#1yearold

March 26th 2020 i found out i was going to be having a baby. I had been praying for a reason, for direction, for a light in my life.. and 2 months early on October 13th 2020 at 5:53 PM I had my beautiful baby girl. We were both very sick and high risk, and even as little as she was (3lbs 7oz), Piper was healthier than me. **tiny fighter** She remained in the NICU for a month, and i made the drive (an hour 20min there, an hour 20min home) with my mom helping me get to and from until i was cleared to drive, the rest of the time i made the drive everyday. The month that Piper was in the NICU, I had to make some very hard choices, one being the choice to leave her father because the relationship was abusive,and my family went through some very hard things outside of Pipers delivery as well, my dad was in a constriction accident and lost some fingers. Piper had a brain bleed due to my severe pre-eclampsia. it caused a blockage in her brain and trapped spinal fluid inside the ventricles. She was expected to likely be impaired, and delayed in most development. 6 months after the diagnosis of hydrocephalus, Pipers condition had healed somehow without medical intervention, and she was developing ahead of her gestational age. the doctors said “we can’t really explain it other than she is very very lucky.”. It’s absolutely no exaggeration to say that Piper saved my life. Ask my parents, ask my sisters. She lit up everything for me. Not only did Piper save my life, she brought me home from a really bad emotionally abusive situation. and coming home allowed me to get out, get the medic help i needed and have a stable place for my daughter and i to be.Piper is the strongest person i have ever met, and she’s only a year old. She is determined, she’s smart, she’s fiesty, she LOVES MUSIC and will jump or bang her head or dance to almost anything with a good beat. She loves cats, specifically mine. her first words were “kitty kitty” Piper adores our family and for SOME REASON she thinks i hung the moon. But to me.. she is my moon. i say this because, Piper lit up my life from such a dark place that i didn’t feel like i had any hope. She gave my live rhythm and routine, balance and more than anything, she gave me joy. Whereas before, i didn’t really have. Piper gave me a light not only at the end of the tunnel (that i knew wasn’t a train) but also lanterns throughout the whole tunnel too. This first year of being a mother to such an incredible girl has been the biggest blessing of my life. I could not be more grateful to be able to have such an experience, to grow and heal and learn so much.. i could not be more thankful for this little life that i get to watch grow into someone more and more incredible every single day. Piper, i love you more than you’ll probably ever know. You might a little bit someday if you choose to have babies of your own. You are the most wonderful thing that has ever come into my life. You are the biggest blessing i could’ve hoped for. What a blessing it is to be a tiny someone’s everythg. Happy first birthday baby. i love you so much Piper Ann. Of course piper overload pics

“Overwhelmed”

Intaglio print, 2018, inspired by the expression of release.

-

I made this like two years ago and I come back to it from time to time and think, was it a coincidence, was I just interpreting an image I saw? I made it to fulfill an assignment at the time, so I questioned its validity but now I think I understand myself a little more. I wanted to convey how exhausted, and overwhelmed I felt. Little did I know, at the time, I was burning myself out with the rigorous course-load I took on in my last years of college. However, I don’t regret any of it and appreciate the lessons I learned and the opportunities to share this, the hardships, with the people I truly cared about. Bc truthfully, others are in our lives to help carry and more so, transform the pain/worry.

-