when i was younger i had insane religious compulsions/thoughts (using the term 'compulsion' in the general sense here.) like get up in the middle of the night to pray or i'll accidentally kill everyone type of compulsions. it was bad to the point where i'd cry. couple of years later i developed this fantasy in my head that there was this seed (it sounds weird, bear with me) and if i didn't imagine myself watering it putting it in soil giving it sunlight every day then it would die and so would i and everyone i cared about. i had to be outside for anything i imagined doing to the seed to 'count' and i ended up leaving class multiple times saying 'i have to get water' as an excuse so i could stand outside so the deed would 'count'. later that same year i had something of an existential crisis and started crying to my mom because 'what if you're an npc. what if none of this is real'

these three experiences. sucked. immensely. crying-thinking-im-going-crazy level of sucked. i was a preteen.

also since COVID, i've washed hands obsessively. i do it less so now and more out of habit than actual fear of contamination but it does make my hands crack and bleed. sometimes i do feel nervous like i haven't washed hands enough even though logically i know i probably have.