#rocknrolla

Hii! I managed to scrounge up a giggle, but this is from my one non-911 WIP - it's for the 2008 movie RocknRolla.

All you need for context is that One Two is played by Gerard Butler at the height of his action man fame, a very young Tom Hardy is putting all his eggs in the English Bad Boy basket to play the canonically gay Handsome Bob, and they're career criminals (together with Idris Elba).

I'd apologise for the on-the-nose britishisms, but this is literally what the movie sounds like.

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“It was you, wasn’t it.”

One Two extracts his head from the far reaches of Bob’s pantry cabinet to look at the man himself. Bob’s slouched against the kitchen counter in a muscle tee that used to be a regular tee before someone took scissors to it - a concession to the heat made necessary by the fact Bob lives right under the eaves. The tee’s got a cartoon character from the ‘80s on it, faded enough it’s missing an ear. It makes Bob look about fourteen years old, and One Two's not sure if he hates it or not.

He sticks his head back into the pantry.

“On principe, I'm pleading not guilty.”

“It was you what made sure I got off in court.”

The instant coffee he’s hunting for is wedged behind some bagels and a discount 8-pack of canned corn. One Two pries it out. Starts looking for a spoon.

“What?”

“Things weren’t adding up, were they?” Bob shifts so he’s looking at One Two. Looking at the side of One Two’s head, ‘cos One Two’s busy spooning out two mugs worth of coffee and thinking of ways to derail the conversation before it gets to where Bob’s trying to make it go. “Prosecution been right bloodhounds from the start, and they weren’t just havin’ a giggle. Had everything on me, didn’t they? CCTV, DNA, the lot.” The kettle clicks. One Two pours two mugs; spills half of a third ‘cos Bob’s kettle is a leaky piece of shit. “Wouldn’t make a lick of sense for them to lose the paperwork. Like losing the nails on a coffin what’s already been buried.”

--

Inceptiversary 2025 Watch Parties: Weekend 4 - (Friday, July 25 - Sunday, July 27)

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1. (500) Days of Summer - Friday, July 25, 8PM EDT  | Saturday, July 26, 12AM GMT | +1 10AM AEST

Tom revisits the approximate one year he shared with Summer, the girl he thought he could spend the rest of his life with. She, on the other hand, does not believe in relationships or boyfriends.

2. RocknRolla - Saturday, July 26, 8PM EDT  | Sunday, July 27, 12AM GMT | +1 10AM AEST)

A real estate fraud worth millions grabs the attention of the city's gangsters. When Wild Bunch tries to steal the cash, a local drug addict too attempts to get his share of the stolen money.

3. Catch Me If You Can - Sunday, July 27, 8PM EDT  | Monday, July 28, 12AM GMT | +1 10AM AEST)

Frank Abagnale Jr is a con man who poses as a pilot, doctor and lawyer and cashes forged cheques worth millions before his 21st birthday, despite being constantly chased by FBI agent Carl Hanratty.

Watch parties occur in the #watch-party channel on the Inception Discord server and are open to all! (Message us if you need an invite.) To participate in a watch party, you can watch the screenshare stream on Discord, or sync up with us using your own copy of the movie.

Quick links

Handsome Bob

Handsome Bob is a character from RocknRolla! He is canonically gay and has feelings for One Two, though he also hooked up with Bertie and an unnamed man.

"Rascally Brit Tom Hardy charms as a gay hooligan..."