#nhia

I’m not a painter. I’m a photographer. And, to be totally honest, my painting skills have been sub-par from the time I was a young child. However, one of the joys of being in a cross-disciplinary MFA program is getting to work with artists who create with different media from one’s own. And sometimes working with a variety of artists means that one has to leave the familiar comfort zone to venture into something quite different.

The amazing artist Jonathan VanDyke taught an incredibly enriching elective during my last MFA residency in January. We met for two three-hour sessions during which we got to explore different ways in which we could be creative.

For the first session, Jonathan created an approximately 30x10 foot rectangle of brown paper on the floor of a stage. He surrounded the paper rectangle with a number of materials that could be used for crafting- paper plates, streamers, plastic bags, etc. 

Fig. 1 French Hall, New Hampshire Institute of Art

After a brief group meditation and stretching session, Jonathan presented us with the task: We were asked to collaboratively create something on the brown paper surface with the materials he had provided. Only one person was to be on the rectangle at a time and talking was not permitted. We were given 70mins. It was very interesting to be part of this exercise. It felt strange not being able to communicate with one another verbally. I’ve never been a very crafty or even creative person, so the exercise was definitely something that brought me to a place of slight discomfort and self-doubt. 

Fig. 2 French Hall, New Hampshire Institute of Art

The result was a slightly chaotic collection of creative expressions from all participants- some spoke to each other, others lived in their own little spaces. I had a lot of fun.

For the second session, Jonathan brought us to the Currier Museum of Art in Manchester, NH. I should have had a hunch about what our exercise would be. Jonathan had previously shared a few performance pieces with us in which he looked at pieces of art continuously for a prolonged period of time, such as The Long Glance when he stood and looked at Jackson Pollock’s painting Convergence: Number 10, 1952 for 40 hours.

Fig. 3 Jackson Pollack, Convergence: Number 10, 1952

At The Currier, after another short meditation and stretching session, Jonathan asked us each to pick one piece of art in the museum. I chose Picasso’s Woman Seated in a Chair, 1941 because Picasso’s work has always fascinated and confused me. I remember going to the Picasso Museum in Barcelona in 2006 and being blown away by Picasso’s realist paintings, making his cubist works even more puzzling to me. Once we had all chosen our works of art, Jonathan explained the day’s exercise to us. We were asked to look at the art pieces for 60 minutes without looking away. We could move around, get closer or farther away, change our perspective, but not turn away from the piece. For a full hour. And we were asked to do so without speaking. Or looking at our phones or watches. No distractions.

I won’t lie- I felt a bit panicked. It felt like I was facing a difficult task that I might not be able to complete. I approached the painting with reluctance. How long did I usually look at a painting? Maybe two minutes. Four if it was one that really interested me. Some paintings that gripped me I would come back to and look at a second time, possibly a third. Or I might sit in front of the painting and spend some time in its presence. I tried to think of the longest I had ever looked at a painting. It cannot have been longer than 10 minutes. And now I was faced with having to look at one single painting for 60 minutes. It seemed impossible.

Fig. 4 Pablo Picasso,  Woman Seated in a Chair

I stepped in front of Woman Seated in a Chair and looked at it. I decided to do the exercise standing. First, I gave the painting the usual glance-over I would give any work of art in a museum or gallery. Then I got closer. I got incredibly close. (Actually, so close that I got yelled at by the museum security guard twice…) I looked at the brush strokes. The thickness of the paint and the inconsistencies therein. The drips I found in several spots. I examined the different colors that had been layered on top of one another. I moved a bit further away to get a better perspective on the depicted figures. I tried to make sense of the three-dimensionality that Picasso had created within the painting. The parts of the woman’s body. The shape of the chair.

It was very disorienting not knowing how much time had passed. I would estimate that after about 20 or 25 minutes I was sick of looking at the painting. I felt like I had seen all there was to see in this rectangle of colors and shapes. I became quite irritated with the exercise. I had a lot of self-doubt. The little voice inside my head kept insisting that I was faced with a task that I could not successfully complete; it kept telling me that I couldn’t do it. To be honest, the most difficult part of the exercise was having to deal with my inner voice for 60 minutes. Despite my irritation, I stayed with the painting. I had questions. So many questions. The window on the left side of the painting- why were the brush strokes so vastly different in the two window panels? Was that deliberate or just something that happened that way? Why all the imperfections? The heavy globs of paint in the top left section of the painting. The drips in some sections. The underlying colors that weren’t fully covered by the top layers of paint. I felt mystified by it all. No longer irritated, more genuinely curious. Like I would have loved to ask the man himself about it all. And even after all the time I had been staring at this painting I somehow still managed to find things I hadn’t noticed before. Interestingly, I had some physical experiences as well. My heart rate increased at some point for no apparent reason. My body felt restless and I had to move around a bit more than I had anticipated to combat the feeling.

Suddenly, my timer went off and the 60 minutes were over. I had worked through my discomfort and self-doubt and completed the exercise. In addition to being surprised by my own accomplishment I found myself feeling sad that I had to leave the painting. We had become friends, the Woman Seated in a Chair and I. Leaving her behind felt uncomfortable. I rejoined my fellow students in silence while we all jotted down some notes on our experience.

Looking back on this day I feel a fond love for Picasso’s painting. And I miss it in a way. I’ll definitely go back to see it again. After all, I know it better than any other painting in the entire world and that must count for something…

Vivien Stembridge is a documentary photographer based in Manchester, CT currently exploring 'the gaze' in photography. She is pursuing an MFA in Photography at The Institute of Art and Design at New England College. In addition to being a photographer, Vivien is a mother of three, a full-time EMT, and a martial artist.

http://www.vivienstembridge.com/

https://www.instagram.com/vstemb/?hl=en

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Chapters: 1/4 Fandom: The Big C (TV), Charlie Countryman (2013), Hannibal (TV) Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Lee Fallon/Nigel (Charlie Countryman), Will Graham/Hannibal Lecter Characters: Lee Fallon, Nigel (Charlie Countryman), Will Graham, Hannibal Lecter Additional Tags: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha/Alpha, Alpha/Omega, Alpha Nigel (Charlie Countryman), Alpha Lee (The Big C), Omega Hannibal, Alpha Will, Casual Sex, Dirty Talk, Roleplay, Butt Plugs, Blow Jobs, Spanking, Anal Fingering, Knotting, Trans Character, Episode: s02e13 Mizumono, Fix-It, Love Confessions, BearDogs, Inspired by Art, (Hannigram In Last Chapter) Summary:

After finishing an entire day's worth of the rehabilitation required for violent alphas, Nigel hits the bar in hopes of finding a nice omega to take home with him to his cousin Hannibal's safe house. Lee, another alpha, convinces Nigel to sleep with him, instead. Nigel's never fucked an alpha before, and Lee is certainly easy on the eyes.