#off anon

(Updated with face blurring) TW// transphobia, slurs, blatant misgendering

No homophobia/transphobia like WME community member homophobia/transphobia.

i watched my dad go through severe sepsis - as in septic shock, which has the highest mortality rate - and live. during this time he had metastasized terminal lung cancer (moved to his liver and kidneys).

while he was suffering from sepsis, he wasn't at all the same person. i mean, hell, he was a much worse person when his illnesses started getting real bad. he had a million issues, including severe neuropathy, a broken back and neck (years previous) and a lot more. he was a much more unkind person.

i understand that peeper's been doing this for years, in terms of these... cycles, i guess, but in some ways i also understand being a much angrier person than usual as someone with horrible pain all the time. but i know that infections like these and other inflammatory illnesses and similar things can affect your brain - one of the most common symptoms for a UTI in older people is literally signs that mimic dementia. shit gets crazy.

again i know that peeper's been doing this for years and im not defending his actions even though i also heavily dislike tfsd for personal reasons. its just. yknow. i kinda "get it" even if i don't agree with the way he treats people.

First of all, I'm so sorry for your dad and family having to deal with all that. As someone who's also had to take care of chronically ill family members, its tough for both the sick person and their caretakers all around.

Every single sick family member that I've dealt with always had something that fucked with their brain and the way that they regulated their emotions or personality in some way. My maternal grandmother suffered from a slow growing pituitary tumor which gave her seizures, and the radiation treatment for it and numerous surgeries that she had to undergo left her in constant pain and made her very volatile and unpredictable. My paternal grandmother who recently passed had lung cancer which pressed on her heart and had metastisized to other places, which caused her to need an oxygen tank and made her very forgetful because her brain simply wasn't getting enough air. And finally my mother, whose condition is less debilitating than what I've already mentioned but it still definitely affected her in noticeable ways throughout my childhood, has a lot of fibroids which pretty much put her in a constant menstrual cycle and left her tired and grouchy (but thankfully since she's started birth control her symptoms have gotten much better).

From my experiences with these family members, all that pain does is amplify the negative or prejudiced characteristics that already existed in the healthy person, but were kept at bay more easily before the illness got worse. When your body is in such a state to where you cannot even find one moment of relief or comfort, your brain is trying to direct all its energy to finding some kind of basic physical comfort instead of, say, filtering your less pleasant thoughts from being spoken aloud for fear of offending a close friend. My maternal grandmother and mother throughout their lives, were known for having shorter tempers and being prone to arguing, but not as much as they did once their illnesses started to ramp up. My paternal grandmother was actually quite levelheaded throughout her life. I can only remember her yelling one time, and that was because little 13 year old me was arguing with my mother and I deserved it. And throughout the course of her illness she actually wasn't combative in any sense. Really she would just forget what season it was, sometimes she would forget names or mix my name up with my cousins, which was more in line with the blunders she would make before she was sick.

And especially as a child dealing with my mother, her blowing up at me over little inconsequential things just because she was in pain still hurt me. A lot of the things she's said to me still affect me to this day as an adult, even though I know why she said things and that she probably wouldn't have been as harsh if her body was actually comfortable. But it doesn't make the trauma magically go away.

I don't think its out of the question that sepsis could be affecting Morg's brain. However, that's still not really a great excuse for the shit that he's said (ik you agree with me on this part so this isn't necessarily directed at you). It reminds me of how when Ye really started to get weird about Jewish people and even other Black people, his fans were so quick to try and blame his bigotries on his BPD. But uuuuh one of the symptoms of BPD is not naked antisemitism lmaooo. The state or episode that Ye was/is in probably lowered his ability to slow down and think about the consequences of what he wants to say, yes, but specifically what he says in regards to those groups is not a typical diagnostic criterion for BPD. I am of the belief that whatever Morg has said and continues to say about TFSD in regards to pup's identity has always been knocking around in there to some degree, in an unconscious way as most biases towards marginalized groups are. Its just that now since he's in pain, his brain does not care about filtering his words and what he wants to say.

My biggest issue with him is just the sheer entitlement he believes that he has to the Tumblr community. If we were all Morg's family or legal caretakers and had the responsibility of caring for him, there isn't really much we could do in the way of avoiding his transmisogynistic + exorsexist tirades. But considering that we're all internet strangers that are just usernames and a pfp, I really have no qualms with blocking him and he shouldn't either. We're not your friends, and we're not your family. No one on this website owes you a damn thing once you start acting ugly towards people. If community is so important to him and if the only way he can have that is through the internet, then he should make a discord or something where he can privately shit talk whomever he wishes with zero larger consequences from the public internet. Its not just the bigoted shit he's said, but also just how entitled he feels regarding the attention he receives.

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if not, then the best platonic duos in your opinion

Obligatory Akitoya mention I think that’s obvious but I’m also huge on ShihoSaki 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 they are just so sweetie to me. Not huge on any ships from MMJ (I’m not the target audience it’s okay)

I’m into polysho I can’t seem to settle on just one pairing. EmuNene is cute if I had to pick. And then MizuEna :)))))))))