#in-groups

The question of what people belong to which groups depends on the perspective, but if I want an answer, I determine it like this

- Does the person consider themselves to be part of the group?

- Do other people who are widely considered to be part of the group, consider that person to be part of them?

- Do other people who are widely considered to not be part of the group, consider the person to belong to the group?

New Year’s Post… January 1, 2017

Every year has been the same. Improvements were desired but not accomplished, or if accomplished, then lost. Stability is desirable.

Humanity is polarized into various groups. Each group opposes all other groups in some way. If you do not adhere to all of the tenets of a specific group the members will become vicious or attempt to silence or shun you. You cannot pick the best of each group and…

The In-Group… December 11, 2016

There is a human phenomena known as “in-group”, sometimes also known as “in-group thinking”. Humans form groups. Each group considers itself the in-group. Other groups are looked upon unfavorably. Sometimes a group forms and develops actual animosity for other groups that do not subscribe to their particular beliefs. Group forming in itself is divisive. Members become biased toward helping other…

I feel like this is obvious, but maybe it’s not for some people. So let’s talk about human nature and society.

Humans have always had an US vs THEM mentality. 

Always. 

It shows up in everything we do and think and say.

US vs THEM shows up in

how we structure our societies

how we gain land

how we obtain mates

how we share resources with nature and with other humans

how we stigmatize people we think of as, The Other

how we determine who is a threat to our safety

how we talk to and talk about people with mental & physical disabilities

how we talk about people who may not come from our socio-economic background/ethnic group/religious group/educational background

gender-based/ethnic-based/sexual-based violence, as well as the ways in which we justify that violence

how we commit genocide and try to justify/disregard said genocide

how we treat people who have been oppressed or victimized by a particular group.

I can go on, but I think you get my point. (A lot of us also have a ME vs US mentality, but I’ll save that for a different post.)

So when people try to convince me (really, I think you’re just convincing yourself) that they are “good” or “nice” or that they aren’t racist or sexist or homophobic or islamaphobic or xenophobic or transphobic or ableist or what have you, then guess what? I’m not gonna believe you. (And I include myself in this statement.) Our implicit bias(es) manifest themselves in our speech and body language and in our actions and even in those quick value judgments we cast on others, but never act on or voice aloud. Because we as humans do this naturally. This is how our brains have evolved and this is how we’ve been socialized since infancy. It is what it is.

So whether or not we like it, you and I and everyone else are born into a biased world and we learn to be biased against one another. And whether or not that bias is justified, is completely immaterial. 

For example, I internalized a very negative bias toward AAVE and the African Americans that use it, as well as a whole lotta shadeism. I know, ya’ll have seen me go hard for All Things Black(TM), but that’s just cuz I’ve always been pretty self-aware and I reprimand myself a lot; plus I was privileged enough to receive a good college education and God surrounded me with the right people, both irl and on tumblr, who knocked me off my high-horse. And every now and again, when those biases creep up on me, I know that I just have to purge them from myself. (I often think of 2 Corinthians 10:5 when these moments happen.) Part of what triggers it, I think is from the consumption of Media. And I understand that this is gonna be a life-long battle.

So moving forward, whenever someone calls you out for something you said that they felt was hurtful--for example, a comment that while not purposefully racist, still carried racist undertones--just step back and acknowledge that it is ENTIRELY possible that your comment could be tinted with centuries-old internalized racism (or some other societal-bias), thanks to the sordid history that birthed our nation. 

These sorts of biases are stains that will forever remain until we do the hard work of asking ourselves why we believe the things we believe about those who “aren’t like us,” and start thinking about how we can change our thinking so as not to entertain such thoughts. (And please don’t misunderstand me, this isn’t about being a good person or even being perceived as a good person.)  This is about taking control over your unconscious thoughts, slowly but surely, so you can be a healthier and better human being. (Also, it helps you to recognize patterns of bullsh*t so you don’t fall for it.)

I think that last bit was kinda vague, but it’s late for me and I've become tired, so my brain is only focused on going to bed.

Ah, I had one more thing. There was a post circulating on tumblr not too long ago, where this girl said that her mother taught her that the first thought that goes through your mind is what you have been conditioned to think, and that your second thought is who you choose to be. Or something like that. 

So, yeah. Keep that in mind...when stuff happens.

Yeah. I’m sorry, I have to go to sleep now. 

Empathy Can Also Cause Hatred

From my Psychology Today blog: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/am-i-right/201404/there-is-ugly-underside-empathy

In an interesting study in elitism, the Financial Times recently profiled an interesting social network site growing in China, P1.cn. Their website, catering only to China's super-wealthy, describes itself as:

"A private social network for people with higher standards in life. Our members share similar values and interests, and have access to exclusive events and offers through our network."

The minimum monthly income to join is 8,000RMB, which FT describes as an upper-middle class lifestyle. However, the network stratifies along silver, gold, platinum, etc. lines based on how much above the minimum members actually are.

Despite how this might blatant elitism strike the ostensibly-meritocratic American readers of this blog, what struck me was the description of the network chiefly as a place for "similar values and interests" [here, "signaled" by wealth].

What is really interesting to me about this description is how different it is from many of the social networks in the United States that have gained broad user adoption - Facebook, "the place for friends," thrives on bringing interactions with those people whom you know in real life to the online world. Twitter, to some extent, makes interaction with others based on interests alone possible, but in 140-character increments.

P1, on the other hand, is all about getting a small and, apparently, lonely wealthy Chinese to meet and interact. And here's where it might be interesting for conference organizers. Whether or not P1 does this well, it's attracted 1.2M Chinese looking to try it out in order to meet and network with those who share their social standing and interests.

Conference organizers have an ostensibly less materialistic but even more focused interest-based group to cater to. Whether it's computer programmers, video gamers, or even knitters, part of the appeal of a conference is meeting new like-minded, similarly-statured people. That's why they bought the ticket. And the network that best fulfills this promise, even rather bluntly like P1, will undoubtedly grow.