i still think about this tweet every single day
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i still think about this tweet every single day

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ok sorry its time for old man complaining time. why does no one have keys to their own houses anymore. what is going on. i was visiting my friends house the other day and EYE literally have a key to the house so i locked the door behind me without thinking. roommates came up behind later and were getting heated in the chats because they dont have keys. to their own house. where they have been living for months. what the fuck. they genuinely just leave the door unlocked all day and night. like it's the 1950's. at the old house one of the roommates (DIFFERENT ONE BTW) was frequently having to get us to open the door because adding a single key to her barren keychain would have made it "too heavy" whatever THAT means. now i have new neighbors in the apartment across from me and my dog is constantly going insane because apparently the husband comes home from work and KNOCKS ON HIS OWN DOOR to be let in. this is madness. there are key cutting kiosks in every grocery store. it's like $10. TO NOT BE LOCKED OUT OF YOUR OWN HOUSE. everyone i am complaining about here HAS JOBS AND TRANSPORTATION.
power outage got me stuck in the tram then almost made me miss my train then caused my train to be delayed and now that i'm finally on the train someone decided to take a massive dump on the train toilet and it's stinking up the whole cart. guten fucking morgen
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trying to explain the absolutely batshit concept that @possumclawz and I just created. there's layers.
First we have an AU where Minkowski's call went through and Koudelka believed her. He raises a stink, it's a huge PR thing where most of Goddard management gets fired. Kepler immediately gets a message saying "hey, get back home, things are going really bad and we need to save face" and they eventually come back to earth before anyone dies.
When they get back the entire crew of the hephestus (including hera) are given generous pensions and cushy low-risk jobs in the same city as a "please don't talk to the press about how bad things are" deal. Hilbert goes back to whatever he was doing in Russia.
Kepler is ready to go back to business as usual but the SI-5 were also reported as dead and also were made. very public in the outcry and so theyre still employed but they get 0 actual missions, jacobi and maxwell are specialists so they're kind of treated as freelancers, but Kepler is put as their "handler" which basically just means he takes messages for them, which he *hates*
Hera and Eiffel buy a smart house with the exorbitant hush money Hera got, because I think she likes the "omnipresent ai who manages everything" part of her job as long as she also gets a physical human body she can leave the house in.
maxwell and jacobi live together in the world's most terrible apartment.
Kepler has a big fancy house in a neighborhood with an HOA and nobody comes to visit him which makes him so upset so he just devotes himself to seeming like he has hobbies.
Minkowski and Koudelka offer Lovelace a spare room at their house since she doesn't really have anywhere else to stay.

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meeting a strange man in a cvs parking lot to buy a secondhand trash can
broun legendary grieving moments: hears their most important person is dead and goes “okay thisbe go file paperwork.” grinds their teeth every time anyone else acknowledges valence is dead.