contains: flashback,smut (p in v) (f receiving) fingering etc
a/n: my whole house mentioned in this
the house is packed. music pulses through the walls, bodies crushed together in a blur of sweat, alcohol, and cigarette smoke.
you stick close to your friends, a red solo cup in hand, trying to focus on their conversation instead of the one person you’ve been avoiding the entire night.
he’s across the room, leaning against the kitchen counter, beer in hand, surrounded by his usual crowd Nate, Roman,Hollis and a few group of girls, their laughter ringing too loud for the room. sharp jaw clenched as he listens to something Roman is saying. the dim lighting casts shadows across his face for a moment, he looks like he was made for this.
you’ve noticed him for as long as you can remember, not in a dreamy, fairytale way just in the way he’s ridiculously attractive, and you wish he’d notice you. but he never has. not really. not beyond occasional passing glance. you’ve never even spoken to him before.
and you know that’s not going to chance tonight.
you tip your drink back, letting the burn of the liquor settle in your stomach before your eyes drift back to him just for a second, just to get it out of your system. but to your surprise, his gaze meets yours.
for a heartbeat, everything goes still.
his eyes lock onto yours, sharp and unreadable, and your stomach flips, you think he might say something.
but then, just as quickly as it happened, he looks away.
like it was nothing, like you’re nothing.
you try to shake off the twist in your stomach, forcing yourself to roll your eyes at your own stupidity. of course, he looked away. you don’t run in the same circles.
you’ve never even spoken. that’s exactly what he would do.
with a long exhale, you turn your attention back to your friends, throwing back another drink to drown the heat building in your chest.
if Ryan doesn’t care, then neither should you.
at least, that’s what you tell yourself.
and so, you don't talk to him. you don't try.
you don't care. you just drink.
and the next thing you know, you're waking up somewhere else.
the first thing you feel is the pounding in your skull. the second is the warmth wrapped around you soft sheets, the heavy scent of cologne, and something else that lingers in the air: smoke, alcohol, and something undeniably rich.
the room is dim, early morning light seeping through half closed blinds. it's unfamiliar, your body feels strangely bare, and as you move, it hits you like a freight train.
you’re naked. in someone's bed.
slowly, carefully, you turn your head and your stomach drops.
asleep. lying next to you.
your mind goes blank. your heart races, and panic floods your chest. you don't remember anything. not after the party, not after the fifth drink nothing. the last thing you remember is walking through the door of Ryans house, blending in with your friends, and trying not to look at him. because, let's face it, he never noticed you.
you need to leave. right now.
moving as quietly as possible, you slip out from under the covers, wincing at how your body aches in places you really don't want to think about. you spot your clothes scattered across the floor your black crop top tangled with your jacket, your shorts crumpled near the bed, your underwear half hidden under his nightstand.
you're pulling on your shorts when a low groan behind you makes you freeze.
sheets rustle. a slow inhale. then-
you snap your head toward the bed.
Ryan's awake. and staring at you, confusion clouding his eyes.
for a second, neither of you move. neither of you speak. his eyes flick between you and the clothes scattered across the floor like he's trying to piece it together too.
your mouth is dry. "i am."
a pause. he blinks. "why?"
you tug your crop top over your head, voice flat. "no idea."
Ryan furrows his brow and pushes himself up onto his elbows, glancing around like the answers might be written on the walls.
then, like a light bulb flicking on, he lifts the blanket and glances under it.
"did we-" his voice is hoarse, hesitant.
you pull your jacket on, letting out a sharp exhale. "probably."
Ryan looks back at you, his expression unreadable. "you don't remember?"
a muscle in his jaw twitches. he swipes his tongue across his lips like he's trying to process it all.
then, softly almost to himself. "oh, fuck."
you don't want to stick around for whatever crisis he's about to have. "i'm gonna head out."
you make it two steps toward the door before his voice stops you.
your stomach twists. you let out a slow breath and turn around.
Ryan’s getting out of bed now, yanking on a pair of underwear and sweatpants. he rubs a hand over his head, dragging it down his face in frustration. his shoulders rise and fall with a heavy sigh before he looks at you again.
"i need to figure this out," he says, his voice steady, more serious now. "i need to know what happened."
"seriously." his jaw tightens. "you don't remember anything, i don't remember anything. we just ended up here? that doesn't freak you out?"
of course it freaks you out. but what freaks you out more is the fact that it was with him.
you shift your weight, torn. you should leave. you know you should. but there's something about the way he's looking at you frustration mixed with confusion, like he needs answers just as much as you do.
with a sigh, you sit back down on the edge of his bed. he watches you, raking a hand through his hair before he sits beside you.
"okay," he says, his voice softening, leaning forward. "what's the last thing you remember?"
you frown, trying to piece it together.
"i remember the party. i was with my friends... and then everything gets blurry."
Ryan runs a hand over his face, letting out a frustrated sigh. "yeah. i remember the party, too. but not much after i started drinking." his eyes flick to you, narrowing.
you shake your head. "i don't think so."
you both sit there, tension building, trying to fill in the blanks of a night neither of you can recall.
you're not sure if you want to remember.
you lean back slightly, rubbing your temples, feeling the dull throb in your skull.
"i don't even know how i ended up here," you mutter.
Ryan leans forward again, his brows furrowing. "you were fine when i saw you. not too drunk, but you'd been drinking, right? but you didn't seem out of control."
you laugh lightly, glancing at him. "i can hold my liquor, if that's what you're asking."
Ryan gives a small chuckle, his gaze softening, but only for a moment. then, he narrows his eyes again.
"i don't remember talking to you. did you talk to anyone?"
you hesitate. your head feels foggy, and for a second, you wonder if it's better to just leave it be. but then, something clicks a flash of memory, like a spark in the dark.
you pull out your phone from your jacket pocket, flicking through the messages still open. your heart skips a beat as you see one from your friend Liv.
you read it: "saw you talking to Ryan last night. what did you say to him?!"
your heart races, and the pieces start to click together. you sit up straighter, staring at the message, your mind racing. slowly, you look up at Ryan.
"wait... i think i remember."
Ryan's eyes narrow, clearly waiting for the rest of the story. his arms cross over his chest, his body still, but the curiosity in his eyes is impossible to ignore.
"what happened?" he asks, voice almost a whisper.
you look back down at your phone, rereading Liv’s message. then, just as you start to feel the first sparks of clarity, something else hits you. a flashback. a loud laugh, a dare, the game spinning wildly...
the house is packed. people spill from the front porch to the backyard, music thumping against the walls, laughter and conversation blending into the humid Cali air. you weave your way through the crowd, gripping an empty cup in one hand as you head inside for a refill.
your third? fourth? you've lost count at this point, the drinks flowing as easily as the conversation. the kitchen is just as crowded, but you maneuver through it easily, filling your cup before turning back toward the living room. that's when you notice a circle of people gathered on the floor, half empty bottles scattered between them. the energy in the room is charged, a mix of anticipation and mischief radiating from the group.
"what's this?" you ask, curiosity getting the best of you.
a few heads turn toward you, including a familiar smirking face Ryan.
"truth or dare," Ian answers. "come join."
you let out a breathy laugh, shaking your head. "i'm good."
"what, are you scared?" Julie challenges, grinning up at you.
you take a slow sip of your drink, leveling them with a look. "of course."
that only makes them beg more, voices overlapping in a chorus of persuasion. you try to resist, but the drinks, the teasing, and the expectant gazes make it impossible to say no. with a dramatic sigh, you give in, stepping into the circle and sinking onto the floor.
the game moves quickly, dares getting bolder, truths getting more explicit. the air is thick with tension, loud reactions filling the room with every challenge. eventually, the bottle spins toward Julie. the group quiets in anticipation as it slows and stops on her.
"truth or dare?" Hollis asks, eyes gleaming.
Julie glances around, her lips curving into a mischievous grin. "dare."
Hollis’s eyes sparkle with mischief as he leans in. "give Ian a lap dance."
a wave of laughter and hoots erupts, and Ian groans dramatically, leaning back on his hands as the whole group watches.
Julie, already buzzing from the alcohol, stands up with exaggerated confidence, winking at Ian before strutting over to him.
she starts the dance slow, teasing, making everyone laugh harder. Ian, looking embarrassed but amused, shifts in his seat, pretending to squirm under her movements. it’s playful, innocent, but still enough to get the entire room riled up.
as the laughter dies down and the game continues, the bottle spins again, and this time it lands on you. the attention in the room shifts.
"truth or dare?" someone asks, eyes gleaming.
you exhale, knowing whatever you pick will be a trap. "truth."
the question comes instantly. "if you could have sex with anyone here, who would it be?"
a long pause. a flicker of a smirk crosses your lips as you glance around, not making direct eye contact with anyone. the group waits, eager for an answer.
"answer the question, Y/N," Liv urges.
you barely hesitate before responding, your voice quick, almost too quick. "Ryan."
the second the name leaves your lips, you regret how fast you said it. like you were trying to rush past it. like you hadn't meant to say it at all. but it's too late. the reaction is instant whistles, laughter, teasing comments thrown in every direction.
your face heats, but you play it off, taking another sip of your drink as if it doesn't matter. as if you hadn't just said his name in front of everyone.
the game continues, dares escalating, but the shift is undeniable. eventually, it lands on Ryan. he leans forward lazily, elbows resting on his knees.
"truth or dare?" Nate asks.
his eyes flicker briefly toward you before he smirks. "dare."
a wicked grin spreads across Nate's face.
"make out with the person of your choice."
you feel your stomach flip, but you keep your expression neutral. you glance around, expecting him to pick any of the other girls in the circle. the ones who are already sitting up straighter, fixing their hair, leaning in slightly. you don't even consider yourself an option, and you're way too drunk to overthink it.
Ryan pushes himself to his feet, taking a slow step forward before crouching down in front of you.
as he leans in, his hand slides from your thigh to your waist, fingers gripping just enough to pull you subtly closer. it’s effortless, like he's reeling you in without asking, without needing permission.
it’s not soft. it’s not careful. it’s firm, demanding, like he's been waiting for an excuse. like he's not just playing into the game like he wants this.
his hand finds your jaw, fingers pressing just enough to keep you in place, his thumb grazing your cheek as he deepens the kiss.
his other hand settles against your thigh, warm and grounding, pulling you forward just slightly, just enough to make your breath catch.
the room erupts around you, voices overlapping whistles, exaggerated gasps, someone muttering, "well, damn." another voice chuckles, "should we leave or..." your brain short circuits, lips moving against his instinctively, a rush of something electric running down your spine. your fingers curl into his shirt, holding onto him without thinking, without caring that you're not alone.
his lips move with certainty, like he's not questioning this, like he knows exactly what he's doing to you. and when he pulls back, it's not abrupt it's slow, lingering, like he's reluctant to stop. his breath is warm against your skin for a second longer before he finally leans away completely, his expression unreadable as he pushes himself back onto his heels and returns to his spot in the circle.
the game goes on. people keep playing, keep laughing, but you barely process any of it.
after a while, you need a breather. slipping away from the group, you make your way back to the kitchen, refilling your cup with a drink you don't even really want and probably shouldn't be having.
you’re not alone for long.
"you said my name pretty fast."
you don't have to turn around to know who it is.
biting back a smile, you turn slightly to see Ryan standing behind you, arms crossed, amusement dancing in his eyes.
you take a slow sip of your drink.
"technically, i didn't. they had to ask me twice."
his smirk deepens as he steps closer, the space between you shrinking. "you sure you didn't just want everyone to know?"
you scoff, shaking your head. "that's the last thing i wanted."
Ryan leans against the counter beside you, his presence too close, too steady. he tilts his head, watching you carefully. "you looked surprised."
you try to keep your expression even.
his gaze flickers down to your lips before meeting your eyes again. "about me picking you."
your breath catches for just a second. you mask it with another sip of your drink, refusing to let him see the effect he has on you.
Ryan studies your reaction, then leans in slightly, his voice lower. "you really thought i wouldn't?"
you tilt your head back slightly, trying to act unaffected, though your heart is hammering. "yeah, i did."
his gaze sharpens, like he's studying you now, not just playing around. "why?"
you open your mouth to respond, but the words won't come. you glance down at your drink, trying to find something to focus on, but your mind is blank. you want to say something anything. but the way he's looking at you, the way he's so close, it's like the air between you both is thickening with anticipation. you open your mouth again, but nothing comes out.
and that's when he moves.
his hand slides gently against the side of your neck, just a soft touch, but enough to make you freeze. his fingers curl ever so slightly, pulling you in. and before you can even process what's happening, his lips are on yours.
it’s not slow. it’s not tentative. it’s hungry, urgent, like he's been wanting this, like he's been waiting for the right moment. his lips press against yours, firm and demanding, and you can't think anymore. your body reacts before your mind does.
you let your drink fall from your hand, the cup clinking against the counter as it rolls off. you’re not even aware of it; all you can focus on is the feeling of his lips, the heat of his body so close, the way he pulls you into him.
your hands find their way to his shirt, tugging him closer, as if you can't get enough of him, and he responds, pressing you against the counter as his hands roam down your back. the world fades away.
it’s just him, just the two of you in this moment.
somehow, without breaking the kiss, he starts guiding you toward the stairs. you don't know how you end up walking, stumbling, but you're both moving up the stairs, barely making it to the top before he's pushing open a door.
Ryan shuts the door behind you, and for a split second, everything's quiet, the energy shifting from urgency to something more primal. you stand in the middle of his room, both of you breathing heavily, like you're trying to catch your breath before the storm.
and then his lips find yours again, deeper now, hungrier, like there's nothing stopping either of you. his hands are everywhere gripping your waist, your thighs, pulling you toward the bed. you let him, just feeling the pull of him, the way his body molds against yours.
before you even know it, the two of you are on the bed, your clothes scattered around the room in a haze of haste. there’s no more thinking. you’re just here with him, and you know exactly what you want.
there’s no hesitation, no flicker of doubt just the raw urgency of the moment. Ryan’s hands move over your skin like he's done this a thousand times, pulling you closer, the heat of his body making everything else disappear.
as Ryan’s hands continue to explore your body, he whispers in your ear, "you're so pretty." his voice is husky, filled with desire, and it sends shivers down your spine. he pauses, his eyes locked on yours,
"do you want me to finger you first?" the way he says it, all low and raspy, makes your heart skip a beat.
you nod, barely able to speak, and he obliges, his fingers slipping inside you with ease. you feel a rush of pleasure as he moves them in and out, his touch sending sparks through your body. you reach for his hand, trying to grasp it, but he gently moves it out of the way, continuing to tease you with his fingers. his touch is gentle, yet firm, and you can't help but let out a moan as he hits the right spot.
as you get closer to the edge, he pulls his fingers out and brings them to your mouth.
"taste yourself," he whispers, his eyes gleaming with excitement.
you suck on his fingers, the salty sweetness of your own arousal mingling on your tongue. his gaze sharpens, a smirk curling on his lips as he watches you. "do you taste good?" he asks, voice low and dark.
you hum in response, the sound vibrating in your chest, breathy and eager. the effect it has on him is immediate, his grip tightening around you as he leans in, crashing his lips onto yours. his kiss is rough, demanding, and his tongue sweeps into your mouth, claiming you completely.
the heat between you ignites, and you lose yourself in the sensation, tangled together in a moment that leaves no room for anything but him.
he strokes himself, even though he's already rock hard, and you can't help but watch, mesmerized by the sight of him touching himself. he’s so turned on, and it's all because of you. he gets on top of you, his body pressing down on yours, and you feel a rush of excitement as he enters you with a smooth thrust. you feel him fill you up, stretching you to the limit, and you let out a moan as he starts rocking back and forth.
his hands trail down your body, mapping every curve, every inch of you, leaving a trail of heat in their wake. you feel consumed by him, like fire is spreading through your veins. he leans in close, his breath hot against your ear as he murmurs, "oh, you're taking me so well."
you raise an eyebrow, your voice barely a whisper, "how well?"
his response is a growl, low and laden with desire, "so fucking well, baby. you have no idea how long i’ve wanted this, fuck." the raw hunger in his voice sends a shiver down your spine, and the look in his eyes makes your heart race.
a smile tugs at your lips, and you lean into him, urging, "then go faster."
he obliges, his movements becoming more frantic, more urgent. you can feel the tension building inside you, and you know you're both close. he pumps into you harder, faster, until you feel like you're going to explode. the room around you melts away, and all that's left is the two of you, lost in the moment, lost in each other.
as you both reach the peak, it feels like you're soaring, suspended in a moment where nothing else exists just the two of you. your bodies tremble in perfect synchrony, the world outside fading away as you come together. in the rush of it, you grab Ryan by the neck, pulling him down into a fierce, desperate kiss. his lips meet yours with equal hunger, crashing together with an intensity that leaves you breathless. the kiss is raw, untamed, filled with a need that's impossible to ignore, until you both break apart, gasping for air, consumed by your need for each other.
as you finish, Ryan rolls off of you, both of you breathing heavily, still caught in the aftermath of what just happened. the room is quiet except for the sound of your lungs working to catch up, your body still humming from the intensity. you glance over at him, and there's a glint of satisfaction in his eyes, the same desire still flickering in them. you can't help but smile, the weight of everything settling in, you're both still here, both still present in the moment.
Ryan sits up, and for a second, you think he's going to leave, but then you watch as he walks to the edge of the bed and grabs a towel. when he returns, it catches you off guard. you tense slightly, a sharp breath escaping as he gently wipes you clean, his touch surprisingly careful, as if he's worried about hurting you.
your body's still sensitive, and when he moves, you can't help but flinch a little.
Ryan notices immediately, his hand pausing as he looks at you with a soft expression.
he leans in and kisses you softly, one hand still holding the towel, the other stroking your hair. the kiss is slow, tender, a contrast to everything else that just happened, but it feels just right.
when he finishes, he throws the towel into his dirty clothes, then crawls back into bed with you, pulling the covers over both of you. you rest your head on the pillow as his arms wrap around you, pulling you closer.
the last thing you hear before sleep takes over is the steady beat of his heart, a comforting rhythm that lulls you both into a peaceful silence
"wow," he says, breaking the silence.
"mhmm," you reply, trying to suppress a nervous laugh.
"that's definitely something," he adds, his voice quiet, almost unsure.
"yep," you say, your tone flat, like you're still processing it yourself.
the two of you sit in silence for a moment, the weight of it all hanging between you. his gaze flickers over to you, studying your face like he's waiting for you to say something-anything. you look back at him, almost casually, like this isn't the kind of thing that would send anyone into a spiral.
you rub your temples, trying to ease the lingering headache, and then shrug.
"so, i’m gonna go," you say, the words rolling off your tongue without a second thought.
Ryan raises an eyebrow, clearly thrown by how nonchalant you are. he leans back slightly, crossing his arms over his chest.
"you're not... making a big deal out of this?"
you look at him, a small smile tugging at the corner of your lips. "why would i? it happened. we can't change it. i’m not looking for any issues."
there's a pause. Ryan blinks, caught off guard by your response. he expected... something else. maybe a fight. maybe some kind of hesitation. but you're calm.
"you're not... mad?" he asks, his tone soft, uncertain now.
you shake your head, standing up to pull your jacket on. "why would i be? we both wanted to. just... surprised it even happened."
he nods slowly, as if absorbing this new information about you. then, he leans forward, his voice lower, almost serious.
"we can't tell anyone, alright? and it can't happen again."
you give him a look, deadpan. "of course. no one needs to know, and we don't need to make a big deal out of it."
Ryan watches you carefully, still processing, clearly surprised by how easy you're making this. it's almost like you're not affected at all. he opens his mouth to say something else, but you're already at the door.
you glance over your shoulder one last time.
and with that, you're gone. leaving him there, staring after you, with the weight of the situation settling in and a strange sense of intrigue bubbling up inside him.
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