#outwitting

Outwitting my fate is something I shall never regret. I showed up, subconsciously and consciously. I wanted to do more with my life than give in to something I didn’t know I had.

I was aware there was something different about me but my need to survive as a child, meant I needed to leave whatever I had on the back burner, until such a time I could change my life. Those years were difficult.

Over the years coming face to face with my rock bottom, came in the shape of a commitment to myself to change my life and my emotional health. Through my mental and emotional suffering, I found a purpose and The CP Diary was born.

I continued to stay present and never gave up on wanting to find out what was wrong with me. I never gave up on wanting to know about ‘me.’

It was important my suffering didn’t get the better of me, and my mental and emotional health. I had already worked out that if I ignored my issues forever, I would mentally and emotionally struggle. I needed to bide my time.

But outwitting our fate takes courage, a determination to change and watch our life change for the better. As a child I didn’t think about success, but I don’t think you do. Instead, you may think about what you may want to do when you’re grown up. In many cases, it is simply changing what is to what our life can be, and watching out for any potential success.

In my years of working through change, I could never envisage or know how that would look. Although it came late, through my continuous connection with the universe, I was aware my circumstances had to change. For things to work, our reasoning for change, should be in keeping with what the universe thinks is achievable, and we’re not stepping on anyone toes to get it.

My only burning desire as a child was to be allowed to come face to face with something I could see, that angered, irritated and upset the hell out of me; to know what was wrong with me and to be given a name to my physical and mental disability.