#nerdwiki

Robby had always been a good friend to you. You had pulled him up off the ground more times than you could count and he had always done the same for you. But this was new and uncharted.

Dana and her husband were throwing a Fourth of July party at their house which was how you ended up sitting at the edge of a pool, legs dangling in the water as you nursed a beer. It happened often lately that your world tended to warp and narrow until you could only see him and that was definitely the case today as you watched him swim by you.

Although he hadn't said it, you knew he was self conscious of his body. Trying to distract you when you reached for the light switch after he'd taken off his shirt. Redirecting your hands when they lingered too long on the soft flesh of his middle. But today, he didn't seem to think about it much at all as he swam shirtless in the pool, smiling and joking with colleagues.

It took him a while before he noticed you, but once he had, he excused himself from the conversation and swam for you. He settled between your legs, rested his hands gently on your ankles.

"Come swim with me?" He asked sweetly, playful grin on his face.

The stares and giggles from your colleagues weren't lost on you as his fingers ghosted over your skin beneath the water.

"You're standing too close," You said softly and took a sip from your beer.

He largely ignored your words, kept his hands wrapped around your ankles, "It's hot, get in the water."

"Michael." You said sharply, something you only called him when you were chastising him.

But still, it did not deter him. He plucked your beer from your hand before gripping your hips and lifting you up and into the pool.

"People are staring," You said as calmly as you could, hands on his shoulders. Despite the scrutiny, you couldn't bear to pull away from him.

"We're friends," He said, but his eyes traveled down to your chest and lingered more than was appropriate, "Everyone knows we're friends."

"Right," You said, "And you'll be driving me home tonight?"

"Of course," He said, smirking, "What are friends for?"

That night, after Robby had made you come so hard there were tears in your eyes, you laid on his chest in the dark, his fingers lightly massaging your scalp.

The high from your orgasm combined with being tipsy off beer from earlier had you feeling brave, "Will you stay the night?"

He hummed, "'Course."

"And not leave before I wake up?"

He was quiet for a few moments, "You want me to stay? In the morning?"

"If… If you wanted."

You felt him pull away slightly from you and felt momentarily rejected until the light turned on. He'd pulled away from you to fumble with the lamp on your bedside table.

With the light illuminating the room you could see the fear in his eyes and in turn, you were frightened.

"You know that I… Greatly value our friendship," He said slowly and you felt the heat climb up your neck.

Humiliated, you stopped him, "Forget it," You rolled out of the bed and headed for the shower, "I think you should go, actually."

"Oh, come on," He pleaded, following after you, "Don't do that."

You reached behind the shower curtain to start the water, "No, you're right—"

"Right about what?" He snapped, "You didn't let me finish my thought."

You rolled your eyes, "Oh, so you weren't about to clarify that we're just friends and it should stay that way, that staying until the morning, having coffee and breakfast together is too intimate for your liking?"

He scoffed and shook his head, "Do you disagree?"

Oh, it stung. Granted, you understood. You didn't want to lose him either, didn't want to be just another woman he got tired of, that he decided wasn't worth his effort. It was better to keep each other at a respectable distance.

"No," You said, swallowing thickly, "Which is why I think we should stop doing this."

He mouth opened in a silent O, brow furrowed for a moment as he processed what you said, "You mean…" He said slowly, "Completely?"

"Yes," You said without looking at him as you climbed into the shower, "The boundaries are getting too blurry, it's probably for the best to just… cut it off."

You pulled the curtain shut and hoped he'd simply leave, but he pulled the curtain aside, "Is that what you want?"

You sighed, "Robby—"

"I'm just confused we were having a good night and because I said I don't want be around in the morning, now we can't do any of it?"

He seemed almost panicked as he spoke and you frowned, "Why are you getting so worked up?"

"I'm not," He huffed, "I just—I—I really like spending time with you like this, I just—"

"You just what?" You threw up your hands, exasperated, "Don't like it enough to look at me in the light of the morning? I mean, Christ, Robby how do you think that makes me feel?"

He sighed, "That's not how I meant it."

"How else could I have possibly taken it?" You pulled the shower curtain closed again, "Please, just, go home, Robby."

He stood there for a few more moments before you heard him walk away. A few minutes later you heard the sound of your front door opening and closing and exhaled heavily.

Tried again and again as you finished your shower and got ready for bed to convince yourself you'd done the right thing.

You didn't want to lose him as a friend.

So why did it feel like you'd lost him anyway?

The next few days at work were painfully stilted. Robby reaching for casual touches only to pull back at the last minute. No playful banter during quiet moments, but a man who refused to be in the same space as you.

"What's up with you and Robby?" Jack asked, barely looking up from his computer until he felt your blistering stare on his back.

"What?" He said, finally straightening, "The two of you were awful cozy on the Fourth. You didn't think anyone'd notice?"

You locked your jaw and turned away from him, watched Robby longingly across the way instead as he pulled on a pair of gloves and spoke to a patient.

"Do you think he's capable of a healthy relationship?" You blurted out before you could stop yourself.

You were too afraid to look at him, but the silence was enough to suggest you'd surprised him.

There was a slow exhale at your side, "I don't know. Maybe. If it was the right person."

Your eyes burned and you tore them away from him, turning to the computer to resume charting. Obviously, you weren't the right person or he would've stayed until morning.

"Hey," Jack said, leaning over your monitor. He waited patiently for you to meet his eyes, "For what it's worth, if I were to hedge my bets on who could make an honest man out of Michael Robinavitch, it would be you."

You shook your head dismissively, "Do you make it a habit to bet on losing dogs?"

He chuckled and squeezed your shoulder as he passed, "Chin up, kid. He'll come around."

It went like this for weeks and still, he could barely look you in the eyes.

Until finally, he followed after you as you began walking home from work.

"Is this how it's gonna be from now on?"

You looked at him frowning, "What are you talking about? You've been the one avoiding me."

He scoffed, "I thought that was what you wanted."

You huffed in frustration, "What I wanted was for you to stay in the morning."

Abruptly, he stepped in front of you, blocking your path so that you barrelled straight into his chest.

"Why does this feel like a breakup?" He asked, his voice small and breathless as if he were afraid of the answer.

You looked up into his face for the first time in weeks and you simmered under the heat of his gaze.

You shook your head, "I don't know." Consciously or unconsciously, you tilted your face towards his. He was close enough that you could smell the nicotine gum on his breath.

He exhaled slowly, eyes darting rapidly from your mouth to your eyes and back again.

"Say we're still just friends," He murmured, "Lie to me."

Your heart hammered in your chest. Be brave it seemed to say, ricochetting rapidly against your ribs.

"I don't wanna lie anymore." You said softly, barely a whisper.

He stared at your face for a few moments before bringing his hands up to cradle your face. Your eyelids fluttered closed at his gentle touch, the callouses of his fingers soft on your cheeks.

"Neither do I," He said against your lips before kissing you, his cadence fevered and frenzied.

You groaned, partially in surprise and partially in pleasure as he licked into your mouth, your hands knotting themselves in his scrub top.

After what felt like ages, but was actually probably moments, he pulled away, both of you breathless.

"Can I… Take you home?" He asked.

"Will you stay in the morning?"

He nodded eagerly, "Think I might wanna stay forever, if you'll let me."