“I just want to know you-”

“I can not tell you, love. You know I can not. For your safety.” You wiped at the tears that were falling out of anger and rolled down your cheeks before they dripped from your chin. He looked unfaced. The mask of a double spy already in place as he prepared to leave you once more without hearing you.

“I don’t care about my damn safety when I can’t have you, be with you!” you screamed as your hands fisted by your sides. His shoulders sunk a tad and he looked hurt. I’m fucking hurt!

“You never talk to me! I don’t know anything about you, Severus! You always shut me out even though you want me to tell you about every single little thing! It’s not fair!” Your voice was broken, sobs escaped you and it was hard to breathe as he just looked at you without any inclination of wanting to speak with you. Ease your pain. 

Severus sighed but didn’t move more than grabbing at his arm as his face hardened. The Dark Lord was calling for him and you knew he would walk out that door no matter what you said or did. Your heart hurt, your stomach was in knots with worry over him but also worry over your relationship. Where were you heading if there was no time, communication or trust? 

“Darling, I have to…” His dark voice was a rumble that made you shiver, just as it had done for the past years, since the first time you heard it. He always made you weak with want.

“Just, go. I, need time.” He stiffened at your words as you broke eye contact with him. You didn’t want him to see the pure pain that slashed in you over his indifference. His reluctance to let you in. Was it really too much to ask to know the man you loved, who claimed he loved you beyond everything else? No, it wasn’t. It wasn’t too much to ask but if he could not give himself to you, what were you to do? Leave him? You couldn’t. You’d always be his yet this had to stop. One way or another. 

His cold hand stroked with gentle fingers down your cheek to wipe away the tears that lingered there. You turned your head away as you hugged yourself through a shaky breath.

“Go,” you squeezed out, “I need time to, figure this shit out. I’ll go to my mother’s.” He sighed again, deeply.

“Love, please,” he growled in a low tone and you knew his arm was aching as his hand were fisting and unfisting in your peripheral.

“Don’t come after me.” You turned and left him in the hallway. You stopped right inside of the doorway to the kitchen, you fought with all your strength to not break down and cry. The moment the door closed in the hallway and he was gone again your knees buckled and you crumbled to the floor with a wailing, shattering sound that vibrated from the depths of your chest through the entire house. 

After a few long moments when you had cried and sobbed, hugged yourself and allowed the tears to stream freely you went upstairs and started to pack your bag. You had no idea how long you would be gone but you knew you needed to get away from him and have some space to figure it all out. He needed the space too. He needed to realise that a relationship took trust, even if that was a hard thing for him to give. You knew that, understood that to some degree even if he hadn’t let you in and explained why. But, nonetheless, you were not like everyone else. You truly loved him, deeply and passionately, you wanted his trust and you wanted to give him your full trust continuously. It was just not that simple, apparently. And that hurt, fiercely.  

…Three days later… 

“Sweetheart, he adores you, he loves you. It will be okay.” You smiled at your mother as you were snuggled up on the little wooden bench on the back porch with a blanket wrapped around your shoulders. Your mother had been understanding and caring, but still gave you space to figure things out and think. The time moved so slow and every second was painful as you were separated from Severus. You wanted to yield and just be with him, that little piece he gave you of himself. You loved him and you knew that, truly. But you were tired of getting your heart broken over and over and over. It hurt too much. 

“I just don’t know if I can, if I can deal with what little he gives me.” You glanced at your mother who sat crosslegged on the edge of the bench by your curled up feet.

“Sweetheart, have you turned it around?” You knitted your brows at her words.

“What?”

“Turn it around. Think about what he has given to you, what he has sacrificed to be with you and have you in his life. What he goes through every single day to have your love.” You both were quiet for a little moment as you thought about it. Your mother wasn’t wrong but that was still not enough. You needed more, more of him. 

“I do not claim to know Severus, I don’t really,” your mother continued, “But let me just say, he loves you madly. Just as you love him madly. You have given me very little information, I know it’s for my safety and his, but from what you have told me about secret meetings that are dangerous and even possibly lethal he must carry quite a weight over his shoulders with concern for your safety.” you knitted you brows at him and she continued, “If I were him, if I put the one I love in mortal danger each and every day just by being with them I think I would have left. To make it easier and safer. But his love, it’s so strong and deep that he hasn’t done that. Despite it all, he is with you in theses dark and dangerous times. He’s with you, as much as he can. Do you see what I mean?” Your mother spoke with a gentle smile aimed at you and you couldn’t help the silent tears that flowed again. You simply nodded, because you knew, you understood what she was getting at now. It hurt to think about the pain you caused him by just loving him. 

Your mother left you to your own thoughts as the tears dried up and left you with red and swollen eyes. You wanted to go to him, be with him, be held by him and apologies for the way you had acted. But, you also knew that nothing had changed. It still killed you, shattered you, to not know him and not have him in a way that mattered more to you than his physical presence. He was a mere whisper to you out of the full song you knew was him. You wanted the song, with all the complicated lyrics and high notes mixed with the low ones. You needed more and rightly so. He had more of you, he had more and it pained you that you did not have that of him. 

You shuddered as dusk settled and the evening chill strode in. The blanket wasn’t quite enough to keep you warm yet you couldn’t seem to move from the bench as a numbness had started to fill your heart. Is this is? Is this all I will ever have of him? It’s not enough. It’s not enough, I want more, I need more. I can’t live like this. The thoughts made you sigh as you looked out over the back garden that was being consumed by darkness as night came. 

A small swoosh was heard and there he was. Severus. He was stood at the end of the garden like a dark cloud of warmth. You jolted ever so slightly and blinked, confused. Were you imagining him?

“Love,” he whispered in that thunderous voice of his that reach all the way to you and your heart leapt. In an instant, you had abandoned the bench and the blanket, your feet lead you down the stairs and he met you halfway through the garden in a strong embrace as new tears welled up and you sobbed into his chest as his arms crushed you to him.

“Love, I’m sorry, I can not stay away any longer. Please,” he breathed into your hair as he held you as close as could be.

“Sev…” 

You stood there for a long moment, held by each other as you both took comfort from the closeness. But you could not allow him to sweep you off your feet again. So after another moment you stepped back and he reluctantly let you out of his embrace but his hands remained on your hips as yours were placed on his chest where you could feel his breaths and the beating of his wonderful heart. The heart you wanted access to, completely. 

“I am sorry,” he whispered as one hand rose to your chin and he tilted your head back. You were nearly lost in the swirling depths of his onyx eyes that appeared black in the darkness. His hair was greasier than you had seen it in a long while, his skin as pale as ever and he looked as if he were in immense pain.

“Severus, that’s not enough,” you whispered back as you had resolved yourself to not giving in yet again. You deserved more than scraps of the man you loved so dearly and he deserved to feel cared for even after someone knew his dark secrets. Knew his emotions and thoughts that he guarded like Cerberus guarded the underworld if you listened to muggles in Greece.  

He sighed as his dark eyes searched yours. You let him. You kept eye contact and didn’t shy away as your emotions were laid bare in your own eyes. He shuddered and you shivered as a tear rolled down his cheek silently.

“I can not tell you, darling, I can not do such a thing with a good conscience.” You sighed at his refusal and that void that had been growing in your heart expanded.

“If you know... Love, if you know what goes on in those meetings, during my mission, if you know these things-”

“Wait, no, I don’t care about that stuff.” You knitted your brows as his rose ever so slightly.

“Then why are we arguing?” He sounded confused and pondering. You groaned.

“Because you. don’t. listen.,” you gritted out as your hands hardened against his chest. 

He had truly not been hearing you at all. You had told him time and time again what you wanted to know. You had asked him time and time again how he was feeling, what he was thinking, what he felt about an endless array of things. Never had you asked to know what happened at the meetings, what he did during his missions or who he met - not once. You sighed and stepped forward so you could lean your forehead against his shoulder. He took the opportunity to wrap his arms around you again. 

“I’m, confused,” he muttered and you chuckled.

“Tell me, Sev, what have I asked you?”

“I-, well you have asked me a lot of things, love.” You sighed on another chuckle. He had no clue what you had been asking because he had not been actively listening, he had just tried to shut you down and assumed you wanted to know information rather than emotions and feelings; thoughts.

“I have asked you to share yourself with me, Severus. I have asked for you, for your emotions and thoughts. Nothing else.” He sighed and kissed the side of your head.

“I am a fool,” he muttered a moment later and you chuckled for the third time as you quite frankly agreed with him at that moment. 

…Back at Spinner’s End… 

You both sat down on the couch after having returned home and taken a shower together, in silence. He had asked you to give him a chance, back at your mother’s house, to understand and try again. It had taken a little convincing because you wanted to make sure he was not simply trying to get you back home with him (even if, honestly, that was all you wanted after having been separated for three days by a stupid argument that hurt so badly). You had agreed on the premises that he talked with you and listened to you so he could stop being a fool. He had agreed to that in return. 

He moved closer to your end of the couch and pulled you into his side. He cradled you against his chest and you were quite content with being there. You wanted to just enjoy him again and be blissfully happy at the moment - but you knew you couldn’t allow that. So you took a breath and he stiffened.

“Sev,” you said as your hand rested gently on his thigh, “tell me how you feel.”

“You want to know how I feel?”

“Yes, how you feel, what you’re thinking, experiencing, where you are emotionally. I want to know you,” you stated with sincerity. He adjusted his position so he could pull you even closer. You waited. 

“This is what I need to do to keep you in my life? Talk about what I feel?” he asked on a low rumble, you nodded, “You just want to know me?” You nodded again.

“That’s all, I want to know the man I love. Not what he does, hears or where he goes. I just want to know you.” Please just let me know you, Sev…

“I, think I can do that.” You smiled at his hesitant words and understood that he would be struggling for a long time to put words on things he felt more often as he never did so before. But perhaps, you would at least get a glimpse this evening.

Severus always kept to himself, the dark and brooding type with secrets. Deep, dark, horrible secrets that were edged with pain or danger. Memories that he had hidden and kept hidden for years. That was the man you had fallen in love with but that was not the man you would stay in love for. That man was starting to show through. You listened intently as he softly and carefully began to talk about trivial emotions, small things really. But it was a start. 

So you leaned into him, relaxed and allowed him to stroke your arm, kiss the top of your head and lean his cheek against it after as his other hand grabbed onto the one you had had resting on his thigh. As the night drew on and you were closing in on dawn his grip on you tightened gradually, as if he was afraid you would leave as he let you hear about his dark secrets and tiny joyful moments. His past, his present, his hope for the future. A future he wanted to spend with you. 

Your hand held onto his a little tighter at that point.

“Severus, honey, there is no way I will let you have a future that I’m not in. I’m with you forever and always. As long as you let me be with you and love you, I will.” Your words made him shake with withheld emotions as he buried his hooked nose in your neck and inhaled a shaky breath that was strangled by a low sob.

“I love you, (y/n).” His breath warmed your skin before he kissed you gently at the junction of your neck and shoulder.

“And I love you, forever, Severus.” You held onto him as the first light of day shined in through the dirty windows and graced your tangled bodies with a golden light of hope. 

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 This wasn’t going to be good, you could almost immediately feel a shift. “Micha, what’s wrong?”

 You could hear his sigh, and the sound of his hand rubbing across his stubble. “We are.” Those two words crushed your soul. “I don’t love you anymore, Y/N.”

 You couldn’t breath, the room was spinning and you could feel the hot tears running down your face. The happy mood you’d been in long forgotten. “I. I don’t understand. I.”

 He sighed again. “I’m sorry. I just. I met someone else and I just don’t feel the same way I did about you.”

 There weren’t words to express how you felt, but your voice rose as a sudden anger bubbled up. “So our three years together was nothing? How can you just love someone one minute and then not love them the next. How long? How long have you been seeing someone else? Are you even really on a business trip? Oh my god.” You screamed the last word. Roger rushing in with a panicked look.

 Once again Micha sighed, you couldn’t tell if he was just tired of talking or if he just didn’t want to explain himself. “Yes I’m on a business trip. Our three years meant a lot to me, you mean a lot to me. I just don’t think I can keep pretending to be in love. And, we haven’t been seeing each other. Just talking. For about three months now.”

 That was the absolute breaking point because just last month he took you on a romantic weekend getaway and so many fun memories from the past three months have now been tainted with the knowledge that he wasn’t even fully with you, while you were only all about him. Roger quietly sat beside you, his face now sad at the sight of you crying.

 “Uh.” The silence has gone on too long. Your crying had become so hard it was silent. “I’ll be back in two months and I’ll stop by the house to get my things.” You didn’t respond, you couldn’t. You were broken. “I’m going to go. I’m sorry, again, for everything….Bye, Y/N”

 The moment the line went dead you collapsed into Roger.

 Micha walked towards the boxes with his name on them. “Thanks for getting it together for me.”

 “Ha. Thank Lola and Rufus.” You said, wishing they were here right now.

 “How are they?” He asked, lifting a box and setting it on the dolly he’d brought up with him.

 You sighed. Already mentally exhausted from holding yourself together. “Don’t. Just get your stuff and leave. Please.”

 “Okay.” He said softly, picking up another box. You stood silently at the door, arms crossed over yourself and teeth working your lip. Finally he stacked the last box and headed toward the door. “Y/N. I’m really, truly sorry.”

 You sighed, shaking your head. “I’d believe that more if you’d told me before you left. Instead you waited till you were 4,000 miles away and doing it over the phone. But, that was months ago, so I’m fine. Goodbye, Micha.”

 He dropped his head, setting his key on the table by the door, and walked out. “Have a good life. Okay?” He said, reaching for the door knob.

 “I will.” You said, pushing the door closed behind him and locking it. You spent the rest of the day crying in bed.

 The next morning was spent in bed. The text on your phone went unanswered, calls went to voicemail. You’d been okay. After the initial upset and heartbreak you thought you were getting better. But seeing him brought back memories and pain that you just couldn’t bring yourself to do anything.

 Eventually there was a soft knock on your bedroom door, followed by a soft voice. “Y/N?” It was Sarina.

 “You can come in.” You called, more like a croaked.

 The door slowly opened, revealing Sarina with a bag full of stuff. “Oh, dear.” She frowned, immediately climbing into the bed and pulling you into a hug. “I brought some sweets as well as some other goodies. I’ll stay here as long as you need.”

 You relaxed into her. Letting the comfort and love from her wash over you. “Thank you. I don’t really want to be alone.”

 “I know, dear. I know.”

 After a bit of her just talking about some of the plans Roger and Brian had discussed yesterday, and some ideas she had for the garden, you started to feel a bit better. Having your mind on other things was what helped you last time and it seemed to be working again. Even though you knew you wouldn’t feel completely okay for a while, it was nice to feel okay in the moment.

 “Thank you.” You said. You and Sarina were currently sitting at your dining room table eating a pizza. She’s spent almost the either day with you, watching Netflix, helping you with some laundry, just being there when you needed someone.

 She shook her head, reaching out and grabbing your hand. “Honey. You don’t need to thank me for anything. You’re like a daughter to me and Roger and we love you.”

 “I love you guys too. I might come back tomorrow. I don’t think sitting around will be good for me mentally.”

 “You do what you think is best for you dear.”

 She left shorty after dinner and you promised to see her in the morning.

—

 The moment you walked into the house you were greeted by the murp of Pixie.

 “Hello, pretty. Where’s mummy and daddy?” You asked, leaning down to pet the purring fluff ball.

 “Y/N?” You heard Rogers voice echo the halls. “In the kitchen!” Before joining him, you stopped by the office and grabbed your tablet. When you entered the kitchen, Roger was waiting with open arms. “Hello, dear.” He warped you in a big hug, kissing your cheek. “Sandwich?” He asked, pointing to the food still on the counter.

 “Sure, thank you.” As he worked, you worked through the emails you’d missed, responding to the ones that required an answer, then you checked the calendar. “Uh, Rog? What’s this party in two days? I don’t remember setting anything up.”

 He shook his head. “Just something Sar and I decided on last minute. The boys will be in town together for the first time in a bit and we wanted to have a little party.”

 “Oh‍. Well don’t have too much fun.” You laughed.

 “Why do you sound like you aren't going?” He raises an eyebrow at you as he set the plate down. “You aren’t going to be working it. Actually you won’t have any responsibility for it at all. We have everything set up and ready.” He sat beside you, giving you his ‘go for it’ look.

 You knew better than to fight him over something he had his mind set on. “Alright. At least fill me in on the catering and such.”

 Roger sat up straight and filled you in on the plans. One thing's for sure, Roger Taylor knows how to throw a party.

 When Sarina joined the two of you, she insisted on going shopping for a new outfit, and that you tag along. Then she insisted on buying you a new outfit as well.

 “Just let me treat you.” She huffed. You’d agreed to try on a dress, but when she offered to buy it you refused.

 “Sarina. No. I don’t need any dresses. I have plenty of options.” You looked over yourself once more. The dress really was nice, it hugged you just right and was the perfect length, not to mention the color looked perfect on you.

 Sarina appeared behind you, looking at you through the mirror. “Y/N. Darling. This is the first party where you not only get to enjoy yourself, but you’re single. You’ve had a rough couple of months and you deserve to have some fun.”

 She was right. At most parties you were too caught up making sure everything was right that you never got to enjoy yourself. And you were single, not quite ready to mingle, but ready to be able to maybe step out of your comfort zone. “Alright. I’ll take the dress.”

 Two days later you arrived to the house and were lead around back. There was music, lights, the amazing smell of food, and a decent amount of people. You were immediately pulled into a small group by Lola. It was nice to relax a bit. Dancing around and drinking. Not having to worry with the small details behind the scenes.

 After about an hour, the music stopped and Roger made his way on stage.

 “I’d like to thank everyone for coming! But, there’s one person I owe an apology too. Y/N.” He said and your breath caught. “I lied about the party. While you were off this week, Sarina and I realized that today marks five years that you’ve worked for us. So we wanted to celebrate. This party is for you dear. Thank you for everything you’ve done for us and thank you for being apart of our family. Now, everyone, enjoy the party.”

 You had a single tear fall down your face as Roger made his ways down to hug you. “You guys really didn’t have to do all this for me.”

 “Nonsense. You’ve done a lot for us and you’ve been through a lot the past few months and we wanted to show you that we appreciate you.” He gently lead you to a group of men that you recognized only from the movie and stories from set. “Boys!” Roger called gaining their attention. “I’d like you to officially meet Y/N.”

 They all turned their heads and you had a moment of star struckness. One by one they introduced themselves. Rami. Gwil. Joe. Then, Ben. The moment his green eyes met yours you froze. Everything went silent. It was like a scene from a romance movie where the actors get tunnel vision. His fingers were burning your hand as he shook it. You honestly weren’t sure you were breathing.

 There was something inside telling you this man was going to be extremely important to you. Something that, even though you enjoyed feeling it, made you uneasy. He was giving you a look that you couldn’t quit read. At first he looked shocked, then curious? Like he was feeling the same maybe and was trying to read your expressions.

 “I’m Ben.” He finally spoke, voice sending a chill over your entire body. He was still holding your hand. “Roger speaks very highly of you. It’s. It’s a pleasure to finally meet you.”

 “You too.” You stumbled out. You looked down at your joined hands, and when you looked back up to meet his eyes you pulled your hand back with wide eyes. “Um, excuse me.” You turned on your toes and quickly ducked further into the garden. Heart racing and the feeling of eyes on you.

 There was a ringing in your ears and a feeling in your chest you couldn’t quite describe. You needed to sit. So the moment you found a bench you were down with your face in your hands. Your mind was racing and you couldn’t get the image of Ben’s face out of your head.

 “Y/N?” Rogers voice pulled you from your thoughts. When you looked up at him he had a frown on his face. “Are you alright, love?”

 You nodded, then shook your head. “I don’t know.”

 “Let it out.” Roger said softly, sitting beside you and giving you his full attention.

 “I don’t know how to explain it? And it probably sounds crazy. But, I. You’re going to think I’m nuts.” You groaned. Taking a deep breath and squeezed your eyes shut.

 “You’re talking to the king of crazy.” He said a bit smug.

 “Okay. Okay. I felt, like I couldn’t breath? When I met his eyes everyone else was gone, and his hand,” you looked down at your own. “There was this feeling that made my hand tingle. So much happened at once that I can’t process it?”

 Roger let out a soft laugh and gently pulled you to him. “Pretty sure you just described love at first sight.”

 You shook your head. “No. It can’t. That’s not a real thing. And I’m not ready for a relationship. It’s too soon.”

 “Y/N. You just described what Brian did when he met Anita. It’s a real thing, love at first sight. And no one says that it has to turn immediately to a relationship. But if it does? It does. And fuck what everyone else thinks. No one but you can tell yourself when it’s time to move on.”

 “You’re right.” You sat up, whipping gently under your eye. “It’s just, kinda scary. It’s been a long time since I’ve even thought about anyone else but Micha.”

 Roger stood, grabbing your hand and slowly walked back toward the party. “I know. And you take as long as you need to recover from that heartache. But if you start to feel something for someone, go for it.”

 “Thank you, Roger.” You’d returned to the party. “I think I’ll go speak to Ben. Get to know him.”

 “I think he’d like that.” Roger smiled, kissing your hand and walking off toward Sarina. As you looked around, you spotted Ben standing at the bar, already looking at you.

 The butterflies in your stomach from this person you didn’t even know were odd, but exciting. As you made your way to him, he smirked, hiding it behind his drink. His eyes never left you though. And the look in his eyes did nothing to calm the butterflies but did give you some confidence.

 When you stopped in front of him, he sat up, smirk still on his face. You gave a huff. “I believe I owe you an apology. I shouldn’t have ran off. I, uh, I got a little freaked out.”

 “There’s nothing you need to apologize for. In all honesty, I almost ran off myself.” His voice gave you a slight chill again. His confession made you feel better about your own.

 “Is that so?”

 “It’s been a while since someone has made me as nervous as you did.” He set his drink down, turning his entire body in your direction. “So, you’ve worked with Roger for five years? Why didn’t we meet during the Bohemian Rhapsody stuff?”

 “I stuck around here. Helped Sarina with her stuff and helped Roger work out plans from home. But I hear I missed out on some fun shenanigans.”

 “How about a drink and some food and I’ll tell you about them?” He gave you a soft smile, nodding towards the catering table.

 Three hours later, the party was still in full swing. You and Ben has been sat at a table talking and laughing the entire time. He asked questions about your life and listened with full attention. He let you speak first and refilled your drink when you needed. He was the perfect gentleman. And the more you talked, the more you got to know him, the more you realized why Roger choose Ben to play him in the movie.

 The two of you were currently dancing to a slow song.

 “So earlier, you said Roger always spoke highly of me? How often did I get brought up?” You tilted your head back to look at Ben’s face.

 “Truthfully a lot. He always talked about how amazing of an assistant you are and how fast you work to get things done. He even said you were like a daughter to him. But he did fail to mention just how beautiful you are. Also Rufus and Lola and Sarina all spoke about you as well, much the same as Roger. At the wrap party they were bragging about what a good job you did. Which makes me wonder how we never crossed paths there.”

 You shrugged. “I spent a lot of my time behind the scenes. These parties aren’t easy. This is actually the first one I’ve not had responsibility over. Roger always tried to get me to relax and enjoy them but if even one thing goes wrong then more goes wrong.”

 “I get it. I get stressed putting together birthday parties. I couldn’t imagine throwing one this big.”

 “It’s definitely a task. But worth every minute of it.” The song changed and Ben linked his fingers with yours, leading you toward toward where you had run earlier. Neither of you spoke, just enjoying the breeze, stars, and the warmth from each others hands. When Ben finally stopped, it was at Freddie’s statue.

 “Amazing isn’t it.” His voice was almost a whisper. “I’d give anything to have the chance to meet him.”

 “Me too. Roger and Brian have so many amazing stories.” You let go of Ben’s hand and flipped a switch hiding beside the tree, turning on the lights to illuminate the statue. Then you walked back to Ben, positioning yourself under his waiting arm. “He was definitely one of a kind.”

 The two of you grew quiet again. But it didn’t feel awkward. You actually felt much more comfortable around this person you’d just met then you did around Micha. You’d only been talking for a few hours but you already felt like you’d know Ben for years.

 There were footsteps behind you, then Joe appeared. “Sorry to interrupt but we’re heading out.” He gave a smile then turned back toward the party.

 Ben pulled you closer. “I really don’t want to leave. I feel like there’s so much more for us to talk about. I’d really like to see you again Y/N. If that’s okay.”

 You nodded, placing a hand on his chest and looking up at him. “I’d love that. How about lunch tomorrow? There’s a lovely cafe down the street from my apartment.”

 Ben smiled and you for sure thought you’d fall over with how beautiful it was. “That sounds like a wonderful plan. Here.” He dug in his pocket, pulling his phone out. “Put your number in and I’ll text you mine.”

 You did as he asked, adding an octopus emoji beside your name. A moment after you handed it back your phone buzzed.

 Unknown: you’re incredibly beautiful

 “So are you.” You whispered, glad to hide the goofy grin on your face while saving his number.

 The two of you walked back toward the house, talking and giggling the entire way back. The first thing you noticed was the music had stopped and the crowd had thinned. You could see Roger and Sarina looking your way, whispering to each other with smiles on their faces.

 “Well.” Ben said, coming to a stop at the gate. “I believe this is where we part ways?” He was swinging your linked hands between the two of you.

 “Sadly. But I’ll text you details about lunch tomorrow?”

 The intensity of his stare made you weak and you wondered what was going through his mind. “Sounds like a date.” He leaned forward, your breath caught and you had a momentary freak out as he turned his head and pressed his lips to your cheek. The immediate heat took over your entire body. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Y/N.”

 “I’ll see you tomorrow, Ben.” You confirmed, hand holding his till the last minute. Your other hand made its way to your cheek. The ghostly feeling of his lips still tingling. When he turned to wave, he too had his hand to his face, gently touching his lips. In that moment you knew he was feeling the same thing you were.

 When you joined Roger and Sarina, Lola and Rufus were there too, all smiling at you.

 “What?” You asked, taking a seat and stealing Rufus’s drink.

 “You’ve not looked this happy in months sis.” Rufus responded, grabbing his drink back.

 “Honestly I’ve not felt this happy in months.” You confessed.

 “Well, tell us everything.” Lola laughed, tossing a chip crumb at you.

 “We have a date for lunch tomorrow.” You shrugged.

 Lola jumped up and wrapped her fingers around your wrist. “I’m coming home with you and I’m helping you get ready!”

 She pulled you up and toward the house. Before you got too far you turned, nodding at Roger and mouthing “thank you”. He gave a nod and a wink, knowing exactly what you were thanking him for.

 That night, just before you fell asleep, your phone chimed.

 Ben: can’t wait to see you tomorrow, sweet dreams x

Tags

Everything: @hermionedeservesbetterthanron @kaylzjordan @hiyadarlingirl @unlikelysamwinchesteronahunt

Ben&Rog: @screaminggalileochickenwrites @thesecondlastjedi

Ben: @obliviatevamps

They both giggled then Kyra spoke again, leaning back.

"How was your day, doctor?"

"I'm quite sure that was my line? Except for doctor"

"I know, I know, here it's always the other way round. And by now almost all the nurses of this floor or well, half of them as well as a couple of doctors know how my day was, how I'm doing and so on. But I wonder if sometimes patients remember to ask you how your day was. If you're okay. You wear scrubs but you're human too so here we are. How was your day, Dr. Valentine?"

Meredith sighed but managed to give her a tired smile.

"It was a long day. This competition is getting tougher than I expected-"

"Gordon is giving you a hard time?" Kyra inquired.

"Gordon?" the intern frowned her burrows.

"Ramsey" the young woman explained. "I wonder if they're related. I'll make sure to ask him one day"

"Oh my god, I wasn't expecting this" Meredith burst out laughing.

"Well, the other day I saw him roasting one of your friends, that blond guy..."

"Landry?"

"Yeah, Chicken Little"

Meredith laughed even louder this time: she had always found a resemblance between the two of them but never dared to say it out loud.

"Did you assign a nickname to everyone?"

"Almost, my favorites are Cinnamon Roll, the braided-haired girl...Sienna, right?"

Meredith nodded in confirmation.

"Gosh she's adorable! And so is Wonder Man, aka..."

"Elijah"

"That's him! He stops by too every now and then. Oh and how can I forget your boss! She waved at me the other day, I was so excited!"

"Hold on! Did you give Dr. Harper Emery a nickname? That Harper Emery?"

"It's Beyoncé in my book"

"Beyoncé?" Meredith repeated, barely stifling a laugh.

"I don't know, she gives me this 'Who run the world' vibe" Kyra explained, striking a Beyoncé pose.

"It's safe to say I'll never look at the Chief of Medicine the same way" the intern chuckled.

"You're telling me you never thought that? You disappoint me, doctor" Kyra mocked a shocked face.

"Anything else, nickname generator?"

"Well, there's also Rhianna"

"Rihanna?"

"Low knot, raven hair, incinerating gaze...don't know her name?"

"Oh it must be Jackie then. But why Rihanna?"

After a moment, they answered at the same time.

"Because all she is care about is work work work work"

They were still laughing when Kyra's phone beeped twice on her nightstand. She grabbed it and checked the notification. A smile formed on her lips.

"It's Jazmín, my sister. She sent me a picture of my nephew" Kyra showed the intern the screen of her phone. "Here, look."

A kid of four or five was standing in front of an aquarium, hands and eyes glued to the glass as a man -his dad probably- was squatted beside him pointing at a colorful tropical fish.

Meredith involuntarily read the message attached to it. "Lots of fun at the aquarium! Just wish you were here too, sis". She felt a pang of sadness.

"He's my amazing nephew, Luis. He's so little yet so smart, you should see him! Now he's into aquarium stuff: I talked to him last week and he said that he wants to study fishes. I guess he means marine biology"

They both chuckled.

"He seems a fine little man, are you two close?" the intern asked, handing back the phone.

"Of course we are! He's just a little sad we've been seeing each other less than usual lately but we're good" Kyra answered, smiling weakly.

Then all of a sudden her face brightened as she sat up on the bed, slowly moving towards the edge.

"And to prove you I'm the best auntie ever, woman of poor faith...let me get my suitcase-"

Meredith immediately stood and gently guided her back.

"Don't get up, I'll do it!"

The intern flashed the young woman a bright professional smile. Kyra returned it.

"As much as a gorgeous doctor deeply concerned over my wellbeing makes all my Grey's Anatomy's dreams come true, I can still stand, you know that, right Dr. Valentine? I literally have to stand and walk across the room to reach the bathroom so-"

Meredith placed a hand on her shoulder, the reassuring smile still lingering on her face.

"I know, but now I'm here and I'm more than happy to help. And you sure rest, by the way: Dr. Valentine's order" she insisted with a final wink. "Will you concede me this time?"

Kyra dramatically sighed and adjusted the bed. A hint of a blush on her cheeks.

"Okay, okay, you win this, doctor. But only because I don't want you to lose sleep over the missed chance of knowing my best auntie secret"

"Very much appreciated, Kyra. My sleeping schedule's pretty messed up already"

Meredith placed a floral painted trolley at the end of the hospital bed and Kyra unzipped it. As she rummaged into it, the intern moved her chair closer.

"Here" Kyra announced triumphantly.

The young woman turned and proudly showed a fluffy cheetah plushie.

"It's a gift from Louis. It comes straight from the Philadelphia zoo shop" she explained, handing it to the doctor "my sweet little man gave it to me because...well, there's a story behind this gift. I've always been into sports: a cheerleader in college, player of the softball team at college, the one who goes for a morning jog every day and eats healthy...when I graduated I took some training and became an aerial yoga teacher. In the meantime, I started to make quite a reputation in bike races. Amateur competitions, obviously, but I was quite good: I even got an offer to join a professional team once"

Kyra took an old article showing a picture of a younger self rising a small cup on the top of a podium.

"Read the title"

"'Kyra 'Cheetah' Santana is on her way to stardom'" Meredith read "'Quite good' is definitely an understatement Kyra! You rocked! And...aww, he bought you that plushie because it was your nickname?"

"Yeah, I was 'as fast as a cheetah'" the young woman beamed before putting the article away. "Long story short, one month after that race I started being sick. Went to the doctor and...well, the rest is history, I guess"

"My god, I'm so sorry, Kyra" the intern frowned and reached for Kyra's hand.

Kyra shrugged and gave her a weak smile.

"Don't be, shit happens, right? When I got my diagnosis when I heard the word 'cancer'...I felt the world crumbling under my feet. Luckily Jazmín, Robert and Luis were there. They immediately came when I told my sis what was going on. A few days later we went to the zoo to take my mind off things if it makes any sense and they got me this plushie. I had a cheetah toy but sadly I lost it during a relocation. So they got me this little cuteness because the previous one always brought me good luck. And 'even if you don't race now, you'll always be our Cheetah'"

"That was so thoughtful and sweet of them" Meredith commented as a lump formed in her throat.

"Yes. They will come visit next week to celebrate me getting out of here. No offense!" they both laughed before Kyra squeezed the doctor's hand and met her gaze.

"What I meant to say earlier...is that I'm fine. So much changes when you become sick: people start seeing you as an ill person and nurse you around all the time. And it's frustrating, you know? Sometimes you need help but when you don't, it's disappointing to see they don't change. When you become 'a patient', when you get some serious illness, all you want is a cure, obviously, but also to be reminded that you're still a person. That your previous self isn't gone and dead. Metaphorically...gosh you also get some morbid humor!"

"I get it, Kyra. At least I think I do" Meredith said, rubbing the back of her hand with her thumb. "It's perfectly understandable and I'm sorry if I was insensitive, even without meaning it. I just...I guess you could say I care for you, that's all".

The intern diverted her eyes, her cheeks blushing slightly. Kyra's gaze softened as she spoke again:

"Aw, can I get a hug, Dr. Valentine?"

Meredith looked back at her. Then she stood and pulled the young woman into a hug, gently stroking her back. Kyra contently rested her head on the intern's shoulder and snaked her arms around her waist. She could feel the doctor's heart racing against her chest as they lingered in the unexpected embrace. After a moment she whispered: "I'm gonna be fine, Meredith. The doctor smiled when he visited me: you guys smile when things are okay, right? Worry not, I'm stronger than I look"

"I know you are, Kyra" Meredith said, pulling back to look her in the eye. "I never doubted it"

The patient smiled at her.

"I don't know if I'm overstepping but you're not my doctor so...why don't you join us on our family party? If you're not busy obviously! Your wondrous friends can come along too if they feel like celebrating too"

"I'd love to. Text me the address, you have my numb-"

As if on cue Kyra's phone started beeping again.

"I guess that's my cue" Meredith smiled apologetically. "But first, this".

She carefully placed the plushie into the suitcase and picked a little notebook out of her pocket. She quickly wrote something and handed it to Kyra.

"My number. For emergencies or parties only" she winked.

"Duly noted, doc" Kura mocked a salute, giggling.

The intern headed towards the door but stopped before crossing the threshold. She turned back to the sweet patient.

"Hold on, you never told me what's my nickname! You assigned one to everyone, I'm pretty sure I have one too"

Kyra playfully raised an eyebrow to her.

"Smart girl. Of course you have one too, d'uh! Don't tell me you haven't figured it out yet"

Meredith furrowed her brows concentrating but couldn't find an answer.

"You had a long day, you should get some rest too: it's Kyra's order" the girl commented, smiling affectionately.

Meredith was about to wish Kyra a good night when the other woman spoke again: