#nicuwarrior

March 26th 2020 i found out i was going to be having a baby. I had been praying for a reason, for direction, for a light in my life.. and 2 months early on October 13th 2020 at 5:53 PM I had my beautiful baby girl. We were both very sick and high risk, and even as little as she was (3lbs 7oz), Piper was healthier than me. **tiny fighter** She remained in the NICU for a month, and i made the drive (an hour 20min there, an hour 20min home) with my mom helping me get to and from until i was cleared to drive, the rest of the time i made the drive everyday. The month that Piper was in the NICU, I had to make some very hard choices, one being the choice to leave her father because the relationship was abusive,and my family went through some very hard things outside of Pipers delivery as well, my dad was in a constriction accident and lost some fingers. Piper had a brain bleed due to my severe pre-eclampsia. it caused a blockage in her brain and trapped spinal fluid inside the ventricles. She was expected to likely be impaired, and delayed in most development. 6 months after the diagnosis of hydrocephalus, Pipers condition had healed somehow without medical intervention, and she was developing ahead of her gestational age. the doctors said “we can’t really explain it other than she is very very lucky.”. It’s absolutely no exaggeration to say that Piper saved my life. Ask my parents, ask my sisters. She lit up everything for me. Not only did Piper save my life, she brought me home from a really bad emotionally abusive situation. and coming home allowed me to get out, get the medic help i needed and have a stable place for my daughter and i to be.Piper is the strongest person i have ever met, and she’s only a year old. She is determined, she’s smart, she’s fiesty, she LOVES MUSIC and will jump or bang her head or dance to almost anything with a good beat. She loves cats, specifically mine. her first words were “kitty kitty” Piper adores our family and for SOME REASON she thinks i hung the moon. But to me.. she is my moon. i say this because, Piper lit up my life from such a dark place that i didn’t feel like i had any hope. She gave my live rhythm and routine, balance and more than anything, she gave me joy. Whereas before, i didn’t really have. Piper gave me a light not only at the end of the tunnel (that i knew wasn’t a train) but also lanterns throughout the whole tunnel too. This first year of being a mother to such an incredible girl has been the biggest blessing of my life. I could not be more grateful to be able to have such an experience, to grow and heal and learn so much.. i could not be more thankful for this little life that i get to watch grow into someone more and more incredible every single day. Piper, i love you more than you’ll probably ever know. You might a little bit someday if you choose to have babies of your own. You are the most wonderful thing that has ever come into my life. You are the biggest blessing i could’ve hoped for. What a blessing it is to be a tiny someone’s everythg. Happy first birthday baby. i love you so much Piper Ann. Of course piper overload pics

update for those of y’all who know me personally and watch for piper posts…

my baby is standing independently. she just hold on to my fingers because she hasn’t taken her first steps yet. she’ll be walking soon🤍

this NICU time won’t last forever. it’ll feel like it.. but it won’t be forever.

Dua hari pasca operasi, tak menghiraukan nyeri bekas jahitan, aku sudah mondar-mandir di ruangan ini. Di sini, waktu berbisik pelan. Detik lambat berlalu di antara deru mesin penopang hidup para malaikat kecil.

Kamu begitu kecil, namun begitu kuat. Jari mungilmu menggenggam udara. Matamu terpejam, tapi aku tahu, kamu sedang bermimpi tentang rumah.

Monitor berbunyi seperti nyanyian sunyi. Setiap denyut adalah doa, setiap tarikan napas adalah kemenangan, setiap hari adalah mukjizat. Malam-malamku panjang tak tenang. Setiap pagi ku gantungkan harapan berharap kabar baik datang.

Di ujung lorong itu, di ruangan sebelah tempatmu berjuang, ada ruang laktasi yang menyatukan ibu-ibu yang juga sedang berjuang, dengan kisah dan luka masing-masing. ASI menjadi wujud cinta kami, yang diperah di antara air mata, doa, dan harapan. Dari satu cerita ke cerita lain, aku belajar bahwa setiap orang sedang bertempur di medan perjuangannya masing-masing.

Menangis sudah menjadi kegiatanku sehari-hari. Di ruang laktasi, di kamar inap penunggu, di lorong depan NICU, pun di kantin rumah sakit. Nasi sering kali terasa asin karena bercampur air mata. Meski hati ini sering hancur, ASI untuk mu harus tercukupi. Namun setiap kali aku duduk di sampingmu, aku berusaha menahan semua tangis itu. Aku ingin kamu melihat kekuatan di mataku, bukan air mata.

Kamu sesekali menatapku. Bayi yang lahir cukup bulan saja belum jelas penglihatannya, apalagi kamu yang lahir tujuh minggu lebih cepat dari seharusnya. Kamu menangis, namun saat itu aku belum berani menggendongmu, takut menyakitimu.

Tubuhmu yang mungil sesekali menggeliat di boks bayi. Tanganmu lebam oleh bekas infus, sonde terpasang di mulut kecilmu. Aku duduk di sampingmu, menitipkan cinta pada jemarimu, berharap kamu tahu, Nak, kami menunggumu. Cintaku..

Terima kasih Yaa Allah, atas setiap keajaiban yang Engkau berikan.

Terima kasih sudah berjuang, Nak. Terima kasih sudah kuat.

It’s called Necrotizing Enterocolitis—and it can be fatal if not caught in time. Premature babies are most at risk. This article covers everything NICU parents, nurses, and supporters should know. 📌 revisiontown.com/necrotizing-enterocolitis-nec-in-newborns-causes-symptoms-and-treatment