#panchal

Krishnaa was loved, that she knew.

It was the deep laugh of her father, his affectionate pats on her head. It was her mother’s teary eyes that fell on her, the longing in the queen’s eyes to see her as an infant.

It was her siblings’ unspoken acts, somehow always ensuring she had everything she needed.

Love was what she felt most deeply.

It was her husbands’ lovelorn looks. The archer’s copper eyes forever enchanted, it was the way she was respected as the queen- and the goddess of their house.

A goddess and a mother, so full of love.

It was her children, the subjects of her queendom, it was every person-old and young-who never slept hungry in her watch.

Krishnaa was loved, that she knew.

But, then why were her cries for help unanswered?

“Protect dharma and it shall protect you,” that she did but wasn’t she loved? Wasn’t she loved? Why did no one stand up? Why did no one-?

And now she doesn’t believe that.

But you’re Krishnaa, the fire of the preserver incarnate. You’re fire’s daughter, aren’t you? So burn your culprits, burn the dice hall— why do you stay gentle even in a crisis like this? Agnijaa, PavakaPutri, so many epithets circling back to fire who sired you. Who are you? The dusky empress remains silent. Who are you? Shachi, the queen of heaven.

“Protect dharma and it shall protect you.”

“What is dharma?”

“Krishna.”

“Krishnaa?”

“Krishna.”

Love is what that grounds people. Love is what she has always felt so deeply.

So when she bled in that court, her heart heavy with rage and sorrow-

“Have mercy on them, Kalyani.”

She loved them. She loved her family, the people of her queendom. And she loved her husbands, deeply.

“Give them a chance to repent.”

That she did.

Maybe that is why she was loved by Shri and Hari both.

—————

This needs to be edited so heavily. So at first I wanted to do something else (you can notice by how the format suddenly changed) and it turned into something else entirely.

For someone who had both Shri and Hari as her close confidants, she had to be so full of love and mercy. Something rarely discussed as an aspect of her persona, I believe.

Virat and Drupad

'omg they had matching horses!' -Kabi Sanjay, probably

Also some of my recommendations: ArDi, arjunxoc, retellings, re-imagined!

1. Hello Mahabharata - a time travel fic but very, very, real to read! It touches everything and still makes it something very dreamy like. As if you’re living the protagonist’s life.

2. Never Without You - a retelling sort, very tender. I love the portrayal of both Arjun and Draupadi there, with all the emotions and their feelings, very much a young couple in love for the first time!

3. The Descent, it’s sequel- Flouting Our Destiny - All the ‘what if’s of Ardi poured into a single book. Love, love the plot! Although it’s on a hiatus (not sure) so it’s still ongoing.

4. Nothing Conventional About Us - A pretty interesting take on the story and the blend of greek mythology into it is just chef’s kiss! And handles pretty mature stuff, not the usual portrayal of our Gods yet still a very interesting read!

Arjun x Draupadi

from my book (draft); Chapter 14: Shri’s choice.

Oh, to have a brother. She casts a mischievous glance before pointing at her twin when Shikhandi fusses about who stole her sword.

Oh, to have a brother. She gazes at him with happy eyes as she and her garlanded husband are to proceed towards his home; thus starting their life. He left nothing in making sure she was the happiest in her swayamvara.

Oh, to have a brother. She breaks down in her twin’s arms as she reminisces the words of her mother-in-law. Share between the brothers.

Oh, to have a brother. She writes to him about her first day in Indraprastha. Krishna was there, yes, but who can ever replace her twin in her life?

Oh, to have a brother. She keeps the ceremonial plate aside, and runs to her twin’s open arms as he visits her kingdom for the first time.

Oh, to have a brother. He holds her first born close to his heart, before asking her how she’s been. Prativindhya only ever goes to his mamashree’s lap, and no one else’s.

Oh, to have a brother. She feels the heavy diamond-studded crown resting on her head, but the fire in her longs for the diadem of Panchala. She shares a knowing look at her twin who flushes beside his lovely wife.

Oh, to have a brother. She cries only after the dice game is over, in Indraprastha as her twin marches in with his army, his anger directed towards her husbands. She notices how his eyes turn red at the bruises on her body, but she knows he has to wait for 13 more years before the red gleams.

Oh, to have a brother. She smiles welcoming her twin inside her humble cottage in the forest, as he brings her gifts and letters from her children. She can never thank him enough for raising them on her behalf. He smiles but his eyes spark at her rough hands and bare feet. He doesn’t say anything as he massages her feet later that evening. He only looks harshly at her husbands.

Oh, to have a brother. Her sons stand before her, tall, capable and brave. People hail them as the right heirs to the Pandavas’ strength, but she knows it is the blood and sweat of her father, brothers and her kins of Panchala that made them who they are. Her twin stands behind them, proud and satisfied.

Oh, to have a brother. She hears her attendants informing her how her sons have been fighting, their powers equal to their fathers. Only because her twin raised them such well. Her twin stands as the barrier between the Kauravas and the Pandavas. She smiles but her heart worries too.

Oh, to have a brother. The war is over, and her twin stands in front of her with trunks of gold from Panchala. Asking her to reclaim herself as Panchala princess first, and then the empress.

Oh, to have a brother. She stares blankly at her twin’s pale body, his head separated. Tears escape, her sons chose to leave with him too. Her brother died protecting her blood, her joy. She cries as he returned to the fire leaving her alone. Her sister-in-law clings to her, finding comfort only beside her and no one else. Because who knew Dhrishtadyumna better than her? No one.

And her twin, Dhrishtadyumna is a forest fire. He invokes fear, he glares and burns and in the end, he is still her twin so he is still compassionate.

Both of them, scions of fire, two sides of the same coin. So very similar, so different.