#neverfinished

My feet have enjoyed the burning coal

If our wounds could talk

I bet we'd still miss the keyhole.

And loving the wrong person

Will always feel like a chore.

The rage I'm left with

Could burn cities to ash,

Even though I know it belongs in the trash.

Still,

Got me looking in the mirror different

Hated myself enough to agree I'm scum

Spent every waking hour wondering

Picking at my soul

How do I make a man whole.

All those pretty words and still

The need to know

What part of me would he like to kill?

Is it his parents that have made him ill?

As my orgasm fades so does the thrill.

It's a sad biology

Death before apology.

Being blamed for being drained while crumbling for breadcrumbs.

A lampshade that screams at you for the room being too dark.

I should have gifted him a gun,

Instead of dimming my sun.

The tool turned doormat writes these words

In hope you'll come to see

It's your turn to burn.

But let's not let poison score

From beyond the grave.

No matter strutting or crawling

I'm coming out of this cave.

To be free of dead branches

Is what all peaches crave.

In the midst of chaos

I saw a reflection through smoke,

Reached for my own hand,

Not knowing where I'd land

When I awoke.

Catching parts of my psyche mid-air

There was no fear

But it was nowhere near clear

Is dispair the rare prayer of the legionairre?

Am I destructions engineer or its mutineer?

Feel the cheer again this year

Grab your spear and smell like beer

Soon enough all deer will disappear

And leave this insencere sphere

So will you, dear

We accept the love we think we deserve.

It's the human wish to be seen

Making us scream in pillows

And rip out a brothers spleen

All for lying beneath willows

Being understood and sympathed with

While sharing cigarillos.

To be written about

Instead of worn then thrown out.

A quest for something you don't know to be real

Exuberant and obscene.

Hands sore from wiping the slate clean.

A lighthouse shines over misty waters

Rays of light melt the frozen mountain side

All as it's supposed to be

Clowds composing symphonies

An angels ass got stuck in the slide

All will be washed away by the tide.

I watched as the sunbeam confirmed my story

Flying hearts conjuring up melodies

Swimming hearts, soon floating carcasses.

And it's calm

And you belong.

I warm my fingers on my neck

Imprisonment by locking stares.

Take me away but let me stay a wreck.

I put the uniform on

A general of the highest rank

Bite my lip as you send vibrations

From Venus to Saturn and Mars.

The whore and the saint confuse their identities

“Hey, Jonathan, where’s Will?” Joyce asks, flustered, as she rushes from the dining table back to the kitchen, barely saving the bread from the toaster in time.

Her eight-year-old peers up at her, eyes wide as he stops next to the table. “I don’t know, he wasn’t in his room.”

“Shit.” Joyce has been good about cursing in front of her boys, but—Lonnie. She walks as quickly as she dares down the hall to their bedroom, but when she peeks in he’s still passed out on the bed. Will is nowhere in sight.

So he isn’t alone with Lonnie, which is good. But he isn’t in the house, which is very very bad.

“I think he might have gone outside with Chester,” Jonathan says when she walks back out, and Joyce manages a tight grin and ruffles his hair. He’s a good kid.

She slips on some shoes and steps into the backyard. Chester immediately bounds up to her, and she pats his head even as she looks around for Will. After a few moments, she spots him sitting by a tree, his back to her.

“Will!” she calls. “Breakfast!”

He doesn’t seem to hear her, so she hurries across the yard. As she approaches, over Will’s shoulder she can see a twig on the ground in front of him. He’s staring at it intensely. “Will,” she says again, but a sharp hushing noise escapes him and she startles.

“Wait,” her preschooler murmurs, almost dreamily, and his eerily neutral face sends a chill down her spine.

She opens her mouth again, to urge him inside, to get him to stop playing this little game, but before she can—

“Aha!” Will intones, and the twig bursts into flame.

Joyce stumbles back, and her first thought: I’m so fucking high.

But that can’t be right, because she’s been sober four years now. She hasn’t had visions like this since—

No. No. She’s not falling down this rabbit hole again. This isn’t happening.

Will is looking up at her, now, his little hands folded on his lap and his face eager; searching for praise. When it doesn’t come, his eyebrows draw together and he brushes hair out of his eyes with one hand. With the other, he makes a little waving gesture and the flame goes out. “Mommy?” he asks, and he looks worried for her.

“Yeah, sweetie,” Joyce forces out. “It’s time for breakfast, okay?”

“‘kay, but—“

“Breakfast, Will,” she insists, and she hoists him to his feet.

She makes a beeline for the door to her house, listening to Will’s tiny footsteps behind her, her mind whirling.

Ok so I think I can walk away from this now. I know I already posted it but I keep coming back and tweaking it. Finally losing the peach background altogether for some traditional black. The revamped shading really did the trick though. Check out these earlier designs for comparison.

She's an heiress bound by obligation, determined to protect her mother's legacy:

Never Finished a small town friends to lovers romance by Ana Rhodes Book Tour with Guest Post

She's an heiress bound by obligation, determined to protect her mother's legacy. He's a bartender from the wrong side of the tracks who's always loved her.

Twelve years ago, I chose my family and the future they laid out for me. And walked away from Jaime, my best friend and forbidden fantasy. We said goodbye with a soul searing kiss I can still feel on my lips.

Now I'm back in Silverpine for the first time since my mother died. I'm brokering a merger for the family business—only I don't realize my freedom is on the line. My father wants to expand at any cost, including offering his only daughter as part of the deal.

But Jaime is back too, and his effortless charm and smile disarm my every defense. He stands for everything my world isn't—warm, passionate, and unpredictably beautiful.

I'm trapped between the life I've always known and the taste of freedom I've longed for.