#shawn fluff

You woke up with him the morning he was leaving, naked in his bed with a pounding headache. Alcohol did weird things to people, but you knew you had craved him for months and the tequila only helped you act on something you had wanted forever. He had looked so beautiful that day, so peaceful in the dimly lit room with his breathing even. You hadn’t woken him up to talk about the whole situation, instead you put a hand over his chest and fell back asleep.

When your eyes opened again, sunlight was streaming through the blinds, giving you a perfect view of the empty bed. His bags were gone, it hurt a little but it didn’t come as much of a surprise. You knew he was on a plane on his way to the other side of the world, and your friendship with him was probably too messed up for him to call you any time soon.

You were surprised when you received a text as soon as he had landed. None of you mentioned that night, you just fell back into a routine of constant texting and regular phone calls to stay in touch while you both rushed through your lives.

Things were normal for three weeks, three weeks that gave you hope he was still nothing but your best friend and things would be fine when he got back.

Missing your period and getting waves of nausea told you things wouldn’t be normal any time soon. It didn’t take you much longer to understand you were pregnant, and it took you even less time to know whose baby it was.

Four months later you were pregnant and still alone. Nothing had changed since you found out, Shawn didn’t know and your fear of being a mother was only growing.

“Hello? Are you home?” You heard his voice distantly from your bedroom.

Keys rattled in the lock as Shawn unlocked the door to your apartment, walking in without warning a little guiltily to see if you were there. He hadn’t seen you in so long, four excruciatingly long months of talking through texts and the occasional facetime. You weren’t a couple before that, just two best friends who happened to hook up on a drunken night, but he was ready to make things right. He loved you, he really did, and he was home for good. It was the perfect time for him to act on his feelings, and he desperately needed you to be home so that he could talk to you before he chickened out.

“Shawn?” You threw on sweatpants as fast as you could and stumbled out of your room to find him there.

“Hey,” His smile faltered and his expression turned to shock when he saw your swollen belly.

“I didn’t know you were home,” You were sure he wasn’t meant to be back in Toronto for another week, there was promo for him to do on his latest single.

“I didn’t know you were pregnant,” His eyes flickered from your bump to your eyes. “What… how?”

“Um, it’s kind of a long story,” You put a hand over your belly, nervously biting your lip while he nodded.

“Could’ve guessed that. How far along are you?”

“Four months,” You exhaled, watching his nod slowly once more.

“Okay, so for four months every time you were on the phone with me and I asked what was up you forgot to mention you were pregnant?” He felt his chest tighten, disbelief and hurt written all over his face.

“Something like that,” You whispered, swallowing heavily while your eyes pooled with tears.

“Shit, don’t cry,” Shawn noticed the change in your features instantly. He walked over to you and hugged you tightly, awkwardly trying to do with the bump he was just finding out about. You hid your face in his shoulder to stop yourself from crying, your arms closing around his torso. “Who… how?” He asked hesitantly when you pulled away, wiping a tear that was rolling down your cheek.

“Really? I tell you I’ve been pregnant for four months and you can’t do the math?” You stepped back to wrap your arms around yourself, watching his face change as he started to understand.

“It’s mine?”

“Yes,”

“But… what the fuck… I mean, once!” He almost choked on the words, eyes wide as he tried to understand.

“I’m not expecting anything,” You whispered, but Shawn frowned when he heard that.

“Wow hey,” He put his hands on your shoulders, rubbing up and down your arms. “We’ve been best friends since we were babies, you’ve got to know I’m gonna stick around,”

“We’re best friends who got drunk and happened to have sex, and now I’m pregnant,” You reworded, wishing you could let yourself melt into his touch without being scared.

“We’re pregnant,” Shawn corrected you.

“What?”

“We’re pregnant,” He repeated stubbornly. “It’s my baby too. We’re pregnant,”

“Oh my god, you’re such an idiot,” You half laughed half cried, not sure of what to do with the situation.

“And you’re going to have to put up with it,” He pulled you into another hug. “Just give me like… two minutes to stop freaking out,”

“Shawn?” You whispered hesitantly, a little stiff in his arms.

“Mmh?”

“My feet hurt, can I sit?”

“Oh shit, yeah, come on,” He only then seeming to realise everything that came with being pregnant, and he kicked into action so that you could both sit on the couch together.

“What are you doing?” You asked when he lifted your feet up in his lap to massage them.

“Taking care of you,” He replied like it was that simple, leaning back into the couch and staring at the wall ahead of him. It was so much for his brain to handle.

“You don’t have to do that, we’re not even together,” Your eyes remained on him, he looked so calm. You couldn’t understand how he kept his cool.

“What if we were?” He let his head roll to the side, his cheek resting against the fabric of the blue comforter you had thrown over the back of the couch.

“You’re not serious,”

“Dead serious. That’s what I came here for today, that’s why I’m back in Toronto early, to tell you I want to be with you. I got a little surprised, obviously, but it doesn’t change what I feel for you,” He was confused, shocked, but being with you was the only thing that still made sense in his mind.

“But…”

“But what? We’re not a normal couple?” He rubbed your calves softly. “We were never going to be, but now we’re going to get through this pregnancy, and then we’ll do the dumb stuff young couples do while taking care of that little guy,” He could already picture it, no more touring for a little while, more moments at home. “But we’ll be more careful, obviously, I love kids but man let’s just start with one,”

“Two,” You cut him off before he could continue.

“What?”

“There’s two, we’re… uh, we’re having twins,” You revealed, butterflies erupting in your stomach as you said ‘we’, you weren’t alone anymore.

“Two little guys?” He looked at your stomach and you laughed.

“Or two little girls,”

“Nah, they’re gonna be like me,” He grinned. “They’re gonna cause trouble and run to Mommy for kisses all the time.”

“You don’t cause trouble,” You shook your head, your cheeks heating up at the idea of kisses.

“Maybe not,” He rubbed your stomach over your shirt. “Can I?” He asked to lift your shirt and you nodded. He uncovered your belly, running a hand over the skin gently while the other reached for yours. He linked your fingers together, bringing your joint hands to his lips to kiss your knuckles.

“Shawn…” You shyly took your hand away.

“What, can’t I give my future wife a kiss?”

“You’re fucking insane,” You snorted.

“Hey! Language!” His hand came to cover your bump like he would cover a child’s ears.

“You just said you were going to marry me!” You exclaimed because you didn’t even know how to react to anything he said anymore. You were supposed to spend the night in a t-shirt and underwear, eat a bowl of pasta on the couch and cry yourself to sleep on your own.

“Yeah, so?” He kept on going, helping you relax like it was the most normal thing to do.

“You just came home, and we hooked up four months ago when we were drunk, and now you’re here and you want to be with me, to marry me, and we’re pregnant,”

“Yeah, we’re pregnant,” His smile widened. “And I’m in love with you.”

You couldn’t help but burst into tears, Shawn’s expression switching to panic in mere seconds.

“Shit, what did I say? I’m sorry!” He let you put your feet down as you crawled over the couch to hug him.

“I love you too,” You hiccupped, tears flowing down your cheeks.

“Oh honey,” He rubbed your back. “I love you so much,”

He made you dinner that night, refusing any help from you while he prepared pasta, unknowingly making you the one thing you had been craving. There was a lot for you to talk about, but there had been enough things going on for the day so you accepted to let him stay over to talk in the morning. You knew he wouldn’t leave your side until you had both come to an agreement on what would happen in the next few months.

You showered before changing into pajamas, it was all you wore day and night when you were home now. Shawn was already in your bed, shirtless and ready to fall asleep on his side like he had done a million times before.

“Everything is so much harder when you’re pregnant,” You sighed, getting into bed next to him. You were constantly exhausted, working took a lot out of you and you spent most of your weekends resting.

“Showers?” He guessed, if your feet hurt when he hugged you he could only imagine you wouldn’t want to stan in there.

“Wish I had a bath,” You adjusted your pillow under your head. “But it wouldn’t even fit in my bathroom,”

“At least it’s a rather large shower,” He tried to show you the bright side of things, but in his mind he was trying to figure out a way to tell you you should just move into his much bigger condo, with him.

“Yeah, but it’s slippery,”

“You know I can help… for anything you need me to,”

“I’m only four months in, you’re not helping me shower,”

“I’ve seen you naked,” Shawn chuckled with a shrug. “It’s not like we haven’t had sex before,”

“Bad sex,” You scrunched your nose up at the memories.

“What?” He asked, outraged while you laughed.

“You were drunk, sorry to break it to you but it wasn’t good.”

“Great,” He mumbled. “I made two babies from bad sex,” He stared at the ceiling with a pout.

“Yeah, well, you’ll make it up to me,” You used your elbow to nudge him, getting him to turn his head back towards you.

“Oh yeah?” He grinned, playfully rolling over to you to kiss your collarbone.

“Not now,” You pushed his head away with a giggle after his lips tickled your skin. “M’tired,” You told him, trying to ignore the fire his touch ignited through your body.

“Five months and we’re going to be parents,” He sighed, an arm lazily slung around you.

“Five more months of this?” You moaned. “Please no,”

“Babe!” Shawn whined only for you to swat his arm to tell him to shut up. “What do you need?”

“Silence,”

“Alright grumpy,” He sat up, unbuttoning your shirt from the bottom while you groaned.

“What do you think you’re doing?”

“For someone who wanted silence you sure talk a lot,” He shut you up and you let him undress you just enough to expose your bump. “Close your eyes,” He murmured, waiting for you to relax before he began.

The tip of his fingers started on your temples, tracing thin lines and circles as he made his way down your face. The touch sent shivers through you, but it never became more than that. He barely ran his fingers over you, gently tracing your lips before drawing your jawline to move to your neck. You breathed out slowly, your lips parted as you enjoyed the sensation.

He took his time to discover every part of your body. He traced your shoulders and your collarbone, in awe at the softness of your skin as he made his way down your chest. He could feel the small bumps and tiny hair, but you were softer than velvet and he watched you trust him enough to let him do this. His fingertips were a little rough from playing the guitar but his touch was gentle and you melted underneath him, feeling him go move over your shirt to get to your waist and your bump.

Emotions were rushing through you with every touch, and you could have cried again when you felt the softness of his lips leaving a kiss on your stomach. He was so loving, so careful with you now that you needed it. He had always been gentle, considerate of your feelings, but he also liked to tease and laugh. He was the same man that sloppily had sex with you when he was drunk, completely unaware that his hands on you were too rough to really feel good, and today he was showing you all of his love through the most gentle actions.

He drew patterns on your skin, listening to your calm breathing as you fully relaxed for the first time in weeks. You were mesmerizing, breathtakingly beautiful and glowing, and Shawn’s eyes watered when he realized how much he had missed the last few months.

He restricted his movements to your bump after a while, circling your belly button with the tips of his fingers before broadening his movements again. He watched your chest rise and fall steadily as you slept, and he slowly settled down next to you. He kept on moving his fingers even after his arm began hurting to make sure you would sleep peacefully.

His movements only stopped when he dozed off by your side, his hand still placed over your bump.

.

Everyone was a bit awkward after that answer, until Y/N leaned forward and grabbed the bottle, making it spin and dared a random dude to take off his shirt. And then everyone forgot about Peter, which he was actually very grateful. He was too embarrassed about being nearly eighteen and had never kissed someone. So he mumbled something about getting a drink and found his way to the porch, to breath a bit. He sat down at the steps that led to the backyard and he clearly remember feeling a bit weird for being there alone and having not the nicest thoughts about himself swimming on his mind, that until he felt a soft hand on his shoulder, squeezing gently.

“Pete, can I sit here with you?” Y/N’s sweet voice made him look up at her, and he nodded without saying a single word, being too afraid to not being able to talk at all.

So she simply sat down beside him and offered him her cup, he silently took it and brought it to his lips, noticing it was only a glass of water and he smiled internally. She doesn’t drink soda. She pressed a soft kiss to his shoulder and stared at the distance, just sitting there silently with him, and he was very grateful about it. She was just perfect and it seemed like she read him like a book. She leaned her head on his shoulder and he held his palm up for her to interlace their fingers, which she did, and they just stood there for a while on a comfortable silence.

“You should go back inside” was all he mumbled after a while.

“I’m not leaning you”

“But what about Brad?”

“Brad’s not my person, you are, and I feel like you could use some company” she said and Peter just hummed not knowing what to say, but Y/N did, she always did “why are you so upset, angel?”

“‘M not”

“Peter Mendes, I know you since we’re three, don’t lie to me, you know I don’t like it” she playfully scolded him and he chuckled.

“It’s just... I’m almost 18 and I never kissed anyone”

“And...?”

“I feel left out, most people done it already and I’m just here, and it’s not that I don’t want to, it’s just... girls don’t want me”

“That’s just bullshit, of course girls want you, come on, you’re so damn handsome, angel” she said squeezing his hand softly, with her chin resting on his shoulder to look up at him, but he just could never hold her gaze, not while having this conversation “and you are so damn sweet, you’re everything a girl wants”

“I just wish I could get over it, I don’t know, just kiss someone and boom, done” and with that she giggled “great, now not even you’ll take me seriously”

“No, no, I take you very seriously, it was just cute, you’re cute”

“‘M not cute” Peter grumbled feeling his face heating up and Y/N swear her heart fluttered at that.

“Yes, you are, now look at me” she demanded, but still using her soft tone, that he likes to think she saves it just for him “come on, babe”

The pet name was new and that was what made him turn to face her and mumble a soft “what?”

“You want to get this over with?” she asked and he nodded, so she smiled softly at him “then let me kiss you”

“What?! I-“

“It’s okay if you don’t want it” she said with a calm expression and her soft smile still on her face, but her heart was beating wildly “just thought that if it’s something that bothers you so much maybe I could help”

“I want it, I do” he said way to fast, making him blush and Y/N giggle softly “It’s just- I don’t know what to do”

“You do, you just don’t know that yet, it’s not rocket science, don’t overthink it” she said leaning in a bit and he held up his breath, starting to take off his glasses but she cupped his face stoping his movements and looking at her with doe eyes, she just sighed and mumbled softly “keep this on for me, baby” before pressing her lips to his softly.

It wasn’t a scandalous kiss or anything, but it was the best kiss he’s ever received on his entire life. She just pressed their lips together firmly but in a sweet way and it still made his lips tingle whenever he remembered that Y/N gave him his first kiss.

After that it was harder to push his feelings down, specially when she fell asleep with her head on his lap, holding one of his hands as the other played with her roses smelling hair. But he did his best, being pretty efficient with it, only Raul noticing it many years later when he literally felt like crying when Y/N went to meet her boyfriend’s family, the first time she ever had a very serious relationship to the point where she met the guy’s parents. Shawn suspected but never had the guts to ask, afraid he would only upset Peter, but Raul did, since they lived together and she was always around them, making it harder for him to hide his love for her.

But what mattered to him is that she was clueless about his feelings for her, which was all he ever wanted, for their friendship to not be ruined. He rather have her as his friend than nothing at all. And he loved being her friend, being able to cuddle with her on his couch and even sometimes in bed, even if it was just a platonic thin. Holding her to his chest till she fell asleep to his steady heartbeat and soft caresses.

That’s why, when he was having almost a mental breakdown and over stressing himself over a test he had the other day and he heard her voice alongside with Raul’s coming from the front door he felt his heart calming down a bit. Her presence making him feel better almost instantaneously even being on another room. He heard her heels clicking against the floor as she got closer to the rooms, and Raul mumbling something that he couldn’t quite get that made her giggle softly. He then heard a soft knock and saw Raul poking his head through the door to see if he was awake or busy.

“Hey, Peter, just wanted to check on you and let you know that Y/N’s here, how are you?”

“I’m fine, just studying, is she going to crash here?”

“Yeah, I thought it was too late to send her home, rather have her here safe and sound” Raul said and Peter nodded.

Even though Raul had a hard exterior, he was a real softie inside, specially towards his family and Y/N.

“You’re right, is she there with you?”

“Yeah, she’s afraid you’re going to kick her out”

“I’d never do that to her”

“Told ya, darling” Raul said turning to what Peter imagines to be her on the hallway “I’m gonna head to bed, kay? You know you’re way around the house, I’d stay up with you, but I’m dead tired, hun”

“It’s okay, Raul, thank you, I’m just going to say hi to Pete and head to bed” he heard she speaking softly.

“Okay, goodnight” Raul said before turning his head back inside Peter’s room “goodnight, champ, try to sleep a bit and Y/N wants to say hi”

“Goodnight, Raul” was all Peter said before his brother left and his best friend peaked in “hi there”

“Hi, I know you’re busy, so I won’t take too much of your time, just wanted to say hi”

“It’s okay, come in” he said and he saw her tiptoeing inside, careful to shut the door softly.

She walked straight to him, pushing the book on his lap to the side, so she could sit there and not destroy his notes, wrapping her arms around his neck and breathing him in “I missed you a bit”

“Yeah?” he asked wrapping his arms around her, trying so hard to keep his tone steady “missed you too, angel, college’s been a bit too hard on you, eh?”

“Yeah, on you too, but you’re too good for this, and God, why are you so comfy, Peter? I could literally just spend my night in here” she said nuzzling her face on his neck.

There was nothing new here. She was always very touchy, specially with Peter since he corresponder her touches so nicely. But whenever they spend too many days apart from each other, they both get very clingy, the difference is that Peter’s still worried sick about his test and it’s still too shy around her to take the initiative. Although he never complains when she’s being a bit too needy, he just enjoys her presence.

“I promise you as soon as I finish my last test tomorrow, we can watch as many movies and cuddle as much as you want”

“Sounds perfect” she mumbled before leaning down to take of her heels and he couldn’t help but notice that the little black dress she was wearing had ridden higher than it should, and he has to look away “I’m going to leave you alone now, but don’t overwork yourself, I’m pretty sure you know more than the teacher himself, you’re my little genius? Aren’t you?”

Her question was pretty inocente, but it made Peter swallow down hard as he answered with a short “yes”

“Great, goodnight, angel” she smiled at him and pressed a light kiss to his cheek “see you in the morning” she got off his lap and grabbed her stuff as he replied softly.

But before she left, she looked back at him and to shoot him a little wink, closing the door behind herself as she shuffled to Shawn’s/ guest room.

Great, now he’s stressed and want to grab her gorgeous face and smash her lips with his.

                                                      -*-

Some time into the night, Y/N was restless cause she’s done her last test in the morning and slept all afternoon before Raul picked her up to go out with him for a few drinks. She was bored of looking through social media and rolling from side to side on the bed, and since she was comfortable enough with the guys to just go to the kitchen and grab a glass of water or maybe, if she was lucky, Peter baked muffins like he did every Friday and then steal one for her. So when she was about to head to the kitchen, she saw that Peter’s light was still on at 1AM she got worried and hesitantly walked to his room, wearing just his hoodie as a sleep atire. She knocked softly and there was no response, which almost made her take a step back and go mind her own business, until she heard a little sob.

That was all it took for her to softly open the door and slip in to check on the soft boy that was always on her mind and heart. He was laying on the floor, with his feet up the bed and an arm over his eyes, trying to hold back his sniffles and hiccups, and he didn’t even noticed her presence. She took in the way he was on the verge of a panic attack and the room was a mess. So she softly padded to him and kneeled beside him, which startled him and he sat right up trying to dry his face as best as he could.

“Shh, it’s okay, baby, I’m here now” she said cupping his face softly and he leaned in, pulling her right to his chest, trying to use her as a way to ground himself.

They don’t know how much time it took him to collect himself and breath again normally, still letting out a few hiccups and sniffles, but that didn’t stop her from cooing at him softly and scratch at his scalp just the way he liked. They stood there just holding onto each other in silence as he calmed down a bit more, until Peter was leaning away to face her. She started caressing his cheek softly.

“I’m sorry”

“Shh, don’t, it’s fine, you didn’t do anything wrong, baby, why don’t you go to your bathroom and take a warm shower, huh? I’ll make you some tea while you’re in there, okay?” Y/N asked searching his eyes and he nodded, sighing softly “good, baby, now go”

She got up and offered her hands to him, and he took it getting up, heading straight to the bathroom. Y/N ran around the room to put all his notes and books away neatly, getting his bed ready for him to lay and to be cozy. Then she went to the kitchen and made him a calming tea, when she got back, she heard him sobbing inside the bathroom and placed his tea on the first place she could, knocking on the bathroom door.

“Pete? It’s me, baby, open up for me” she tried as softly as she could, trying to hide her panic away as best as she could “please, baby, just want to hold you”

And then she heard a little click, which meant the door was now unlocked, and she just pushed it open as soon as she was able. He was sitting beside the door, looking completely lost and seeming to not being able to breath properly. So Y/N kneeled down again and cupped his face softly.

“Hey, Peter, it’s okay, everything’s fine, I’m here with you, baby, and I’m not leaving you again, okay?” she asked caressing his face softly and she believes she saw him nodding very subtly, his eyes wide “okay, breath with me, angel, yeah?” she offered exaggerating her motions on purpose, so he could follow it easily, and he did “that’s it, you’re doing so good, baby, so good for me”

They kept on with that for a while, until she saw him shivering from the cold tiles on the bathroom wall “you should go to bed” was he managed to say.

“Don’t worry about me, I wasn’t asleep anyway” she gave him a soft smile, placing a kiss on his forehead “let’s get you to change into something and go to bed, okay?”

She knew he showered for the amazing smell on his bathroom and the foggy mirror. So Y/N helped him stand on his own pace, giving him a boxer and sweatpants so he could change, turning around for some privacy, until she felt him leaning into her and tugging her closer. She coaxed him into drinking a bit of the tea to calm him down a bit and convinced him to lay down on his mattress, tucking him in.

“You should get back into bed”

“I’m not leaving you, Pete, do you want me to sleep here? I can bring the pillows and sleep on the floor to give you some spa-“

“No, sleep with me on the bed” he cut her off a lot more confident than he was before, but since he was still Peter, he added a soft ‘please’ in the end.

“Of course” she said before plopping down beside him as he pulled her to his chest.

They’ve been here before, through the whole thing. And she was always the best medicine to calm him down, it was just her soft touches and little encouragements that kept him going. He felt a little helpless for needing her so much and tears started prickling in his eyes all over again, but before he could go through the whole process again, she cupped his cheek and leaned in, their lips barely touching and he felt the air leaving his lungs for a very different reason. His gaze fell to her rosy lips as she kept on staring at his eyes to see if something changed on his mindset.

“I want to try something” it was barely above a whisper but he heard her clearly “I’ve read somewhere it helps to keep your mind a away and clear your thoughts so... can I kiss you, Pete?” she added softly and all he could do was nod.

She then brought her lips to his in a tender and sweet kiss, making their eyes flutter shut as she kept on rubbing soft circles on his cheek with her thumb. And it was just like his first kiss over again. Her soft lips pressing into his, butterflies having a wild party on his stomach, and fireworks everywhere, and suddenly, she was all he could think about and all he could sense, so he pushed his shy side a bit and brought her closer, kissing her more surely and more firmly. But after a short while, she pulled back for air, but not before placing a quick peck on his pouting lips.

“It works” was all he mumbled and she let out a soft giggle and he hummed in response, felling a bit airy.

“Good to know” she said pushing his curls back “I love you too much to see you hurting, baby”

“I love you too” was his response and she smiled at him as they fell into an easy conversation.

And he suddenly felt exhausted, letting out a long yawn and she gave him a knowing look.

“I know, I guess I should sleep”

“You do” she said playing with his wild curls “and so do I”

“Mhmm” was all he said “about-“

“Shh, we’ll talk in the morning, huh, after class” he noticed how she avoided the test thing and he was grateful, pressing a kiss to her forehead and laying on her chest as she kept on petting his hair.

“Goodnight, angel”

“Night, Peter” she answered and he blacked out, exhaustion due to the events taking over his body.

                                                      -*-

Waking up was a bit harder than usual, but still, easier than he expected. After last night’s events he was worried he wouldn’t be able to get up, but he did anyway. And he was still feeling a bit insecure, but somehow Y/N managed to get in his head and make him feel like maybe he was capable of doing this test. Speaking of Y/N, Peter felt incredibly warm waking up wrapped up in her, with her smell clouding his senses a bit and that was what made him get up a little bit more excited than usual. His lips still tingled from the simple kiss she gave him last night and he had a stupid grin plastered on his face

He carefully pealed himself from her grasp and managed to make her cuddle to his pillow instead, so he went to the kitchen to grab some coffee and came back with his mug as silently as he could to change. He thought he was doing pretty well when he was buttoning up his jeans, still shirtless when he heard a faint sigh, making him turn around immediately, only to find Y/N smiling sleepily at him wrapped in his blanket. She knuckled at her eyes and outstretched a hand for him to take, and he did it automatically, stepping closer to her like a magnet. She held his hand and place on the back of it a sweet kiss before lacing their fingers

“Just a good luck kiss” she mumbled with a heavy sleep voice and he couldn’t hold back a little chuckle.

“Thank you” Peter replied, sitting at the edge of the bed beside her, running his free hand through his hair, watching her eyes flutter shut “go back to sleep, angel, it’s too early and you’re free to sleep in”

“I will, I just wanted to say good morning first and wish you good luck”

And with that, Peter’s smile could light up the whole building as his heart swelled twice as big “well, good morning” he said leaning in to press a kiss on her forehead “I gotta go, but I’ll come back for lunch, okay?”

“Mhmm” she murmured as she wrapped her fingers on the necklace around his neck, holing him closer to her, pressing a kiss on the corner of his mouth and looking up at him with big doe eyes “good luck, Pete”

He nodded at her, unable to form a proper sentence as his heart stammered on his chest. He got up and reached for his stuff to leave, but before he could, he heard Y/N calling for him with a little giggle, so he turned around looking at her, silently asking her what’s wrong.

“I know your hot, Pete, but I’d rather have this view all to myself, even though it’s selfish, but do you mind putting on a shirt before leaving?” she asked between little giggles and he blushed, grabbing the first hoodie he saw to throw over his head as he mumbled a quick “sorry” and leaving the room.

When he clicked the door closed, he heard her mumbling something and still giggling a bit, making a smile appear on his face as he left for the test.

                                                      -*-

Peter left the test with his chest finally feeling light, he felt happy and finally free from the stress that was consuming him. Eager to go back home and find his girl, even though she has no idea of it, still laying lazily on his bed or maybe cooking lunch with Raul, cause the dude couldn’t even boil water. He just wanted to kiss her face and thank her for calming him down for the night and the test, he was just so damn happy. He opened the door to his apartment, only to hear noises coming from the kitchen and music playing softly at the background. And he swear he’s not the type to eavesdrop, but when he hear Raul saying his name he couldn’t help it.

“So you kissed Peter? Out of nowhere?! Wasn’t that a bad idea? With the whole situation you got with him and feelings?” Raul asked and Peter started panicking, did she know he liked her? Or fell for her?!

“I mean, maybe” Peter could literally see her shrugging “but I-, he was just-, I was scared, okay? I’ve never seen him like that before! You would’ve done the same if you were on my shoes, hell, you were the one who told about kissing helps when you’re spiraling, you read the damn article!”

“I know, I just didn’t expect you to do it, specially with him!”

“Why wouldn’t I do it? Raul, seeing him like that broke me, I love Peter with my whole heart, I-, I just wanted to help him, that’s my job as his friend, and if kissing him helps, than I’d do it again”

“Sorry, I-, I just got worried this would make things weird” Raul sighed.

“Of course not, at least it didn’t seem like it did, he’s my best friend, Raul, there are no romantic feelings involved”

“Sure... Shawn’s coming home in a week”

“Oh that’s awesome, I miss him”

“Of course you do, you miss everyone but me”

“Oh, shut up, Raul”

And that was harder to listen than to have a knife in your heart. Peter couldn’t help dropping his backpack to the floor still a bit numb with the whole conversation. Which made Y/N come out of the kitchen, still in his hoodie, holding a pan.

“Oh, great, you’re home!” Y/N greeted him cheerfully and he just gave her a small smile.

“Is it Peter?” Raul called from the kitchen.

“Yeah” she came closer to him with a smile on her face “how was the test, Pete?”

It took him a while to respond, his heart feeling heavy “It was fine”

“Was it really? You seem a bit off” she said gently pressing a delicate hand to his forehead to check his temperature “are you feeling okay?”

“Hey, Peter, Shawn called to say he’s coming home for a few days” Raul finally came into view but quickly a frown formed on his face “what’s wrong? are you feeling sick?”

“I’m fine, guys” Peter said leaning away from Y/N’s hand and he saw a bit of hurt grace her features, but it quickly faded “just a bit tired, that’s all, the test went great, Y/N, thank you, I’m just going to lay down for a while, okay?”

He felt bad seeing a little pout forming on her lips, guilt almost, he didn’t have a good reason to push her away. It was not her fault he felt miserable, she didn’t lead him to anything, she was just being her caring and completely oblivious self. It wasn’t fair but Peter couldn’t help it.

“Okay, hmm we’re doing your favorite dish to cheer you up a bit, I’ll call you when it’s done, okay?” she asked taking a step back and he nodded.

“Thanks” was all he said before getting his stuff and going to his room.

He laid down on his bed, still smelling her perfume on his sheets, but decided to ignore and let the sleepiness that was already there take him to dreamland. He didn’t even noticed that time went by until he felt someone lightly shaking his shoulder and he opened his eyes, only to be met with his brother.

“Hey, Peter, lunch is ready”

“Oh sorry, didn’t notice I fell asleep”

“It’s okay, hmm-, are you really just tired?”

“Yeah, just tired”

“So there’s nothing to do with the fact that you listened to me and Y/N talking about yesterday?”

“How did you-?”

“I saw you standing there after a few seconds into the conversation, but she didn’t”

“Oh... yeah, sorry”

“It’s okay, but if it made you feel this miserable to push her away not so subtly to the point where she’s literally beating herself up for thinking she did something wrong, just maybe you should talk to her”

“And tell her what? That I love her? She would laugh at me”

“Oh, Peter, this is Y/N we’re talking about, she’d never laugh at you, she loves you endlessly, and when everything thought you were weird for never kissing anyone, she called out everyone for being ridiculous and ran after you and even kissed you”

“I know, it’s just hard”

“I know, but try talking to her, you’d be surprised”

“Okay”

“Let’s go eat, she really outdid herself, trying to impress you”

“Oh”

“Yeah, now come on, Peter” Raul said patting his shoulder and Peter was grateful, he know Raul’s not the most sensitive guy on the outside, but he’s thankful that he’s always trying his best to understand Peter’s pout of view.

They went to the kitchen, only to find the table set beautifully with a really amazing smelling pasta on the center. Y/N was just coming back with a bottle of whine and a few glasses.

“Oh, hi” she offered him her softest smile “are you feeling a bit better?”

“Yeah, thank you” was all he answered and she nodded.

They ate in a bit of an awkward silence, with Raul and Y/N sometimes trying to make conversation but Peter was just too much in his head, so they didn’t pressure him, instead, just keeping it quiet so he would have space. After lunch they took the stuff back to the kitchen and she started with the dishes as Peter helped her, but Raul had to leave to pick up his phone, leaving them both alone.

“So...”

“I’m-, I think we need to talk” Peter sighed and she bit her lower lip nodding.

“Sure, I just have somethings to do cause I thought you would want some space, but I can come back as soon as I’m done”

“Oh, okay, is it like soon?”

“Ah bit, Brad’s in town and he called when you were asleep cause he needed someone to talk to, and I told him I’d be free after lunch”

“Oh, sorry, didn’t know you were close friends”

“We’re not that close” she answered finishing up washing as Peter dried.

“You used to be”

“Not really”

“Weren’t you two like a thing?”

“Kind of, nothing serious though, but that was back in high school”

“Didn’t know you still talked to him, that’s all, sorry”

“No need to apologize, I was a bit surprised, but apparently he just needs a friend right now”

“Yeah, he’s lucky to have you” he replied finally looking up at her and she just shrugged.

“I’ll come back soon, okay? Right now I need to go and change to meet him”

“Okay”

“Bye, Peter” she said walking away already ready to leave, and even though he wanted to ask her to stay, he wouldn’t be selfish, so he let her go one more time, and hopefully the last one.

                                                      -*-

Later that day, Raul left to meet up with some friends and Peter was losing hope that Y/N was actually going to come back to talk, it was almost 7PM when he heard a knock on the front door. He spent the whole day doing nothing, waiting for her so that they could talk and feeling a bit nervous, but when he opened the door he calmed down a bit. She had a backpack on her shoulder and was rocking sweatpants and a T-shirt. Peter let her in and she got in, so he took her stuff to his bedroom as she sat down on the living room waiting for him, with her shoes already beside the couch, she hated wearing them at home.

“How were things with Brad?”

“He’s better now, he got into a huge fight with his sister because of his girlfriend and he was a little lost on what to do” Y/N answered as they sat side to side awkwardly on the couch.

“Oh, family drama, I feel bad for him”

“Yeah, me too, but let’s forget about him, huh? How are you?”

“Me? I’m fine”

“Pete-, you didn’t seem fine and I’m really sorry about the kiss, maybe it was a bad timing and I shouldn’t have done it, I didn’t want thinks to get weird, I know we’re just friends, and I don’t know if it was it or something else that threw you off, I’m just so sorry, I hate when you’re mad or upset with me, and-“

“Hey hey, no, stop” Peter cut her off as he gently cupped her face “it’s not your fault, you didn’t do anything wrong, you’re fantastic and helped me so much yesterday, I’m the one who shouldn’t have snapped at you for no reason, and I’m sorry”

“But I-“

“Not your fault, I’m not mad or upset at you, only at myself if I’m honest”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, one hundred percent”

“So we’re fine?”

“Perfectly fine”

“Oh, thank God” Y/N said throwing her arms around his neck and pulling him in for hug, which took him a bit by surprise, but he quickly wrapped his arms around her waist “I was so worried about you all day, couldn’t focus on anything else”

“I’m sorry” he mumbled into her hair.

“No, shush, it’s okay, want to order some pizza and watch a movie? I don’t have anything tomorrow, so I don’t have time to head home”

“Or you could just spend the night here”

“Again? Aren’t you tired of me yet?”

“That’ll never happen”

“I can be pretty annoying, Peter” she said letting go of him so sit back on her knees.

“That’s not true, you’re perfect”

“And you’re too sweet for your own good” she said bopping  his nose which made him chuckle.

“So that means you’ll stay?”

“Only if I pay for the pizza, is only fair”

“But you made lunch!”

“Raul helped me and it was with the stuff on your kitchen”

“Come on, let me make it up to you by buying you some pizza”

“Nope, you don’t have to make up to me, we’re fine, remember?”

“Yeah, fine”

“Good, now pick a movie” she said before grabbing her phone to order in.

Peter turned on the TV and Raul’s words kept swimming on his thoughts as he rummaged  through the options, choosing a particular romcom Y/N liked very much automatically. She then finished the order and locked her phone, hugging her legs close to her chest as she looked up at the tv, but he robotically held her ankle and placed her feet on his lap. And this is exactly why he ignored many opportunities they had throughout their years of friendship to tell her how much he loved her. He didn’t want this to change, this comfortable and familiar, almost domestic routine they had whenever they’re together. He’d rather never have her as anything other than a friend than losing her.

But something about Raul telling him to talk to her, encouraging him to profess his feelings set him off. Raul is never the one to tell someone to just talk feelings without a reason, he’d never directly tell someone how they should live their lives, that’s just Raul. He said it like this was going to be for the best, but Peter just didn’t see how this could be better than what they had. It didn’t make sense. So that’s why he was most likely going to let this opportunity sleep from his fingers one more time, but what he wasn’t counting on was Y/N, being the little observant thing she was noticing there was still something bothering him. So when she confronted him about it, it took him by surprise.

“Why are you lying to me?” she asked out of the blue, making him turn his face to her, only to notice she’d been staring at him the whole time.

“What?!”

“Peter, I know you like the back of my hand, what on earth is going on? You know you can tell me anything”

“I wish I could” he mumbled under his breath but she heard it nonetheless.

“No, no, no, you know you can, come on, it’s just me” she said pulling her feet away from his lap and kneeling beside him on the couch, sitting down on her knees “talk to me, Peter, what’s bothering you?”

And he had to close his eyes for a second and take a deep breath. She noticed he was struggling and placed her hand delicately on his shoulder, squeezing it softly, and starting to rub soothing circles.

“It’s just about what you were talking to Raul when I arrived”

“About Shawn? You know you don’t have to be jealous, I know he doesn’t like to share cuddles, but we can manage it, I didn’t know it bothered you that much”

“It’s not that, well, I didn’t see it that way, but now I do and it’s not great, don’t like to share your cuddles either”

“Then what is- oh!” he could literally see the puzzles fitting on her pretty little head “oh, God, I’m so sorry, I never meant it to be awkward, that’s why I never brought it up”

“So you knew all along?”

“Yeah, for years now”

“And you didn’t- you didn’t push me away?”

“Of course not, that would only hurt us even more, it was already a sensitive topic for me”

And with that he felt a bit better that if she didn’t push him away knowing it all the time, then she wouldn’t now. But at the same time it hurt, that she knew and acted normally, being her touchy self even though knowing he was in love with her. It was a soft way of rejecting him, and it could be worse, but still hurt.

“Yeah, I can understand why”

“Is that why you pushed me away? I know it was a bit to take in, but I didn’t want things to change” she said and he’s not sure he got it.

“Well yeah, it’s not nice hearing that”

“Oh” he could literally see the tears forming on Y/N’s eyes and he suddenly wanted to punch himself to make her sad.

“Shit, don’t cry, angel, it’s okay now, we’re okay, yeah?” he said cupping her face gently and catching the first tear before it could go very far “you’re not going to change our dynamics, we’re happy like this, right?”

“Mhmm” was all she mumbled between a few sobs, a way to hold back her urge to cry and if Peter was confused before, this was all getting worse.

“Why are you crying, hun? I’m the one who should be sad”

“How is that? I don’t get it, Pete, is it that bad that I’m in love with you?” she said it with a little whimper and his heart stopped. Literally stopped.

He just sat there with wide eyes as confusion mixtures with sadness on her eyes. She wrapped her fingers gently around his wrist and took his hands away from her face.

“I’m sorry for saying it out loud” she managed to get out “I think I should go” but before she could slip off the couch, Peter grabbed her hand “it’s okay, Peter, I’ll be fine”

“No, wait, you got it all wrong”

“I’m pretty sure I didn’t, you said it’s not nice hearing that I like you, so yeah, that hurts”

“What?! No! Baby, please let me explain, please” and even though she was hurting, she could never say no to him, so she just sighed and sat back down.

“Alright”

“Thank you” he said taking a deep breath “I was trying to tell you that I was feeling a bit down today because I heard your talk with Raul, and I’m sorry about that, I know that’s wrong, it’s just when I heard my name I couldn’t help it”

“It’s okay” she whispered trying to stop the tears from falling.

“No, it’s not, ‘cause it caused us all this mess and I made you cry ‘cause I can’t seem to simply tell you, for years now, that I’m so in love with you it hurts, and it was awful, hearing from you that you kissed me and that’s just because we’re friends”

“You what?!”

“I know, I’m sorry, I should’ve told you sooner”

“Oh no, Pete, you got it all wrong, I was trying to convince myself that we’re just friends, because I was so sure you didn’t like me like that” Y/N said rubbing her face with her palms to get the tears dried “we’re so damn stupid”

“I can’t believe you fell for me” Peter said trying to hold back a boyish grin from blossoming on his lips “you’re too good for me”

“Shut up, you’re perfect, it was hard not to fall for you” she said and Peter just pulled her into a tight hug “it was always you, Pete”

With that, he kept her tight in his arms as if he didn’t believe this was all real and that he wasn’t going to wake up from this dream. She didn’t seem to mind, not making any effort to pull away, just buried herself deeper in his embrace. But after a while, she pulled away just bit, cupping his face gently as his hands found home on her waist.

“What?” was Peter mumbled.

“Nothing, I- what’s going on on that pretty head of yours?” she gently asked, pushing his curls back softly only to start playing with them.

“I just can’t believe this is real and that this isn’t a dream”

“I hope it’s real, and if it’s a dream, I really don’t want to wake up” she answered and leaned her forehead on his.

Peter’s breath got caught on his throat, and before he could say a word, she leaned in completely pressing her lips to his tentatively making his mind go blank. But before she could pull back and completely regret her impulsive decision, one of his hands trailed up to the back of her neck to keep her head in place as he kissed her back. It was a sweet and gentle kiss, as if to make sure this was really happening. However, when he pulled her a bit closer and she let out a little whimper, they were both gone.

He swiped his tongue on her bottom lip and she quickly opened her mouth to him, automatically deepening the kiss and letting all those butterflies lose. And even thought this was more urgent, it was still Y/N’s Peter, só he was gentle and respectful all the time, hesitantly moving his hands and constantly looking for her consent in the subtlest gestures. Unfortunately they needed air, so they had to pull back eventually, but she kept mere inches apart, with their breaths mixing a bit and they both couldn’t help a huge smile appearing on their features.

“I guess this felt too real to be a part of my imagination” he said lowly as Y/N chuckled.

“Yeah, even though I have thought about our first kiss few too many times to be honest”

“Really?!”

“Of course, I always had a crush on you”

“Even back then?!”

“Sure, kissing you just worsened it, I was crazy about you, Raul wanted to tape my mouth”

“Why?”

“Cause he couldn’t stand me just gushing about his baby bro and not acting on it”

“Yeah, he did the same to me for years”

“He’s a little shit”

“He really is... was I bad?”

“What?”

“Back then, the kiss... was it bad?”

“Oh, Pete” Y/N giggled “of course not, if it was, I wouldn’t be dreaming about kissing you again, silly”

“You have?”

“Yes”

“Well, now you can... you know, it you wan-“ Peter was cut off by her lips colliding with his one more time, this time a bit more urgent and less innocent.

Well, to say Peter was finally happy was and understatement, he was over the moon.

                                                       -*-

*Please reblog or like this post if you liked it so I’ll know.

*I’m sorry if there are any spelling mistakes.

*Please do not repost this without giving me the credit, this is a completely original piece and I do not give permission to copy this!

*Hope you guys enjoyed it!

*xoxo

Waking up in his arms with the sun lighting up their skin was something that she wasn't blessed enough to enjoy often. And she couldn't really do much but simply blame the fact that they both loved their professional lives, and wouldn't give up any part of finally getting to live their dreams for the sake of their relationship. Of course she hated the distance, and so did he. There were nights when they would miserably miss each other, and while of course they had the little technology they knew to see each other's faces and blow kisses via FaceTime, they wouldn't get the feverish touch of each other's skin that they craved, the endless kisses or the warmth of being in each other's presence that they both yearned for after a long, tiring day. Their only solution to balancing everything out was to make the best of the time they got with each other every now and then, and so, he got used to flying back on days off and she came to terms with taking surprise flights to go give her boyfriend a good luck kiss before he jammed out on stage whenever her job kept her free. Not to forget that it didn't really always pan out well with the mess of the schedules that they both worked on but nevertheless, they never stopped giving their relationship their all because no matter how hard it got sometimes, love is a magical thing that always overpowered everything else, so somehow it would all just work out in the end.

She sighed in content as she snuggled closer to Shawn, her hair softly tickling his chin. She looked up at him once again, and kissed him this time not giving a care for whether he was awake or not. The feeling of her lips on his woke him up, and she cringed at herself when he stirred, eyes fluttering open.

"Someone seems a little too impatient this morning, eh?" She smiled on hearing his morning raspy voice and pushed away the thought of not having it the next day. His eyes were half closed and his curls were a mess but she still didn't miss the twinkle in his eyes when he smiled down at her. It was now his turn to peck her lips, and as they met his mouth, he pulled her closer and swiftly lifted her off the bed and had her sit right on his stomach, hands splayed across his chest. 

"Says you, who couldn't wait till I was done with my phone call last night." Her cheeks heated up and he had a smug smile on his face as they both reminisced their shenanigans from the previous night, the way his fingers worked their way under her lacy underwear while she was engrossed in discussing something work related with her colleague.

The thought of work (and sex, but she can think about that later) reminded her of the email she received three days ago, the morning Shawn had returned from tour. It was about a job offer in Toronto to be an editor for a well established magazine. He knew she had applied for the position, in fact he was the one who pushed her to when she kept complaining about how it would be impossible to actually get it. She did want to talk to him about the offer, but only after she knew for sure whether she was ready for a big change or not. And after a lot of thinking she figured that the opportunity would open so many new doors for her to grow and establish herself. She loved her work in LA but she had to admit that it was monotonous and there was nothing new for her to learn from drafting those articles anymore. With the new job she could also be closer to her family, and at the end of the day Toronto is where Shawn's home is too, not that it was really a deciding factor but she still considered it. She never thought she'd be one to make career decisions based on her relationship. She grew up with the idea of being an independent, self sufficient and confident woman who stood on her own two feet with her head held high. But love came in the way, consumed her. He consumed her, gave her his all, and literally breathed for her. And it would only be a big, fat, shameful lie if she said that it wasn't the same for her with him.

So now here she was, sitting on his pretty tummy with her mind lost in thought, trying to find the right moment to bring up that goddamn email with the most luring offer she'd ever gotten since the beginning of her career. She didn't want to upset him by saying she wanted to move, but she needed to talk about it. She knew in her heart that the job fit her needs and her dreams. She knew it was the right place to go to, and no matter how convenient living in LA made her relationship with Shawn, it was high time she gave herself the opportunity to grow. And who was she kidding, she wouldn't ever find anyone more supportive than him no matter how hard she tried, so yes, she knew it would practically take nothing for Shawn to support her with this decision, but the fact that she'd have to do it by that night before he we went back on the road did give her a good amount of stress.

"Baby, is everything okay? You haven't registered a single word I said." 

His fingers resting on her waist drew small soothing circles on her skin as he pulled her closer to him, craning his neck up to meet her halfway and leave comforting kisses, the first to her lips and the second on the tip of her nose. She gave him a small smile that anyone would gladly accept, but Shawn being Shawn knew it was half-assed and could see the worry roaming behind her beautiful eyes. 

"So is this the part where you tell me what's wrong or do I have to ask again?"

There was no avoiding it anymore, she had to talk about it. She slid off his frame and sat down, pulling her legs close to her chest. The sudden change in her demeanor caused Shawn to straighten up against the headboard and face her. She saw the lines his concern drew on his forehead and before even she could reach her hand out to smoothen them his big paws engulfed her tiny, warm ones, fingers carefully lacing into hers. 

"Now spill, I'm listening." His reassuring smile that came after was enough to get the conversation started.

"Okay." She dragged, not knowing where to begin. His patient eyes didn't leave hers for even just a second as she reminded him of the application she made the first time and then told him about the offer, the position, the work she'd be doing and how it seemed a lot more interesting when compared to what she was doing at the moment. Shawn was always a good listener, and just like every other time, he paid attention to every detail and didn't cut her off a single time so that she could fully pour out how she felt about everything. She told him the whole story and finally let out a breath she didn't know she was holding in for that long.

"So yeah, that's what's up. I love the offer but I'm scared about moving and I don't know if it's the right thing to do."

"Okay first of all, I'm so proud of you, love. I can't ever say this enough but I am literally" a kiss to her lips, "sooo proud of you. I knew you'd get it, you are the most talented writer I know, and I mean that with my entire being." It was funny how even after more than a year of being with him she still giggled and blushed at his compliments like a kid in high school. 

"What does your heart say?" 

"My heart says I should take the leap and try something new. This is probably what I've always wanted in terms of my career. But I think-"

"No 'buts' baby. If this is what you want, you should go for it. What's stopping you?" 

"This. Us. Me being in LA makes it so easy for us, we always get to see each other a lot more because at the end of the day this is where we both work. And yes we're both Canadian but let's face it, how often do we actually visit home?" The crack in her voice at the end gave her away and her glossy eyes fell to their intertwined hands, tears threatening to spill out.

"Hey, look at me. Look right at me." He now had his hands pressed against her cheeks and he lifted her face up so she could meet his gaze.

"We can make this work no matter where you go. You could be in fucking space and I will still love you just as much as I do right now. I love you so much, but you will never hold yourself back for the sake of our distance. Not under my watch. Okay?" And that was all it took for the tears to tumble down her face, except for that they ended up being happy ones.

"I love you so much, Shawn."

"And I love you more."

Her hands went to either side of his neck and he pulled her closer as her soft, pink lips connected with his. He pushed his tongue against hers and kissed her back with everything he had. His neck tilted sideways to give her a better angle, their mouths doing a patterned choreography that they knew all too well. He ended it with one wet kiss square on her lips, the smooching sound making her giggle loudly. They stayed that way, foreheads touching each other's, her hands, one around his neck and the other grabbing his hair, and his arms wrapped around her tiny frame pressed against his chest. This was all they ever wanted, young and in love, staying in bed an hour after they woke up, silly kisses and even sillier I love you's. It was perfect. 

"So there's something I've been keeping secret for a while because I wanted to wait till the end of tour. But right now feels like the perfect moment to tell you. Also the fact that I don't think I can keep it in anymore, but that's secondary." 

"Go on." She nodded, sitting back down while smiling at him.

"I did a lot of thinking and I realised that the end of four albums and four tours is a good time to take a much needed break and live a little normal life." He made air quotes on 'normal'. "And it would also make more time for me to spend with you. We deserve to have a normal relationship too, you know?"

"Shawn I'm so glad you realise you need a break."

"Wait I'm not done yet, here's the best part. The condo in Toronto is dull and empty, so... I'm coming with you to Toronto. I'll be there as soon as I'm done with tour " He smiled at her.

"Shawn, you don't have to! You have so much going on for you over here."

"No, I want to. I'll stay for however long, record the next album over there whenever I feel like it, but I'm going to be right there. I'll be there after a long day of work to give you back rubs, I'll be there to cook you some pasta, give you endless cuddles, keep you up on a weeknight for.. you know what." He had to add a little wink in there. "Point is, I love you and I love my job but I need a break from it to love you and myself a little more. And there is nothing in the world that I want more than that right now. So yes, I'm coming with you to Toronto."

She was at a loss for words. She didn't know what to say. The wide smile pasted on her lips and the tears in her eyes told Shawn more than her words could ever. Not knowing how to react, she plunged into his arms with a shriek and he let out a loud laugh as his back hit the mattress, her body going down with his.

"This is really happening." She breathed out, feeling his lips press a kiss to the crown of her head. His fingers stroked her hair and their smiles didn't seem to fade for what felt like hours. She could already imagine going to see her parents or his on weekends, build forts for movie night, reconnect with their old friends and relatives, get to take Karen's dog on walks, house parties, everything. Just the mere picture of their life in Toronto was enough to fill her with a buzz of endorphins. It felt so right. It suddenly felt like her life was pieced back together. She was going to live the life of her dreams, this time with the man of her dreams. It felt perfect.

"So.. Canada, huh?"

"Canada it is." 

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This is only my third fanfic and I'm still learning, so I hope you liked it. You can take a look at my masterlist for my other works right here. If you have any feedback or tips please feel free to tell me, it would be very much appreciated as I'm still new to this x

Your mind wandered to the previous night (early morning?) immediately as soon as he entered your stream of thoughts. Soon enough, that was all you could think about, the rant long-forgotten. Shawn’s tired, yet glimmering eyes seemed to be the main attraction of your thoughts. There had been something swimming within them that you hadn’t been able to place, but that you desperately yearned to explore. Despite not knowing him, there was something about his whole persona - and his cozy outfit - that made you want to cuddle him and talk about life’s big questions.

Only when the water got colder did you realize how long you had been in the shower. Turning off the water, you grabbed the provided hotel towel and stepped out. Eventually, you were finally dressed and ready to go, still with another two hours to spare before your meeting. You were debating whether to take advantage of the free, but limited hotel breakfast or talk to the working receptionist when your stomach cried out, easily making that decision for you. Snatching your phone and keycard off the nightstand, you headed toward the front door, hoping the breakfast they offered was better than their customer service. You were about to open the door when a knock echoed throughout the room.

Opening the door suspiciously, you weren’t sure how to react. A man stood outside, a cart decorated with various dishes in front of him. As he smiled down at you, you caught a whiff of the food hiding underneath the small, silver dome, increasing your hunger instantly. You had a nice job that paid decent money, but never had you bothered paying the extra money for room service at a hotel. The delicious smells that entered your nose made you wish you had, though. You were about to tell him that he more than likely had the wrong room when he said your name, wanting to confirm that the right person would receive the food that had been ordered.

After a minute of interrogating from your side, you were left alone in your room with a cart full of breakfast options as your only guest. You maneuvered it over to the bed, your eyes hungrily scrambling over the food displayed out on the cart. Plopping down on the bed, you reached forward to uncover the food, only coming to halt as something tickled your wrist. Realizing it was a folded piece of paper, your fingers let go of the cloche, reaching for the note instead. For a reason, unbeknownst to you, your heart began thumping louder in your chest as you fumbled with the paper, finally being able to open it.

got you some breakfast so you have the strength to stand up to the hotel bullies. hope your meeting goes well x - shawn

By the time you were finished reading the sweet, short note, there was an undeniable grin playing on your lips. You placed it on the bed, not wanting it to get lost before your hunger took control of your actions. Removing the only obstacle between you and the food, you leaned in closer, your mouth watering at the sight. You assumed he had ordered various dishes because he wasn’t sure what you liked, which made the whole thing even sweeter - if even possible. There were waffles, toast, fruit, quinoa; the options were endless and apparently, so was your hunger.

When you were done indulging in the food, you had less than forty-five minutes until your meeting. Knowing how crazy New York traffic could be, you hurriedly shoved the basic necessities into your purse and grabbed the required papers, before practically leaping through the door. While the hotel might have held back on their service, your job certainly didn’t. When you reached the lobby, there was a man waiting, holding a sign with your last name on it. He led you to the car and held the door open for you as you slid into the passenger seat. Once the basic introductions between you and the driver had been made, you fished your phone out your purse, knowing it would be at least a fifteen-minute car ride.

It happened mindlessly. One minute, you were unlocking your phone and the next you were about to text Shawn to thank him for breakfast. That’s when you realized that you had never gotten his number because you had been too much of a chicken to ask. Sighing, you navigated your way to Instagram instead, merely liking photos and not reading captions. It went on like that for a few minutes, your thoughtless scrolling occasionally interrupted by your driver cursing someone out. It all came to an abrupt halt, however, when you scrolled past a post from your company. It was a photo of Shawn, you recognized him clear as day, and suddenly all the pieces connected in your head.

The Shawn you had met in the lobby was Shawn Mendes. The pieces puzzled themselves as you replayed the night; his hood, hesitating to give you his name, the room service. It made sense now how he had been able to afford it. You remembered how he had told you about not being able to sleep and you assumed he had just gotten back from a show. It was all right there and you felt so incredibly stupid for not noticing. You knew who he was, sure, and you had heard his biggest hits on the radio, but you didn’t know much about him. Still, you’d think you would be able to recognize him, right? Maybe the sleepy haze you had been trapped in was too thick or maybe you had realized but didn’t care.

“Miss?”

You blinked, glancing up from your phone. “Huh? What?”

“We’re here,” the driver informed politely, nodding toward the window.

You nodded. “Right. Uh, thank you. Have a nice day.”

Gathering your things, you thanked him again while exiting the car. Not knowing how long you had been staring at your phone, you moved hastily through the small crowd, almost tripping as you made your way up the stairs. The building was beautiful, but you didn’t have much time to admire the architecture before Viviana from your company flagged you down. The two of you engaged in mindless chit-chat as you made your way to the elevator.

Her ongoing story about her flight to New York became nothing but background noise as Shawn entered your thoughts again. It was ridiculous, really, how you hadn’t realized. As the conversation the two of you had shared replayed in your mind, you recognized the fact that he had seemed grateful you hadn’t. It made sense, you supposed, that a celebrity of his status wanted relationships based on an actual interest in him and not his fame. In your case, it had definitely been an interest in him.

Eventually, you have made yourself comfortable, making sure to find a seat opposite of Viviana. She was nice and you had met her a few times before, but she just didn’t know when to stop talking. Knowing the two of you would more than likely share lunch after the meeting or definitely a ride back to the hotel, you decided you needed a small break. If she was able to talk your ear off just within the walk to the elevator and into the conference room, you had to prepare yourself for lunch. You were flicking through your prepared notes when loud voices entered the room, one of them sounding very familiar.

Immediately, you looked up to inspect the owner of the voice, your papers falling back down on the table as your eyes landed on the six-foot-something singer you had met the night before. As if the universe had planned it, he glanced in your direction simultaneously, his eyes widening with recognition. His pink lips stretched into a smile that you couldn’t help but return as the older man behind him ushered him to sit down. You didn’t know whether to laugh or cry and before you had a chance to do either, the meeting started.

Turns out that the client your company would be working with for the next campaign was Shawn. It made sense now why the coverup name used in the emails was SM. Your company had created the policy of using pseudonyms when exchanging emails in the very unlikely case it would be hacked. It wasn’t a dumb idea, but if often lead you to be somewhat unprepared. This was one of those times. Normally, it wouldn’t be an inconvenience, but you were barely able to concentrate, continuously sneaking glances toward Shawn the entire time. Viviana had to repeat your name twice for you to present your notes and this didn’t go unnoticed by Shawn.

The meeting drew to an end and you exited the room with a majority of the team involved as Shawn and a few others stayed behind to discuss details that were probably above your paygrade. You were itching to talk to him - to at least thank him for breakfast - but a nagging voice at the back of your mind kept saying he wouldn’t want to see you. Though you couldn’t know for sure, there had been a look in his eyes that convinced you the voice was wrong. Viviana disappeared, mumbling something about using the restroom, so you leaned up against the wall while waiting for her.

“Y/N!” you turned around immediately, seeing Shawn almost barrelling down the hallway. He stopped in front of you, the curls on his head bouncing as he did so. His eyes traced your figure quickly. “Well, that’s a fancy wardrobe upgrade.”

“Shut up,” you laughed.

“How did your intervention with the hotel bullies go?”

“Didn’t have time,” you admitted with a shrug. “Too busy getting fat off of room service. Thank you, by the way. You know you didn’t have to do that, right? I’d pay you back, but I’m pretty sure it cost more than my last paycheck.”

He swatted at the air. “Don’t mention it. Barely made a dent in my wallet.”

You paused momentarily at his words, but he didn’t seem to notice. It was weird how quickly you forgot who he was when you were around him. His words were cocky, sure, but you could tell it was nothing more than a joke to him. It wasn’t an attempt at boasting about his fame and fortune. Briefly, you found yourself wondering how many people had tried to take advantage of his selflessness, wanting to personally kick all of their asses.

“Were you ever planning on telling me that you are the Shawn Mendes?” you accused, rolling your eyes at his statement.

He chuckled, a sly smirk dancing across his lips. “Possibly. Be a bit hard without your number, though.”

“Is that your way of— smooth, Mendes, smooth,” you jested, shaking your head as a quiet laugh escaped you.

“So,” he started, his brown orbs widening with curiosity. “Is that a yes?”

“Yeah, yeah,” you muttered teasingly, extending your arm. “Hand it over.”

He immediately placed his phone in your hand and you effortlessly punched your number in, taking note of how big the phone felt in your hand compared to how small it looked in his. A quick flashback of a meme your friend sent you once about large hands popped into your mind and you quickly saved your number under ‘lobby girl’, a small smile appearing on your face as you did. A laugh fell from his lips when you returned the phone and his eyes traced the letters.

“Lobby girl, huh? Clever,” he joked, slipping the phone back into the pocket of his black skinny jeans. “I have a feeling it won’t stay like that for long, though.”

Before you were able to question his little confession, his name was called. The two of you searched for the source of the voice and you found the man that had been in the meeting earlier. You realized that he must have been Shawn’s manager and just as you pieced this together and returned your attention to the young Canadian in front of you, you were met with a solemn look. Your stomach filled with disappointment, knowing that the two of you would have to go your separate ways once again. Despite having a means of contact this time around, it didn’t make it any easier.

“Guess it’s time for you to go back to the rockstar life, huh?”

Shawn nodded slowly. “Guess so.”

You weren’t sure if it was the sudden adrenaline pumping through your body or the fact that you had no idea when you would see him again, but you had him wrapped in a hug before you could process your actions. He hugged you back immediately, his arms snaking around your shoulders so effortlessly that he seemed like a professional. In a sense, you guess he was, hugging fans day in and day out. The man called Shawn’s name again and the two of you reluctantly pulled away from each other, a sheepish smile plastered on your face. He returned it immediately although his appeared more genuine.

“Oh!” he exclaimed, throwing a look over his shoulder as he walked away. “Good luck with the hotel bullies. Talk to you later, Y/N.”

You offered him a meek wave as he disappeared through the door, Viviana appearing on your side out of the blue. She opened her mouth, apparently having seen the encounter, and you shook your head before she was able to ask. You had barely accepted the fact that you had exchanged numbers (and a hug) with Shawn, so you definitely weren’t in the mood to explain it to someone else. Not to mention that this would bring up the run-in in the hotel lobby and for some reason, that was an intimate memory you wanted to keep to yourself.

The two of you silently - well, the silence was mostly from your side - made your way back down to the main entrance. The same car and driver were waiting outside when you entered the busy New York street. You let Viviana climb in first before quickly following, slumping back into the backseat of the Audi. Just as you buckled and the car pulled away from the curb, your phone buzzed against your leg from within your purse. It took a few seconds of intense rummaging before you were able to fish it out, just in time for another text to come through.

i have my last show in ny tonight. would you maybe wanna go? i can get you front row tickets