#noaatua

Dora: PLs tell me uve been rpacitving over winter break, Auta. Or I'll shave yuo.

Kally: You know I'm bored if I'm curious enough to ask, but did you ever have any luck on getting those dick pics from Phil?

Mary Kate: I swear Professor Slughorn is out to get me. Not only did I PUT MYSELF TO SLEEP for like 6 hours when I accidentally blew up my Wiggenweld Potion, but now he gave me detention for it! MORNING detention! And I'm all by myself degnoming Professor Hagrid's stupid garden, ughhhhhhhhhhhhh save me.

Mal: Okay, are we the ONLY two people in this house who think it's fine to skip class? Because Winter Skellington threatened to take points off earlier and 'tell the appropriate people' that I was skipping Divination. Seriously??? What is wrong with people? The Sorting Hat didn't tell me I was getting stuck in a house full of goody-goodies when it sent me to Slytherin.

Phil: Does Dora get mad at your team when you crack your necks, too, or is that an honor reserved for me as her brother? Because it's sometimes the only thing that'll help me fall asleep, but then I get this mental image of her springing awake angrily in the Slytherin dorms, like she can sense I'm doing it from halfway across the castle.

Cal: You're good with girls, right? How do you ask one to spend next weekend with you in Hogsmeade and make sure she knows it's a date? And like... what do you do when you accidentally walk under mistletoe? Do you draw attention to it because you really want to kiss her, or do you just hope that she notices it first? Does crossing your fingers really work to bring luck in those kinds of situations? Should I wear deep pockets so I can cross my fingers the whole time and hope for the best?

SEND A SYMBOL FOR A TEXT FROM MY MUSE!

Blake: I'm warning you like three months in advance so that you can't hex me, but I totally just plan on using the Slytherin vs. Ravenclaw game to check out all the hot people on both teams and not to actually help you scope out the competition.