alooalex

Summary: can she fix it? no!

break me, shake me, devastate me (come here, baby) (ao3) - jonsaremembers

Summary: "What kind of more?" Phil searches his face. Dan wishes he had something there for Phil to find, but he can only shake his head. He doesn't know how to articulate what he wants.

breakfast (florida edition) (ao3) - blossomsphan

Summary: dan orders "grains and fresh fruit".

Duneussy (and other ways to say I love you) (ao3) - Lesbianphan

Summary: Dan's thoughts after his 33rd birthday livestream on DanandPhilGAMES, featuring the Dune bucket

don't tell me what to do (i'll love you forever if i want to) (ao3) - jonsaremembers

Summary: They have a fight. Dan pushes Phil away.

Forever is a terrifying concept (even about chocolate) (ao3) - skygremlin

Summary: "Some hot cocoa would sure hit the spot right now."

It's just a line in a video game, but yeah, hot cocoa would be really nice right about now.

Unfortunately, Phil can't have chocolate anymore, and it really sucks.

goddess on stage (human when we're alone) (ao3) - jonsaremembers

Summary: "You're very unfair on stage sometimes, you know that? Flirting with me, showing me your ass, calling me Daddy -"

"It's for the show," she protests.

"It's not." He flicks her nipple.

good to be alive (crying into cereal at midnight) (ao3) - jonsaremembers

Summary: Phil contemplates sleeping alone.

here comes the heat (before we meet) (ao3) - possumdnp

Summary: Three weeks is way too long to go without seeing each other and touching each other.

(Set during Dan’s February 2010 trip up north to see Phil after coming home from India.)

How Dan (Almost) Stole Christmas (ao3) - skygremlin

Summary: For thirty-three years Dan’s lived up in the hill districts outside Who-ville, watching the wealthy elites celebrate their Christmases in the valley with glitter and food and an unfathomable amount of expensive gifts while the rest of the world was left cold and hungry, completely ignored. Between the off-key choir concerts and the way he could feel the icy wind through his uninsulated walls on Crumpit Lane, he had enough of it. It’s time for Who-ville to see what Christmas is like for everyone else, even if that means taking it by force.

A How the Grinch Stole Christmas AU

i know (you love me for it) (ao3) - blossomsphan

Summary: Phil knows how to help them relax.

Love is You (conflict, conflict, conflict) (ao3) - euphor7a

Summary: She likes the word transfem. It sits in her chest, just above her ribs, like she grew it in her lungs. It describes her - trans(gender, cendent) and feminine.

A small exploration of something blooming in the forever home lounge.

(make me) your fantasy (ao3) - blossomsphan

Summary: "Oh," Phil mocked as he pulled Dan's hand out of his hair, letting his arm flop back limply on the mattress. Dan was all freckles and flushed pink skin, responsive and lovely and warm and pliant and his, and Phil had admired him enough— he wanted to see him wrecked.

(Phil wants to take pictures.)

One single thread of gold (tied me to you) (ao3) - Lesbianphan

Summary: Just a cute little fluffy one to celebrate the 15 years of Dan and Phil the best way I know how: through RPFing, of course!

(Phil) Michael (Lester) In The Bathroom (ao3) - cheese_sandwich30

Summary: After a fight with Dan during a VidCon party, Phil hides in the bathroom

please don't doubt (I will get this and I love you) (ao3) - jonsaremembers

Summary: They talk about marriage, and then they lapse into teasing. It's an old familiar pattern.

somewhere in the crowd (there's you) (ao3) - possumdnp

Summary: Far away from home on his "We're All Doomed!" tour, Dan can't stop thinking about how much he misses Phil.

(A WAD-era fic inspired by "Super Trouper" by ABBA)

switch it up (don’t stop) (ao3) - blossomsphan

Summary: post workout activities wink wink

wasted hours (before we knew) (ao3) - fastforwardty

Summary: “So this is the way the world ends,” Dan mumbled into Phil’s chest. “Fucking scorching.”

“I guess that’s my fault,” Phil smirked.

“Oh shut up,” Dan lifted his head from Phil’s chest and gave him that same silly I-can’t-be-mad-at-you grin they both missed more than they ever realized, pushing on his chest.

They needed this. Needed the laughter and the smiles and what was left of the good that had been left behind.

Wasteland, Baby (I'm in love with you) (ao3) - skygremlin

Summary: The end of the world is slow and quiet. There are no explosions, no riots, just the gradual buildup of floods and fires and earthquakes until the earth can’t take it anymore.

Dan doesn’t believe in the politicians and their ideas of “normalcy,” but he absolutely believes in Phil and would follow him through hell and back. Phil wants to believe in hope and fate, but what matters most is that through it all he still has Dan.

we'll be just fine (i know that we will) (ao3) - fastforwardty

Summary: Phil wants to buy a house, but he wants Dan to be happy more.

you flinch when you lie (and i notice every time) (ao3) - boxcar182

Absolutely Smitten (I’ll Never Let You Go) - manchestereyes

Summary: In which Dan is a much-adored primary school music teacher, and Phil is just the science teacher who can’t keep his mind off of him. But when the students notice and try to get in on the action, will Phil finally work up the courage to ask Dan out?

As Fate (or a really weird guy named David) Would Have It (ao3) - husbants

Summary: Phil has been stood up. Just as he’s leaving, a frantic (and absolutely handsome) guy rushes in the restaurant, looking for his own first date.

Maybe tonight won’t be as bad as it once seemed it would.

before we turn into a monster (with two heads) (ao3) - blueshirt

Summary: “Once this case is over, I’m getting a new job. Maybe one where I just sit in my bedroom and make videos about my life. That would be nice,” Dan muses dreamily to himself—or rather, mumbles indistinctly to himself, because it’s a little hard to articulate when you’ve been shoved into the trunk of a moving car, bound, and gagged.

Or, the 30K Secret Agents AU that nobody asked for, featuring an undercover mission as husbands, annoying coworkers with a betting pool (Dan is going to complain to HR about Felix), and inevitable slow-dancing to Ed Sheeran.

dancing on the blades (you set my heart on fire) (ao3) - kishere

Summary: Dan Howell is an ice skater in England, a non power player in the world of competitive ice skating. Phil Lester is the greatest ice skater to come out of England in the past decade, part of a family legacy. When Dan is offered a spot at Phil’s family gym, he learns what he was missing the most to be the best ice skater he could be.

Or: the yuri on ice inspired au

First Impressions (Perhaps I Was Wrong) (ao3) - Ablissa

Summary:

Phil Lester goes back to university for his third year, expecting to live in the dorms with his childhood best friend PJ. That’s how it’s been for the past years, after all. However, due to a mistake of some sort, he finds himself with a new roommate to spend the semester with. Daniel Howell, three years his junior, has rich brown eyes, a laptop to hide them behind, and not more than two words to spare in Phil’s direction. Phil is no fortune teller, but he foresees the upcoming months will be filled with a whole lot of awkward silence.

Unless, of course, Dan proves him wrong… Could one little mistake lead to something entirely life-changing? Perhaps it could. After all, nearly everything changes when Phil meets Dan.

First to Listen (To Anything I Said) (ao3) - SylvesterLester

Summary: It’s 2004, and Dan Howell is screwing up in school. He can’t help that he’s stuck in boring classes with boring people and just doesn’t care. So when Phil Lester, one of the geekiest kids in school, is assigned to be his tutor, he’s expecting this to just be another crappy part of his already crappy life.

But when it turns out Phil might be Dan’s first real friend, his hormones threaten to screw all that up. Because that’s all it is, right? Hormones?

for the first time in such a long time (I know I’ll be okay) (ao3) - possumdnp

Summary: Three conversations in Phil’s bedroom in 2009.

Fuck The Past (Dan vs Phil vs Daniel) (ao3) - phandomsub

Summary: Daniel and Phil decide to mess around with a book of spells for their new video. It’s all just a good laugh, until they somehow end up transporting 18-year-old Dan from 2009 into 2017. The only logical solution is: threesome.

He Keeps On Dropping Hints (so i won’t be the only one that’s going down for this) (ao3) - cafephan

Summary: Dan has discovered that solo tour life can be lonely in more ways than one. One particularly restless night, he aims to satiate himself - though Phil seems determined to make it as difficult as possible.

I Don’t Know Anyone Else (Who Can Make Me Feel This Way) (ao3) - rainbowchristy

Summary: It started as a simple video idea. Little did Phil know, it’d lead to the missing piece in his life. A piece by the name of Dan.

Or: Phil tries cooking and his pregnant neighbour comes by to ask for some of whatever smells so good. Several times.

I’ll follow you into the dark (or at least off this zip-line) (ao3) - nivi_chip

Summary: basically Dan’s stuck on a zip line, and well, you can read the rest :)

(not a) boyfriend hoodie (ao3) - dizzy

Summary: Phil really likes cuddling up in Dan’s new hoodie.

Which would be fine, if it were actually Dan’s hoodie.

oh, i’m trying (not to give in to you) (ao3) - Buttercups

Summary: dan is greg’s little brother. greg is phil’s best friend.

phil discovers what craving someone actually means

Our Wildest Dreams Came True (Not One of Them Involving You) (ao3) - roryonice

Summary: Based on Misery Business by Paramore. Dan has a crush on Phil and always flirts with him at parties, and Phil hooks up with someone else to make Dan jealous.

Pretty Odd (Things Have Changed For Me and That’s Okay) (ao3) - Cadensaurus (orphan_account)

Summary: Baby!fic in which one day, Phil wakes up with a baby in his bedroom and finds out that apparently he and Dan are the only ones who don’t know where this baby came from, as everybody else claims that it’s Phil’s. What happens next is they then end up raising a baby together, with no less than a few existential crises from both of them along the way, as well as plenty of blunders and mishaps. Oh, and through it all, Phil starts falling for Dan but doesn’t dare tell him because he can’t risk losing his best friend.

Send My Love (To Your New Lover) (ao3) - phantasticworks

Summary: Dan has some jealousy issues to deal with when he finds out Phil has had a run-in with someone from his past.

so tell me i’m a rainbow (it makes me feel alright)(ao3) - natigail

Summary: Dan wanted to go to London Pride this year, but doubt and anxiety creeps up on him and he can’t make himself go. It’s okay.

The city is so loud (but you drown out all the noise) (ao3) - natigail

Summary: Phil’s pack might have kicked him out for mating with a human, but his love for Dan was much stronger than anything he’d ever experienced before. It wasn’t easy to adjust to living with Dan in his - now their - small flat in London, but Phil would do it again in a heartbeat. With Dan by his side, Phil was sure he could get used to all the weird things humans did.

they don’t know (about us) (ao3) - calvinahobbes

Summary: Dan and Phil in Jamaica, July 2010.

Tried To Do Headstands For You (Every Time I Fell On You) (ao3) - popsongnation

part one

And you knew what it was (he’s in love) (ao3) - orphan_account michael/calum M, 2k

Summary: His breathing matched with the rise and fall of Calum’s stomach, like the two were permanently in sync. Michael thought they probably were, he thought that if soul mates were real, Calum would be his.

But Do You Feel Like A Young God (You Should Fuck Me Tonight) (ao3) - Migs OT4 E, 8k

Summary: Luke gets caught and the boys make his fantasy come true.

Can I Go Where You Go? (Can We Always Be This Close Forever and Ever?) (ao3) - Anonymous Luke/Calum T, 1k

Summary: Whatever Luke’s opinions are, are one-hundred percent okay to have. “What if they don’t like me?”

Calum frowns, running his fingers through Luke’s curls. “Darling, pride parades are about self-acceptance and love. Hell, that’s why Pride month became a thing in the first place.” He hugs Luke back, tighter than his boyfriend had. “Besides, people attend parades to love themselves unapol ogetically, not to garner approval from anybody else, per se.”

(Or where it’s Luke’s first pride, and Calum is determined to make it the best.)

can we stay all day? (lay low in our lazy luxury) (ao3) - orphan_account luke/calum N/R, 2k

Summary: Calum’s body is moving softly with the pattern of his breathing, the mop of curly brown hair illuminated by the light. It used to bother Luke just how smitten he is for the boy, but he’s come to terms with it, so he lets himself smile at the view.

c'mon baby, calm me down (you're the only one who knows how) (ao3) - lukehoodings Luke/Calum E, 10k

Summary: Now he waits. He’s back to being nervous, and he’s running out of fingernails to chew. He stares at his hands. His knuckles are a little bruised. The edges of his nails are rimmed with a mixture of dried and fresh blood. He wipes them on his pants. Spits into his fingers, rubs at the worst of it. He doesn’t want Luke to see.

He smokes too much. Drinks too much. He bites. He bleeds. Sometimes he hits. Sometimes he wants to disappear and sometimes he wants someone to stop him from doing it. Bad habits, all of them. Would Luke be one too? Or is he worse? Not a habit. Not even a vice. Something deeper. Scarier. Maybe he’s an addiction. Top of the list. Beating caffeine. Beating weed. Beating pain.

Everything online isnt true (but this time it is) (ao3) - notgonnamessthisup Michael/Ashton, OT4 N/R, 3k

Summary: “What you wanna talk about?” Ashton sat up from his bed, patting beside him to get Michael to sit. “I read an article about you” He began carefully. Ashton quirked an eyebrow, since when does Michael read articles? “Okay it was a thread on Reddit” The redhead admitted. “Dude I fucking hate Reddit ” Ashton let out a nervous laugh. “How many times have we talked about this, just because it’s online doesn’t mean it’s true” He smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes, just like in the pictures and it made Michael feel uneasy. “I think it might be true this time though” He whispered.

or

Ashton has somehow managed to keep a big secret from his bandmates for a long time, (un)fortunately for him secrets have a tendency to come to light. Thanks to a chronically online redhead that is

i can be good (make you proud) (ao3) - FINEHEMMINGS ot4 M, 3k

Summary: luke is ashton’s submissive who only wanted to make his dom proud, but the plan completely fails.

if these walls could talk (they’ve seen way too many things) (ao3) - softirwin Luke/Ashton, Michael/Calum T, 26k

Summary: luke gets stuck at ashton’s during lockdown

i’m better than him (just saying) - @badgerinbloom (badgerinbloom) michael/luke T, 3k

Summary: Luke’s boyfriend is a total loser, and all of his friends keep telling him. Especially Michael, who’s been in love with Luke for as long as he can remember. Michael’s always there for Luke whenever his boyfriend treats him like garbage. But after a disastrous date, everything goes downhill, and Luke realizes that maybe Michael has been right this whole time.

I’m Sorry For Breaking Your Heart It Clearly Doesn’t Tear You Appart Anymore (I Was Running Back To You) (ao3) - Migs Michael/Calum, Michael/Luke M, 1k

Summary: Michael and Calum are getting married. Luke shows up.

It's A Very Special Feeling (The Kind That You Didn't Even Know You Need) (ao3) - fourdrunksluts Michael/Ashton E, 3k

Summary: It’s not often that Michael brings out his kitten props, but when he does it’s with no announcement and an entrance that leaves Ashton weak in the knees and hard in the dick. This kitten play kink came to fruition only a few months ago, Michael admitting that maybe the fans were onto something when they called him soft and sweet. That maybe they saw something even the most observant of boyfriends couldn’t pick up. Ashton took the news in stride, and since then, the ears have made an occasional, very welcome appearance.

i want to teach you a lesson (in the worst kind of way) (ao3) - softirwin Michael/Calum, Luke/Ashton T, 5k

Summary: “Who’s that, sir?” Lily asks, jabbing at the window.

“The new PE teacher,” Michael says.

“He’s cute,” Sarah says, and a couple of the girls nod vigorously.

“He’s also twice your age,” Michael says. “Go on, off to your practice rooms.” The girls groan, but one by one pull themselves away from the window and start to wander off. Michael stays by the window, one eye on the girls to make sure they actually go where they’re supposed to and one eye on the new PE teacher, who’s dividing the class up into groups and handing out footballs. He is kind of hot, Michael supposes, if you’re into muscular guys who are clearly good at sports. Which Michael most definitely is.

Mamihlapinatapei (My Brothers Best Friend)(ao3) - flowercrownmikey michael/luke T, 46k

Summary: Luke is reckless and sweet, and falls head over heels in love with his brothers best friend.

My Kingdom For Your Graces (And You Can Worship Me Too) (ao3) - Migs Luke/Ashton E, 3k

Summary: It’s Valentine’s Day and Businessman Ashton treats his Uni student boyfriend Luke to nice dinner whilst Luke has a surprise for Ashton waiting back at home.

Or: Valentine’s Day Smut

oh nostalgia (be your own spotlight) (ao3) - nightskeletons Calum/Ashton, Michael/Luke E, 142k

Summary: Born and raised New Yorker Calum Hood is temporarily reassigned to a job site in the middle of nowhere New Jersey for six months. After accepting his fate of being miserable the entire time, he ends up meeting a group of three boys who quickly become some of his closet friends and help him to see all the things he’s been missing by never leaving his own backyard.

Cue a playlist of early-2000s emo music, unexpected farm animals, summer nights under the stars, discovering who you are, falling in love, and a whole lotta nostalgia.

on again, off again. (love you like oxygen) (ao3) - xelated luke/ashton, michael/calum T, 8k

Summary: Ashtons senior year was anything but smooth sailing.

too young, too dumb (to know things like love) (ao3) - angorwat Calum/Ashton, Niall/Harry, Michael/Crystal, Sierra/Luke T, 8k

Summary: Calum and Ashton are perfect even as they’re falling apart.

(un)predictable. (ao3) - badomensbaby Luke/Calum E, 6k

Summary: Michael gives Calum a quick glare. “But no, I don’t think I’ll ever consider pegging. Nothing could change my mind.” “It’s fun.” Luke says casually. Record scratch. What? Luke’s eyes go wide, like ocean colored little saucers under the dim bar lights. Tips of his ears are stark red, mouth open like a fish out of water before his lips snap shut. “Um. I-I didn’t mean to say that.”

we could work it all out (tell me where it hurts most) (ao3) - jbhmalum OT4 T, 11k

Summary: 3 times Michael takes care of his boyfriends when they need it and 1 time they take care of him.

What I (don’t) like about you (ao3) - truly_madly_deeply Michael/Luke, Calum/Ashton E, 70k

Summary: Michael hates Luke, Luke hates Michael. When Luke’s older brother Ashton starts dating Michael’s best friend Calum out of all people, the two arch enemies are suddenly forced to spend way too much time together. Which they don’t like at all, but hey, shit happens, and so does love.