#nicollenvic

Good days are good

Until the sun goes down

And the moon comes out

To shatter my heart

And beat me blue

Til the broken pieces of me

Float up high

To the sky

To be the stars in the night

That shine bright

Past midnight

And those who lay

Upon the ground

Without peculiar sound

Will look upon the sky

Up high

To see my my heart

Light the night

And see the part of me

That broke the limits

And passed the boundaries

To see something

To see someone

To see a star

That set the bar

Above infinity

And brought prosperity

To all of possibility

So the day may never end

And the stars will become full

To be the moon

To be so big and bright

To once again

I’m always going to love you

I’m always going to want you

If you smile or laugh

Or cry and scream

You’ll always be the same to me

So no matter what

I’m going to need you

And hopefully

You’ll need me too

And I’ll be there

A shoulder

For you to cry on

And the company you

Can laugh with

Because I’m always going to be there for you

I’m always going to be me

While you are always you

I laid my head back on the water

The sun is shining upon my body

As I float out to sea

I keep wondering

If anyone wants to find me

And if they do

Will I still be breathing

Will I have made friends with the dolphins

And the seagulls

Will I have learned to swim

With incredible speed

Did I get the chance to hold

My breath

For longer than a minute

But most of all

I wonder

Who will find me

Who searched for me

And I wonder if they thought about

What I think

But maybe not

Maybe no one will find me

Out in the ocean

Maybe I’ll make it across

And end up in Europe

To start a new life

To breathe

And think

And be someone that people search for

If only

You could see me

In the moonlight

Oh

If only you could hear the angel’s

Beautiful sorrow

In the godly light near

The end

The end

The last page of a book

Or the last scene in a film

But it never is the end

We don’t believe that the characters died

At when the screen went dark

We don’t believe that the end

Is

The end

It doesn’t matter

It’s more of

Until next time

Or

To be continued

But not to be read

To go on

But not to be heard

To be

But to not to be

Always

But never

Some said it was sad you were smiling without me. But I’m just glad you were smiling. I just think it’s sad because it’s fake...

The voices in my head

They were screaming at me today

They kept telling me to close my eyes

Just for a little longer

They told me to flip the light switch

To return to my mattress

Pull the blankets close

And let the tiny purring beast cuddle

Upon my chest

They told me to let it go

To let my spirit free

And turn off the energy

In my body

They told me to find the lever

In my mind

And they told me to pull it

But I hadn’t the time for searching

There were mazes

And doors

And hallways that led to different rooms

Painted with the universe

And some with memories

And people

Some were sad

And some were lost

I wanted to find the lever

And I was so close

But I was startled

And my eyes opened

The lights were on

So yeah

I am the kinda of person

Who will climb into a tree

In the middle of the night

Having a breakdown

Telling herself to jump

But not only do I do that

I become this bully to myself

And remind myself of every single bad thing I have ever done

How weak I am

What a mistake I am

All of these things

Over pain

So one day

I hope I can be strong enough

To stand up to this bitch

That tells me I’m worthless

But until then

I’ll try my best

To catch myself