#offenderman headcanon

Thank you!

I really liked this idea, so I hope you enjoy :))

While the main brother you'll be around as a new employee is Slender, he is very aware of the fact that his brothers like to drop by unannounced (and can be a lot to handle), so it's become a new tradition to get introductions out of the way once a new employee arrives. Of course, you are warned in advance that this is going to be taking place, but it doesn't make the shock any lower when you stumble into Slender's office and see the four of them together. Slender, sitting at his desk looking grumpy despite lacking any features, Offender to the left rambling on and on, Trender to the right eagerly returning his conversation, and Splendor in the middle just happy to be there. What have you gotten yourself into?

Slender tries to ease you into it gently, having you sit beside him so he can easily escort you out if you get overwhelmed (it's overwhelming enough being a human next to such energetic, huge eldritch beings), but it's difficult for even him to reign in his three brothers at once. It's hard to keep track of conversation when there are three of them blabbing at once about so many different things, but you do your best to smile and nod along until they can calm down enough to talk to you individually instead of all at once. Trender takes the lead, discussing fashion with you (especially what you'd like for your uniform, as he makes all the uniforms for Slender's employees), even bringing references and fabrics for you to look at so you might have a better idea about what you'd like to wear. After discussing fashion for what feels like hours, it transitions into Fen trying to update you on any and all Underworld gossip (because as a human, you're new here), and he gives you lots of advice on who to avoid while you're settling in, and who to talk to if you need anything at all (the brother's all pool their connections to help each other and their employees out), and when you gossip right back with him he gets a big, wide grin on his face that says he likes you immediately and you'll get along great. Splendor is (shockingly) the most calm, but only because he doesn't want to scare you right away with his high energy.

“Do I drive you crazy baby?”

I’m really proud of this drawing, the anatomy and rendering is EATING

Slenderbeings, at their core, are a solitary species. Their instincts incline them to apathy towards weaker creatures and hostility towards anything that can be regarded as a threat to themselves or their resources. And what but a slenderbeing is powerful enough to successfully kill, harm or out-compete another slenderbeing?

As a result, early encounters between slenderbeings overwhelmingly resulted in bloodshed.

Unfortunately, you can't sustain a species with a population that kill each other on sight.

So life found a way.

Slenderbeings have a term for this "way" that one could directly translate into english as " [he/she/they/I] fought the love into [you/me]" or more poetically as "finding love through battle" or more concisely as "love-struck". The term describes a phenomenon in the species where intense sexual attraction is developed during combat.

For some slenderbeings it is sudden and overwhelming; in one moment you're trying to rip out each other's throats and in the next you're fucking each other into the dirt. For others it is delayed and gradual; you're limping away from your battle to lick your wounds in peace, assuaging your ego by thinking of how you're going to retaliate, how your claws will feel rending through the other's skin, how their blood will look staining the pristine glow of their face, how effortlessly you'll move through the attacks the other makes with their long, elegant limbs, how it would feel to fuck each other into the dirt - huh. Where did that thought come from?

Of course, not every battle causes this phenomenon. There are numerous factors at play that determine if and when an individual reaches that point. Generally, however, the more intense and prolonged the battle, the more likely this attraction will form in a combatant.

While occasionally both slenderbeings involved in the fight may develop the attraction at roughly the same time, it is much more common for only one combatant to "have the love fought into them". In other species this one-sided attraction may precipitate attempts at non-consensual pairings. However, the intensity and length of battle needed to trigger the attraction is only truly possible between slenderbeings of similar strength. Therefore, the "love-struck" slenderbeing would not have the power necessary to force a coupling with the object of their affection. This is understood both intellectually and instinctually so very few ever attempt it, with the determined preferring to throw themselves wholeheartedly into courtship and the stubborn preferring to ignore the feelings until they (hopefully) go away.

Once the most prevalent reason slenderbeings engaged in mating behaviors, it slowly decreased in prevalence as various pressures made it beneficial for slenderbeings to go against their instincts and form societal structures of increasing complexity, doubly so once The Revolution creates a broader cryptid society that prides itself in harmony between and amongst its diverse populations.

TW: slight NSFW, mentions of possible violence

Offender doesn’t have many self-imposed rules he abides by.

His existence within itself is pretty immoral, thus while he has some morals, most of the actions we would judge as either good or bad are mainly a matter of practicality and pleasure for him.

He won’t go out of his way to kill his victims as it’s not an action he derives much joy from, but accidents sometimes happen. The difference between him and the average human is great, he is powerful, strong, and massive while humans are fragile, tinny, and weak. He could break you like a twig. 

Since there are a lot of very apparent safety concerns, he does believe that he shouldn’t have any relationships with any human that is considered to be on the smaller side. While he won’t get a measuring tape out, he will try to estimate your height by looking at you. His partners tend to be taller than average to decrease the risk of injury. 

Nowadays he only chooses willing partners, however, he is well aware of the fact that the harm he has done to innocent humans cannot be undone. Him changing and becoming less sinful won’t reverse the horrible acts he has committed. He does not deserve pity, he does not deserve to be looked at as a misunderstood man, he does not deserve to be vindicated. He, just like any criminal out there, knew what he was doing. Instead, he simply prioritized his need for control and pleasure over the well-being and agency of others. 

At the same time, he does still enjoy seeing his partner struggle. He won’t intentionally hurt them. He seeks people with similar tastes, they talk to find out each other’s desires and comfort zones. He always respects the safe world/gesture (e.g. snapping your fingers if you can’t talk) while ensuring that he isn’t too rough. Humans are easy to break both physically and psychologically. 

Plus, having regular partners with developed tastes and reactions he gets to enjoy is more efficient than needing to search for someone new every time. 

Offenders tries to avoid married people. He won’t go out of his way to seek them, nor will he instantly agree to their offer, but if they are persistent in seducing him, he will give them what they want. This is a very grey area and while he knows that by giving in he is helping them break their promise, he also knows that a cheater is a cheater. Whenever they choose him or someone else, they will still disregard their vows. 

He doesn’t condone cheating; hence he will ensure that their partner knows exactly what kind of person their lover truly is. Though, first, he will have fun.

If you make a promise, you must keep it. Offender is always faithful in a serious relationship, and fulfills any promises he makes while expecting the same from anyone else he is with.

Despite being extremely self-centred in his love life, he respects the fact that different people have different sexualities. Therefore, he never goes after people who are not interested in men. 

It is also remembered that Offender has been committing a wide range of crimes for centuries, and while he is not currently engaging in violent crimes for fun, he still does it when he deems it necessary

First off! They are referred to as the Matheson Brothers in this AU as Matheson is their last name. Three of them are Valdernak, Splendor is Valderna. The Valdernak ones are also pureblooded, or purebred due to having full Valdernak parents.

SLENDER:

Name is Charles Damian Matheson. Known as either Sir, or Mr. Matheson to those who are not family.

Physical and mental age is 26, while chronologically being 26 eons.

Eye colour: crimson

The Mansion is really a boarding house because this man decided that having a bunch of clearly supernaturally enhanced killers on the loose was a terrible idea.

He was not wrong about this, and is very confused as to why humans are so sensitive to becoming supernatural in nature

His best proxies are Hoodie and Masky, though the later has a tendency to revert back to Tim Sutton.

He has no idea why this happens, and just possesses Tim when he shows up.

Baby of the family, and despite his maturity, it does show

Also the most homicidal if we discount Splendor.

Has a human mate and was delighted to find she ended up being a cryptid along the line due to her being a true witch.

Is honestly a pretty good father, and loves his daughter very much.

Does not quite grasp the idea that humans are horribly delicate, and sometimes is a bit frustrated when his proxies die after doing tasks that he thinks they should be able to do.

Has gotten better, but is still bad.

Hates traditionalists with a passion, and is not above killing them.

TRENDER:

Full name is Alexander Percival Matheson, also known as Alex and Al.

Age is 34, or 34 eons, and is the eldest brother.

Eye colour: bright yellow

Hates being called Ally.

Has a silk farm

This silk farm consists of genetically mutated spiders affectionately referred to as his little hellions. These spiders also bare frightening similarities to the varients found in both hell and the Path.

Owns a silk company and a tailor shop, both of which dating back to around 3100 BCE

Enjoys going into a human form and speaking with humans who are either artistic or into fashion.

The least homicidal of the siblings

Thinks humans are adorable.

Disappointed that he can no longer hunt as he pleases as all the humans he prefers to eat are highly influential people. No longer can they just die of an "illness" without humans figuring out Valdernak exist.

Very sarcastic, and protective of his younger brothers.

SPLENDOR:

Full name is Joseph Xavier Matheson

Sometimes is called Joey.

Eye colour: dark red

Age is about 31, or 31 eons.

Adopted when he was around 3 years of age

No one knows what went on during those those three years, and Joseph ain't telling

Loves fucking with people, and enjoys pissing his brothers off

Does not care particularly much for humans but understands why they should be allowed to exist

Is very homicidal and has been known to kill creepypastas, and other cryptids.

Happy for the most part

Has been trying to kill Laughing jack for years

At this point it's a ritual between them

OFFENDER:

Full name Jackson Victor Matheson, also known as Jack, or Jackie

Age 28, or 28, eons

Eye colour: bright rose

Was assualted when he was younger by their sire, and has resulted in him being rather hypersexual

While caring to his partners for the most part, he seperates himself from them during sex. This has resulted in him disociating during sex and killing his partners as a result

Rather romantic, he becomes very anxious when it comes to sex around those he finds attractive

Hates being alone. Genuinely cannot stand to be alone.

Has a Cerebus named Inglebert Humberdink who helps him with this and hunting

Flirty, which is a part of the hypersexuality

A sweetheart for the most part.

Probably the chillest around humans

Smokes a lot

Owns a bar, that's been around for as long as anyone can remember

Likes trenchcoats, but does wear clothes beneath it. Just finds them comfortable

Aside from Charles, is the most family oriented

SINISTER:

Name is Evelynn Veronica Matheson, has been known to go by Eve, prefers Evelynn

Age is 26, or 45 eons

Eye colour: very pale lilac

Has aged slower due to being a Void-kin

Eldest of the siblings

Grew up with ten younger siblings with adoptive family

Has been known to manipulate humans and cryptids alike

Like Charles, absolutely hates Traditionalists, mostly because they're trying to kill her

Never knew Birth Mother, just has the knowledge that she is dead

Has a pet Voidling named Lotus

Finds humans interesting little creatures

Eventually becomes an Aldritch

SLENDERJR

Preferably known as Elizabeth Maria Matheson

Eye colour: bright red

Age 16, or 102 years

Has just begun aging by the eon due to being half human

Helps out with her father often

Doesn't understand traditionalists

Quicker to come up with ideas in comparison to her father and uncles

Knows both traditional Valdernak magic, and witchcraft

Splendorman: Oh! Trender is gay too you guys should hook up

Surrenderman: Huh??

Y/n: That's not how it works laughing

Offender: Splendor what???

Trender: Alright. He's still new to this I'm sorry

Literally my fav drawing I did of him. Heres my canon

Listened to