#ny2019

My mom can never trust herself with a map. She’ll never get the chance to get good at her directions if she never starts believing in herself. Ugh, don’t look at me like that. I know what I said.

The subway was expectedly plain. It felt like what a subway was supposed to feel like. It was an internal organ of the living body called New York City, stemmed around underground like veins -- full of people, conversations, music...

...and smart advertising.

Sometimes I look at my mom and she looks like she’s about to cry. I know she wouldn’t ever cry in front of us like she did way back when (2007?) That’s another story, but the bottomline is that I cann only imagine what sorrow she hides from us. I love my dad but I don’t want hy future husband to have the kind of essence she has with my mom. I hurt for her, and she doesn’t talk about it just as much as he doesn’t that at the end of the day, I don’t know what to feel. I love them both, but I just wish they love each other like they used to show.

Okay so the whole time we were walking in Central Park, I tried looking for the big rocks the Ponds and the Eleventh Doctor stayed on when they were having a picnic in The Angels Take Manhattan. I gave up too early upon finding out that Central Park is filled with giant rocks, and each clump was so equally presentable that I settled for the nearest one. At least it was the same park, right? 

We had some Chinese food on our walk from Central Park to Times Square. Everything was expensive. Let’s stop being surprised.