[NEGATIVE POST ALERT] Vent out.
Let me collect my thoughts for a little bit.
No, darlings, a manager is not only for manage. A manager who doesn't know the profession what he / she needs to manage - sooner or later will be a clown only. Actually is a clown...
Yes, nowadays the hardest thing to do successfully in a workplace is simply doing the bloody job.
Yes, instead of people, only the fashion of generating huge sh_tstorm of fake buzzwords is thriving. Not you, not me, the buzzwords only.
No, we don't need meetings three times a week with the same team about the same subjects, with a different title. No. Unless you want to take away expensive working hours from your own business.
No, we don't need to force a well-selling and expensive project management method on a team with three members. If I remember what "common sense" means, so do you.
No, organising team building events or weekends won't make the team working better. No one wants to be handled as toddler for a weekend, building castles from toilet rolls or go treasure hunting all around the city for "fun". Literally no one.
No, I don't want to show even a little slice of my home (a. k. a. my personal life) to you via video call. I know you are very curious, but please don't force it, let's focus on the job.
Yes please, if I ask you to keep an information (like death of a relative) private, because I don't want anyone to ask idiot questions; PLEASE don't broadcast it via your meetings anyway.
No, boss, I don't want to be on social media. I know it would make the "getting to know each other" timeline shorter, and based on my uploads you could judge me and think you know me, but no. I won't make your life easier, because I appreciate others' privacy too. Like yours.
No, I didn't do the "Couch to 5K". I do workouts regularly instead.
No, completing expensive five slide courses and having colourful certificates of disability, LGBTQ, Black Lives Matter, etc. will not make you a better person automatically. Again, common sense.
No, I don't want to have an office pet. We have enough chimps, rats, snakes and bitches around anyway.
PS for extra points: Can you tell me when will we start doing the actual job please?
Thanks for now. To be continued.