#ouuuccchhh

* * * 

"Stay with me, stay with me." Dean murmured over and over into the sweat soaked hair of his lover. "It's not that bad," Dean promised as the man gasped, clutching him. Panic overwhelmed Dean and he felt his whole system begin to shut down. 

"It's not even that bad." he said again, feeling numb. His lover - Castiel - clutched his hands, skin, shirt, anywhere he could reach, breath rasping in his throat as his body convulsed. Light wailing filled the cool air, no doubt from the Ambulance that would not save him. 

Blood spattered Dean's hands, encouraging him to add more pressure to the bullet wound that blossomed from Castiel's chest. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Dean should have seen him. He should have been able to see the man for what he was. The man that had shot Cas was not some stranger on the street. He was the armed escapee from the nearest jail house. 

"Dean," Cas choked, blood bubbling at his lips. His hand clutched Dean's, pulling him closer. 

"I love you." he rasped. 

"No, no, don't talk like that. It's not even that bad. They're gonna fix you up, I promise, Cas." Dean cupped Castiel's face in his hands, stroking his pale cheek gently. He could see it. The ambulance was going to arrive and find a lifeless body.

The lifeless body that belonged to Castiel Novak.

* * *

Dean felt cold and empty and cheated. They took his Cas. The world was fucked up and wrong and nothing was ever going to be right again, Dean was sure of it. 

It was wrong because Dean would never wake up to the smell of Castiel's shitty coffee brewing. Even though the man had enough energy to power the city, he drank copious amounts of coffee saying it was 'for the taste.'  

It was wrong because Dean would never be able to wake Cas up with a morning blow job just to kick start his day. 

Dean would never watch Cas as he graded his papers, tutting at some answers , laughing at others and rolling his eyes at the rest before he brought his green pen ('always green, Dean. Red is a danger color.') to the top of the page to grade it, the  neatly stacked it in his graded pile to hand out to the class. 

He would never laugh, cuddle, kiss, play or talk to Cas again. Ever. 

Dean wanted to die. He wanted to be the one to have taken that bullet. But that was selfish of him and he knew why Castiel had taken it for Dean. He had seen the man first and his first instinct was to protect the man he loved the most.

A small part of Dean hated him for that. 

* * *

"I love you too, Cas." Dean murmured against his lovers face, feeling each breath he took as the sirens wailed by. "Cas," Dean murmured into his neck, cradling his lover as his breathes grew weaker. "Please don't go, please don't go, please don't go." he murmured, over and over, a plea for him to keep fighting, to keep holding on. Help was so close.

Dean hadn't even noticed the people who had gathered around, watching with tearful eyes as Castiel took his last few breathes, giving Dean his famous smile. The one that made Dean fall in love with him the first time.