#of knowing

If I were to ask to read a soft pain story, to live a soft pain story, to exist in a soft pain world, would you know what I mean?

Would you want to? No one likes pain. Soft pain doesn’t sound any better than what we have. What’s the different between pain and soft pain? Is there a hard pain?

Or do you understand what soft pain means? Do you understand the desire, the need to have soft pain? Do you understand the emotions that come with soft pain? When the Haiku bot responds not with an echo but with love? When a friend or ex moves on from you? The way it feels when a characters dies, but dies smiling and in love? Do you know what soft pain feels like? Do you know why I crave it?

Soft pain brings joy and smiles, tears and anguish. But it’s so much more than pain.

Soft pain is being rained on while walking home. Soft pain is missing the train and people watching to past the time. Soft pain is losing an award to your best friend. Soft pain is pain. But it’s so much more.

Soft pain is life. It’s how you live, how you die. It’s all the negatives of life, all the sobs yet all the smiles. Soft pain is not pain, because it’s so much more.

Or do you not understand what I’m saying? Soft pain is knowing that there are people who do not understand why I crave soft pain.

Because the world is so much more beautiful when I see the soft pain.

Because the world is beautiful.

Because the people are beautiful.

Yet I crave soft pain. Because I do not live in a world where the pain is soft.

I crave soft pain, because soft pain is not pain. It is not the pain I’ve lived my life in.

- Cassandra at the Wedding; Dorothy Baker