#notspoiler

Varian was walking home with his best friend Rudiger by his side. Ever since Rapunzel saved him from his own stupidity after he drank the mood potion, he's been committing himself to help everyone he's ever hurt. Even though the King advised him to take some time to rest, he just couldn't be idle when other people are cleaning up his mess — so he's been helping the soldiers clear the debris around Old Corona.

He yawned as he got near his home, wondering what his dad made for lunch. Ever since they moved back into their home, er well their basement, since most of the house was still wrecked, his dad's been insistent that they eat every meal together. He stepped through the large gaping hole where the door used to be and called out a greeting as he took off his boots, making sure his furry friend wiped his paws as well.

"Dad! I'm home! What's cookin'? It smells good!" Varian hollered as he walked towards the thankfully intact kitchen. As he got closer, a strange smell reached his nostrils. It was a sickeningly sweet scent that practically overloaded all his other senses. He looked at Rudiger, wondering if his friend forgot to remove one of his old winter stashes of nuts and berries somewhere within their home.

It was when he stepped into the kitchen that he realized where that horrible metallic odor was coming from. The oven was wide open, with a tray of abandoned cookies resting in it. Bread and pieces of ham were scattered on the ground, with groups of ants dominating the fallen food. In the middle of it all, lay a motionless body, impaled by dark spike, similar to all the other rock-like spikes scattered across the kingdom.

"DAD! What happened? This can't be happening! Not again," Varian cried out as he knelt by his father, paying no attention to the growing pool of crimson blood gathered under his knees. His father, still alive, gripped his gloved hand as he heard his son's voice.

“V-varian? I must leave now.”

"No, Dad! You can't leave me! Not again! You promised you would never leave my side again!" he shouted as he held his father in his arms, trying to ignore the huge spike speared through his father.

Quirin lifted his head to look at his son one last time as he spoke his last words. "Son, don't worry about me. I'll be with your mother soon enough. I don't blame you for all the mistakes you made that lead up to this moment. Live your life however you would like to now. Just remember, your mother and I loved you so very much. Never forget that," the old man reassured the young boy as he took his last breaths. Ignoring the cries of his son, he closed his eyes and soon after, his body went limp.

"NO! Dad! Wake up! Please! I didn't mean for this to happen!" he yelled out, not letting go of his father's cold body as he sobbed. The silence that settled into the room was penetrated by Rudiger's screeches. Varian turned around and saw his closest friend leaving. He tried to run after him, but kept slipping on the blood-covered floor.

"No! Rudiger, you can't leave me too!" His shouts for him were ignored as the small ball of fur left, hissing and screeching the whole way.

Varian couldn't believe it. He was all alone once more. His parents were no more. He's ruined his relationship with Rapunzel, Eugene, and Cassandra long ago. He betrayed the Kingdom by causing destruction and kidnapping the queen. His dad is gone, just like before, and his only friend as well. He was all alone, but maybe . . . he didn’t deserve anyone. He wasn’t worth being anything, but alone in this big world.

Varian was just getting up from where he was kneeling when there was a sudden stampede of incoming feet. He looked up and froze when he saw who was there. The golden-haired princess stared at him in shock. Behind her, her lady in waiting and her boyfriend stopped in their steps as well, as they took in the scene of him in blood-stained clothing and the dead body of his father behind him.

"Varian," Rapunzel started, her body shaking, "What have you done?"

Cassandra stepped up in front of her as if she was trying to protect her. Her hazel eyes had always held warmth for him, but now they were like the hardened amber that used to incase his father. It was just like when he . . . went rogue so long ago. Eugene held Rapunzel's hand as if to comfort her as they faced Varian.

Varian was shocked. After all that had happened, they still assumed the worst of him. They actually think he killed his own father! They knew perfectly well that everything he did was all to save his father. His only family. Why would they ever believe that he would kill his own father? After everything he’s been through without him?

"Guards, arrest that murderer!" Rapunzel bellowed out as she and her friends stepped to the side to let the soldiers pass through.

The young alchemist snapped out of his disbelief at the situation and did the only thing he could think of. He ran. He turned around and ran like he never did before. He slipped out the back door and didn't look back. Throwing some of his alchemical bombs behind him as he dashed into the forest. He wasn't even looking at where he was going until he was cornered on a cliff. Behind him, the royal guards stood ready to seize him. Below him, a sea of darkened rocks stood in his way to escape unscathed. The princess and her entourage stood near him, not willing to let him escape for a crime he did not commit.

"VARIAN! Stop running away from your mistakes! It's time for you to pay for them! There's no escape from justice!" she shrieked out.

Varian knew there was no escape from them — but he couldn't go back with them. He'll be imprisoned for life, he was sure of it.  Still, maybe there still is a way for him to flee them. His eyes darted towards the rocks below the cliff, knowing they promised death for anyone daring to rest them. Although it would be a painful way to die, it was better than living. He had no reason to continue to live, not after all that has happened to him. He has no family or friends worth living for. At least this way, he might have a chance to see his mother and father one last time before he goes to hell. Where else would a villain like him go after death? At least the biting pain of living would no longer torment him so.

He turned around to look at his former friends one last time. He smiled as he stepped back, getting closer to the edge. Eugene's eyes widened as he realized his plan. Cassandra dropped her sword in surprise as she too grasped the meaning of his backing away from them. Rapunzel gasped, hoping her eyes were deceiving her.

"Don't worry, guys! I'll never be able to run away from my mistakes ever again. Your right about one thing. It's time for me to pay for my mistakes. It was nice knowing you!" Varian said as he stepped off the cliff, ready to face his death.

"Mom, dad! Don't worry, I'm coming!" he whispered as he closed his eyes.

Suddenly, Varian woke up, alone in his bed. He quickly got up, trying to untangle himself from his blankets. As fast as he could, he rushed to the other side of the basement, separated by a partition. On the other side, he stopped at the foot of the bed, relieved to see his father asleep. Tears streamed his face as he remembered holding his father's limp body once more. He couldn't believe he was still alive. It felt so real . . . just like how real it felt when he was . . . in the amber.

Varian started to sink towards the ground when a pair of strong arms held him up. The young boy looked up and saw him. "Dad," he whispered breathlessly before he threw himself into his arms. Quirin cradled his son in his arms, wishing that the nightmares that plagued Varian would end. But, he knew they would only end after Varian learned to forgive himself.

"Varian," Quirin started off as he ran his fingers through his son's long locks. "What happened in your nightmare this time?"

Varian took a few deep breaths before he was even ready to start talking.

"Daddy! The rocks! They killed you!" he yelled as his hands gripped Quirin's shirt tightly.

"Everything's okay, son. I've got you," the old man comforted the teen in his arms. "Settle down now. Take a few deep breaths. Come on now."

Once Varian stopped shaking and had calmed down enough for Quirin. The man brought the boy to his bed, laying him down, with his head in his lap. He continued to run his fingers through the teen's messy black hair as he prompted him to talk.

"Son, tell me what happened in your nightmare."

Varian bit his lip, wondering if he should just make up some story instead of telling his dad the truth about his nightmare — but, then again, he always knew when he was lying so he would be better off being truthful. The calloused hand that touched his face drew him out of his thoughts. His father touched his lips, quietly reminding Varian about how he isn't allowed to hurt himself, even unconsciously.

"Varian, you know you can tell me anything and it wouldn't change my love for you."

Finally, the teen relented all told his father everything. He told him about coming home to find his body impaled by a spike. How his last words were about how much he loved him, even though he doesn't deserve it. And how Rudiger leaving him right afterward. How exactly the princess and her friends treated him once they saw him as the murderer? Finally, he told him about . . . how he jumped off the cliff.

"I was cornered on the cliff and there was no other way to escape. I knew I would be arrested and everything would never be the same again. I . . . just couldn't stand it all. So, I . . . decided to just end it. Even though I could see Rapunzel, Eugene, and Cassandra seem worried about what I was going to do, I just jumped. I should have faced my punishment bravely, but instead, I decided to take the easy way out by killing myself like a coward."

Varian broke down in tears, knowing his father would probably hate him now. Suddenly, instead of being pushed away like he thought would happen, he was pulled up and into his father's strong arms once more. He held with a tight grip as if he was trying to make sure the older man would not disappear in his arms.

Quirin held his son tight against his chest, wishing there was a way to make the nightmares within Varian go away — but, alas, there was no such a way that existed for him to do so. All he could do is to always be there for him. In the past, he closed off his heart and in doing so, he closed his eyes to see his son's troubles. Doing so had cost his son's smiles and turned him on a path he barely came back from.

Quirin promised himself that he would never put his son behind again. He needed to be there for his son now more than ever, which meant he had to help him overcome the difficulties in life. He was there to help him realize no one except he was to blame for his own condition in the amber. He was there to read over the letter his son never got to read. He was there to help him overcome his difficulties with the princess, her friends, and the royal leaders of their kingdom. He wanted to be there for him for all the other events that were sure to happen in his life.

Though he knew he would be gone from this world one day and he feared how Varian would survive without him, Quirin was sure of one thing for sure. That Varian would never be alone.

After he was released from his indestructible prison, Varian started to make his wrongs to rights. The King and Queen, of course, forgave him, since the King also had some part in Varian's change of heart. The Queen practically adopted Varian and forced him to join her for tea almost every day. The teen also found himself joining the group of soldiers who were commanded to help rebuild Old Corona and helped them out every other day or so. Varian was also able to make amends with the princess and her friends.

Quirin knew that when he would leave this world for another, that his son would be taken care of. He was sure of that fact; but, till that day would come in the distant future, he would do anything in his power to make sure his son knew his father was still there for him.

Once Varian's tears started to subside and his sobs lessened, Quirin knew it was time to help his son realize the truth.

"Son," the father started off running his hands through the teen's long dark brown locks.

"Varian, I know things have been difficult for you since my return and everything you suffered through while I was . . . gone."

The elder knew better than to say the words 'rocks' and 'amber' around the boy. It would only serve to further remind Varian about the past.

"I know your nightmares will not be gone for a long time. I know that personally after all the sleepless nights I too went through after leaving the dark kingdom."

After he returned, the first secret he revealed was about his past in the Brotherhood and how he was a warrior of the Dark Kingdom. It was the first of many secrets he was glad to get off his chest, after years of hiding them.

"I used to have nightmares almost every night. It led me to forgo sleep just so I could stop remembering the past. I hated myself for letting King Edmund force the Brotherhood out of the kingdom alongside all the citizens. I kept having these morbid dreams of the King dying in such horrific ways. I didn't know if those dreams were true or not at the time — nonetheless, they still made me feel guilty for not speaking up. I thought I would never be able to have a good night's sleep again."

Varian looked up at his father, wondering how he never knew these things about before today. There was a lot he never knew about his father before how he changed from his time as a . . . criminal to the kingdom.

"What did you do? How did you get over your nightmares? How did you . . . get better?" the young lad asked.

Quirin smiled and tilted his son's chin upwards towards him so their eyes would meet.

"I learned to forgive myself. I realized that by letting myself not sleep only harmed myself and those around me. I learned to let go by just accepting the fact that the King and all my friends could have been dead, but if I did not think about the possibility of them being perfectly fine, I would never be able to get past my guilty."

Varian knew what his father was trying to do. He knew all his father wanted for him was to forgive himself and the boy wished he could, but he couldn't bring himself to forgive himself yet. He still had a lot to pay for. He would not rest or let himself give up till all the damage he did to his home was fixed, till all of Corona finally got past the old version of him, till he could do alchemy again without thinking he was gonna break done in tears from just looking at his old workshop. He wanted to forgive himself just like all the other people in his life forgave him — but he knew it would not be possible for quite a lot of time.

"Dad, I know what your trying to say. You want me to accept everything I did and try to start a new life. I just can't, not yet! I want to forgive myself for the person I had become, but I don't think I'm ready for that yet. I need to go along things at my own pace. I want to forgive myself one day in the future, but that day has not come yet. Hopefully, with time, we can talk about things without either of us breaking."

Quirin's grip on his son got tighter. He was proud of his son for getting to the place he was at right now. Varian was trying to change and that was all that mattered right now. He just needed more time to accept that he is not the same person he was during the battle of Corona during the Princess's second birthday home.

"Son, I am really proud of you for how far you have come. I will try my best to always be at your side. Hopefully, you will realize that I will never leave your side again, at least not by choice. I want you to know that even when I leave this world, I will do it with a smile. Because I will be happy to know that me being in your life has helped you in some way. And I will also never stop loving you because . . . you're the joy in my life."