#nonbinary tips

Masc

Femme

Warm

these are kinda just things I wish I knew when I first realized I was trans :)

1. you can wear “feminine”  things and still pass!! ive seen trans mascs wear skirts before and still pass as a male/masculine. (/srs) dont be afraid to wear feminine things, I know that for me, in the beginning I thought I had to be 100% masculine “big man much masculine, such boy” in order to pass and in order for my identity to be respected, but that just isnt true!! you wouldnt expect that of a cis guy, dont expect it of yourself :) dont be hard on urself!!!! pls! you can paint your nails, dye ur hair, have long hair, wear makeup, ect, and still pass! 

-also though, note that passing dosent have to be important to you if you truly dont care for it! its more about whether or not you are comfortable and you feel validated, not whether or not some stranger on the street sees you as a boy. Again, you dont have to feel like passing is super important to you if it isnt 

2. THERE ARE T O N S of ways to bind! some of these ways include; trans/KT tape, sports bras, (Gc2B binders are no longer making safe binders! Try buying from Spectrum or fytist! DO NOT, i repeat, DO NOT! USE! ACE! BANDAGES!!!) before I could get a binder, I used compression sports bras and it worked like a charm! Keep in mind Im not the biggest chested, but Im not small either. A good thing about compression sports bras is your parents probably wont be suspicious of you if you ask for sports bras, even if it dosent compress all the way I find that it gets rid of tons of dysphoria in comparison to a normal bra. some sports bras may have padding that pushes ur chest up/ makes it look bigger though so you may want to remove the padding. 

3. do not feel like you cant play around with labels/identities! for me, I at first identified as FtM/ a trans guy, and after a while I realized I was non binary but it took a lot of courage for me to actually come out! it isnt a bad thing to play with labels and learn about yourself, if you think its gonna make you more comfortable, then go for it dude :)

4. if you have the money to buy a binder but you dont want your parents to see the package, you can have it shipped to a friends house and pick it up there :) you could also get a full tank binder or even a half tank binder and tell your parents its a “cool & trendy tank top,”

-additionally if you are worried abt ur binder showing and people thinking its a bra, if you get a color like white, black, or gray (or any color that isnt skin tone) it can pass off as an under shirt, and if anyone asks you can just say its a tank top ;) 

5. PRACTICE. BINDER. SAFETY. If you are binding AT ALL, in ANY way shape or form, you want to practice binder safety!! dont sleep in your binder, make sure your measurements are the right measurements, dont work out or do strenuous physical activity in your binder, and DO. NOT. DOUBLE. BIND. also dont bind for more than 8hrs, you can take binder breaks, and also when youre new to binding work urself up to being used to wearing binders :) try stretching before and after you wear your binder! You may be sore in the beginning so heating pads / blankets could help!

6. you dont have to look a certain way to be trans. you dont have to be skinny to be trans, you dont have to be white to be trans, you dont have to be anything to be trans. trans dosent have a specific look to it, and everyones expirence with their gender is unique. you are so incredibly valid <3

-side note: for my non-binary folk, you do not owe anyone androgyny. Dress how you want!!

7. if your parents wont let you get mens boxers, you can get womens boxers! they honestly look the same

8. remember youre so incredibly valid and loved or else I will make u remember because you are so valid dude i see u and ily /p

9. there are ways to get the illusion of a flat chest without binding at all! overalls can make your chest look flat, jean jackets/vests can also do this but additonally they can make your shoulders look more square/ broader. graphic tee’s, and big sweaters could do the trick too. sometimes I roll my sleeves up to give a more masculine look. those like drug rug hoodies are life savers. Oversized is good but one or two sizes up will do.

10. for bottoms, skinny jeans can make you look more masculine, but also mom jeans & boyfriend jeans, can work too if you cant buy mens jeans. sweatpants are not only comfortable, but can make you look more masculine. if you want to wear shorts, try wearing longer shorts, like maybe cargo shorts?? or something of that nature. Cargo pants in general always make me feel super masc. calf lengh socks could help, too. some shoes may make your feet look bigger, or even add on height and make you taller. they make things to put in your shoe to make yourself taller. 

11. if your parents wont let you get a “boy haircut” you can either ask for a layered, shoulder length haircut ( the shag / wolf haircut that has been kinda trendy lately) then style it and stuff it in a beanie, or not if you dont want to, or you can ask for your sides shaved like an undercut. that way they feel like you still have long hair, but you get your short hair with the shaved sides that you can always stuff into a beanie. layered haircuts can be seen as more masculine, so even if your hair isnt super short you can make it look really masculine :) (but also if your parents say no boy hair you can try asking until they say yes or asking for your birthday or something) you can show them photos of fem presenting people with the haircut you want and say that it isnt a “boys haircut,” that its “trendy” especially during the summer time you can have the excuse of “its hot out and this haircut would make me overheat less ” 

be nonbinary

But I finally took a step and got men's underwear. Well. Uh.

Boy's actually. I'm tiny and they were cheap (also, they have some dinosaurs and my childhood dreams were realized.)

And god damn boxer briefs fit better than any pair of women's underwear I've worn and they have dinosaurs. I don't have much control over what my whole body shape situation is, but let me tell you the boy's clothes section is where it is at for finding masculine clothes.

Seriously, I'm under 5 foot 5, weigh 111 pounds and boys large and up fits so much better than a lot of men's smalls (but extra small tends to be ok).

So uh, tip for my trans guys or more masculine nb pals out there who run on the smaller side. I see you.

Zipped up leather jackets can work as a way to hide your chest if you can't wear a binder or don't have one

Ponytails. Ponytails. Ponytails. For everyone dysphoric about longer hair and can't cut it either because parents or all this COVID stuff or both. I haven't had my hair down for longer than to brush it in at least a month.

Sweaters that can hide a binder? I haven't taken my off longer than to wash it in a month

For those with chest dysphoria, slow and steady down the stairs. I know how dysphoric that is when you go down the stairs fast without a binder.

Try drawing yourself how you want to look. It helped me a lot visualizing at least a little of what you want of yourself.

Just because you never noticed the dysphoria or how you were outside the gender you were assigned at birth before, doesn't make you any less valid. Repression is a hell of a tool that your brain does use