Feb 21
B.I.N.G.O is gonna be branded in my mind,-
Baby shark lives rent free btw
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B.I.N.G.O is gonna be branded in my mind,-
Baby shark lives rent free btw
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Father daughter moment when your kids dead and although a part of you feels her spirit around you canāt get yourself to admit it so you pretend hers, and all the other deaths, didnāt happen and instead become deeply afraid of the animatronic she possessesš
Well, today I gave my 1st grader permission to tell the other little boy bullying him "you're an asshole" if he wants.
Of course when he's told his teachers about this kid, they pull the "I didn't see/hear it" nonsense. I told him I always got that response too.
I also told him he'd be overheard in class, but not at recess. Momma was bullied a ton too, I know how shit works.
Yes, I did tell him he'd get in trouble for it at school, but he will not get in trouble at home.
For everyone whose holiday isnāt going the way they planned, or is sad today for reasons they can or canāt pinpoint, may I offer you a warm baby clad in fleece with a soft little head and a chubby little cheek.
Weāre just hunkering down at home over here getting to know each other. My momās been bringing meals, my sisters have been in and out cheering us up and helping with errands. Last night we watched Love Actually on TV from the Mr Bean scene forward and back around to the beginning, just the 3 of us. Well, Decembaby didnāt really watch.
If I feel one thing about parenting itās that Iāve never felt so totally up to a task and so inadequate at the same time. In an instant I can go from āI donāt know what she needs, I suck,ā to āweāre doing it, best thatās ever been.ā This experience was cemented in the hospital when she screamed at me for fully 20 minutes as I put her in her car seat to go home, only to get full nurse approval of my baby installation on the first try. (I guess practicing with her Baby Yoda Build-a-Bear really paid off!)
Sheās perfect and we love her so much.
Now Iām going to set her down to snooze, make a big breakfast with COFFEE and put on the Peanuts Xmas special.
Me: *Walks out of my room to eat.*
My Dad: *Watches me go into kitchen*
Me: *Pets cat bc she meowed at me*
My Dad: *Hits me with towel for no reason*
Me: *Stares at him offended*
My Dad: *hits me with oven mit* "Get that hateful ass look off your face."
Me: *Goes into my room instead of eating*
My Dad: "Why doesn't she want to spend time with us? So ungrateful."
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There's something so crushing about when you find something that you want to show someone, so you get their attention,
And you know this thing is exciting or funny or happy or relatable
And their only response to this thing you've excitedly shown them is some form of
"you stopped me from (reading, texting, talking), to show me that?"
Like, yes! I did! I want you to feel the joy or the laughter that I do!
But now you are criticizing me for showing excitement about a thing, I will add you to the list of people not to show things. Thanks.
my parents act so mystified why i donāt include them in conversations about therapy/recovery etc. unless necessary but still canāt even SAY the wordĀ ātherapyā when talking about my younger siblingās mental healthcare and insist on sayingĀ ādoctorās appointmentā or some other weird euphemism or justĀ ā(misgendered pronoun) is going to see (insert therapistās name)ā
like do they think if they say the word three times our collective mental health issues will be summoned?? i mean i donāt always divulge that iām going to therapy (though i have become much more open about it), but thatās something everyone makes a personal choice about. i donāt always need to get into my mental health history w/ every random acquaintance
but to have people in your life-- especially your parents/immediate family-- who refuse to name therapy, which has been quite literally life-saving for my sibling and i, who act as if itās a dirty word or a secret? if i hadnāt worked on myself and my health so much the past year or so, that dismissal would really hurt. now, it just frustrates me that my sibling is stuck in an environment where they canāt even NAME what they are dealing with without being dismissedĀ
Progress
We were about to leave and I saw that Max had on sandals and it was 50 degrees outside so I told them they had to wear socks & shoes. They opened their mouth to protest and then instead, they just turned around and put on shoes. I feel like such a parent. That's right teenager. Don't argue, just wear shoes.