#one two

Hii! I managed to scrounge up a giggle, but this is from my one non-911 WIP - it's for the 2008 movie RocknRolla.

All you need for context is that One Two is played by Gerard Butler at the height of his action man fame, a very young Tom Hardy is putting all his eggs in the English Bad Boy basket to play the canonically gay Handsome Bob, and they're career criminals (together with Idris Elba).

I'd apologise for the on-the-nose britishisms, but this is literally what the movie sounds like.

--

“It was you, wasn’t it.”

One Two extracts his head from the far reaches of Bob’s pantry cabinet to look at the man himself. Bob’s slouched against the kitchen counter in a muscle tee that used to be a regular tee before someone took scissors to it - a concession to the heat made necessary by the fact Bob lives right under the eaves. The tee’s got a cartoon character from the ‘80s on it, faded enough it’s missing an ear. It makes Bob look about fourteen years old, and One Two's not sure if he hates it or not.

He sticks his head back into the pantry.

“On principe, I'm pleading not guilty.”

“It was you what made sure I got off in court.”

The instant coffee he’s hunting for is wedged behind some bagels and a discount 8-pack of canned corn. One Two pries it out. Starts looking for a spoon.

“What?”

“Things weren’t adding up, were they?” Bob shifts so he’s looking at One Two. Looking at the side of One Two’s head, ‘cos One Two’s busy spooning out two mugs worth of coffee and thinking of ways to derail the conversation before it gets to where Bob’s trying to make it go. “Prosecution been right bloodhounds from the start, and they weren’t just havin’ a giggle. Had everything on me, didn’t they? CCTV, DNA, the lot.” The kettle clicks. One Two pours two mugs; spills half of a third ‘cos Bob’s kettle is a leaky piece of shit. “Wouldn’t make a lick of sense for them to lose the paperwork. Like losing the nails on a coffin what’s already been buried.”

--

Reign 2013-17

Mary and Francis

im so fond of everyone

if you ask what town i come from

its hard to pick only one

know you've never met someone like me

cuz im the only one

love me as i come now darling