#omoiyari

“Good done to others, is good done to oneself.” - Japanese Proverb

Just read Omoiyari book by Erin Niimi Longhurst which is as good as her previous book, “A Little Book of Japanese Contentment”.

While her previous book is about finding contentment in your life, appreciating every single blessings no matter how trifle it may seem and accepting certain things beyond your control as it is in order to find peace, this book is about being empathetic and kind to others whenever we could, as everyone is fighting a battle no one else knows about.

Omoiyari means to be caring, considerate and compassionate towards others. For example, doing simple things like saying “thank you” to someone is enough to brighten up their day or removing an obstacle from the footpath like a rubbish to avoid someone else from getting into an accident is enough to help others without you realizing it. 

But one thing I think we can all relate to is messaging someone and only for that person to reply within a few hours or even days. Then we get angry and agitated as we feel unimportant and unappreciated, being put on hold for someone or something else. But we failed to ask ourselves could it be that person is in a predicament at the point in time somehow? Surely, there are countless scenarios that might be happening at the time. 

Maybe he’s in a dentist having his teeth checked and can’t get his hands on the phone just yet? Maybe he’s got a sudden inflow of workloads coming in that week that he had to focus and rush through and make changes to his plans? Maybe he just got dumped by his girlfriend or fiancé and don’t feel like talking? Maybe someone got into admitted into the A&E and his mind is elsewhere? Maybe he’s having a panic attack which leaves him drained? The list goes on.

I’m embarrassed to say I was one of those people who got agitated when someone took a very long time to reply me but when life happens to me from time to time while my friends were texting me, I realize what if similar things happened to them? 

So ever since then, when someone didn’t reply me, I drop a follow up message asking, “Hey, you okay? Anything happen?” rather than “What took you so long? Are you that busy?”

You’ll be surprised at how people respond to you more with the first message than the second one. Put yourself in their shoes, imagine for a moment you receive a text when you’re in a very bad mood because of something happening in your life at that time and you don’t feel like talking, much less explaining to someone what kind of mess you’re in right now. 

But if you read a message asking you if you are okay, you’ll feel appreciated and less angry right? Seeing how thoughtful your friend is. And you’ll be more inclined to reply them politely. What I mean is that, you can’t expect someone to meet your expectations with their behavior when you yourself are behaving the same way with them. This is what the Japanese proverb meant, “Good done to others, is good done to oneself.”

Because the sad reality is that the world doesn’t revolve around us, there are so much at play here in this world and everyone’s struggling to keep their world from spiraling out of control. So most of the time it’s not you, it’s them. The challenge is to keep ourselves from jumping to conclusions with negative thoughts, thinking maybe he doesn’t like me, that’s why he didn’t reply me. Maybe he doesn’t think of me as a friend he once treasured anymore, etc.

It’s not easy, I know. But we can try. 

Anyway, Omoiyari is just one aspect of the book as it covers other topics as well which is about avoiding wastages (food and belongings), cleanliness (hygiene and cleansing your heart) and politeness. There’s even a chapter about packing a present for someone the easy way while giving it a personal touch as well without spending too much money! 

August 23, 2020: Omoiyari by Kishi Bashi

The Japanese internment camps are a truly shameful chapter in American history. Around 120,000 Japanese-Americans were forcibly relocated to prison camps, which remained open from 1942 to 1946. Conditions were often bad -- the camps had inadequate facilities and outbreaks of disease were common. The reason for internment was pure racism: although officially the United States was fighting against Germany, Japan, and Italy, German-Americans and Italian-Americans were not persecuted in the same manner or to the same degree as Japanese-Americans were by any stretch of the imagination.

Please remember that the people who were interned were people -- they had lives, families, and jobs, they were members of their communities, and many of them were citizens (although it should go without saying that everyone is entitled to the same human rights and dignity regardless of their citizenship). They were loyal to the United States; some of them joined the US military and fought in WWII. In fact, the 442nd Infantry Regiment, which consisted almost entirely of Japanese-American soldiers, is “the most decorated unit for its size in U.S. military history.” When the camps finally closed down, many of the people who had been held there struggled to reintegrate into society. They had lost their homes, businesses, and possessions when they had been forced to leave without warning. On top of that, they were still dealing with racism in their everyday lives. The camps may have closed down nearly seventy-five years ago, but the memory still looms large for some families, and it’s vital that we heed its warning in order to stop repeating that ignominious portion of history.