gunner shepardson(nettspend) x fem!reader
summary: he texted you like nothing ever happened. you showed up anyway. now youâre backstage at his show again, standing in the space between what you were and whatever you are now. when he asks you to leave with him after, you say yes without fully thinking it through. by the time the internet catches you both in the same frame outside the venue, itâs already too late to pretend it meant nothing.
authors note: soooo iâm back again
i wrote this a while ago after i bought rolling loud & elc tickets soooo yeah.
i promise iâm going to make a part four to what stays, what burns it is literally just rotting in my drafts judging me at this point i just need to finish a few things and stop being lazy
um so about posting once a weekâŠ. donât hold me to that. i love the idea of it though i really do
anywayyy enjoy this âlittle blurbâ i wrote when i was on a nett rush lol.
feedback is always welcome and actually needed so donât be shy
je vous adore, mes angels more than life
you and gunner were together for almost two years.
before shows, before people knew his name, before everything started moving too fast.
back when he was just some kid skipping class, always in trouble, making songs in his room that barely got any plays.
you were there for all of it.
you remember that room more than anything.
messy, loud, too small. clothes everywhere, ashtrays that never got emptied, holes in the wall he never fixed.
he used to pull you into him like you were the only thing keeping him in place, mumbling into your neck, half-tiredâ
like it couldnât change.
you donât really know when it started going wrong.
just⊠more people, more attention, more noise.
girls you didnât know saying his name like they knew him. comments, posts, things you wish you never read.
you started feeling out of place in something you were there for first.
stopped going to sessions. stopped answering calls.
he just didnât say it the way you needed him to.
told yourself it was for the best.
that he needed someone who could handle all of it.
that was the part you didnât say out loud.
you still kept up with him.
just sometimes. late at night.
scrolling a little too far down his many different pages, past the new posts, past everything recentâ
old pictures. videos. things you forgot were even there.
sometimes youâd see new girls around him and have to close the app for a minute.
like that would fix anything.
âare you and y/n still together?â
ânah⊠we donât talk like that no more. itâs whateverâ
like you didnât matter.
youâd replay that part more than you should.
then one night, your phone buzzes.
you almost donât open it.
you stare at it for a second before clicking.
another message comes in right after.
âik we not tg but u should come 2 a show or sumâ
âyou was there since the start. itâd mean sum frâ
you read it more than once.
it feels weird seeing him type like that again. like nothing happened.
your fingers hover over the screen.
you set your phone down, like thatâll help.
a minute later, it lights up again.
âu donât gotta stay longâ
âjust thought iâd askâ
you exhale slowly, staring at the ceiling.
but your chest feels tight in that familiar way youâve been trying to ignore for months.
and you hate that it still works.
you pick your phone back up.
stare at the messages one more time.
you send it before you can change your mind.
the reply comes almost instantly.
like heâs been waiting.
âsame place as beforeâ
you sit there for a second, phone still in your hand.
you already know youâre going.
you just donât want to admit it yet.
you donât respond right away.
you just stare at the messages, thumb hovering like youâre about to say something elseâlike you should.
âaight,â he sends after a minute.
like heâs not expecting anything more.
like he already knows how this goes.
you type, stop, then type again before you can think too hard about it.
you hesitate, then type again
âdo i need tickets orâ
you stare at it for a second.
like none of this is weird.
another message right after.
âiâll have someone at the frontâ
you donât know why that makes your chest feel tight.
you stare at that a second longer than you should.
you tell yourself youâre not gonna make it a big deal.
youâve been to like a hundred of them before.
but thatâs not the point.
it shouldnât feel like this.
your room is too quiet while youâre getting ready. every little thing feels louder than it shouldâdrawers opening, your phone lighting up, music playing too low to actually distract you.
stand there for a second, staring at yourself like youâre trying to see what heâs gonna see.
you end up picking something simple. something easy.
something heâs probably seen before.
you donât think too hard about that.
you grab your phone, hesitate for half a second then leave before you can talk yourself out of it.
same smell hits first. smoke, heat, something metallic in the air.
the sound is already there tooâlow bass shaking through the walls even before the set starts.
you follow the guy who finds you at the front without much question.
âhe said to bring you backstage,â he says, like itâs normal.
you donât ask anything else.
back here is quieter, but not in a comforting way.
more like everything is happening somewhere else and youâre just not part of it anymore.
people move fast past you, talking into headsets, adjusting wires, not really looking twice.
youâre led down a narrow hallway, past a curtain, and thenâ
just standing off to the side like heâs in between things.
hoodie half on, mic in his hand, mid-conversation with someone who immediately steps away when you walk in.
ââŠyou actually came,â he says.
like he didnât fully believe it would happen.
you shrug slightly. âyou told me to.â
a faint smile pulls at his mouth.
âyeah, but i didnât think youâd actually listen.â
âyou say a lot of things,â you say, before you can overthink it.
that gets a small laugh out of him.
like neither of you knows what to do with the fact that youâre both standing here.
he nods toward the side of the stage.
âyou good back here?â
âyeah, your guy?â you say. âhe let me in at the front.â
âmy guy?â he repeats, like thatâs funny.
âhe was waiting for me.â
he shakes his head a little. âi told him to just let you through, not act like you need an escort or some shit.â
you glance at him. âit kind of felt like that.â
another small smile from him.
but it fades quicker this time.
his gaze lingers on you a second too long.
âyou lookâŠâ he starts.
like heâs reconsidering the rest of the sentence.
instead he just nods toward the stage again, like he can reset it that way.
âyou can stay back here if you want.â
you look past himâthe curtain, the lights leaking through, the sound building on the other side.
âiâll just watch you from back here.â
you regret it as soon as you say it.
like heâs about to say something else.
something that sits right at the edge of his mouth but doesnât quite come out.
âi was gonnaââ he starts.
âyo, gunner, we need you up now.â
someone calls from behind him.
another voice immediately after.
he exhales through his nose, glancing over his shoulder.
he looks back at you fast, like he forgot for half a second where he was.
âweâll talk after,â he says, already turning.
just something he assumes.
and just like that, heâs pulled back into the noise.
youâre left standing there, watching him disappear through the curtain.
like he never really stepped out of it.
you can hear it instantlyâcrowd noise exploding, bass still lingering in the walls, people shouting his name like itâs not over yet.
backstage, half-hidden, watching through the gap where the curtain doesnât fully close.
he goes out like nothing happened.
like the moment in the hallway didnât exist.
but itâs different now.
you notice it immediately.
he performs, yeah. fully in it, voice steady, moving across the stage like he owns it.
but his eyes keep coming back.
like heâs making sure youâre still there.
you donât move much. just lean against the wall, arms loosely crossed, trying not to overthink the fact that he keeps looking in your direction between lines.
it happens more than once.
quick glances. then longer ones.
like he forgets himself, then remembers where he is.
at one point he misses a word again.
you donât know why that part sticks.
too loud, like it always does.
you stay where you are, half-hidden backstage, watching the last bit of movement on stageâhim still up there, still finishing like nothingâs different.
you can tell by the way he keeps glancing back.
like heâs not fully thinking about it, but he still does it anyway.
backstage turns into motion immediately.
crew rushing in, voices overlapping, someone brushing past you without really seeing you there.
you stay out of the way until someone points you toward a hallway.
his dressing room is quieter than everything else.
you knock lightly anyway.
you smile softly. âhi.â
thereâs a pause where neither of you moves.
heâs still in part of his outfit from stage, hoodie half off, hair a mess like he ran his hands through it too many times.
he gestures loosely toward the couch.
not too far from him, but not close either.
it feels weird how natural that still is.
for a second, itâs like no time passed at all.
then it hits again that it did.
âyou good?â he asks finally.
you almost laugh a little at that. âyeah. you?â
âsame,â he says, but itâs automatic.
âyou still in the same place?â he asks.
you shake your head. âno, i moved a while ago.â
he nods like heâs processing that.
then, like itâs not a big dealâ
âyou tryna come with me after this?â
he doesnât push it. doesnât over-explain it.
you shouldnât overthink it.
not because itâs complicated.
he shrugs. âmy place.â
you can feel how easy it would be to say no.
but that doesnât really exist anymore, does it.
âyeah,â you say finally. âi can.â
he nods like thatâs all he needed.
outside, itâs colder than it should be.
the air hits different after being inside all night.
you walk beside him without talking about it.
just falling into step like you used to without noticing.
people are still outside the venue.
youâre almost past the main crowd when your phone buzzes.
a notification pops up before you even realize youâre still looking.
ârapper nettspend seen leaving venue rn w some girl?? who is she??â
attached: a blurry side-angle photo. him walking out. you slightly behind him.
not even clear enough to really see your face.
but that doesnât matter.
the replies are already moving fast.
@waitwaitwhatt:Â wait thatâs actually crazy đ who is that
âłÂ @nicelarp: it lowkey looks like his ex??
ââłÂ @l0vesickbxtch: STOP i thought they werenât together anymore
âââłÂ @user4729: he literally said that in an interview tho đ
âââłÂ @i37: âwe donât talk anymoreâ and now this is insane
ââââłÂ @lodeddraco:yâall always assume every girl is the ex be fr
another tweet under it gets quoted:
âwhy do i feel like iâve seen her before??â
âłÂ @chitlinslover: NO SAME like this is giving old era
ââłÂ @dylxn: wasnât there like a rumor about her back in 2023??
âââłÂ @xx348: yâall are making lore out of a blurry photo đ
ââââłÂ @secratte still tho⊠why is he always seen w someone after shows
âbro pulled up w HER again?? be seriousâ
âłÂ @ethanpp3: âHER againâ like we all know who you mean đ
ââłÂ @angelicjess: yâall are acting like he canât walk out with people anymore
âââłÂ @user17388: itâs giving soft launch / hard confusion
âthis is messy omgâ
âłÂ @robbielordi: messy?? or just yâall projecting đ
ââłÂ @bigredđ„©: idk but the timing is crazy
âââłÂ @userr: he literally just performed a song about moving on like 10 mins ago
the thread keeps stacking.
names, guesses, arguments, people correcting each other, people insisting they âknow who it is.â
you donât scroll for long.
