#nuny

Maybe it was why he didn’t blame himself when his heart seized up as he caught sight of Jackson, shaking hands with that kind smile of his and getting ever closer. But he wanted to be good. He wanted to be good for Jackson. He wanted to be kind and happy for him. The crowd was still roaring, and some of the Canadians were doing a bad job at wiping the smiles off of their faces at the sound.

Evgeni was still breathing hard, sweat stinging his eyes. It made him look down, blink briefly, and when he looked up again, it was at Jackson and pale blue.

“Kuns,” Jackson began softly, and Evgeni grabbed his hand, more squeezed it than shook it, and pushed away, head ducked once again.

His flight was tomorrow evening. He was supposed to be going home, supposed to be spending time with his parents, his sister. He wanted to. He didn’t get to see them nearly enough, especially not Ksenia, who usually spent her summers traveling, while Evgeni finally stopped traveling. He missed her.

He was half-heartedly throwing his clothes into his suitcase when the knock on his door came. He just stood for a moment, holding a shirt that he was pretty sure was Jackson’s, and closed his eyes. He needed to be alone right now, probably. He felt on edge and mean. He’d all but snapped at Vlad, his roommate, earlier. He was supposed to be going home, to his family he missed terribly, and so why did absolutely all of him want it to be Jackson on the other side of that door, offering to take him back to Gryffindor and their snug apartment?

A second knock, followed by a soft and familiar, “Kuns?”

A third knock. “I know you’re in there, I ran into Vlad in the lobby.”

Evgeni grit his teeth and yanked the door open.

“Should be celebrate,” Evgeni said, and decided he wasn’t going to be able to make Jackson leave, so he turned back to his suitcase.

“I…yeah,” Jackson said. Jackson entered the room almost timidly, leaning back against the door when it fell shut. “What about you? I saw Pavel and some of the others in the lobby—”

“Sad drinking,” Evgeni said. “Head hurts already. Don’t need.”

“Right,” Jackson said. “But, like…you shouldn’t be alone. I mean, unless you want…do you want me to leave?”

“Nado, should be with teammates,” Evgeni said as he tossed his dirty socks in with his clean ones. “I’m not fun. Not right now.”

He didn’t ever want to be anything other than good good good for Jackson, and the frustration eating at him was a snarling bite in each of his words.

“Kuns,” Jackson sighed, hand slapping against his thigh in the way it did when he was annoyed. “You can’t—you can’t be mad at me.”

“Not mad,” Evgeni balled up another t-shirt. “Sad for me. What you want, Nado? I smile at you, so happy, thanks for loss?”

“No,” Jackson fired back, and his lips, already thin, were pressed even thinner. “No, just—but—you barely even looked at me.” 

Evgeni tried to ignore the pang in his chest. He knew that.

Jackson’s next words came out even softer. “You won’t even look at me now.”

Jackson let the flap of his suitcase whip closed and turned sharply on Jackson.

“Okay. I’m look now,” Evgeni said, crossing his arms. “What?”

Jackson had half of one expression on his face, and half of another. They were blended and dropped too quickly for Evgeni to really be able to make sense of either of them.

“Stop,” Jackson said, and reached forward to tug at Evgeni’s crossed arms. “Stop, just—Kuns, come on. I hate this.”

“No bossy, not right now,” Evgeni was surprised to find his voice hoarse, throat thick. “Just sad, you not help.”

“Yes, I do,” Jackson said firmly, because of course he knew that. Of course he just had to look at Evgeni like that, like—like—

“Fuck the gold, fuck the silver,” Jackson said, and Evgeni finally gave in and dropped his arms.

“You win gold,” Evgeni said. He felt miserable. “Not let me make a bad night, Jackson. You come on.” Evgeni nodded towards the door. “Go. Celebrate.”

Jackson shook his head. “I can’t. Not with you all alone up here. Come on, let’s go to dinner, yeah?”

Evgeni shook his head, and placed his hand on Jackson’s which was holding his arm still. “No.”

“Why not?” Jackson pushed a little closer.

“Because deserve to be with team,” Evgeni felt some of his frustration crumble, just a little. A riverbank only beginning to taste water. He pressed a warm palm to Jackson’s cheek, thumb rubbing over his scar. “Okay? I’m know how to lose. Do it many times.”

Jackson’s face showed that he knew he should go. He should be with his teammates. They were probably already at wherever they were celebrating. It was just like Jackson to stay behind to check on Evgeni.

“Wish I smile, say something in the line,” Evgeni admitted. “Bad teammate. I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry,” Jackson sighed, leaning into Evgeni’s palm. “I shouldn’t have made you feel like you couldn’t be upset.”

“You don’t,” Evgeni said and, heart beating faster as it always did when they kissed—it wasn’t so regular yet that it didn’t still feel new each time—he pressed his lips to the corner of Jackson’s mouth quickly.

“Come back after,” Evgeni said. “I don’t care if you wake me up.”

Jackson bit his lip for a moment, and then pressed up on his toes and kissed Evgeni full on the mouth. He looked flushed with it, even just the sparse moment of it, and he reached out to touch the heavy golden pendants Evgeni wore around his neck.

“Okay,” Jackson smiled. “Okay. See you later, then. Yeah?”

Evgeni gave him a playful shove towards the door, kissed-smile on his own mouth. “Go. I want sleep.”

He should’ve known something was up when Zhenya was already gone when he woke up. Jackson was always the first one up, especially if it was one of their off days. There was usually a fight to get Evgeni to actually remove himself from their nest of blankets and pillows.

But today.

Today, the bed was empty of his sleepy boyfriend, and the house was quiet with just a text of “good morning! doing errand, be back soon. love you always.”

Jackson was automatically suspicious because what errand did he have to do on a Saturday morning? The text was unnecessarily vague, which didn’t help his suspicions. How did Evgeni even get up without waking him? Well, there was nothing to do about it now.

With a heavy sigh, he managed to drag himself out of bed in the hopes of finding something for breakfast.

Just as he finished scrambling his eggs, he heard the front door open. Jackson turned off the burner before heading into the living room, questions dying on his lips as he saw his boyfriend, frozen in the hall.

Jackson crossed his arms, leaning in the doorway of the kitchen, “Whatcha got there, Zhenya?”

Shuffling his feet a bit anxiously, Evgeni shrugged, “Coffee. From place you like down the street,” He said, holding the cup out to his boyfriend with his free hand.

Jackson raised an eyebrow as he took the cup, only because it looked like it may fall, “Yeah.. that’s not what I was talking about and you know it.” He set the cup on one of the side tables before taking what had to be one of the biggest puppies he had ever seen out from under Evgeni’s other arm.

“O-Oh, you mean Moose.”

Unable to hold back his laugh, Jackson sat on the floor with the now flailing pup as he tried to lick at the man’s face, “Yes, babe. I’m talking about Moose. And don’t think I don’t see the other one behind you. Evgeni! I thought we were going to wait until the end of the season before we even thought about getting a dog. Or dogs, should I say.”

Evgeni turned, picking up the other pup who was just a little bit smaller than the one crowding Jackson’s lap, “I know, but look! I get email from humane society about puppies, can’t not look. I see Moose and Poe on page, brothers 6 months old. Look how cute!” He said, pressing a kiss to the top of Poe’s head, the pup nuzzling into Evgeni’s neck.

“Of course, they’re very cute, Zhenya. They’re puppies!” Jackson said, unable to say no to the persistent Moose pushing his head at his hand for more scritches.

As he sat down on their hallway floor, Evgeni pulled Poe into his lap, “I know but I go there after practice one day when you train longer with Cap to meet them. And they curl up so nice in my lap, just cuddle me. How can I say no to these faces, Jackson? How can I not bring them to you? You tell me that.”

Jackson shook his head, “They’re going to get so big, Z. Great Danes are huge dogs. I already barely have any room on our bed as it is with you.”

“They have their own beds, big beds. And already potty trained! We keep them please?” Evgeni asked, his lower lip pushed out in a pout.

How was he supposed to say no with three pairs of puppy dog eyes looking at him?

Jackson let out a sigh, hugging Moose to his chest, “Well I suppose we have the room… and we were planning to get a dog anyway so-” Before he could finish his sentence, he was tackled, not only by the pups but by his boyfriend.

“Thank you, thank you, thank youuuu! Love you so much! Knew you’d say yes, got all the supplies in the car.” Evgeni smiled, the grin was so big it looked like it probably hurt his face.

Yeah, there was no way Jackson could’ve said no. He would do absolutely anything to see that smile on his boyfriend’s face.

An embarrassed flush spread over Jackson’s face even as he tried to laugh it off. “What? No I’m not,” he scoffed, crossing his arms. All Pascal did was raise an eyebrow, a grin still annoyingly visible through the beard. “I’m not,” Jackson added, smiling a little despite himself.

Pascal gave a noncommittal hum, turning his gaze to the makeshift set in front of them. “What are your holiday plans?” he asked, seemingly changing the subject. “Going anywhere?”

“Yep,” Jackson said, some of the color leaving his cheeks and his shoulders relaxing. “Canada-bound tomorrow.” Though you’d never know it looking at his and Evgeni’s apartment—not a suitcase in sight. Jackson wasn’t even 100% sure he’d checked into his flight yet.

“Home sweet home,” Pascal said, and Jackson just blinked at him for a moment because what came to mind when he heard home wasn’t his parents’ place in Victoria. It was the couch that was just barely large enough for Evgeni’s never-ending legs when he sprawled out next to Jackson during a movie. It was the fridge full of protein shakes and takeout containers. It was his rarely made bed next door to Evgeni’s neatly made one, used less and less often as the weeks went on and Jackson lost motivation to leave Evgeni’s room after a hookup.

“Mm,” Jackson finally said in vague agreement, eyes wandering to Kuny’s broad back for a moment. He saw Sergei, dressed as Frosty, say something to Evgeni that made him throw his head back and laugh that deep, rumbling laugh that made Jackson’s heart flip.

“Of course, Gryffindor is also nice this time of year.” His eyes met Pascal’s, who was already looking at him with a disconcertingly knowing grin. “A beautiful city to spend Christmas in with loved ones, non?”

Jackson narrowed his eyes. “What are you saying, Santa?”

Pascal shrugged. “Nothing, nothing at all,” he said, feigning innocence. “Just that, if you were to spend your week off here, that wouldn’t be so bad. Kuny isn’t going back to Russia until summer, right?”

“Right,” Jackson said slowly, ignoring the way his heart leapt at the idea. “But I already have plans.”

“Well,” Pascal said, giving another shrug, “I’m sure your parents would understand if you didn’t want to fly all the way there with a case of the flu.”

“I don’t have the—”

“Dumo Claus! We need you on set!” Marlene called with a wave. Sirius and Logan were already squeezed together in the back of the sleigh.

“Ouais, alright!” Pascal called back. He gave Jackson a wink over the brim of his half-moon glasses before heading off in their direction.

Jackson spent the rest of the shoot trying to ignore the temptation to fake an illness, cancel his flight, and spend the entire break with Evgeni. But now that Pascal had suggested it, it was impossible to forget. It was as though hearing it out loud gave Jackson’s heart some tacit permission to feel how much he wanted it, and now his desire was blooming in his chest, growing stronger by the minute.

He looked down at his phone and opened the airline’s app; his plane was already delayed by an hour. Taking it as a sign, he clicked the phone off and shoved it back into his pocket, ignoring the ‘check into flight’ option on the screen.

He wished his teammates happy holidays as costumes were shed and everyone grabbed their things to leave. Soon enough, he found himself standing next to Evgeni, who was back in his Lions hoodie and a pair of dark-wash jeans that were secretly Jackson’s favorite on him, hugging his strong thighs just enough to make Jackson want to peel them off.

“Good job today,” Evegeni said, sending Jackson a lopsided grin as he bent to pick up his duffel bag.

Jackson raised an eyebrow. “Really?”

Evgeni laughed at that, shaking his head without a moment’s hesitation. “No. Your acting is shit.”

Jackson punched his shoulder. “Your acting is shit,” he said, smiling. “At least our hockey is good.”

Evgeni hummed, waiting for Jackson to fish his car keys out of his coat before falling into step beside him as they headed for the arena’s parking garage. Jackson would drive home alone to scrounge some leftovers and pack while Evgeni went out with a few of the boys for a late dinner, then they’d say goodbye in the morning before Jackson drove to the airport. That was the plan. Had been the plan.

“Miss hockey when we on break, you know?” Evgeni mused aloud. He was walking so close to Jackson that their shoulders were almost brushing as they moved. Then he shot Jackson a sidelong glance and a smile that was a little bit sad. “Miss you, too, a bit.”

The plan was set. It was a fine plan.

Jackson’s heart sped up. “A bit?”

Evgeni’s smile turned wry. “A lot.”

Screw the plan.

They reached Jackson’s car, both of them lingering by the driver’s side door. Evgeni blew out a breath, a puff of white visible in the cold air between them. “Hey, look,” he said, looking off to the side where the garage opened to the outside world. “Snow.”

Jackson watched, too, as the white flakes fell steadily from the blue-black evening sky, just starting to thinly coat the street. “Kuns,” he heard himself say.

Evgeni turned back to look at him. The tip of his nose was just a little pink, though he always insisted that as a Russian native, he was impervious to the cold. The urge to kiss it welled up in Jackson like a tidal wave. He shoved his hands into his coat pockets instead.

When he didn’t say anything for a moment, Evgeni tilted his head. “Okay?”

“Yeah. I just…” Jackson met Evgeni’s eyes, a smile forming automatically. “I don’t—I’m not going to Canada for Christmas.”

Evgeni looked at him with confusion written on his face. “No?”

“No.” Jackson’s throat felt dry all of a sudden. “My family will see me in the summer, it’s fine. I want to stay here. With you. Like…together.” He scrubbed a hand over his red face. “Okay, say something, or I’m just going to keep embarrassing myself.”

When he looked back up, Evgeni was beaming. “Yes?” he said, stepping in close and bringing a hand up to Jackson’s cheek. Jackson could feel the heat radiating off his body, could hear that his breathing had sped up. “You want?”

Jackson leaned into the touch. “I really do. Do you?”

Evgeni spared a quick glance around the garage, then leaned down and kissed him hard. “So much,” he murmured, still smiling at Jackson like they’d just won another championship. “You want from now on, yes? To be boyfriends?”

“Yeah,” Jackson laughed, pulling him into a hug. “Thanks for saying it. Apparently my confessions are shit, like my acting.”

Evgeni pressed a kiss to his temple before they broke apart. “Not that bad, maybe,” he teased, “But worse than your hockey for sure.”

“Jackson,” he tried again, shaking him with a bit more force this time. Jackson began to stir, lifting his face from where it was smushed against the pillow.

“What?” He asked, voice still groggy with sleep. Evgeni smiled.

“May the fourth be with you,” he giggled.

“I love you, but it is,” Jackson pushed up so that he could see the clock that was on the bedside table by Evgeni, “half past five in the morning. Tell me this in a few hours.” He flopped back down and fell back asleep.

Evgeni pouted slightly, upset that his boyfriend wasn’t as excited about this monumental holiday as he was. He lay there for a while, unable to get back to sleep so he woke up and trotted downstairs.

Jackson woke up a couple of hours later to an empty bed. Whilst he knew he slept better than Evgeni, Evgeni would usually stay in bed until he started to stir. He sat up, stretching his arms over his head, back cracking like a glow stick.

Faint music could be heard from downstairs. Jackson strained his ears a little more to try and make out the music.

“Is that...” Jackson climbed out of bed, pulling on bottoms and one of Evgeni’s jumpers and made his way downstairs. He could only laugh at what he was met with.

Sure enough, Princess Leia’s Theme was playing, which only meant that Evgeni was working his way through his Star Wars playlist. He could smell the faint smell of waffles coming through from the kitchen and allowed his nose to lead him through.

He let out a hearty laugh, and had to rest his hands on his knees to stop himself from falling over.

Evgeni was stood there in front of the waffle machine, waffle batter all over him and his Wookie apron.

“What the-“

Evgeni looked up at him with puppy dog eyes.

“They went wrong. I not know how,” he confessed, shrugging his shoulders and hands up, spilling a bit more batter as he did so.

Jackson walked over to him and removed a bit of batter from Evgeni’s face with his finger and licked it off. He placed a kiss where the batter used to be. He looked down at the counter as he wrapped an arm around Evgeni’s waist. He couldn’t help but laugh at the fact that Evgeni had purchased a waffle machine that made waffles into the shape of the Millennium Falcon.

“How could you possibly make this much mess. It’s waffles!” Jackson laughed. He felt Evgeni shrug next to him.

“I fall out with mixer,” he said softly, trying to hide his embarrassment. Jackson could only laugh again as he stood on his tip toes to place a kiss on Evgeni’s cheek.

“May the Fourth be with you, babe.”

Evgeni smiled back down at him.

“May the Fourth be with you. Now please help,” he laughed.

Jackson shook his head as he reached for the spray cleaner, wiping down all the batter from the counter and reached for the bowl that Evgeni had made the batter mix in. He made quick work of making the recipe he knew by heart, aware of Evgeni watching his every move lovingly behind him.

Jackson poured a portion of the batter into the waffle machine and closed the lid, looking back at Evgeni.

“See, wasn’t that hard, was it?” Jackson teased.

Evgeni pouted slightly at him, feigning hurt. Jackson only chuckled slightly, walking over to him and enveloping his face in his hands.

“I’m joking, baby. Thank you for trying to make waffles this morning.”

Evgeni smiled and kissed him just as the waffle maker dinged.

Jackson opened it up and Evgeni laughed.

“I have been waiting for you, Obi-Waffle. We meet again, at last. When I left you, I was but the learner; now I am the master,” Evgeni whispered as he looked over the waffle.

Jackson choked on air.

“Ev, what the fuck!” He laughed.

When Evgeni stumbled again, Jackson sighed, stopping abruptly. "We're already late. You might as well tie them," he gestured to the bulky boots on his boyfriend's feet.

"Don't like when you angry," Evgeni pouted, passing the present to Jackson, before pressing a hand to his cheek.

"I'm not angry. I'm stressed."

"Not be stressed," Evgeni smiled, a dimple appearing as the corners of his mouth curled. "I'm very charming"

Jackson sighed again, but he was unable to help the smile creeping onto his own face. "Just tie your damn shoelaces."

43.

"Al? Kase?" Natalie rubbed at her eyes as she traipsed through the apartment, looking for her boyfriends. The sky was only just taking on an orangey haze, but neither of them were in the bed when she's stirred awake.

She blinked away the sleep, hearing a whispered squabble from the kitchen. She followed the noise finding the two of them tugging an apron between them.

"Nat!" Alex turned to her, a low growl rumbling through his chest when Kasey took the opportunity to grab the apron from his hands. "We need your help."

"Do you think you can jump rope with an apron?" Kasey asked, folding his arms.

Natalie frowned. How was this her life? "Why are we attempting to jump role with an apron? In our kitchen. This early in the morning."

"Alex says he and Finn used to do it all the time which is clearly not possible."

"We did!"

"I'm going back to bed. You two can carry on here or you can join me?"

68.

Meow

"Re, what takeout do you want?"

"Err, whatever? I think the Thai menu is on the fridge. Or we we could try that Greek place? The new one," Remus answered, pouring kibble into the bowl they had brought for the kitten that had claimed their house as its own. They had seen it around for a few weeks now, but after finding it curled up in their lounge a few morning ago and a trip to the vets to find it was unchipped, it seemed the little creature was theirs now.

Meow.

Meow.

Remus bit his lip thoughtfully, glancing around to try and figure out what the kitten wanted. He had moved the water away from the food like the blog posts had suggested. The cat had seemed to enjoy the exact same food this morning.

Meow.

Meow.

"Re! Are you listening to me?"

"Sorry, I was listening to the other motherfucker screaming at me!"

"What?" Sirius asked, wandering into the lounge. The unkempt kitten hopped off the couch and wound itself around Sirius' leg purring softly.

"Well. That's rude."

243.

Logan was raging. "Turn this bullshit off," he fumed at no one in particular, throwing his towel into his stall. The TV that was airing the interview with their opponent's coach faded to black with a click.

"I do think Knut was a little reckless," he repeated the words mockingly. "How the hell is he going to blame you when you were nowhere close to him when that happened?"

"Lo. Please, just leave it." Leo whispered, slumped in his own stall. Finn knelt in front of him, resting against his pads - he hadn't bothered to take them off yet - and grasped his hand.

"Hey, Pea," he smiled gently. "We know it was just a freak accident. It wasn't your fault. They just want somebody to blame."

"It wasn't your fault," Logan repeated, halting his pacing in front of Leo's stall. He turned to the rest of the locker room, "Anybody here think it was Leo's fault?"

Leo gave a small laugh. Nobody was going to answer with anything but a no, unless they weren't fond of their heads being attached to their bodies.

"Knut," Coach Weasley called, stepping out of his office. "Get changed. I want to see you in my office."

The room seemed to fall even quieter than it already was.

"Relax. I just want to show you some tape. They can blame you all they want, but it's right there. You were nowhere near him."