They. Get.it
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They. Get.it

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John's speech was so painful it made me forget about my visceral reaction to J.M
god the way that charlie kirk looked like the elf from the Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer stop motion….
I have another.
I don't know why I keep making these....
i feel like i need to say that mika is one of my fave non caps players, and is far and above my favorite rangers player since lundquist’s retirement. however comma. i really wish he had never done that thing LOL

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i have a question about your rhyming is hard descendants fic (which is so lovely by the way, your writing is so snappy and captivating) — if there’s no death on the isle, when did the rest of the rotten four’s (other) parents die, apart from jay’s mom? was it before their imprisonment?
ooh thanks for asking!
I actually went back to read the fic again before answering this, because my headcanons for how their other parents died can change a lot depending on what I'm writing!
For Rhyming Is Hard, I had some very specific headcanons in mind:
First off, the rhyme they're using interprets "parents" as birth parents, the biological contributors of each child who was within range when the spell was cast. The magic mirror is a bit more literal with spell requests than, say, Mal's spellbook, because unlike the spellbook, the mirror has more of a will of it's own. Sort of a genie-lite vibe, because while it can't make things go wrong, and it doesn't really feel malicious about how it interprets spells, it'll jump to the most literal possible interpretation of a rhyme by default.
Second, as I said in the fic itself, there's a couple ways to die on the isle, despite the best efforts of the barrier. (forgive my formatting here)
“I thought the spell prevented that?” Ben asks curiously. “The spell was supposed to prevent anyone from dying under the barrier.” Jay snaps his head up to look at Ben, and if his eyes are a little red, well, nobody else is close enough to notice. “The spell doesn’t work all the time,” he explains, voice low and even. “You can get around it if you destroy the body. Scatter the remains, or burn them beyond what the spell can handle, or let the sharks deal with you. People who really want that way out usually go with the sharks.”
So, all the ways that you can die on the isle rely on destroying the body before the barrier spell can kick in and bring it back. Sort of an Osiris method. Scattering, burning, and being eaten by sharks (or theoretically any other large enough and hungry enough carnivore) all adequately destroy the body before the barrier spell can kick in and bring them back.
So! For the kid's parents, here's the rundown:
Mal has two living parents. Maleficent is chilling in her castle being evil, and Hades is slowly expanding his cave, which he moved into after abandoning his restaurant that we see in the background of D2 that one time.
Jay's mother, as stated in the fic, committed suicide by sharks rather than continue to live with Jafar. As an important side note, in this and most other of my fics unless otherwise stated, Jay's mother is one of the Huns from Mulan who was sent to the isle for supporting Shan Yu in his takeover attempt. Her relationship with Jafar is contentious at best, and she....didn't necessarily want a kid. Take that one as dark as you will.
Evie's father (biological, as per the terms of the spell) was killed in her mother's dungeon. The Evil Queen has more than enough resources to brew traditional poisons, even on the isle, and my personal headcanon for this fic is that after Evie reached an age where her mother was pretty sure she'd survive, she killed Evie's father by chaining him up and testing how much piranha solution she could slowly drip on him before the solution overtook the barrier's healing factor. Once she'd gotten the amounts figured out, she used him as a test subject until she found a solution that would dissolve flesh, but leave bones behind.
(Evie is the reason I specify biological parents here - I love the idea that the Evil Queen had a relationship with the huntsman, and if he was on the isle, I don't think she would have killed him or used him to have a child. I think she would have kept him around as a sort of pet, and he might have been almost a father figure to Evie if that's something I ever feel like exploring more).
Carlos's father was skinned so that he could be made into the finest, softest human leather, and the rest of his body was burned before the barrier spell could kick in and bring him back. There's a wood stove in Hell Hall, after all, and it gets cold on those long dark isle nights after they've run out of wood and trash to burn. (sort of a Ms. Lovett vibe, but with marginally less cannibalism and lot more nightmares about the oven set from the current broadway run).
Deputy Gerda has a nightmare in IRL...and it's name is Erik Ahlberg.