At 36 weeks, I was already 5 cm dilated. Everyone was convinced my baby was coming early. I felt so ready — physically, emotionally, mentally. But at my 37-week checkup, I was told I had gone backwards to 4 cm. I didn’t even know that could happen. I felt crushed, confused, and honestly just done with being pregnant.

They scheduled me to be induced on July 8th, so I was trying to be patient and hang in there. But baby had his own plans.

Then in the early hours of Saturday, July 5th, around 2 a.m., I started having horrible contractions. Not the cute kind. The real, painful, can’t-breathe-through-it kind. I climbed into a warm bath hoping it would calm things down, labored there for about an hour, but nope — the pain only got worse. The bath didn’t help at all.

I was exhausted, so I told myself to just try to go back to sleep — even though my body was screaming. By 6 a.m., my mom (who I was staying with) saw how much pain I was in and decided it was time. She took me to the hospital.

They checked me…

7 cm. I couldn’t believe it. I went from 4 to 7 on my own. Finally, progress. The doctor decided to break my water right then and there.

I labored naturally with no epidural — that was something I had set my mind on from the beginning. I did get IV pain meds, but they honestly didn’t do much for the pain. They just made me feel loopy, like I was floating in and out of my own body.

I labored until about 12:50 p.m., and then I started pushing. I gave it everything I had, At 1:41 p.m., my beautiful baby boy was born.

7 lbs 12 oz, 18 ½ inches long.. 💙 I pushed for just under an hour.

But the delivery wasn’t easy.

I ended up needing two internal incisions, and they had to cut me to make sure he didn’t get stuck. Then I started hemorrhaging. I lost one full liter of blood. It got really serious, really fast. The doctor was struggling to get the bleeding under control. They had the OR on standby and a blood transfusion ready. My fiancé’s face… my mom’s face… I’ll never forget the fear I saw in their eyes. It shattered me.

I was terrified. In the moment, I didn’t even care that I had just had a baby — all I could think about was if I was going to be okay, if I was going to make it home with him.

But somehow, some way… the doctor stopped the bleeding. He saved me. I didn’t have to go into surgery. I didn’t need the transfusion.

Now here we are. My baby is 11 days old today. I still look at him and can’t believe he’s mine. I still look at myself and can’t believe I survived that.

And now — somehow, some way — here we are. My baby is 11 days old today. I still can’t believe it sometimes. I carried him. I brought him into the world. I still look at myself and can’t believe I survived that.

Birth isn’t always peaceful or empowering or easy. Sometimes it’s messy, traumatic, and terrifying. Sometimes it pushes you to the edge — emotionally, physically, spiritually. it also brings you the kind of love that cracks your soul wide open. But no matter how hard, how messy, how traumatic — I’d do it again for him.