Summary: The CFD Christmas Party is happening tonight, but Matt has other plans for him and his wife.
Notes: This is for @fighterkimburgess One Chicago Secret Santa, which I am giving to @everythingaddictxx! Happy holidays, I hope you enjoy!
Updated Notes: When I drafted this, it was supposed to go out on December 10th. It instead went to my drafts and got lost! I’m so sorry and I hope you had a happy holidays!
Tagging: @specialagentsoftie @sylviebrettisaswiftie @hotchsbabygirl (Send me an ask or Click Here to Join My Taglist)
“Matt? You ready?” Sylvie asked, stepping out of the bedroom, the skirt of her dress whisking behind her. Her stilettos clicking against the hardwood floors.
Matt stood up from the couch, adjusting the cuff of his suit jacket. “Wow. You look- that dress- wow.”
“I’ll take that as a good thing?”
“Oh you better. You look hot in that dress.”
“Thank you,” Sylvie replied, Matt’s gratitude streaming across her face.
Sylvie grabbed her clutch from the counter “we better get going. Our night on the town awaits!”
Matt leaned over and kissed Sylvie’s forehead “Why don’t we just stay here?”
“Matt we have to go. It’s the CFD Christmas party.”
“I just want stay here with you in that dress,” Matt whined.
“It’ll be fun!”
“It’ll be more fun being here with you.”
“Fine, but we’re going to Kelly and Stella’s tomorrow for their Christmas party.”
“Deal.”
“So what should we do first?”
Matt leaned over and swept Sylvie off her feet.
“The bedroom awaits.”
Sylvie threw her head back laughing as her husband ran to bedroom.
Kissing on the bed, Sylvie kicked her shoes off, one hitting the door, resulting in a loud slam.
—
Laying her head on his shoulder, Sylvie looked up at Matt. “I’m glad we didn’t go to the party.”
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I’m just one person, but I’ve gotten in touch with everyone who I haven’t seen publish anything. Some folks have gotten back to me already and there’s been stuff going on, some haven’t. Once I have an accurate idea I’ll know who still needs to get their gifts.
What happens if you still haven't received your secret santa?
I’m gonna reach out to everyone tomorrow! I haven’t received mine either, so I know what it can be like to not get one. I wanted to give folks a week because of the time of year.
A late christmas present for @lady-rhaesnow as part of the One Chicago Secret Santa exchange! It ended up kind of Burzek + Makayla + family feels centric, but I hope you like it!!!
The organisers of Winterfest had more than outdone themselves this year, Kim couldn’t help but think as she paused in the entrance of the festival long enough to smile at Adam over the top of Makayla’s head. The eight year old was wriggling with excitement between them but given the size of the fast-moving crowd swarming around them, Kim and Adam were holding tight to her hands. Makayla kicked her feet out, swinging back and forth a little before practically dragging them forward.
“Let’s go, please,” she begged.
Kim and Adam chuckled indulgently, allowing themselves to be pulled forward into the crowd. It was Christmas Eve and Voight had specially arranged for the unit to have the night off, telling them to get out of the district and turn their phones off. So Kim and Adam had figured what better way to celebrate their time off than go to the festival that Makayla had been begging to go to for a week now but having been neck deep in a case they hadn’t had time to take her to.
“What should we do first, Mak?” Adam asked, dropping her hand briefly to ruffle her curls.
But she was too busy gazing around at the stalls lining both sides of the walkway, her face lit up with both awe and golden light as she took in each stalls’ wares, some laden down with tray after tray of sweet treats, while others were strung with glittering ornaments in deep reds and bright greens.
“Well,” Kim said, squeezing Makayla’s hand gently to draw her attention back to them. “I might have an idea.”
Makayla glanced up at her and even Adam was looking at her curiously, unsure what his partner was planning. Kim just grinned and winked at him before leading them through the people. Ignoring how his heart stuttered at her smile, Adam followed her, keeping Makayla between them.
Kim clearly had a plan because she didn’t hesitate as she navigated through the lanes of stalls, slipping through the crowd as they headed for their destination.
And then they saw it.
Strung with thousands of gold lights, the outdoor skating rink looked like a picture-perfect winter wonderland. Dotted with rugged up Chicagoans, their laughter and squeals of joy could just be heard over the sound of the carolers who were performing nearby.
“We’re going ice-skating?!” Makayla asked excitedly, and Kim smiled knowing she had never been.
“We certainly are.”
She led them over to rent some skates and the second Makayla was strapped in, she was off. One wouldn’t know that she’d never skated before just from looking at her, and her days of shyness were clearly long gone with the way she quickly joined a group of kids who were also skating.
Adam smiled watching her, pride swelling in his chest, before offering his hand to Kim so they could step out onto the ice together. Having played ice hockey all through his youth, and still part of a CPD league, Adam was much smoother than she was, but Kim held her own as they slowly circled the rink, the carolers song washing over them.
‘There can be miracles
When you believe
Though hope is frail, it’s hard to kill
Who knows what miracles you can achieve?
When you believe, somehow you will
You will, when you believe.’
Adam was uncharacteristically quiet as they listened to their beautiful voices singing in harmony, his eyes never leaving Makayla on the other side of the rink. Then he squeezed Kim’s hand and slid to a stop, slowing her with him.
“You’re my miracle,” he said to her earnestly, looking deep into her eyes. “You and Mak, you’re my miracle, my forever. All I need is my two girls.”
Kim reached up and touched his face tenderly. “And you’re our forever.”
Adam leaned down and touched his forehead gently to hers and Kim had to close her eyes against the sudden wave of emotion that took hold of her. She remembered that first year that she had Makayla without Adam, how hard it was, and even before Makyla, how lonely her life was. She never wanted to go back there. She never wanted to walk through life without the both of them by her side again.
“I love you, Adam Ruzek,” she whispered into the space between them.
“I love you, Kim Burgess.”
“Hey, what about me?”
Both their eyes fluttered open to see that Makayla was standing before them, hands planted on her hips with the kind of sass that promised an interesting teenagehood for Adam and Kim. Nevertheless they wasted no time in swooping down and smacking kisses on her cheeks loudly.
“Of course we love you, Makayla Ward Burgess,” they sung, laughing at her shrieks of laughter mixed with exasperation.
“Good, now come on!”
She held out her hands impatiently and Adam and Kim gladly took them. One day, sooner than either of them would like, Makayla would probably decide that she was too old to hold their hands like this, so they were going to savour every moment that she let them now.
The rest of the night passed in a perfect blend of lights, fun, and laughter. They met up with Jay and Hailey who delighted in buying Makayla every sweet treat she could possibly want, ran into Trudy and Mouch who insisted on buying her a bauble with her name written on it in glittering letters, and even managed to talk Kevin into getting his face painted with her. Kim wouldn’t soon forget the sight of her friend with a waving snowman on his cheek.
As it was, they were having so much fun that it was almost midnight before they left. Usually Makayla had a pretty strict bedtime, but Kim and Adam figured that it was one of the few nights of the year where it wouldn’t hurt for her to stay up longer. Never mind that she was so full of sugar that she was barely tired when they bundled her up in the car and headed home.
“Kim,” Makayla ventured cautiously when they were halfway there. “Adam.”
“Yeah, Mak?”
“Do we get to open a present tonight?”
Kim and Adam chuckled and exchanged a glance. “We usually save that for tomorrow morning.”
“Oh,” Makayla said in such a small voice, that Kim bit her lip and looked in the rearview mirror at Makyla.
“What is it, bud?”
“Well… it’s just that… before…”
Makayla trailed off, but neither Adam or Kim interrupted. It was unusual that Makayla mentioned her life before she came to live with Kim and they wanted to give her the space to talk about it.
“...before I came to live with you, we always used to open one present early before Santa delivered all the others. And I was wondering…”
“You want to do that?” Kim asked gently, and she just caught Makayla’s little nod in the rear view mirror. She and Adam looked at one another again.
“That sounds like a great idea to me,” Adam said enthusiastically, and Makayla’s blinding grin told them he’d said exactly the right thing.
“Would we get to pick our own presents? Or does one person pick for everyone?” Kim ventured cautiously, before continuing when Makayla didn’t answer, “Because I think I have the perfect present for you and Adam to open.” She thought about the two presents she’d wrapped earlier that very day, hidden at the back of her wardrobe.
Makayla perked up in the backseat, excited by the prospect. “You can pick,” she said immediately.
Kim laughed at her excitement, smile widening at Adam’s clear confusion. This was one present he didn’t know about yet.
Once they got home, Kim waited until she’d opened the beaded necklace Makayla had made for her and gushed over it an appropriate amount before settling both the eight year old and Adam on the lounge in preparation for their own present.
“Okay,” she said, once she’d retrieved the twin presents. “You have to open them together, alright?”
She waited for both of them to agree before handing them over, practically bouncing with excitement. In unison, the pair tore into the wrapping paper, and as she expected both of them pulled aside the top layer of cloth to uncover the photo frame with the black and white picture she’d placed within.
She saw the realisation cross Adam’s face first, the way he went completely still, before his head snapped up to look at her with tears already in his eyes. Makayla was more confused, frowning down at the picture for a moment, before looking at the shirt Kim had wrapped it in.
Adam surged off the lounge and pulled her towards him, spinning them both round and round as he said, “Are you serious?” over and over.
“Yes,” she breathed, taking his face in her hands and kissing him breathlessly. “I’m serious.”
He kissed her again and squeezed her even tighter to him, before they both looked over at Makayla.
“Can you read what it says?”
“‘I’m going to be a big sister’,” Makayla read slowly before her mouth fell open in surprise and she looked up at Kim. “You’re going to have a baby?”
“Yeah, I am.” Kim came over to crouch in front of Makayla so she could take her hands in her own.
“And the baby will be my little sister?”
“Or brother, but yeah. Is that okay?”
A smile, perhaps the biggest they’d ever seen from Makayla, lit up her face, and she launched forward to wrap her arms around Kim. Adam made a soft noise above them, and sunk down to wrap his arms around both of them. Kim rested her cheek against the top of Makayla’s head so she could look at Adam, who she could see was openly crying now.
“Our forever?” she whispered, and he leant forward to rest his forehead against hers.
Summary: Its Christmas Eve, and Kim Burgess is getting to do the thing she’s dreamed about for seven years. A OneChicago Secret Santa present for @gins-potter, who requested Burzek, fluff, wedding, and slow dances. So of course this happened.
Warnings: tooth rotting fluff
Words: 1.5k
—
As Kim stared around the room, she could barely believe it was happening. It was nearly time. Because in five minutes she was walking down the aisle on Kevin’s arm and marrying Adam Ruzek, close to a full decade after they’d originally planned it.
It had been full of stops and starts, of insecurities and unsure moments. Of losing their first child and almost losing their second, but being sure that they together could conquer it all. And they had.
Makayla came running in, the nine year old bouncing in place, her hair braided neatly and her yellow dress pristine. When Adam had proposed Kim knew immediately that their daughter was her maid of honour, and Makayla took great joy in the title. She had a bouquet of peonies in her hand, grinning at Kim.
“Santa’s gonna find us at the hotel tonight, right? He’s not gonna think I’m gonna be at home?” There was worry starting to show on her face, and Kim nodded.
“Santa knows exactly where you’ll be, don’t worry.”
Or rather, Kevin had her Santa gifts in his car and was sneaking them up to the suite with Jay and Hailey during the reception, ready for Makayla to see when she got up the next morning. Despite everything, she and Adam refused to let Christmas pass without Santa for their daughter.
“Are you ready? Adam looks sooooo handsome. And Uncle Kevin is just outside. We’ve gotta go!”
Kim stared at herself in the mirror, at the wide grin and dark curls staring back. She hadn’t expected it to be like this, that they’d marry in a church, but Adam had listened to her when she said she wanted the full event and had insisted that she got everything she could possibly want. Just another way he knew her heart so well.
“I’m ready. Are you?”
“Yup. And Adam gave me this for you!” She handed over a jewellery box, Kim opening it to find a thin silver bracelet. There was a note inside.
Kim,
I’m not good with emotions or saying things. But I love you, Darlin’. Thank you for marrying me, and I can’t wait to see you in your dress. This is just a little present for my almost wife.
Love,
Adam
She grinned even wider, her hand fixing it around her wrist and closing the clasp. But she was ready to go, picking up her own bouquet of roses and peonies and coming outside.
Kevin was escorting Kim and Makayla up the aisle, doing double duty in giving away one of his best friends and being the others best man. So instead of a procession it was the three of them together to the wedding march. Her friends and Adams were in the aisles, their unit sitting in the front row.
When she walked through the doors Adam turned to face them, his jaw dropping at the sight of Kim. Her dress was snow white, with a lace bodice and long skirts. The lace had beading that picked up the light, and her veil was the same lace as the bodice. When they reached the altar Makayla stood in her spot, taking Kim’s bouquet too. Kevin took his spot at Adam’s side, Kim holding his hand.
She didn’t remember a lot of her wedding ceremony, even though she’d been convinced she’d remember it forever. She knew that she couldn’t stop smiling, that the priest who’d baptised Adam talked about him as a child and how he’d always known what he wanted. But the one crystal clear memory was their vows.
“I promise to love you. I promise to put us first, before anything else. I promise that this family we’ve built is the most important thing in my life, and it’s always going to be. You are the other half of me, and it took us time to get here but I’ll never forget how much we deserve this. You’re the one. You’re the gold medal, and I’m forever on the hook for you.” She’d cried at the memory of giving back the ring now firmly on her finger as he spoke, the reminder that even when she gave up on them he never had. And she never could again.
“You are the best person I have ever known. You are a better man than you realise. You are honourable and loyal to a fault and caring and good. You love me and Makayla with everything you have and I can and will never doubt that. You’re the only person who would do what you’ve done. There is nobody else I want to live with. There’s nobody else I want to go through life with, because despite everything you have been the best part of my life. I love you and I’m proud to be your wife.”
“Do you, Adam Ruzek, take Kimberly Burgess to be your lawfully wedded wife?”
“I do.” Adam’s words were quick, he nearly tripped over them in his need to get them out.
“Do you, Kimberly Burgess, take Adam Ruzek to be your lawfully wedded husband?”
“I do.” Kim was just as sure, but slower.
“By the authority of our bishop, Francis our Pope, and the State of Illinois I pronounce you Mr and Mrs Adam Ruzek. You may kiss your bride.”
Kim grinned as Adam kissed her, chaste for them considering the surroundings. The church was filled with applause, and when he let her go she held her hand out for Makayla, the family making their way back down the aisle together to celebrate.
After photos outside in the snow, including one of their unit together and grinning, they made their way to the hotel for the reception. Adam had put his foot down about a crappy banquet hall, insisting that his girls deserved the best and a church hall wasn’t enough for them.
The reception was small, their friends and the small family they still stayed in touch with there. Kim saw Nicole talking with Adam’s sister, Sammy standing around looking bored before playing with Makayla. It was everyone they cared about, eating mediocre food but celebrating two people who after a decade were so in love and making it official.
When the meals were over Kevin stood to give his speech.
“It’s a weird day when you give your sister away to marry your brother. I’ve known Kim for twelve years, Adam for ten. She was the first partner in work who I trusted with my life, to come and spend time with my siblings. I’ve watched her help raise my brother and sister, and I’ve seen her step into her role as a mother with more grace and poise than anyone I know could. I’ve seen Adam grow from a new kid who didn’t know what he was doing to a dad. To a man who loves his girl and his daughter, who puts them first. The two of you have fought so hard to get here, and I’m so proud to see you here today. There’s no people who I can imagine deserving this more. So to Kim and Adam, I’m so proud of you both.”
Kim stood and hugged him, trying to stop herself from crying.
“Love you, Burgess,” Kevin murmured, and Kim grinned wetly at him.
“Love you too, Kev.”
They didn’t expect anything else, but Kevin handed his microphone over to Makayla who stood up, looking terrified but determined.
“Kim and Adam helped me when I was scared. When Kim got sick Adam made sure I knew, and he brought me to see her and told me what was happening. He buys us pancakes and helped when I spilled syrup. He came to school with me. And Kim helped me practice for friends, and makes sure I’m safe and watches my shows. They’re my best friends. And now I get to be with them and I’m really happy.”
It was Adam’s turn to tear up at that, reaching over and settling Makayla on his knee for a cuddle until they were shooed onto the dance floor for their first dance.
Neither of them liked being the centre of attention, it wasn’t a place they thrived in. But standing in her new husband’s arms, swaying to Marry Me by Train, Kim was enthralled. They were together and holding onto each other, making sure they stayed in time. Halfway through the dance Makayla made it onto the dance floor with them, the three of them holding onto each other as they danced.
“I love you,” Adam whispered to her as the song drew to a close, one arm around her waist and one on Mak’s shoulder.
“I love you too,” Kim replied, reaching up for a kiss that was as sweet as their words.
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This is my gif to @milfdeacon for the One Chicago secrent santa!! Honestly wlw ships are my jam regardless of whether they’re canon or not so it was so much fun to write. I hope you like it!!
Summary: Vanessa’s last night in Chicago rolls around just as a nasty thunderstorm hits, forcing Hailey and Vanessa to cut around the awkwardness and confront the building tension between them.
Words: ~4.3K
Warnings: very light smut, implied sex, mentions of child ab*se, astraphobia (fear of thunderstorms)
AO3 Link
•••
In the darkness, hidden in the thickness of the humidity, something is always brewing. Every summer, without fail, has proven to bring it. It starts with the tension in the air, then the heat quickly rises, dispersing electrons to build a current, and then boom! The first rumble of thunder comes. The flash of lightning follows in the blink of an eye. Maybe there’s rain, maybe there isn’t. Some summer storms vary. But always, always, always, there is thunder and lightning. Something is really enticing about it though, the way the tension and heat lead to this abrupt and extravagant roar, a show of sound and light that no one can ever really replicate.
Vanessa Rojas thinks there’s a metaphor somewhere in that.
It’s summer 2020. August 13th. The height of pandemic chaos, the hottest day of the year, and the last night she’ll ever spend in Chicago.
The St. Louis Police Department sent her an offer to run her own task force a month ago. In any other condition, Vanessa probably would have rejected the offer without hesitation. Everyone in Intelligence is her family now and she feels rooted in the connections she’s made with the people here. Only this offer was a great opportunity and, if she’s being honest, these last few months have really reminded her how short life can be. In the blink of an eye you could get hit by a bus or shot on the job or infected by some horrible disease. It’s all unknown to her, what’ll happen next in life. She thinks maybe she deserves to explore her options a little. She could never afford to do that before but she can now, so really, what’s stopping her?
It was a spur of the moment decision but once she accepted it, there was no going back. She never regretted it until she had to tell the unit. Voight’s reaction was supportive. Adam, Kim, and Jay were all thrilled for her. Kevin and Hailey, on the other hand, were the ones feeling the effects of it the most. She doesn’t blame them for it though. Even she herself didn’t know she’d be leaving. Their surprise must be ten times worse. Thankfully she’s managed to smooth it over with Kev but Hailey’s been reeling from it— from her— for the past two weeks.
That was why, when the weather forecast says there’s a thunderstorm in store for tonight, she was sort of thrilled. She’s got packing to do anyway (even though it’s considerably minimal packing) and a storm that’ll box them in and deter them from leaving the apartment means Hailey’s chances of saying no to helping Vanessa pack were slim to none. She accepted gracefully that morning and now, when the day borders on the evening and the sun has set, it gets blocked by clouds leaving a misty grey sky and a tense Hailey Upton. Vanessa’s least favourite Hailey— although, admittedly, she’d take any version of Hailey over anyone else any day.
“Thanks for helping me pack,” Vanessa tells her over the sound of pouring rain as they sift through the things in the kitchen trying to decipher which stuff belongs to Vanessa. They’re standing side by side, leaning against the counter as Vanessa shoves her spice rack in a box (and she gnaws at her lip when she sees Hailey labelled the habanero salt as “Roja-banero” which she thinks will always remain the lamest pun to ever exist). Her elbow bumps against Hailey’s as the spice rack falls into the box, and it sends a tingle up Vanessa’s spine.
“Yeah, no problem.” Then after a moment, Hailey adds in a softer voice without ever meeting Vanessa’s eye, “I still can’t believe you’re leaving.”
“It’s a great opportunity, Hails, you know that,” she refutes. “But you know I’m going to miss you.”
Hailey blinks a little at that. “You will?”
“Yeah, of course,” Vanessa assures. Was it not obvious just how fucking bad she’ll miss Hailey Upton? Was it not embarrassingly blatant? It’s… almost abnormal, the amount Vanessa’s going to miss waking up to share a coffee machine with her each morning, to shoot Hailey a playful wink at work and say “see you at home, roomie” like it’s an inside joke no one understands. “Why else do you think I’ve put off packing for so long?”
“I just thought you didn’t have much to pack,” she admits in her own defence.
“Also true. But it’s a hell of a lot more than what I had when I first moved in.”
Hailey lets out an amused snort at that. “Yeah, I remember you dragging that one duffle bag into our— my— apartment that day. Man, that feels like ages ago.”
The reminder that she’s moving is enough to make Vanessa wince with heartache, but she forces a half-assed smile anyway. “It does, yeah. I’ve got a lot of good memories here.”
There’s a moment where Vanessa becomes acutely aware of the fact that their hands are gripping onto the counter right next to each other— so close that they’re almost touching— and that from their pinkies to their elbows, their skin makes the gentlest contact. A familiar lump forms in Vanessa’s throat and her breath hitches.
“Well here, let’s make a toast then,” Hailey suggests, pulling away abruptly and moving far away to the other side of the island. She’s gunning for the whiskey though, Vanessa can already tell that. Hailey’s default whenever things get uncomfortable is to pull out the whiskey, frankly, and having your roommate move out is definitely uncomfortable for her. (Not that she’s an alcoholic, but it gives her something to do with her hands, Vanessa thinks.) So, Hailey goes on her tiptoes and finds the good stuff, pulling it down with a grunt and grabbing two glasses with it.
By the time she’s done pouring it in, Vanessa’s moved from the counter to the island. They’re still on opposite sides of it but she leans in so much that it feels like there’s a lot less space. “Cheers,” Hailey says while lifting her glass up, sliding Vanessa’s across the marble island, “to the memories we made here.”
“Cheers to that,” Vanessa echoes. She clinks her glass against Hailey’s and they both take a sip. Hailey’s eyes train on her as she takes her sip, and Vanessa’s sip becomes a lot bigger all of a sudden. The whiskey burns at her throat but it proves to be a useful distraction from whatever that charged, piercing look was.
Vanessa’s been getting a lot of those looks from Hailey shot her way recently. It started right around the time when she told her about the job offer, actually. And this energy that’s been building between them ever since has been nothing short of confusing and… kind of amazing? It sends a flutter in her stomach that’s addicting, even if she’s terrified of it because she knows soon it’ll just be one more thing to miss about Chicago.
But it’s like she said: the whiskey’s a good distraction.
“So I think we’ve packed everything you need,” Hailey tries conversing again after she takes a second sip, moving over to the couch and giving the living room a once over (checking for more stuff to pack, she thinks) before sitting down. “Well, it was nice knowing you.”
“Don’t be ridiculous,” Vanessa sorts as she plops down next to her on the couch and gives Hailey’s knee an affectionate pat. “I’m still going to talk to you. There’s texting and calling and facetime and all sorts of shit like that. And I’ll come and visit you guys come Christmas time. Trust me, you’re not getting rid of me that easily.”
“Good.” Hailey’s voice comes out raspy and quiet— and very uneven. It sends a chill down Vanessa’s spine. “I don’t want to get rid of you.”
Trying to keep her brain from short circuiting, Vanessa utters the only thing she can seem to think of. “I’m going to miss you so fucking much.”
This seems to do something to Hailey, because suddenly she’s squirming in her skin and trying to shift further away on the couch, leaving a good foot of space between her and Vanessa. Hailey just clears her throat awkwardly, takes another sip of whiskey, and finds anything to look at apart from Vanessa.
Did she do something wrong in admitting that? The fact that she’s leaving tomorrow has certainly given Vanessa the ability to be a little more… bold, in her feelings (feelings which, lately, have been anything but platonic) but she wouldn’t dare risk ruining the last night she’ll ever have with her best friend before leaving.
But oh God, did she just ruin it anyway?
“It’s raining.” Hailey suddenly points out. Her eyes are absently focused on the downpour outside the windows across from the couch, glossed over with something fearful that peaks Vanessa’s curiosity.
There are four windows, really: two outer windows that are merely windows, and two inner windows that are rather sliding glass doors that lead to a small balcony. Combined, it means the view of the city from the couch is wide and unobstructed. It’s beautiful in the mornings when the blue sky and the natural sunlight sink in to light up the place, but on days like these with a storm as bad as this, the trail the lightning makes in the sky is clear as day. In a matter of seconds, Hailey manages to look at the hot, heavy rain through all four windows, her eyes never once needing to blink.
“Yeah,” Vanessa replies hesitantly. “It’s coming down pretty hard.”
At that moment, a big and sudden rumble of thunder decides to go off. Hailey flinches, practically jumps out of her skin as she holds her breath and grabs onto Vanessa’s hand out of instinct.
“Sorry,” she whispers after the thunder ceases, still sounding like she’s holding her breath. “I hate storms. The flashing and the loud noises, it makes me feel like I’m six again and running from my dad; running from the one thing I can’t control. It’s… I just really fucking hate thunder.”
Oh shit.
Hailey’s mentioned her father before and all of the torrent abuse he inflicted on their family. It never dawned on her that loud noises like this could affect someone as tough as Hailey Upton. In all fairness, you can duck and hide from gunshots, and perps can be caught and arrested. There’s no defending against a storm, though. Once it comes, it comes, and there’s no escaping it. Hailey probably hasn’t felt like that in a while. Vanessa wishes she could have protected Hailey from her father but if the only thing she can do right now is to help talk her through this torrential downpour, then she’ll do it with all her might.
Hailey moves to let go of her hand, but Vanessa squeezes back even tighter so that their hands stay intertwined. “It’s okay,” she assures the blonde, her thumb rubbing gently at Hailey’s hand. “I get it. But I’m right here. My plane doesn’t leave until tomorrow morning, which means I can stay here and I’ll be by your side the whole night”
“I don’t need a babysitter,” Hailey tries playing tough. “I’ll be fine.”
“What’d I say about not being ridiculous? Huh?” She arches her brow at Hailey, who takes the hint and sighs.
“Fine, okay. Thank you,” she adds, a small smile creeping on her face. They’re still holding hands, Vanessa realizes. It makes her stomach feel like shoes in a washing machine.
“No problem, roomie. The forecast said it’ll get bad though so we should make sure to prepare for if the next hot flash causes a power outa—” Halfway through her sentence, the second flash of lightning comes and the lights start flickering. For a moment, they both hang in the silence watching the lightning, but then gust of wind and rain hits the side of their apartment building especially hard and the lights start flickering… flickering… flickering….
And then boom. The thunder rumbles as the power craps out.
“Shit,” Vanessa curses under her breath.
“The candles are--”
“Second shelf from the bottom,” she finishes, “I know.”
The reminder of how familiar they are with each other and sharing a space is nothing new but only this time does it make her heart crawl into her throat. Although lately, if Vanessa’s being honest, moments like these have been happening way more often. It’s gotten to the point where her heart is practically living in her throat, taking refuge from the rest of her body and making her speechless.
She shakes that feeling off though— or tries to with all her might— and then gets up to grab some candles. Absently pulling a few out of the drawer with a matchbox, she lights them and brings them over to the couch. There’s a coffee table on the left side where Hailey’s sitting, and another one on the right, so she places one on each. For the right side, the firewood candle Kim and Adam had bought her as a going away present, and for the left side coffee table, the honey and thyme candle. It’s Hailey’s favourite; the closest-smelling thing she’ll ever have to Greece.
When the candles are all lit and placed, Vanessa finds her way back to her spot on the couch again. Her hand absently finds Hailey’s and her nose gets filled with the scents of the candles almost instantly. It’s a perfect combo, funnily enough.
Not to mention that Jesus, Hailey Upton under dim light looks like a fucking goddess.
Hailey manages to speak though, musters a small smile and replies, “What are you going to do when you’re in a new place and can’t find the candles?”
“Well I’ll just put them in the second shelf from the bottom in whatever new place I have,” she shrugs. “Just like you do. And then whenever I reach for them, it’ll be like I’m taking a tiny piece of this place with me.”
Hailey blinks at that. Once, then twice, then about half a dozen times much more rapidly. Jesus. This night has been nothing short of awkward, Vanessa thinks. First, the storm freaks Hailey out. Then she has to go and say something just a little too bold, and then she has the audacity to do it again? And freak Hailey out even more? God, what a wreck. Leaving Chicago really is doing a number on her.
Only Vanessa’s starting to think it’s not merely the act of leaving that’s doing this to her. It’s leaving Hailey.
Before Vanessa can say anything about it, however, she’s interrupted by Hailey.
Hailey’s who’s lunging forward. Hailey, who’s cupping Vanessa’s face with her hands. Hailey, who’s now kissing her with sweet, determined lips like there’s no tomorrow.
Because there isn’t. Not for them, at least. And that thought alone makes Vanessa pull away instantly (no matter how blissful and insanely amazing the kiss was). “Woah woah woah,” she stammers quietly, the rain still beating down against the windows. Her lips feel numb from the kiss in all the right ways. “What was that for?”
“Because I felt like it,” Hailey tells her simply, still nervous and rambling. “Because you let me hold your hand through this storm, because you knew where the candles were, because I’ve had a glass of whiskey, because I may never see you again, because you said you missed me— twice, actually. And because… because I never said it back.”
And holy shit, each word washes over Vanessa until she’s drowning in Hailey’s voice.
She feels the same way? The realization comes as a shock. As a detective, it probably shouldn’t have taken getting kissed to figure that out but alas, they’re here. Now. In this moment. And Vanessa’s joy, though comparable to taking ecstasy, is overthrown by the fact that she has boxes packed in the kitchen and bags packed in her room. She’s leaving tomorrow, which means she has no idea what to do. Will taking this step only once make things even worse? Will the pain of leaving be even worse? Does she care?
Maybe she doesn’t.
There’s a deafening, thick moment of silence where Vanessa swears her brain is on fire. The rain keeps beating down outside, the AC blasting out any hot August air. For a moment, everything is still and frozen except for the rain. It’s like the storm outside is now in her heart though. There’s tension, humidity, bubbling up in the space between them and accumulating in the air.
Something has to break it. Something has to crack. Hailey’s made her move though, so now, maybe… it’s time to make hers.
“You didn’t have to,” she replies gently.
Just like that, the stalemate is broken. All that cumulative density and anticipation gather like particles in the air until the pathway is found a crack! The next flash of thunder makes its way through the sky right as Vanessa leans in and kisses Hailey back. She can feel Hailey smiling into the kiss but only responds by pushing her lips further onto her.
“I’m still”— she tries uttering between kisses— “leaving”— Hailey slips her tongue into her mouth— “tomorrow.”
“I know,” Hailey whispers, pulling back for a second to meet Vanessa’s eye. It’s the first time tonight that she doesn’t look nervous or hesitant. There’s just something fierce and beautiful in those big blue eyes, something that makes Vanessa’s whole world quake with affection. Her soft hands cup Vanessa’s face and her thumbs stroke gently at her cheeks. It’s like she said before. Whole. World. Quaking. “But we’ll always have tonight then. Are you okay with that?”
Vanessa’s more than okay with it. In fact, she’s never been more okay with something her entire life. It means she doesn’t have to wait a second before delivering her answer. “I’d rather have one night with you than a hundred with anyone else.”
Hailey beams at that. Like, practically glows with joy in a way Vanessa’s never seen. They both lean back into the kiss, lips and tongues more gentle and relentless as ever. Thunder booms throughout the sky again and Hailey flinches a second time, but Vanessa’s hands find her waist and hold her— not too tight that she’s scared, but firm enough so that the pressure keeps her in Vanessa’s embrace.
Hailey’s lips are softer than she’d imagined (several times, admittedly) but Hailey herself is still commanding. The fear from the storm raging outside in the hot summer air is now gone, replaced with something equally hot, equally heavy, and even more exhilarating. It makes it so that Vanessa finds herself sliding back onto the couch, letting Hailey position herself on top of her. Thunder booms again. This time, with Vanessa under her, Hailey doesn’t flinch.
“Shirt,” Hailey orders in a mumble, already pulling at Vanessa’s black tank top. It comes off in an instant, the two of them tearing it off eagerly as Hailey’s lips place a trail of kisses from her lips to her jawline, to her neck, to her collarbone, all the way down to her barely covered chest.
Barely covered soon becomes not covered at all. Hailey takes her flannel off just before unhooking Vanessa’s bra in one fell swoop. And the amount of skin that’s pressed together, kissed, licked, teased, prodded, milked for all its worth after that is unbearably intense. It sends her body on fire, so much so that Vanessa thinks for a second the walls of this apartment were useless against the storm and she’s actually been struck by fucking lightning. A moan slips out of her mouth into Hailey’s ear, which breeds a positive reaction and a moan of her own.
Some strange and primal instinct takes over and Vanessa starts scratching Hailey’s back, stroking, kissing her neck, running her hands through her blonde hair. It’s all a blur; a perfect mixture between gentle and rough, soft yet hard, fast and slow, all of which is a total haze to her.
Hailey’s hands slip down to Vanessa’s jeans and work at the button. When it pops open, she pulls back to give Vanessa a look as if to say “Are you sure?” It’s wordless, but Vanessa just… understands. She understands it in the same way she understands that Hailey always puts her toothbrush in the same placeholder each time, that she puts her bread through the toaster twice when making toast, or how she’ll steal Vanessa’s socks out of the laundry when her feet get cold but never admit to it because being cold is a “coward’s move” according to her (which never fails to make Vanessa laugh). In all of this, she’s never once questioned it. These little quirks that make up their days have simply become the way life has been.
That’s why, without Hailey needing to say a word, Vanessa gives her a small nod of consent and whispers, “One more night. Give me everything you’ve got. I want it all. I want… I want you.”
And Hailey does exactly what she’s told— eagerly, exceptionally, and with determination.
They never make it back to the bed, spending the rest of the night surrounded by lightning, thunder, and the vague scent of firewood and thyme as their fingers take turns practicing deep strokes, hair tangled together, with lips that never leave each other.
****
When Vanessa wakes up the next morning, they’re still on the couch. The sky is blue once again and the storm is gone. Both she and Hailey are still bare, skin sweaty and sticking together while they’re curled up on the couch. The clothes she tore off last night are now the only things she hasn’t packed yet, she realizes.
A part of her considers staying there. God knows the temptation to fall asleep again and pretend this amazing job offer doesn’t exist is real, that she does wish she could just pull Hailey closer and forget about the world. But this isn’t a dream, this is real life. And in the real world, she has a plane to catch. One that leaves in… shit, what time is it?
Hailey’s still asleep but Vanessa manages to manoeuvre herself off the couch anyway, reaching for her phone next to the two emptied glasses of whiskey on the island in the kitchen. Something about walking around in the apartment naked feels weirdly normal but she can’t bring herself to pick up her tank top and jeans. All she does is open her phone, stub her toe walking up to the island, and curse under her breath when she realizes she has an hour to get to the airport.
Ugh. She’s going to have to do it: the “leaving with no goodbye” act. She hates this. She wishes they had more time but then again, last night was nothing short of perfect. If that’s all she ever gets, she’ll still die a happy woman. (Besides, waking Hailey Upton up before 8:00 is asking for a death wish.)
She grabs her phone and starts to head back to her room, but stops at the couch and looks out at the view. Through the sliding glass doors and the windows, she can see the clear sky and can hear the birds chirping. Hell, there’s even the faint trace of a rainbow peeking through. What a miracle. What a tragedy she can’t show it to Hailey.
She stands there for a while, looking out at the city and memorizing every piece of it. God, she loved this place. She loved every minute of it, every friend made along the way, every case and every trip to Molly’s. Mostly, she loved seeing this city here, through these windows. Through Hailey’s eyes. She needs to leave though. It’s better off this way. It simply has to be.
But then why can’t she pick her clothes up off the ground?
In the end, she just unzips her suitcase in her room and grabs a quick outfit to throw on. At least that way, Hailey will have something to remember her by. A momento, she supposes.
With her boxes under one arm and her suitcase wheeling behind her, she tiptoes her way through the apartment before gently letting the door click shut behind her. The trip to the airport is silent and heavy and all around awful. She boards the plane, and the guy next to her starts listening to a true crime podcast way too loudly. Vanessa swears she hears Hailey’s voice whispering in her ear, making a crack about how this guy couldn’t tell a real murder suspect from his ass. The plane is cold and the sky's still blue. She wishes it were raining again.
Before liftoff, she pulls out her phone. Hailey will probably be awake by now, cursing Vanessa’s name for not saying goodbye and wondering why her clothes from last night are still on the ground. She wants to say something. Text a funny joke, a thank you, a flirty remark about the great sex. But she just… doesn’t know what to say.
Her window seat looks out on the landing strip, her eyes absently counting clouds as the flight attendant goes through the airline safety guides. It then dawns on her what to say.
Her thumbs type a slow message, hitting send just before takeoff and using up the last bit of wifi she’ll have for the next hour and twenty minutes.
Message to Hailey Upton - 7:43am
See? Thunderstorms aren’t so scary.
Miss you already, roomie. I’ll call you when I land.
She doesn’t need a response. Regardless of what Hailey sends, regardless of what happens, she knows they’ll always have that hot August night surrounded by a storm.
People just need to post their fics/art! Everyone was sent out their person in November, so folks are creating at the moment.
I know I'm expecting to put mine out in a week or so, I'm super excited and hope the recipient enjoys it! Everything will be reblogged over at @onechicagosecretsanta
omg can we participate in one chicago secret santa but like through anon? in ur ask box? cause i don’t post on my tumblr/typically write but i want to cause it’d be so fun. also does ur san diego series have physical domestic violence? because that’s a little much for me but if it’s emotional i might be able to read cause i rly want to
Hey!
So I’m going to be doing a big post about it on the blog @onechicagosecretsanta (gonna work out how to get it to link there!) about what to do, but the blog was literally just set up so it’ll take a little bit of time. There’ll be ways to do it through AO3 or Tumblr, or if you decide you want to do it anonymously we can work that out too!
For San Diego Song - there’s very mild physical abuse. I’m aware that’s a little weird, but in context it’s actions that Kim doesn’t realise are physical abuse, she thinks it’s accidents. There’s no hitting or slapping or punching or anything like that, it’s hard grabs and that kind of thing.
There is emotional and financial abuse, as well as gaslighting. The only chapter with the depictions of Kim’s abuse in it is chapter one, and if you’d like a TLDR of what happens in that, feel free to send me a DM and I can explain the plot points you’ll miss. Otherwise, you could start at Trudy’s chapter and it wouldn’t be too confusing.
