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You're in the wind, I'm in the water Nobody's son, nobody's daughter

#aliasedit #alias #nadia santos #julian sark #sydney bristow #irina derevko #userthing #tvarchive #irina x nadia #irina x sark #irina x sydney #nadia x sark x sydney #nadia x sark #nadia x sydney #sark x sydney #nsplus #myedit

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Fandom: Alias Relationships: Sark/Irina + Nadia/Elena, Nadia/Roberto, Nadia/Sloane Song: Would've, Could've, Should've by Taylor Swift Summary: Exploring some of the parallels between Sark and Nadia, by comparing Sark’s relationship with Irina to Nadia’s relationships with Sloane, Elena and Roberto. Content warnings: Character death, child abuse, needles, torture, violence, flashing lights

#aliasedit #alias #nadia santos #julian sark #elena x nadia #irina x sark #nadia x roberto #nadia x sark #nadia x sloane #isplus #nsplus #fanvid #myedit #expanding on my old theory that irina for sark is what roberto elena and sloane all put together are for nadia.#wonder what is worse to have multiple people trying to act as your guides in life while actively planning on harming you #or to have one single person in your life who made sure that you have no one but them; who replaced everyone in the world for you?#when she's your mother as in Mother. when she's your maker your creator your savior. your arsonist and your torturer.#and your sense of identity is tied to her so strongly that you can't remember the life before her. you had no life before her.#and then you wake up one day and you realize that you've been surrounding yourself with her doppelgangers for years.#that everyone in your life; EVERYONE you've ever been close to or wanted to be close to is a reflection of her in one way or another.#it's that when you're raised with an angry man in your house there will always be an angry man in your house;#you will find him even when he is not there quote. and sark very much can't live without irina in his house.#he'll find her even when she's not there. he'll find pieces of her in everyone he meets.#he'll surround himself with women who remind him of her. he's in a constant search of a god to pray to #because the god who made him; who gave him purpose; who taught him everything he knows; has abandoned him.#if sloane had been present in nadia's life from the very beginning he could have eclipsed everything and everyone for her in a similar way.#but nadia had a life before him. she had people who loved her before him. she had a chance to become her own person before him.#and while it didn't save her in the end it DID help to protect her from most of his influence. nadia KNEW who she was.#and knew who she didn't want to be. and if nadia hadn't run away from the orphanage; elena could have become her 'irina' too.#imagine sark and nadia meeting for the first time as the protegees of two derevko sisters? both shells of who they used to be.

Do you remember what our lives were like before him? We were sleeping on the streets. Roberto was an assassin. A criminal. He made us traitors. Don’t you understand? Who gives a damn? It’s not important. If it weren’t for him… we’d be rotting in that prison or dead. He saved us. And you killed him. (Alias, "The Orphan")

#aliasedit #alias #nadia santos #julian sark #userthing #irina derevko #roberto fox #cesar martinez #irina x sark #nadia x roberto #nadia x sark #isplus #nsplus #myedit #cesar's way of thinking = sark's way of thinking #WHO. GIVES. A. DAMN. IT'S NOT IMPORTANT. HE SAVED US.#and i do believe that sark is even worse about this.#he isn't just grateful for what irina did to him; he thinks it's the best thing that ever happened to him.#(and his life before irina? it doesn't exist to him)#it's interesting to think about how differently he sees irina and his father. how he recognizes his father's abuse for what it was;#doesn't have a problem with holding him accountable but isn't capable of doing the same with irina.#for him to believe that he owes everything to irina; to believe that he would be nothing without her;#the circumstances of their first meeting had to be awful. he had to be at his most vulnerable.#(like it doesn't matter what irina did to him; what matters to him is what would have happened to him if they hadn't met.#and that in his mind overshadows everything else.)#what i also love about that scene from the orphan is how it's not just nadia and cesar talking in it. or nadia and sark talking.#it's also sark and allison talking. and with sark and allison the lines become more blurred.#it becomes less about one person saying 'what we're doing is wrong' and more about one of them (allison) trying to make the other #look at irina differently. sark doesn't have enough distance from irina to see her for who she really is. but allison does.#and i love the idea of her trying to make him see that it doesn't matter what irina promised him; he will still end up like the others.

Scars are souvenirs you never lose The past is never far Did you lose yourself somewhere out there?

#aliasedit #alias #nadia santos #julian sark #userthing #tvarchive #nadia x sark #nsplus #myedit #found my old notes from when i was first watching s4 #and half of it is just me screaming about the nadia/sark parallels #which is valid af #they are. the same person in so many ways #the real two sides of the same coin #about that last gif: i prefer comparing sark and irina's relationship to nadia/roberto and nadia/elena #but also the irina/sloane parallel is definitely there too.#(my theory is that irina for sark is what roberto/elena/sloane rolled into one are for nadia. she's this for him and more.#the hero and the villain of his story. the savior and the arsonist.)#and i believe that sark and nadia's reasons for reconnecting with irina and sloane in s5 are similar #hence the scenes i chose for that gif #but what sold me the most on that parallel/connection is nadia and sloane in s3 #where it seemed like he wanted to mold her into another version of himself. his successor.#brainwash her and turn her into another rambaldi follower. do everything so that she could be by his side #and he could have an access to her gift.#the show retconned their relationship later on but that was how it all began.#that was the truth of their dynamic. truth of how sloane saw her. as a tool who could be useful to him.#and it was FASCINATING. and it became even more so once i had sark and irina on my mind while watching all these scenes #where sloane goes on and on about how what he's doing is for nadia's best #'you sliced me loose and said it was creation. i could feel the knife.' !!

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