#never inside

Some of our readers may remember that my wife would often lock me for long random periods, so we never bothered keeping track of dates or anything. Neither of us know when my "permanent" situation started because it started off as just another locked period after a little break; it really took over two years before my wife talked herself through whatever she was feeling about it living this way forever. It started in February or maybe March of 2018, but since we don't have the exact date, we picked April 1 as the anniversary (Lockiversary) because it's easy to remember.

He showed me some of the dominatrix porn he liked and told me that sometimes he imagined that instead of my not having any libido that I was intentionally denying him sex. It took me a while to wrap my head around this but that led to him buying a few different chastity cages to try them out. We had some good luck with him being able to wear one of them and I took the keys. Even though I still wasn't really in the mood for sex I played along holding his keys and making him "earn" an unlocking. At first I just gave him the keys and let him go do his thing. When he was done, he cleaned up, then locked himself and handed me the keys.

After a while he asked if I would "take care of him" for a change. I was beginning to feel a little more comfortable with the idea so I did. He was so happy and so grateful! After a few more times I began to make it a weekly ritual. I still was not in the mood for any sex but I did enjoy giving my husband pleasure and it helped smooth over some of the rough patches we had. I began to look forward to our unlocked time together and I actually found myself getting mad at him if he failed to earn his weekly unlocking. I felt like he was failing me!

After a couple of years of this at some point I started feeling like I might be ready to have him pleasure me for a change. I told him that he could only be unlocked if he would go down on me and make me come. You could have knocked him over with a feather, but he jumped at the chance and actually made me come twice! That began my journey back to enjoying sex again, even though it looks different than it used to.

I still keep him locked and make him "earn" his weekly release, and once in a while I like to tease him by saying that it wasn't good enough and that he will have to try again next week. We still don't have PIV, and probably never will because things just don't feel right down there. But we learned to use chastity and orgasm denial to make the most of what we have. I'm happy to have found your blog to see how you and other women have dealt with similar circumstances. Thanks for being a good influence!

Thank you so much for sharing your story. I have been enjoying hearing from other women who have come around to denial and locking their men and who are using it to enhance their mareiages. It has been a surprise to me how many women have discovered this after they're older and especially after menopause.

I hope that your husband appreciates how you took to this and that this is your way of trying to allow him his fantasy while still working at maintaining your connection.

My husband tells me that a lot of men have a hard time coping with the... the lack of penetration or PIV sex. They haven't gone through the hot flashes, hormonal changes, mood swings and all that so they don't get why we just don't feel like spending all afternoon in bed now that the children are out of the house.

I like the way that you handled this by turning the unlocking into a weekly thing, but that you also maintained control by making him accountable so that his releases were never guaranteed.

Finally, I'm so happy to hear that your libido is coming back. A good sex life doesn't need to look the same for everybody, and if you and your husband are happy and connected then that's all that matters. Blessings for the both of you.