#oogh.

“Oh goodness, are you alright?” He looked up at you with concern in his eye, helping you steady yourself. A small nod is all you can respond with for the time being. You hold onto his arm quietly as you pull him into the room. Bless Chai’s poor heart, you weren’t quite there enough yet to talk much. After all, you were about to have another panic attack over being in space again! That alone was too much to process. You didn’t have the words to tell him you were using him as a balance to grab the cane. 

Your cane in your hand brought relief. It was grounding. Maybe it was the rather abused sword it hid, maybe it was the subtle reminder of your kismesis who helped you design it. Regardless, it brought comfort and clarity. 

“My apologies,” you finally say, voice gritty from sleep, “I wasn’t expecting anyone, yet. I would’ve dressed…nicer.” You motion towards the sweatpants you slept in. You realized you had thrown on a graphic tee your kismesis got you as a joke, and felt incredibly stupid. You looked like a rat. No, you looked like Bruuno. 

“Nicer?” Chai laughs, though his concern is still present. He doesn’t mention the cane but you notice he continues to glance at it, “Do you need a minute?” 

You nod. It doesn’t take you long to throw on cleaner clothes, from there Chai insisted on taking you around. You let him hold your hand as he guided you through the ship. He was mostly quiet, as if expecting you to speak. Even with your moirail you were never the chatty type. You only really rambled when Shiloh was around. You missed her. She loved hearing you talk about statistical impossibilities. 

Chai’s hand in your own was comforting. With one simple action, you felt infinitely less alone. Your brightest memory of Chai was when he lost his eye. You were young, barely a teenager, and had been sent on your first “mission” alone. You returned terrified, though you couldn’t remember why, mostly likely from a failure. You only remembered Deepbite’s glare boring holes into your soul, and the sound of Archai’s hand as he slapped your ancestor. Most would’ve died from even considering such a thing. It was one of the few times you remembered anyone standing up for you. But oh, if only you knew. All of the days of bickering spent over your wellbeing. Your thoughts are scattered as Chai squeezes your hand with a smile. You think he asked if you wanted coffee, so you simply nod. He guides you towards a larger clearing. The two of you walk slow, still feeling spaced out and gazing into the distance. A voice rings out above the ambient sounds of the ship, and forces your attention to it.

Your name is Obsidian, and your ship is being repaired. 

So, in the meantime, you were stationed on the ship of your matesprit. A good opportunity for a break, if anyone asked you. Sure, you could’ve gone anywhere, or even taken a real break, but where would you go? Besides, there was, supposedly, a very important visitor. 

When you had mentioned it to Juleus, he dismissed it. Just Archai, if you count him as important. Maybe you did, but as passionate as Chai was, you had a slight feeling that wasn’t the important visitor you caught wind of. 

What you were doing beforehand wasn’t important. You had been walking somewhere, of course, but the importance of whatever you had been doing instantly disappeared as you entered into one of the larger walking spaces. You froze in your tracks. 

“...Leo-?” 

Something lights up in your chest as he snaps his head to look at you. You don’t see a grown man, with weathered eyes and scarred face. You see the wriggler you had helped raise. You see the wriggler who looked up at you like you created the stars. The wriggler who was inspired by you, who inspired you. Who, for a brief period, made you feel like you had a purpose. You waste no time closing the space between you and him, barely registering just how tall he had gotten. 

The cane clatters to the floor. You lift the fuchsia off his feet, as you had done when he was younger. Had he been smaller, you might’ve swung him around. But instead, you set him back on his feet. The silence is almost as heavy as your hold on him. You can feel his heart racing as he sinks further into your arms. 

Leonra held onto you as if his life depended on it. And, to be honest, you did the same. You were relieved, and overjoyed, and so concerned. There was so much to say, so much to ask. But first, the hug had to end. What a scary thought. You had to let him go. You felt as if letting him free from your grasp would be a mistake, as if he’d never come back. You’d done it once and you didn’t want to go it again. 

Your name is Leonra Monark, and you are not a machine. 

You heard your name in a familiar voice, and immediately sobered up. For a moment, you were worried you were just hearing things. Machines don’t hear things. Your eyes dart around the clearing before freezing on him. 

He looked as if he hadn’t aged a day. He was just a bright, just as tired. Even his smile was the same. A sight for sour eyes. You didn’t say anything in response. The second your eyes locked, he closed the spaces between you. Your cane fell to the ground, forgotten, as Obsidian threw his arms around you. 

In that instant, the ship was no longer your enemy. You weren’t as afraid anymore. At its root, the only reason you even agreed to work with your ancestor again was to see Obsidian. You didn’t realize that until you achieved just that. Archai picked your cane up from the ground as Obsidian lifted you off your feet. Quite the feat for someone shorter than you, though you’d never complain. You were quiet as you held onto him. Your words were gone again, but you were overwhelmed with relief and happiness. 

You held onto Obsidian as if he would disappear in an instant. He smelled the same, somehow. His hug felt the same too. It brought forth an overwhelming nostalgia, almost enough to get you choked up. You’d be alright if the universe caved in that instant, because you felt right again. You weren’t alone out here. You had Archai and Obsidian. You wouldn’t get stuck on this damn ship. This was a mission you would survive, because you weren’t fighting on your own now. The reassuring thoughts flood your mind as you press your face further into his shoulder. You never wanted to let him go. You couldn’t let him go. Why did your damn leg have to hurt? Why couldn’t you stay here forever? Why did the moment have to end? 

After what felt like meer seconds and an eternity all at once, you finally let Obsidian go. Or, you tried to for a second, but he didn’t seem quite done yet. The hug lasted a few heartbeats longer before you were able to stand upright and retrieve your cane back from Chai. Obsidian moved his hands to your arms, as if he too feared you were just a figment of his imagination, as if you’d vanish the second he let go. 

“Back in the Fleet so soon?” Obsidian’s face showed his concern as he spoke. He never stopped smiling. Sweeps later, and the man still couldn’t stop smiling. 

“...I never said goodbye.” Your words were catching in your throat again, barely able to choke out that much. That obviously wasn’t a very clear answer. 

There was so much you wanted to say. Look, Obi, my hair’s longer than yours. I’m not a machine, Obi, I can love now. I have a matesprit. I have a moirail, and a kismesis. They love me, and I love them. My brother is alive, Obi, he’s nothing like Deepbite Alternia is home now, and I don’t hate it. I build prosthetics for a living.  Look at my matesprit, look at my moirail, look at my kismesis. Look at the life I’ve built off this ship. I’m happy now. I’m not a machine, Obi. I like puzzles, and swordfighting, and reading about physics. I helped raise a wriggler named Shiloh. Are you proud of me, Obi? 

But that was far too much to say right then. 

“....we were about to grab coffee,” you start, smiling slightly, “..can you come?” 

“Absolutely.” 

As you follow the other seadwellers, you feel at ease. You weren’t alone. Just knowing they were on the ship with you was reassuring enough. You would get through this. You would make it out of this alive. You would walk down the docks and return to your moirail’s side, and you would be alive. More than that, you would be fine. You could do this. You will do this.