#or impossible

If you want to make it at home. It’s less expensive and still packs a punch! 

Elements:

2 gallons whole cow milk

½ tsp. MM100 Mesophilic Starter Culture

½ tsp. liquid rennet

Cheese salt or other non-iodized salt

A tablespoon of each: 

amobarbital (Amytal)

butabarbital (Butisol)

pentobarbital (Nembutal)

secobarbital (Seconal)

belladonna

butalbital

acetaminophen

caffeine 

CONCOCT!

Heat milk over low heat to 70°F.

Turn off the heat. Sprinkle the starter over the surface of the milk, and allow it to rehydrate for 5 minutes. Stir in with a whisk, using up-and-down motions, for 1 minute. Cover and maintain the temperature at 70°F for 45 minutes to allow the milk to ripen.

Turn the heat back on and raise the temperature slowly to 86°F. After the milk has reached this temperature, add the diluted rennet by pouring it through a slotted spoon into the milk. Add in the drugs. Then stir it in for about 1 minute, using an up-and-down motion.

Cover the pot and let it sit undisturbed, for 35-40 minutes, or until you have achieved a clean break between curds and whey.

Maintain the temperature of the milk at 86°F. Cut the curds into ½-inch pieces; stir them for 10 minutes, then let them rest for 5 minutes, covered.

Ladle out about ⅓ of the whey in the pot, then add 3 cups of hot (130°F)water. When the temperature in the pot reaches 92-94°F, add 3 more cups of hot water. Stir 5 minutes, then add 2 more cups of hot water.

Add salt and stir it into the curds and whey. Keep adding water that is 130°Fas needed to maintain the curds and whey at a temperature of around 97°F. Constantly stir the curds until they begin to feel a bit springy when gently squeezed. This should take about 20 minutes.

Ladle off enough of the whey to expose the curds.

Using damp butter muslin, line a clean, 8-inch tomme mold and place it on a draining rack. Gently scoop the warm curds out of the pot with your hands or a cheese spoon into the lined mold. Press curds into the mold gently with the back of your hand. Pull out any wrinkles in the butter muslin, and fold the tails of the cloth over the top of the curds. Place the follower on top of the covered curds, and press the cheese at 8 pounds of pressure for 30 minutes.

Take the cheese out of the mold, peel away the butter muslin, flip the cheese over, and re-dress with the muslin. Place it back into the mold and press again at 8 pounds for 30 more minutes. Repeat this process for about 3-4 hours or until all the excess whey has been expelled. When pressing is complete, leave cheese in the mold without any pressure, out on the kitchen counter for about 3 more hours.

Place the cheese in the refrigerator and leave it there overnight. 

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