#nervuos

You walked up to his house, fearing the emotional mess you were about to witness. As you reach for the key he gave you, you hear a smash from the other side of the door. You storm in and see a sobbing Luke, leaning against wall while slowly sliding down, covered in cuts on his hands from broken beer bottles.

“Oh my god” You manage to spit out in awe of the scene that was playing out in front of you. He looks up at you with tired, puffy tear stained eyes. He chuckles softly and shakes his head. “Congrats Y/N, you’ve finally seen me at my fucking worst. Is this a great show for you? You enjoying yourself?” He chugs from the nearby beer bottle and stares towards the wall.

“Luke... I-I had no idea this was hurting you this badly, I-” “No one understands me Y/N, my own fucking girlfriend thought I was a fucking joke and left me. I don’t even know if I’m worth anything.” He angrily sobs into his knees. You slide down to him and he instantly reaches over to sob in your arms. You’ve done this for him multiple times, and it was hard to hear him say these things, but you knew he was drunk, and sad, and all you could do is sit and hope he one day recognizes that you’re not going anywhere.

He gets up sloppily, so you grab his arm and wrap it around your shoulders, leading him to his room to help him go to sleep. Once he hits his bed, he’s out like a light. 

You walk into the kitchen, grabbing the broom and starting your usual cleanup of his house. Sweeping up the glass, fixing the furniture, folding blankets. As you were picking up bottles from the grand piano, you felt the urge to try out your new song on that beautiful baby grand. You placed the bottles in the recycling and walked back to the piano, allowing yourself to get adjusted on the bench. You started the opening line and immediately got lost in the music.

All we got is here and now Why won't you let your guard down? I'm just tryna show you how Love is easy So don't you make it hard

You played through the chords intensely, unaware of the curly haired boy listening to you from upstairs. Feeling an emense amount of guilt, for not allowing you to have the chance to be the love he really needed.

I'll chase the wind, I'll face your dark I'll make a wish upon your star Although you're afraid I'll break your heart Just let my hands reach your scars

Luke looked down at his hands, noticing the splints that were once not there. You had wrapped his hands for him before he got too sleepy, to prevent anything from irritating him. He looks back up at you with a weak smile.

I know love has been a stranger to you Maybe I'm the one to change it for you Won't be easy 'cause lessons feel new But the writings on the wall Love is easy.

Luke never realized it, and took you for granted. It was always you, the one who walked into his house after a messy breakup, having him break lots of things, get drunk, and say no one cares. But here you were, cleaning his home, putting him to sleep, wrapping his hands, doing what someone who cares would do.

Oh, take your time, no need for rushing things Baby, don't you know that with me, you're safe? The easy option is to run away, don't run away To hide from love, oh baby, what would it change? I been thinking 'bout some better days Lots of pressure, all I'm tryna say is Love is easy, easy. So don’t you make it hard.

You felt the runs and notes come out forcefully as you felt tears come down. You stopped the song and immediately collected yourself softly laughing. 

‘If only he knew how much I actually cared, and loved him.’ 

You got up and walked over to the door, sliding your shoes on and quickly leaving before you woke up Luke. Once you left, Luke walked over to the piano and sat down where you sat, the feeling of guilt showering over knowing you poured your heart out for him, while he sat there just listening.

You wiped your tears before driving out of his driveway, enroute to your home. You softly sing the remaining parts to the song, as you trek the devastating car ride home.

Maybe one day, you’d gain the courage to tell him that you love him.

If only love was that easy.

You furrow your brow. “I’m wearing shorts underneath.”

“Are you?” He asks and flips the dress up, a small pout on his lips when he spots the black spanx. Both of his hands are on your waist now, thumbs pushing into the spandex. He walks you back until the back of your knees hit the bed and he’s pushing you down onto it, tugging down the shorts as he lays you on your back.

“Now you’re not,” he smirks, tossing the shorts somewhere across the room.

“We have to leave in 30 minutes,” you say as Shawn climbs over top of you, his hands already undoing the belt he was wearing.

“I can be quick. Want to?”

You bite your lip and nod, taking over for him and popping open the button on his slacks. He pushes them and his boxers down just enough to get his cock out, fingers hooking in your panties and pulling them off too.

Your legs wrap around his waist and your hands hold onto his shoulders as he pushes in, stretching you with no preparation beforehand. You close your eyes tightly, humming as Shawn whispers a few apologies in your ear, promising to wait to move until you’re ready.

“I’m good,” you affirm. Your fingers tangle in the curls at the back of his head as he begins to thrust into you, his pace slow and movements gentle as you get accomodated to him but it’s not long before he’s speeding up and pounding into you, knowing you only had half an hour before your limo arrived.

Shawn dips his head down, his lips attaching to your neck.

“D-Don’t leave a mark,” you plead and he groans, pulling away.

“Later. I am so marking you up later.”

Your stomach flutters at his words, pulling him down for a heated kiss as he continues to fuck into you. The warmth in your stomach grows and you feel yourself growing close to your release.

“Shawn,” you moan, your lips just centimeters from his. “Oh my god.” You press your eyes shut, arching into his body.

It’s not long before you’re cumming, Shawn moaning as you clench around him and push him to his own orgasm.

-

His cheeks are still bright red when he cleans the both of you off and situates himself back in his pants, quickly doing up the button and the belt.

“Shawn, where did you throw my shorts?” You ask, crawling on your hands and knees searching under the covers of the bed and all around it. The smirk on his face lets you know that even if he does know where they are he’s not telling you.

You huff in annoyance, grabbing your boots and sitting in the bed. You zip them on and do your best to make sure your dress doesn’t ride up when you stand.

“We’re late,” Shawn says and grabs your hand, his free hand going to his hair to hopefully fix the damage you had done from the light pulling.

“That’s not my fault,” you argue, picking up your bag as the both of you rush down to the limo that was waiting.

He shrugs, holding open the door for you. “Next time don’t wear shorts under your dress.”

“Next time don’t be so horny,” you mock, climbing into the car.

“Dude, you’ve gotta come eat” Calum nudged Luke to get off his phone, but he still continued to look down at the instagram Y/N had posted not too long ago.

“Luke Robert Hemmings. Give me your phone.” Calum extends his hand in front of Luke and grabs his phone, leaving a numb Luke to just slump even further into the couch. “Do you think she misses me, like I do her, Cal?” He sighs tightening the strings on his hoodie to create a small hole. “I’m not sure bud. Maybe.” Luke sighed shoving his hands in his pocket.

FLASHBACK

Luke stumbled through the front door of his and the boys’ shared house, slamming the door and shushing it behind him. The smells of tequila and vodka strongly smelt in his vacinity, noting that he was definitely drunk, especially when he stumbled into the living room and flopped onto the couch, directly across from the wide awake, and most definitely worried, Calum.

“Luke, c’mon man, again?” He says frustratedly as he helps Luke up into a sitting position and sitting next to him. “I *hic* fucked up, Calum” Luke slurs, tears staining his hot and flushed cheeks. “What do you mean?” His brows furrowed in confusion. “I-I-I kissed this girl, and- *hic* I-I hurt Y- *hic* Y/N” more tears falling down his face as Calum sighs. “Luke, you didn’t hurt Y/N. You haven’t talked to her in over a year.” He says, wrapping his arm around his shoulder. 

“C-Cal, I fucked *hic* I fucked up, bad. I don’t want *hic* to kiss anyone e- *hic* else but her. Y/N is th- *hic* the love of my life, Cal. I want her back” Lukes head falls into Calum’s lap as he sobs into it, loudly crying about the girl of his dreams, and how lost her, possibly for good.

BACK TO REALITY.

“I fucked up bad, Calum.” Luke got up, and walked over to his bunk, grabbing a box from the cupboard below. “Dude, you’ve gotta keep that box out of sight. It’s only going to make this worse for you.” Calum said crossing his arms, now concerned for Luke. “Cal, just go get food without me. Bring me back something ok? I’m just gonna chill on the bus.” He shrugs and nods his head. “Don’t get too hung up on this box, Hemmings” He said walking towards the bus door.

Luke opens the box and right at the top, is polaroids, printed pictures, letters, all from Y/N. He pulls them out, one by one, reading one particular letter out loud.

Hemmings,

You make me the happiest girl in the world, and you continue to be the greatest best friend ever. No one can take your place, and I hope you know that if for some miraculous reason, we end up going separate ways, you’ll still be my best friend. You are my soulmate, Hemmings. Whether that means friends or not, you are meant to be in my life forever and I hope it stays that way. I’m incredibly proud of you and your success, and can’t wait to see you thrive and shine like you always do. You mean the absolute world to me, and I hope I get to experience all this excitement and happiness with you.Alright, i’m done with the cheesy shit. Love you always, and forever.

Y/L/N.

Luke felt the wave of guilt that rushed over him everytime he read this letter. He left Y/N, because he “got busy”, because he had tour, because he had a press party, because his best friends birthday fell on a studio night. He looked over at his phone, and did what any boy, desperate to gain the love of his life back would do. Text her.

To: Y/L/N.

hey, i miss u.

He immediately clicked send and threw his phone on the couch, out of fear of what Y/N would reply, if she would at all.

Y/N’s POV.

As you analyzed the polaroid on the floor, your phone set off a familiar text tone, something you hadn’t heard in forever. Your glare shot right to your phone and saw a text.

Hemmings: hey, i miss u.

As you scrambled to pick up your phone, you think to yourself. ‘Is he fucking joking? Is this how he’s trying to reconnect?’ but you also wanted to call him and hear his voice again.

You text him back, out of anger, and sadness.

To Hemmings:

am i supposed to say I miss u too when you didn’t give a FUCK about how I was doing this entire time?

sent.

You took the polaroid, and set it on your dresser. You weren’t happy with him, but something sparked a sadness and longing to hug him again.

The familiar text tone went off again and you rushed to your phone again.

Hemmings: i deserved that, but i want to make it up to you.

You rolled your eyes and texted back.

To Hemmings:

It’s a little too late Luke, a year and 8 months too late.

Luke’s POV

Luke sighed, reading Y/N’s angry texts. He knew he deserved what he was getting, but he knew what he was going to do to make her want to see him.

He ran to his bunk and grabbed a notepad, beginning to scribble his thoughts and pour his heart out onto the pages.

He was writing her a letter, just like she did for him.

Calum came barrelling onto the bus with Ashton and Michael cackling at something he said before they got on, and both boys walked into Luke, completely focused on the pad of paper, frantically writing.

“Dude, you good?” Calum says setting down his food on the countertop. “Can’t talk, writing. Oh and how do you guys feel about travelling to Los Angeles?”

“What do you mean?” Ashton said flopping onto the couch, Calum following immediately after.

“I meeeean, I want to perform Y/N’s song for her, live. Only for her. To prove to her how much she still means to me.”

The two boys looked at eachother and Michael sat up slightly. “Listen, Luke. If this is what you want to do, then we’ll be here for you 100%.” Calum and Ashton smiled and nodded in agreeance.

Luke beamed at his friends support, and went back to writing.

He was gonna get his girl back, but it was going to take alot of work.

But for Y/N, it was worth it.

NJAKFNJK EEEP I WROTE PART 2!!!!