#newyearready

I want those 48 hours of a change in my life too. A positive change, that will make me think differently, see things with a new perspective and instead of punishing myself, to actually enjoy life. I want to be grateful and creative, I want to be healthy and happy. I want to love all people. There are only 48 hours until the New Year will start. It seems now more than ever, like is my last hope to be what I could become so long ago. Please give me the strength to change everything. Change everything and give me strength. 

N E W / Y E A R S / R E S O L U T I O N

/get in love with yourself/

1th self portrait of new year. It is first shot with no focus and no pose.

Is it easy to look at yourself? Is it easy to accept your natural face? Is it easy to get in love with your true face and soul? I will give a try. It seems difficult in the begining as always. I still remember my first days in the foreign country. I was telling that it is impossible to get in a relationship with person who doesn`t speak in my mother language. However it is possible. I just needed to give a try for it. I just needed to open my mind for the new experience. It was hard and it didn`t work so well all the time. However the most important thing from all the story is the new experience. The new feeling inside me that there are not so much things which are IMPOSSIBLE. You just need to give a try.

“Saying yes has been my biggest problem, but only when it comes to saying yes to myself. Yes to my self-worth. Yes to my needs. Yes to my dreams. Yes to reclaiming my time. Yes to my happiness.

It’s been my biggest problem even with it comes to saying yes to my past and yes to my past failures. Saying yes I did that, and I did it wrong time and time again. Saying yes I have fallen, but yeah I’ve also risen. Saying yes to being someone that I wasn’t just to keep the wrong people around. Saying yes I’ve been hurt, but I’ve hurt people too while I was hurting. Yes, I’ve been a repeat victim, but at least I wasn’t the repeat offender. Saying yes to: my daddy issues, my mother’s mistakes,my broken heart, my losses and my gains and all the other ugly that makes me still being around that more beautiful. I’m just saying yes I’ve been lost, but I’ve always been found.

And so here is what I’ve found. I’ve found that irregardless of the box society tries to place us in, we are who we are and we need to be more of it. I see that I’ll get what I give, even if it’s eventually. And what I don’t give, I’ll miss out on when I need it the most. Lastly, I’ve realized that I indeed can have it all and that it’s not naive or impractical for me to aim for it after the hell that I’ve been through.