#judithgrimes

"Can you plant the last tomato, please? I told Enid I'd see her before her daycare shift." His agonizing voice pleaded.

With a strike at my heart I felt my throat swell up. It felt as if I couldn't mouth a word even if I tried. But the more I contemplated it, the more anger I felt.

Without any second thought my mouth flapped. "You have quite the nerve, you know that? You are the most inconsiderate, stupid, conveying bastard I have ever met. So no, I will not plant that last fucking tomato, you prick." My anger spit hot at him, finally taking the chance to glare at his face.

Without another thought either, I stood up, brushed my hands off, and stomped my way to my house that was way cooler than out here.

Maybe its was the heat getting to me or maybe my nerves exploded from all the bottling I do with my emotions.

I wasn't sure but what I did know was I needed to get away-far- from that boy. Maybe I didn't mean everything I had said to him, but my emotions took more control than my impulse.

-

"Hey sweetie, what's the matter?" Carol had immediately took note on my dishevel. Maggie glancing from behind her shoulder at the sink to take in my state as Carol spoke.

I shrug, trying to brush off the upcoming feeling-check in.

But as they dug at me and pleaded for my explanation I broke.

"It's just been Carl. He's been with Enid ever since she got here. We don't even see each other anymore because he's always with her. We haven't talked until today for a whole week and I just blew up on him. I mean-with reason- of course. I feel like he's slipping from me, like she completely stole him from me. What do I even do?"

"If I were you, I would make him regret it."

"Maggie!" Carol snipped.

"I mean, make realize what he's missing."

"Do not do that."

It was like the devil and angel on my shoulder. But I felt Maggie was pulling me towards her idea. I Knew Carol was right but that didn't feel right.

"Don't do that. Even though you are mad with reason, you shouldn't act with your anger. Anger makes you stupid, you know that. If anything, you should let him make that decision for himself. If Carl was really the best thing for you then he will find his way back to you."

Carol made sense, and I should probably listen to her. She was right, anger does make you stupid. So for once, I'll let myself be stupid. Because with out Carl, I already felt incredibly stupid.

"Thank you, guys. Really. I'll keep it in mind." I say, leaving my decision freely interpreted. I picked up an apple, slicing it into tiny bite sized pieces as she was doing, setting them on the toddler plate with the cut up banana pieces.

-

8pm came faster than I thought, so here I was- jogging to Maggie's house. Knocking firmly on the door it swung open. Glenn's face looked curious- worried even.

"Hello? Elle what are you doing here?" The man asked as he steps aside to let me in the house.

"Is Maggie here? Awake?"

"Yeah?... Up in our room."

I skip up to the stairs, knocking on the door before stumbling in.

"Hey Maggie. I took your advice and I need your help. I was wondering if you could help me get ready and maybe let me borrow some clothes or like do my hair or something? I'm going to a bonfire my friends are having and Carl will be there."

The girl looked so enjoyed, as if she had been waiting for this.

"Of course I will! C'mon." She took me by the hand and lead me into their walk in close. For being in the apocylpes- Maggie had very many clothes. She pulled may shirts on and off the racks, holding them up to my chest to analyze.

With great precision we decided on a red button up with long sleeves that clung to my body and low rise jeans that were a slim fit to my legs. It was a good match that I knew would make an impression.

We curled pieces of my eyes and added light make up.

"Thank you, I look great, Maggie."

"You're welcome, Elle. I hope this works, I have hopes bet on you two." The woman's soft southern drawl was so comforting to hear.

I nod and hurry back down where there must be a council meeting occurring, which is why the bonfire is most likely happening. All the adults in the houses are out for a couple hours.

Glenn, Daryl, Rick, Abraham, Carol, Michonne, and a few others were sitting in the living room. Eyes landing on me as they hadn't seen me come in since they just got here.

"You're all dressed up." Daryl was already suspicious.

"It's very late, what are you still doing out?" Carol had clocked Daryl's mention.

"God forbid a girl likes dressing up and remidningherslef that she is a human being." I say, a chuckle passing off my initiative.

"Jeez, Daryl. Leave the poor girl alone she's going through some things." Maggie was already behind me, backing up my unplausbale excuse.

"Has Carl spoken to you yet?" Rick had to ask right now. As if it all wasn't embarrassing enough.

I shake my head, tongue sweeping across my teeth. "No, he hasn't. But I'm really disappointed that you raised an inconsiderate prick who has no awareness of the people around him." My words make the adults gawk. But the only thing my mind could form a thought about was if they had heard everything I had said to him earlier. Then what would they look like?

With that I excused myself out of the front door, making my way down the dimly lit side walks.

"He still running around with that new girl we found?" Glenn had asked, lost in the story line.

"I mean.. I guess so. Elles not wrong though, I should talk to him." Rick's voice was low, almost embarrassed for his son.

"I feel bad for the pimp. He doesn't seem to see the real woman he already has." Abraham had joined din, his dry humor almost uncomforting.

-

"Elle! You're here! I've missed you so much!" A familiar girl who I called my friend was slinging and stumbling into me. With a beer in her hand and an obnoxious laugh, I knew how long this night was going to be.

"Hey Katie." I cling back to the girl but take in the surroundings. Ron, Mikey, Carl, and Jesse were sat in lawn chairs in front of the fire, a cooler next the them. Enid, Karen, and I assume Katie at one point were sitting in the other 3 chairs across the fire pit.

"There are a few beers in the cooler if you want want one, Elle." Jesse announced to me, pointing his boot int he direction of their cooler.

"Yess, have a drink, Elle. Let's get fucked up" Katie was already on the verge of tripping doe her own feet. As I chuckle, Katie sits back down in her chair next to Enid and I cross the boys to get to the cooler.

"Elle, I'm sorry about-"

"Elle, you can sit with me if you want. Ron forgot your chair earlier like the dumbass he is." Jesse also offered, interrupting Carl's pity.

"Thank you and Ron, count your days, dumbass." I play, cracking the beer open and taking a sip before sitting on the boy's lap.

"So, Elle, how are you and Carl?" Karen had asked, tone mischievous. "Because Enid had been waiting for a chance to get in that poor boy's pants and I'm assuming Jesse has an idea in mind also."

The fire cracked in the silence that has now formed, the heat stretching into the tension among us. With a small smile and a careful thinking I respond. "Waiting? Oh no, she's been in there all ready. She just couldn't wait."

I watched Enid's face light up red, her jaw clenching.

Carl had slouched in his seat, trying to disappear in his current state.

"Damn.." Ron had also sliced with the boy to avoid cross fire.

"It's not my fault you couldn't keep him away." Enid had finally spoke.

"Well, it's kinda hard to avoid all the creeping you did. I mean- you followed him around like a lost puppy. You're a joke and you're pathetic, bitch."

"Okay, woah. It's not like that at all." Carl had finally came to his own defense. But it was something I was willing to take just yet.

"Shut up." I shut his defense down very quickly.

The fire had gone quiet again, and at this point I had already finished my beer. I didn't have watch shift until later tomorrow anyways.

I snag another drink from the cooler, Carl's hand catching my arm.

'slow down' he mouths quietly to which I respond by rolling my eyes.

My eyes are trained onto Carl's as I take my seat back on Jesse's lap. Carl' eyes roll, his face beaming red. Exactly what I liked to see.

I shift in the boy's lap, trying to get comfortable. To which, his hands rested on my hips for stability.

Me and Jesse had never had feelings for each other and he was honestly the only boy I had ever even talked to here. So I assume he wasn't doing this for pleasure but rather to help me get back at Carl.

-

About an hour goes by into the late night, the council is still discussing so we don't pack up the bonfire yet.

Rather now, we are talking again but never letting the tension settle.

I flaunt around Carl, knowing exactly what he's thinking and remaining precise about my act.

I made sure to flirt with Jesse frequently right infrotn of Carl as I saw how much it bothered him. It may be evil of me but I couldn't help liking the revenge.

I remembered every time he would cancel on me to help Enid or simply just see her. It was so enraging and sickening to me. So each stab I took, the more I got back.

"This is cute- like- the stubble.." I slur as I pick and point at the boy's face. I knew how dramatic I was being but part of me was also 4 beers deep at this point and some stuff was unexpected or uncontrollable.

"yeah? You like it?" Jesse was playing into my act, knowing exactly what I was up tow with Carl.

"It's late. The council should be closing soon so. Ron clean this up soon, I'm taking her home." Carl huffs as he stands up, folding up his chair.

"I think she's okay, I don't mind walking her home." Jesse advised but Carl wasn't letting that happen.

Carl was clearly mad and I was into it. I felt him putting up that fight for me I knew he always had.

"Carl, you should help me get home... So you can sleep over-and- sleep over.." Enid was slurring pretty much to herself since Carl was only focused on getting me home.

"Just go home, Enid." Carl and gave little attention as his eyes remained on the boy who had possession over me.

"Yeah but uh- She's going home now. And we can argue all night about it, but I'm not leaving here with out Elle." Carl was argumentative.

"I-I am fine, Carl" My speech sounds ridiculous at this point in the night and I wasn't even sure if I was talking with sound.

"Elle, you're drunk and you have no idea what's going on. I'm taking you home before Carol and Daryl get back from the council meeting. Let's go." His words were from but I still, stubborn, was not moving.

Jesse and Carl shared the same look and with that, Jesse released his grip on my hips and Carl had picked me up over his shoulders to secure.

Carl had said goodbye to his friends as they started to clean up, I however, was furious. Beating and pounding on the boy's back as he walked through the dim streets.

"Carl. Put me down, I'm not going home- yet.."

"Elle, shhh, you are going to wake everyone." Carl had warned.

"Good. They know how much of a jaggoff you are anyways."

"Listen, I don't know what you've heard, but I don't like Enid. I'm not cheating on you, I'm not sleeping with her, and I still love you."

"You're such liar. All you ever do is hang out with her and you don't even like being around with anymore."

"That's simple not true, Elle. I'm sorry it seemed that way to you, but I promise it wasn't. I guess hanging out with someone who had a lot in common with me who I didn't have to put so much effort in to with really was different for me."

It took me a moment to process what he was saying, and probably not everything and said since the alcohol was infused with my brain.

"Enid was cool to hang out with because we shared the same interest and I didn't have to give her any special efforts who tend to her. Which don't get me wrong, I love you and I love giving you what you deserve, but it's just refreshing."

"But you knew she liked you and you totally put me to the aside. You gave her all your time."

"I know and I'm sorry for how I acted. I realized that I was totally wrapped up in it all. As for her liking me, I had no idea until earlier and I promise I want nothing to do with her anymore." Carl had gently lifted me down rom his shoulder, cupping my face in his hands.

My brain was processing everything he was saying, it felt genuine. Maybe Carol was right.

"I missed you" the soft words were whispered from my mouth as the boy held complete eye contact, his expression lifting.

"I missed you too, Elle"

His touch was foreign but so familiar.

"I'm gonna make it up to you, I swear. But for right now, let's get home before the council gets out."

-

"C'mon, shhhh" The boy was trying to tip toe around the dark-almost empty house with mw, clearly disoriented.

With his force and strength, he managed to get me to my room and place me in the bed. Slipping off my shoes, he tucked me under the covers.

"Carl.. stay, please." I whispered, my hands clutching his flannel as he leans above my face.

"I can't but I wish I could. I'll make it up to you, I swear. Just get some rest. Love you sweet girl." The boy whispered back, placing a kiss on my forehead before escaping the room.

Before long, the dark was escaping and light was entering. Birds were awake and chirping and I could hear faint hammers and talking from outside. Carl kept saying that he was going to make it up to me but I couldn't picture anything. Not that he's not caring or anything, but we live in an apocylpes. There's not much of anything,

But what ever it is, I'm sure it will make up for everything. All I knew is that I have watch in a few hours and I needed to get ready.

My head was pounding and my eyes stung at the light, my stomach beginning to toss and turn. Using all my might, I threw on new clothes and fixed my appearance.

I was hungry and I felt as if my insides were going to eat themselves if I didn't get food soon.

"Good Morning, Elle" Carol greeted, standing over the island and scraping eggs onto plates.

" g'morning" I say without effort, plotting onto the stool.

"Late night?" Daryl ruffed from besides me, taking in my current states

All I could respond with was a simple finger, all my body could muster up to do.

"What were you up to?" Carol was already onto my conspicuous 'act' while sliding me a plate of eggs and bacon, in which I devoured in a hurry.

"Can we save the questioning for later? I have no problem telling you what I was doing but as of now, it's taking everything from within me to not throw up on your cookies here."

There was no further pushing, instead, the door opened calmly. A carl appearing in the door way.

"Hey," He greeted, him and Carol sharing an equal expression.

"Hey" I turn to face the boy before sliding my plate into the sink.

"C'mon." Carl directs.

"Where?" I ask, confused.

"I'm not telling you, you'll see. Just come with me. I promise you won't be late for your shift."

With that, I was convinced. I skipped towards the door, letting the boy take the lead.

We walked further and further away from the house, and I was getting slightly confused as to where we could be going. Since Alexandria isn't really that big and everything was man-built with my own help. So I would've known where we headed but I couldn't think of anything interesting behind the infirmary.

"It's not much, but I figured it would be nice to chill fro a minute with no responsibilities. Just me and you getting to make up our time lost." The boy explains as the setting emerges.

Flowers were surrounding a gentle picnic spot, a towel laid downfor comfort and even a cute basket. The flowers were all sorts of colors and types, I was more focused on how he got his hands on so many of them.

"You like it?" He asked, turning self conscience.

"Oh, Carl!" I shriek, pulling the boy into a tight embrace and a compassionate kiss. His effort was displayed so vastly, it was perfect.

"Where di you find all this?" I ask, approaching the spot and glancing more carefully.

"Don't worry about that. I wan't to make sure my girl had flowers no matter what." His grin was picture worthy, and the air blush on his cheeks was comforting.

"I love it so much, Carl. This is amazing." I encourage, taking note on all the type of flowers surrounding us.