#offensiveness

OFFENSIVENESS S2 E16

    Before people could speak or understand our biological functions, we had intercourse. Over time, people came out of the caves, made clothing, formed societies, built cities, and became civilized. During this transition, the subject of intercourse changed from an essential human utility to a deeply controversial, personal topic that holds a special place in our society.

    Because intercourse is a delicate subject, it is difficult to write about. Society traditionally considers books, magazines, or newspapers that have written intercourse descriptions to be perverse or “dirty.” However, mass media now provides many intimate descriptions and raunchy visual material. This onslaught makes the subject less shocking, but inappropriate material now confronts our children.

    As a father, I have mixed feeling about this (somewhat) recent development. When I was growing up, obtaining any information on the subject was difficult, but now anybody can view an endless amount. This development will make learning about the topic easier for my daughter, but I do not want her to get bombarded by filth.

    For example, we allow our daughter to watch the television program, Family Guy. There are intercourse references in almost every episode. I find it amusing that as we watch television together, she does not react to them. Thus, the “taboo” topic no longer holds the same special place it once did. It has become buried in the noise of everyday life.

    In my second book, Pushed to the Edge of Survival, a romance develops between the two main characters. I thought that writing an intercourse scene would be easy because I knew the plot. Instead, it was an uncomfortable experience because I had never used intimate words in a document meant to be read by the public.

    The scenes I wrote were passionate with intense emotion. I thought I did a great job, but when I completed the first draft and read the result, the intercourse scene shocked me. I had created something too graphic and inappropriate for what I was trying to achieve.

    I toned down the scene to make it more mainstream. But unfortunately, I went too far, and the description became mechanical. Essentially, I had taken out all the good stuff. I edited the scene several times to find a good balance. My goal was not to offend the reader while keeping the passion.

    One of my writing rules I set for myself was to refrain from vulgarity, demeaning descriptions, and four-letter words. I believe this is the dividing line between intercourse and filth. Thus, I used textbook anatomy words.

    Traditional romance books read take a different approach to intimate scenes. They use lofty words to paint an idealistic scene. For example, the male anatomy might be called “his personal area” or a made-up word, “gobble horn.” It is up to the reader to decode these cryptic descriptions. I do not feel this approach helps a reader connect with the passion a character is supposed to express.

    Why? Mass media has educated people, and they are now mature enough to handle the reality of a realistic and tasteful intercourse description. In addition, birth control has turned intercourse into a fun activity instead of a seedy hook-up. This new level of acceptance is why the book 50 Shades of Grey was so popular. But was it a breakthrough book? No. Intercourse descriptions have become mainstream, and books/tv/movies have been heading in this direction for a long time.

    What will the future hold? Unfortunately, mass media has made this intimate topic so mainstream that the impact is nearly gone. Thus, raunchy material is creeping into forbidden places of safety. For older books, the intercourse scene was the apex of the story. Now, it is one event among many. Yet, a few people still consider the topic to be vastly offensive.

    This tiny group caught me off guard. I received harsh reactions to my book and had to remove the intimate scenes in the second edition. As a new author, this hurt, but I cannot afford any negative publicity. I think the change cheapened the characters but also heightened the tension. I suppose that makes for a better overall book. This lesson was important, but I was proud of my original creation.

    The good news is that it is becoming easier to write an intimate scene because there is less pressure to be timid. I have now learned that the trick to preventing negative feedback is to prepare the reader (far in advance) for what kind of book they are about to read.

    You’re the best -Bill

    April 30, 2023

    Hey book lovers, I published three! Please check them out.

    Interviewing Immortality is a psychological thriller about a 500-year-old woman who forces a disgraced author to interview her.

    Pushed to the Edge of Survival is a drama, romance, and science fiction story about two unlikely people surviving a shipwreck and living with the consequences.

    Cable Ties is a classic spy novel about two hunters discovering that government communications are being recorded and the ensuing FBI investigation.

    I was born with little self-esteem, and building it to the modest amount I have today took great effort. This growth was not achieved naturally; instead, I forced myself to man up, be outgoing, try new activities, go places, talk to people, accept mistakes, gain a voice, date girls, and form my own opinions.

    What is the overall self-esteem improvement between 10-year-old Bill and today’s Bill? He is more confident. What is confidence? One could argue that confidence is managing and encouraging offensive behavior. “I’m right; you’re wrong.” “You overcharged me.” “This is the way we’re going to do things.” Young Bill would have never uttered such bold statements.

    Is it wrong to be offensive? People need to push back in this modern age, or society will squish them. Is the term “you overcharge me” offensive? Let’s review the statement from the receiving perspective. An angry customer is complaining. While the tone may be pleasant, the hostile intent is clear. So, indeed, the statement contains some offense.

    From my mid-twenties on into middle age, I mellowed out. Life is too short to be upset about the little things. I am now a family man who regrets past arrogance, and I try hard to be a pleasant, upstanding individual.

    That is until I start writing. Stories must be larger than life, unrealistic, and controversial. Does this mean they are offensive? No matter what happens, some people will be offended, but a bold story requires offensive elements.

    On the far end of the scale is a light romance with a timid hand-holding scene. “They briefly grasped hands to share their love.” It’s not steamy, but some people could consider this statement radically offensive. “How dare you expose my children to public displays of affection!” This is a valid concern. We must remember that not everybody can handle raw emotion, and people have different values. For example, the Amish certainly would not approve of public affection. Side note. How are Amish babies made? Some hand-holding must be going on.

    My works contain murder, torture, intimate scenes, and underage relationships. To date, I know that four people were offended by my words. Is this bad? I feel deep regret and wish they had not read my books. Did I intend to upset them? Of course not. I tried to write exciting books that everybody enjoyed, but this effort pushed my boundaries far outside my comfort zone. I did so knowing there would be consequences.

    Writing offensive material is not natural or easy for me. When creating such works, I care to be as tasteful as possible. For example, I limit vulgar words to the absolute bare minimum. In addition, I show how a character’s morals became corrupted to justify their offensive behavior and make sure the law catches up with them.

    Yet, my view on this topic is representative of a limited slice of our society. Many people go out of their way to act offensively and are clearly aware of their actions. For example, the television show South Park pushes the limits of society into bold new realms. Their Barbra Streisand episode was particularly mean.

    Let us not forget that life is offensive. Earth has (and will have) wars, slavery, brutality, crime, corruption, bad parents, and inequality. Refusing to write or read about these offensive topics causes readers to repeat past mistakes. For example, letting a dictator take over a country is not a good idea. Why? (Insert fact-filled genocide description here.) That’s why.

    Writing about offensive topics, if often entertaining, educational, and overall, is a positive experience. Take the movie Saving Private Ryan with Tom Hanks. The story is set in WWII and depicts facts mixed with fiction and gory action. What did I think about that movie? I enjoyed every scene. However, my Uncle Al chose not to watch this movie. He even turned away from the movie preview because it reminded him of his time in Vietnam.

    Let’s examine that concept. My late Uncle Al was a big, tough guy. Why would a strong-willed person like him get offended by a trivial movie? The answer does not matter. Al had the right to decide what he liked and did not like. In this case, the movie offended him even though he did not see it.

    What do I say to the people I offended? I can only say that I am sorry. Should I keep apologizing? Should I stop writing? Should I only write fluffy, good material?

    The answer is that I need tougher skin. No matter what I do, I will offend somebody. That’s life. My choice is to move forward. This includes pushing story boundaries even if they might cause problems. Dang that is a hard pill to swallow.

    I must remember that my work has also delighted readers, and they left many excellent reviews that have deeply touched me. Overall, writing has been 30% frustrating and 70% positive. Now, I need to concentrate on making it 71% positive.

    You’re the best -Bill

    January 25, 2025

    Hey, book lovers, I published four. Please check them out:

   Interviewing Immortality. A dramatic first-person psychological thriller that weaves a tale of intrigue, suspense, and self-confrontation.

    Pushed to the Edge of Survival. A drama, romance, and science fiction story about two unlikely people surviving a shipwreck and living with the consequences.

    Cable Ties. A slow-burn political thriller that reflects the realities of modern intelligence, law enforcement, department cooperation, and international politics.

    Saving Immortality. Continuing in the first-person psychological thriller genre, James Kimble searches for his former captor to answer his life’s questions.

    I recently re-watched the 2017 episode of Family Guy, where Brian the dog tweeted that he was about to watch a movie. He failed to see that his post was wildly racist.

    This fictional event got me thinking about my public interactions. While I do not use Twitter or Instagram, I post articles and write books. Could something I create be misinterpreted, taken out of context, or accidentally offensive? That is a real possibility because I must push boundaries so my work stands out. My controversial topics include murder, aliens, intimate relationships, deceit, theft, fraud, torture, plagiarism, working with criminals, and entrapment. Each one of these topics is a potential powder keg of public outcry.

    Also, the public is bombarded by offensive noise, and they have grown to ignore it. From outlandish comedians pushing every possible boundary to news about hate crimes. It is easy to assume that a “casual” remark is acceptable. For example, two people joke around, and an author might think, “Hey, that joke was funny. Since I heard it in public, it must not be too offensive. I’m going to use it in an upcoming book.”

    Could I overcome such a mistake? I cannot because my meager status as an upcoming author does not have a loud voice to overcome millions of people reading/creating slanderous posts about my mistake. What damage could this do? The best case is that my efforts to become a successful author would be put on hold for five years. The worst case is that all online markets would remove my books, and people would continue to insult me until the day I die. Yikes!

    How likely is this to occur? To answer this, we must think about the Family Guy episode. Some nobody tweeted an offensive post. In real life, people tweet offensive material all day long without consequence. So, the reality is that it is unlikely that a large group will form to attack a nobody author like me.     Yet, the public is fickle. Who knows what random subject people will latch onto? Recall that all major news outlets focused 200% on the disappearance of Malaysia Airlines Flight 370 for six months during 2014. There were many wild theories, calls to action, pseudoscience, demands for more searches, and expert opinions. The public absolutely could not get enough.

    What am I doing to prevent myself from making mistakes? My first line of defense is to write in a safe space devoid of offensive topics. For example, I would never intentionally write something racist. (I also do this for moral reasons.) To do this, I make sure my characters, while flawed, do not cross certain lines. For example, if my story involved a biker gang member, I would avoid making them racist, sexist, or a stereotypical biker. As a result, if readers were motorcycle enthusiasts, they would not give a second thought to the scene. “A hard-core biker committed a robbery. No big deal.” Now, if I made the biker out to be a bumbling idiot or a racist, then people would be offended. “Hey, not cool!”

    There is a tradeoff with writing in this limited space. My range is limited, and this has consequences. For example, I have wanted to write an article about how the media portrays women poorly. The problem is that to create such an article, I would have to list examples that would offend readers, so I will never publish such an article. Bummer.

    Another method to avoid controversy is heavy editing. Thus, I review each article for three weeks before posting. If I uncover anything even remotely offensive, it gets deleted. Since my writing adventure began, I have deleted three articles to keep controversy to a minimum. What were the topics? I am not falling for that one.

    For my books, there is no choice but to have at least three pairs of eyes reviewing my words. I eliminate or edit the offending section if they detect anything remotely offensive.

    My last line of defense is to pull an article or book if the public has a bad reaction. My second book fell into this category, and I released a second edition that corrected the problem. That was a big mistake and a hard lesson. Did this mean that my creativity was compromised? You bet.

    My biggest failing in this area is not researching every sentence. For example, I enjoyed the show Leverage. There is plenty of material to discuss. After all, the show was popular and well-written. Yay! 

    It turns out that the show’s star, Timothy Hutton, was accused of a 1983 incident. This greatly affected his reputation, and if I had not known about this incident, I could have easily written an article praising Timothy Hutton’s character and received substantial backlash. Would the public care that much about one of my timid articles? It only takes one angry person to get the ball rolling.

    What are some examples of mistakes I caught? I uncovered one last week in an upcoming book. A female main character made a mistake and then joked about her error to the male main character. It read well, but on about the fourth editing pass, I was shocked by my unintentional sexist creation. The problem was that humor is easy to misinterpret. So, I re-wrote the entire section.

    My conclusion is that being an author is like walking in a minefield. Eventually, I am going to step on one or more mines. Hopefully, my minefield only contains small ones.

    You’re the best -Bill

    October 02, 2024

   Hey, book lovers, I published four. Please check them out:

  Interviewing Immortality. A dramatic first-person psychological thriller that weaves a tale of intrigue, suspense, and self-confrontation.

   Pushed to the Edge of Survival. A drama, romance, and science fiction story about two unlikely people surviving a shipwreck and living with the consequences.

   Cable Ties. A slow-burn political thriller that reflects the realities of modern intelligence, law enforcement, department cooperation, and international politics.

   Saving Immortality. Continuing in the first-person psychological thriller genre, James Kimble searches for his former captor to answer his life’s questions.

CARL GOOCH Carl’s Thoughts on – Offense / Offensive These thoughts are just my opinion and not intended to offend anyone. If you are offended it’s because you allowed yourself to be offended. I’m not saying that there is nothing out there that will not offend you. But in today’s world it seems as though some people go looking for something to be offended by. They even make up new language and…