things you said that i wish you hadnt
âIâm lookinâ for my brother,â said Olmara, wringing her hands. âItâs been a few months, anâ I been findinâ that FCON ainât exactly the most organized bunch.â
Thalril watched her hands, only mildly interested in what she had to say. Heâd never seen her like this before, so clearly worried about... something or other. Oh, right, her brother. He wasnât really paying attention; he almost never did when she was talking.
âAll the people Iâve been talkinâ to ainât heard of him. I mean, itâs like he... like he just plum vanished! I jusâ- I dunno what tâdo, Thalril.â She hung her head, becoming blessedly quiet.
It was rather interesting to him so see Olmara so distraught. She was typically chipper to a fantastically irritating degree, and he rather enjoyed her occasional silences. But still, the reason she was so upset was because of a family member... Thalril couldnât help but sympathize.
âPerhaps he adopted a psuedonym,â he said, shrugging. âOr perhaps he has been stationed a sizable space from Thayd. Who can say? There is no reason to fret when you do not yet know the truth.â
A sigh shuddered in her throat as Olmara shrugged. âI... I guess. Still, I just donât have a good feelinâ about it.â
âWell, of course, he could be dead. Murdered by the vile Dominion. A distressingly common outcome.â
âWh-wha?â Olmara looked up at him like Thalril had just shot a little of baby vind and then laughed about it. âThâheck are you sayinâ, Thalril?â
He shrugged, marveling at the speed with which her features changed. âIâm merely stating one of the possible outcomes. It is very possible your brother could be dead, Olmara.â
âI-I know that!â she said, rising to her feet. âBut you just said there wasnât no reason tâworry about it!â
âThere still is not.â
âSo whyâd ya bring it up?â
âBecause it is possible.â
An exaggerated gasp escaped Olmaraâs lips as she stood up. âThat donât mean yâneed tâbring it up! I got enough on my mind without thinkinâ... stuff like that!â
âYou cannot escape the grim reality of this war, Olmara. Only when you accept this possible outcome will you be free to continue.â
âWhy? What if it turns out he ainât? Why would I wanna get myself all bothered over nothinâ?â she said, throwing her hands in the air.
She just didnât understand it like he did, thought Thalril. A Mordesh couldnât escape death, they practically were dead already. The sooner you accepted it, the better. âIt may not be nothing.â
âDammit, Thalril, it donât... It donât matter! Now youâre just makinâ me worry for no good reason! Anâ donât tell me âoh but there might be a good reason,â neither!â There was a strain in Olmaraâs voice, a threat of cracks in her emotional dam. âJust âcuz- just âcuz you lost someone, it donât mean I gotta lose someone too!â
How dare she. âFine. If you wonât be rational, then I am leaving. I will not stand around and be insulted by someone like you.â
As he turned, he could hear her footsteps in the grass behind her, trailing after him like a loyal dog that heâd just struck. Deplorable. âThalril, I didnât mean it like that, Iâm sorry. I just donât deal with losinâ stuff very well, so I kinda-â
âI donât care, Olmara. We have all lost things in this war, and you must be prepared to do the same,â he said, not looking back at her. âWhether or not you deal with it well is irrelevant. It will happen.â
âI canât lose him!â she shouted, tears welling in her eyes. âI already lost mom, I canât lose him, too! If I do, what am I sâposed to tell dad?â
âTell him the truth. I donât understand you humans and your desire to cling onto your mortality; you spend such stretches stressing over your short lifespans that you scarcely live at all.â
âYou canât expect us tâbe the same as you! We ainât Mordesh! Stop tryinâ to make me see things your way, okay? Iâm sorry for what happened tâyou but weâ ainât the same person!â
Thalril stopped by the exit, finally turning to face Olmara again. âYou know, Olmara, Iâm actually fascinated,â he said, leaning down over her. âI had already thought you irritable before, but now I find I can stand you even less.â And then he was gone before she could speak, leaving Olmara nothing but hurt feelings and tears streaming from her eyes.