Please indulge me for a moment as I rant about how human beings operate...and how we can be better
I feel like this is obvious, but maybe it’s not for some people. So let’s talk about human nature and society.
Humans have always had an US vs THEM mentality.
It shows up in everything we do and think and say.
how we structure our societies
how we share resources with nature and with other humans
how we stigmatize people we think of as, The Other
how we determine who is a threat to our safety
how we talk to and talk about people with mental & physical disabilities
how we talk about people who may not come from our socio-economic background/ethnic group/religious group/educational background
gender-based/ethnic-based/sexual-based violence, as well as the ways in which we justify that violence
how we commit genocide and try to justify/disregard said genocide
how we treat people who have been oppressed or victimized by a particular group.
I can go on, but I think you get my point. (A lot of us also have a ME vs US mentality, but I’ll save that for a different post.)
So when people try to convince me (really, I think you’re just convincing yourself) that they are “good” or “nice” or that they aren’t racist or sexist or homophobic or islamaphobic or xenophobic or transphobic or ableist or what have you, then guess what? I’m not gonna believe you. (And I include myself in this statement.) Our implicit bias(es) manifest themselves in our speech and body language and in our actions and even in those quick value judgments we cast on others, but never act on or voice aloud. Because we as humans do this naturally. This is how our brains have evolved and this is how we’ve been socialized since infancy. It is what it is.
So whether or not we like it, you and I and everyone else are born into a biased world and we learn to be biased against one another. And whether or not that bias is justified, is completely immaterial.
For example, I internalized a very negative bias toward AAVE and the African Americans that use it, as well as a whole lotta shadeism. I know, ya’ll have seen me go hard for All Things Black(TM), but that’s just cuz I’ve always been pretty self-aware and I reprimand myself a lot; plus I was privileged enough to receive a good college education and God surrounded me with the right people, both irl and on tumblr, who knocked me off my high-horse. And every now and again, when those biases creep up on me, I know that I just have to purge them from myself. (I often think of 2 Corinthians 10:5 when these moments happen.) Part of what triggers it, I think is from the consumption of Media. And I understand that this is gonna be a life-long battle.
So moving forward, whenever someone calls you out for something you said that they felt was hurtful--for example, a comment that while not purposefully racist, still carried racist undertones--just step back and acknowledge that it is ENTIRELY possible that your comment could be tinted with centuries-old internalized racism (or some other societal-bias), thanks to the sordid history that birthed our nation.
These sorts of biases are stains that will forever remain until we do the hard work of asking ourselves why we believe the things we believe about those who “aren’t like us,” and start thinking about how we can change our thinking so as not to entertain such thoughts. (And please don’t misunderstand me, this isn’t about being a good person or even being perceived as a good person.) This is about taking control over your unconscious thoughts, slowly but surely, so you can be a healthier and better human being. (Also, it helps you to recognize patterns of bullsh*t so you don’t fall for it.)
I think that last bit was kinda vague, but it’s late for me and I've become tired, so my brain is only focused on going to bed.
Ah, I had one more thing. There was a post circulating on tumblr not too long ago, where this girl said that her mother taught her that the first thought that goes through your mind is what you have been conditioned to think, and that your second thought is who you choose to be. Or something like that.
So, yeah. Keep that in mind...when stuff happens.
Yeah. I’m sorry, I have to go to sleep now.
LOL! This is such a crap ending to my post!
