#one two

This is a public service announcement…. …… …… with Bam Bam n Bass!

Ain’t No Stopping Nancy

~ @wee-fuckin-woo :]

Hii! In a stroke of luck I found both (kind of, i found 'sharps') - and in a disappointing turn of events, they're both in my RocknRolla WIP, not one of the 911 ones.

What you need for context: Mumbles is played by Idris Elba exuding cool to an almost offensive degree, One Two by Gerard Butler with an uncharacteristic commitment to showing he's a decent actor; and One Two had a run-in with some war criminals of uncertain nationality that involved violent and involuntary bondage and use of a dirty sock as a gag.

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One Two is comin' out of the gents' still doing up his fly when Mumbles presses the cartridges in his hands.

"Those Russians were just two," he says, while One Two's busy trying not to scatter sharps across the Speeler's hallway or flash his goods for God and all to see, "an' they nearly did us in. Jus' think about it, yeah?"

“Thought you said they were Chenyans.”

Mumbles gives him a look that One Two doesn't like seeing on Mumbles' face, which isn’t made for stone-cold seriousness.

There's an itch at his wrists and ankles. He thinks he can taste fabric fuzz on his tongue.

"Have it yer own way then, eh," he says. He pockets the lead and walks away.

--

Hii! I managed to scrounge up a giggle, but this is from my one non-911 WIP - it's for the 2008 movie RocknRolla.

All you need for context is that One Two is played by Gerard Butler at the height of his action man fame, a very young Tom Hardy is putting all his eggs in the English Bad Boy basket to play the canonically gay Handsome Bob, and they're career criminals (together with Idris Elba).

I'd apologise for the on-the-nose britishisms, but this is literally what the movie sounds like.

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“It was you, wasn’t it.”

One Two extracts his head from the far reaches of Bob’s pantry cabinet to look at the man himself. Bob’s slouched against the kitchen counter in a muscle tee that used to be a regular tee before someone took scissors to it - a concession to the heat made necessary by the fact Bob lives right under the eaves. The tee’s got a cartoon character from the ‘80s on it, faded enough it’s missing an ear. It makes Bob look about fourteen years old, and One Two's not sure if he hates it or not.

He sticks his head back into the pantry.

“On principe, I'm pleading not guilty.”

“It was you what made sure I got off in court.”

The instant coffee he’s hunting for is wedged behind some bagels and a discount 8-pack of canned corn. One Two pries it out. Starts looking for a spoon.

“What?”

“Things weren’t adding up, were they?” Bob shifts so he’s looking at One Two. Looking at the side of One Two’s head, ‘cos One Two’s busy spooning out two mugs worth of coffee and thinking of ways to derail the conversation before it gets to where Bob’s trying to make it go. “Prosecution been right bloodhounds from the start, and they weren’t just havin’ a giggle. Had everything on me, didn’t they? CCTV, DNA, the lot.” The kettle clicks. One Two pours two mugs; spills half of a third ‘cos Bob’s kettle is a leaky piece of shit. “Wouldn’t make a lick of sense for them to lose the paperwork. Like losing the nails on a coffin what’s already been buried.”

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