Zhiwei's fatal flaw in the tv show is she WANTS Ning Yi to boss her and tell her he is taking her away to be with him forever. She gives him about a billion chances to demand she go with him to give her an excuse to say yes and take a bit of the weird guilt she has off her plate about how badly she needs to be with him.
But Ning Yi's fatal flaw is he WANTS her to have agency, he does not want to force her to do *anything*, and he wants to make sure that when she makes choices that they are HER choices and what SHE wants because if she ever came back later and said something was his fault or that he forced her somehow, he would never be able to forgive himself nor live with himself, even if she was purely gaslighting him at any stage. He doesn't want any of that.
But she can't make a fucking choice about this one thing- give her literally anything else on this earth to have an opinion about and she'll be ready. But when it comes to Ning Yi and the bullshit everyone around them has put them through, she can't think straight and for once wants him to just think for the both of them, but he refuses to drive for her- she must do it herself.
I get both perspectives about this. I do. But I find it peak fucking frustrating that these two can just never somehow meet in the goddamn middle. They are, quite literally, the king and queen of schemes, cunning, and tricks but fucking compromising on not even *how* to live together but just on having an excuse to say YES to living together is fucking beyond them. Suddenly when faced with it, they both lose their crowns, they are whittled down to only half a brain cell between them, and that half a brain cell usually gets borrowed by Ning Yi's guard Ning Cheung who has to somehow tolerate listening to these idiots sob stupidly at each other while he stands outside to make sure they both don't die because if one of them DID die, the other would go on an insane suicide mission of vengeance and then he'd be out of a job!!
Anyway, I have deduced that this, here, is the crux of the issue, the core of the problem. Tbh they should just have flipped a coin, and either abided by what it said or ignored it- either way I think it would have given them their excuse so we could all be done with it already.