#neohub

disclaimer: this is purely fictional; in no way am I condoning this behavior, trying to offend anyone, nor is it meant to place such image on the idol, these are only characters. read at your own discretion.

an: it's been a year since I last updated the happy together series, I guess I lied when I said the stupid girl incident wouldn't happen with this one but hey it's finally over! this is an epilogue for happy together but can be read as it’s own part. yn’s character here isn’t the same as happy together, this is a completely different yn!! fun fact I came up with this before happy together lol

‘No one wants to think about it. About how your love may run out or hang by a thread because it’s that big, not able to be supported by one person alone. To even have the fleeting negative thought race in your mind. No one wants that.’ — April 25, 2004.

Life was sweet, it was a new romance never felt before (at least in your case). The type to make your heart swell at any sweet action. He was tender, sweet, and attentive. Whatever you asked of him, he’d have for you, ready and in your hands. Mark used to go out of his way for you but slowly the small things became a burden and any little task, he never wanted to do anymore.

Even so, now as you sit on your knees in between his legs, hearing his grunts from the pleasure he is enduring, you put off your own pleasure for his as long as the satisfaction of him feeling loved continues.

With his cock stuffed deep in your mouth, tip hitting the back of your throat. Mark held onto the messy comforter while you kept going. Your nose hitting his pubic bone, staying still for seconds just so he could feel the warmth of your throat around him.

At that feeling Mark allowed a disgruntled moan, loud and perfect. His hips buckle forward, causing you to gag. Tearing up and finger nails softly claw his thighs. That’s the most damage you allowed yourself to cause him. His hand wraps around your hair, the sting of his pulling mirroring the one of your clawing, he was relentless unlike you.

“You’re so good to me. You feel so good, fuck!” He groans, eyes tightly shut. “I love when you gag around me, it feels so good. As if your throat still hasn’t gotten used to me after all these years, pretty girl.”

Raking your nails on the lower back of his thighs, he hisses. With his hands holding onto your head, his thrusts get harder— almost as a counter attack.

The hand you had on his thigh comes in contact with his balls, pinching them where he likes. Playing with and twirling them. Mark’s thrusts become slow but harder, hitting the back of your throat more painful, nothing you wouldn’t take unwillingly, though. He knows you can and will take anything he gives you.

That’s how you knew he was extremely close. When his thrusts were rough and slow, the grip on your hair became tighter when he pushed you further down, becoming extra sensitive to the way you handle his testicles. 

“Ah~ y/n… Please, just a bit more. Ahh…” He pants, stopping his thrusting momentarily until you pinch his scrotum, to which he whimpers loudly. Some sweat had accumulated on his neck and forehead. Glistening, he looked so beautiful, much more than he already is. Mark’s eyes were closed but he could feel your lingering gaze on him. He could feel the penetrating stare that looked at him with adoration.

When he couldn’t handle it furthermore and his thrusts against your throat were becoming sloppy, Mark’s eyes fluttered open, looking down at you, giving you one of his most tender smiles. You never got used to the way he looked at you. Even when he gave you his coldest glares, there was always a sense of adoration to them. 

So one can only imagine the warmth and giddiness you felt when he looked at you this lovingly. Lovingly enough that he removed one hand from your head and placed it on your cheek. Thumb caressing your flesh, soft strokes contradicting the ones abusing your throat.

“What I wouldn’t do to be like this with you forever.” The words contradictory and cheeky to his caring caress, almost conniving. 

Mark’s hips jolted forward, disgruntled moans left his lips but his eyes never left yours. Even after he screwed them shut momentarily from pleasure, he’d always open them to let you know how good he felt. Head thrown back, trying to regain his breath and calmness after the orgasm you had just given him. His hand strokes your head softly whilst you gaze up at him lovingly, your head resting on his thigh. 

“Morning,” your voice snaps him out of it, looking down at you with a smile. “Really good morning.” He chuckles in a breath, leaning down as much to give you a soft and tender kiss, tasting himself on you. Pulling apart, Mark stands up, helping you up from the aching position you were in. Rubbing your knees momentarily to soothe the pang. 

It didn’t take long enough to forget his care and make his path to the kitchen, you trailing behind like a lost puppy, ignoring your ache just to start the day for both of you. “Hey, can you do me a favor?” Your soft voice squeaked against his ear, making him turn to you slowly. A gleam of hope on your part as always.

“What is it?” You could see his emotions coursing through, already looking for excuses as always. “Just— can you pick up an order at Cafe 7 Dream? It’s for Venetia’s pregnancy leave party but I don’t have time to pick it up. Please? During your lunch break?”

Your eyes still glimmer with hope knowing well what his answer already is. “Oh… baby, you already know I can’t. I don’t even know where it is.” He ran a hand through his hair, walking past you after giving his famous apologetic pout. 

Back to him, hopeful smile faltering, slowly closing your eyes disappointed but not surprised knowing the predicted outcome. You sigh quietly, basking in the background noise he made. Opening and closing the fridge door and pans moving around the stove top as if he truly had intentions to do something.

“I guess, yeah… it’s fine I’ll figure it out then.” Defeatedly, you make your way to him, watching him play with the knobs as if he didn’t know how a damn stove works, you only interfered when he opened the egg crate. Rushing to him you took it all off his hands, his faux complaining making you roll your eyes, him oblivious to how it wasn’t playful anymore. “Go shower, you’ll be late.” Still, your voice held no annoyance. 

He chuckles, completely oblivious to your feelings as always. “Or we could shower together…” he suggests, not over the morning rendezvous. Wanting more and more, never satiated.  

You didn’t have it in you to smile at him, shaking your head and dismissing him as you crack the eggs over the pan. He giggles, towards the bathroom, placing a playful slap to your ass on his way.

The walls were thin. You could hear the sound of the toilet flushing, the water running, and your thoughts bouncing off of them. Torturing you with the words and feelings you try to repress all the time in order to live in peace and in love with him.

You loved him. More than anything, to the point it was extremely painful despite him being yours. You’ve fought hard trying to make your love for him unconditional, there was no backing out anytime.

Moments like these in which he shut down your pleas, all you could do was restrain yourself from the ill thoughts your tired brain tried to throw at him. You couldn’t let anything get in between the both of you, not even yourself. 

So instead you rather stand in front of the stove, moving the spatula around to make him his beloved sunny side up eggs. Funny enough, you hated them but if he wanted you to love them, you would.

Coming out of the bathroom, steam painting the mirrors and windows. Mark dries his hair with the towel sitting atop his shoulders, a sniffle leaves him, pulling the chair from the dining table, smiling at you with a ‘thank you’ rolling off his tongue while you set down his dishes and drink right in front of him. 

“You’re not eating?” He questions the moment you sat beside him with just a pouch of Konjac Jelly. You could only smile and shake your head, suckling on the nozzle to get out the contents. You weren’t eating then and there, you just didn’t want to tell him you were getting breakfast with your colleague on your way to work. 

Mark nodded before digging in on the yolk with his spoon, that expected smile on his face.

He talked and talked after every bite and chew. Mark was well aware of how much you liked to hear his voice, especially in the morning before he left you for work. Head resting on your palm as you watched him stack his plates, a smile plastered on your lips from his presence alone. 

“Want me to drop you off? You’re gonna have to hurry though.” The clanking of the bowls on the sink as he passed water over them knowing you’d wash them eventually; making his way to the bathroom to brush his teeth and finish getting dressed. 

Shaking your head as a response, he waits for your explanation. “I’m walking the entire week, don’t worry about me. Maybe I'll take the bus.”

How couldn’t he when both of your jobs were a tad bit far from home. It didn’t help that most of the time you got out late. At least he was thankful Jungwoo could drop you off whenever he wasn’t able to pick you up or simply didn’t feel like it.

“You know I don’t like it when you ride the bus, it’s always filled with… men at these hours. Take care, okay? Call me once you arrive or if something happens.”

Despite your smile of approval, what was he going to do when he can barely take care of himself?

Mark’s lips fell against yours the moment he opened the door to the apartment, towering over you for a few kisses before pulling away. “By the way, can you pick up my suit from the cleaners either later or tomorrow? I have a meeting at the end of the week.”

He was giddy asking you for a favor, clutching his backpack, ignoring the way you tried to not let your emotions show through your face. “Yeah… I’ll do it after work.” Your soft voice, trying its best to hide that tinge of bubbling vexation.

Mark smiled, a giggle leaving his throat whilst his hand caresses your cheek. “I’ll see you at night, baby.” You couldn’t answer, he had bolted towards the elevator. Only the daily bittersweet taste lingers once again.

Shutting the door behind you, your eyes immediately travel to the pile of dishes he left for you on the sink, not even allowing your sighs to escape by how familiar this scene has become. It was rather frustrating for Mark to not notice your obvious signs of unhappiness with him. He knew you loved him, perhaps more than he loved you, which he tends to ignore to not throw himself off.

But that love he thinks you have was blinding him from all the realities of how dysfunctional the relationship was. It was pitiful that his friends were the only ones to actually notice them.

“Markie, morning!” Johnny’s cheerful voice booms against his ear, hand softly patting the younger man’s shoulder as he signals to follow him and Jaehyun to the break room while handing him a cup of coffee. 

Mark returned the greeting to both of the men standing in front of him, conversing as if he didn’t see them almost daily. From joke after joke, Jaehyun’s phone beeped constantly, the other two ignoring it as he checked it with a giddy smile plastered on his face; Johnny asks if they’d like to get lunch during their break.

Mark immediately agreed to the offer, taking some of the last sips from his coffee. They spoke about restaurant options but upon Jaehyun not answering, rather typing, the blackberry keys louder than his coworkers, the two turned to ask again.

“Jaehyun, you’re down for lunch?” Johnny questions, making his way towards the trash can, depositing away his cup, the eyes on the ‘7’ icon turning to Mark. Jaehyun hums in response, putting his phone away before actually speaking. “Uh, maybe next time. I have something to do.” An apologetic smile, Johnny understanding but Mark lets out a teasing chuckle. 

“Lunch with a special friend?” 

“Actually, I’m helping your wife.”

He didn’t want to make it obvious but Jaehyun put enough emphasis on ‘your’. “She asked for a favor and I always say yes, so...” Jaehyun shrugs, sipping the last of his own coffee.

The air was shifting to hostility the more Mark’s expression began to change, slowly but surely. His eyes followed every move Jaehyun made, ignoring how all the 7’s glared at him, even his own. Johnny was no fool, if Jaehyun couldn’t feel the building hostility, Johnny was clearly feeling and seeing it. His eyes advert from both men as he watched how quickly a mood can be annihilated.

“Always? What do you mean, always?” Mark turns his back to the other two —almost to shield himself from the accusatory numbers—, throwing away his not empty cup and going to the sink to wash off the stickiness from the coffee that spilled on the sides.

The second oldest man mustered a shrug, taking a cup from the water cooler and pouring some in to get rid of that coffee taste on his tongue. Bitter coffee taste, the one lacing Mark. “I mean, I can’t say no to her… if she’s busy and can’t run an errand she asks me to run it for her and in return she bakes me a cheesecake. We all win!” Johnny smiles at Jaehyun at the mention of the desert and his unconvincing naivety.

Mark didn’t speak, his mouth forming an ‘O’ at the realization that the reason you always baked was not for you or your coworkers but for his friend. For doing something you had originally asked of him. Just in the past month you had baked six cheesecakes and all of them after you asked him for a favor that he turned down. All this time he thought you were just baking for pleasure but now he knows Jaehyun helps ease your stress. Jaehyun, not Mark.

“I’m gonna head back…” Johnny’s voice broke him out of his train of thought, the elder’s eyes adverting from his two younger friends before opening the door. Jaehyun announces that he’ll follow behind, leaving Mark to his own thoughts for just a second.

One could call that the start of his demise. If anything Mark would’ve been better off knowing you did everything on your own but now he felt an unjust slight resentment that you ran to one of his friends. Guilt, if you will, for his own faults.

He didn’t let the thought go the entire day and it didn’t become better once you had arrived back home with groceries and his suit in hand. Worse off, he saw you struggle with the heavy items but he made no effort to help, rather analyzed the components in your hands. Contrary to you, upon seeing him, a warm smile spreads on your face. Putting everything down and going up to him to envelope him in an embrace and a tender kiss.

“Hi…” your breathy voice showing obvious signs of agitation. 

“Hey… why are you so late?” He questions, accusatory for something he’s not sure what he’s looking for yet; a minute frown as he looks through the contents of your grocery totes. Cream cheese, graham cracker, sweet condensed milk… a pit in his stomach formed, a growing feeling of confusion followed.

“Another cheesecake?” He questions, taking out the items and starting to put them away. To say you were taken aback was an understatement, your chest swole and you felt some relief seeing he was actually helping. You nod, holding onto the back of a chair to catch yourself. Mark hums, turning to look at you. Upon seeing how sunken and dull you were looking, his expression turned to one of concern.

“Have you eaten?” Mark asks, his hand reaching to caress your cheek. “Yeah! We had a dinner party for Venetia’s leave.” ‘I told you about it..’ you want to add. No matter, you knew it was futile with how he hums in response. It was true about the dinner part but you hadn’t eaten there, Jungwoo and you had decided to blow it off and go to a soup bowl restaurant instead.

He hums again, putting away all the other groceries and leaving just the cheesecake items. “Seventh cheesecake this month isn’t it?” 

His piqued interest sounded hostile and cold, eradicating any sense of relief that he cared. “Yeah, why not?” Responding with a smile and knitted eyebrows, Mark didn’t add more. In turn, he took his items from the living room to the bedroom, opting to continue working there. 

Looking at the empty spot he left, a sigh left your lips before continuing to fulfill your part of the deal with Jaehyun. You didn’t know if the sigh was from relief or grief. Regardless, his care was too good to be true. 

The next morning he had woken to your spot on the bed empty and cold, a building resentment and loneliness starts to grow when times before he didn’t feel them. Odd. 

Giving himself a few minutes of rest time until he decided to get up and do his daily routine. By the time he had reached the table, his breakfast was covered to keep the warmth in, glowering when he noticed it was slightly warm but getting cold. A note on the side of his dishes. 

‘Decided to head early. Sorry in advance if the food gets cold. Love, y/n’

A small heart next to your name, Mark smiles to himself. As he ate his breakfast, his concerns and the slight jealousy he had gained overnight dissipated. He felt foolish for questioning your relationship with Jaehyun. What was there for him to be jealous of? Hell, Jaehyun was taking care of the burdens he didn’t want to, that’s a win-win situation, no? Jaehyun gets his treat, you remain content, and he isn’t bothered. Yeah, he can now think clearly and see that’s fair. Nothing ever comes out of your close friend being nice and considerate of your wife, right? 

Hmm…

Nevertheless, Mark shakes his head with a goofy content smile whilst he drops his dishes in the sink, passing cold water over them. You picked up his suit yesterday and today it was hanging, freshly steamed furthermore. His shoes clean and shiny by the door, food you cooked for him in his system, and overall a lovely note you wrote him. Mark knows you love him and only him, what a stupid little preoccupation yesterday was.

“Dumbass.” He chuckles to himself, squeezing a plushie he had gotten you that ever since, you left on the bed, your smell on it; you’d always be near him and oh how he loved that security. Surely he has to let you know how he adores your love.

Walking towards your desk to look for whatever piece of paper, he sat on your chair, opening the drawers and searching for at least a sticky note.

Upon finding the nearest notebook, Mark pulled it out along a pen. Opening it to where he could find a clean page; he stumbled on multiple pages of frantic writing and numbers written all over. Sometimes they went down and sometimes they went up, if the number was higher than last, a large ‘x’ crossed it in red. He didn’t think much of it, maybe something to do with work statistics?

Curiosity still got the best of him, he’s never seen you write messily. Everything you’ve written has been tidy and neat, so this was interesting. Flipping through the pages, he found two lists. They read the same thing but the one on the left had more x’s whilst the one on the right had check marks, sometimes nothing.

Pick up cleaners,

fix the leak in the kitchen

pick up order from cafe 7 dream

find a new car inspection place

pick up Venetia’s leave cake

Those were all things you had asked him to do and things he had told you he couldn’t do on account of all the excuses he made. All striked through, ink bolder and fresher the more recent the task was. All those crosses were for him and he figured all the check marks were for Jaehyun.

Some of the stuff seemed too intimate for Jaehyun to do for you. Picking up the cleaners? Fix the leak? Find a car inspector?

Jaehyun had no responsibility to find any of this stuff for you but there he was doing what Mark couldn’t and that jealousy he felt yesterday was back again. That meant you hadn’t picked up his suit yesterday, right? It was Jaehyun who had done so and his grubby hands must’ve left oils for you to steam it again?

God, no… he was being irrational again!

The more he flipped through the pages, Mark read the small and longer paragraphs. Most of them written frantically and showed obvious frustration. It seemed to be completely full of vent paragraphs. You wrote down your desperations and thoughts, often seeming angry and saddened. He cared for all that but they became unreadable the more upset you became as you went on. 

Few things that made his head pound and chest start to rip apart were how many times he read two names over and over: ‘Jungwoo’ and ‘Jaehyun’. You met them through him, he had brought them into your life but now he was finding that to be a mistake. 

Ironic, isn’t it? You spoke so well of them. Every paragraph regarding them was neatly written and cohesive. For the most part you were just thanking them for making your life easier.

‘Keep forgetting to look for new posts, Jungwoo has been helping but he seems kinda down when he does.’

‘Dinner coordinator keeps bringing the same catering and it’s growing tiring, seaweed treats are hell. Thank god Jungwoo took me out instead. — 03.29.08, 22:37.’

Last night’s date. You had told him you ate at the company dinner but instead went out with his friend and didn’t think to tell him, opting to lie about it. He knew you loved him but now he was questioning if the amount was just as big as he thought.

‘Wonder if Jaehyun is getting tired of these favors and cheesecakes. I don’t think he even finishes an entire one in a month and I’ve baked seven for him, I fear for his fridge. It’s not as big as I thought now that he moved. Nevertheless, thank god I can count on him to actually do these favors for me.’ 

The last part stung horribly. It didn’t seem to be a jab on him from how you wrote it but he took it as such given he always did something wrong when you asked him to just so you would stop or he’d make excuses for the same reason. He now took issue with you preferring Jaehyun’s and Jungwoo’s help over his. 

He also hadn’t told you Jaehyun moved apartments so there was no reason for you to know how big his fridge was. It stung more that neither of his friends told him about the close friendship they held with you, his wife. 

The last note on the paper is what caught his attention; ‘Lunch with Jungwoo at Cafe 7 Dream, 12:30 today.’

It’s only 08:35 in the morning as of right now; he got dressed and put away all your stuff trying his best to make it seem like he didn’t rummage through. As he buttoned up his shirt all he could think about was going to said cafe and seeing what it was all about. A part of him told him to stop being stupid, you and Jungwoo were friends too given the company you two work in, so a lunch shouldn’t be bad. But he couldn’t shake off this uncertainty.

His day went monotonously. From the moment he made his way out of the apartment, to his daily drive through the freeway with a clear view of a big ‘7,' not drinking his daily coffee with his colleagues, to now being back in the car, looking at that same ‘7’ he sees daily while he roams for a parking spot.

Whatever was playing on the radio was static and the air around him stuffy, not even the rolled down windows being able to aid him. It was around 12:53 in the afternoon when he had arrived and parked a few spots away from the vast window of the cafe. Bringing down the sun visor, fingers strumming on the steering wheel, and his lips pursed, eyes roaming the area— Mark had spotted you and his friend in the outdoor section. 

His initial jealousy wasn’t present right now, he was mostly focused on the image that had never been presented to him: you were visibly upset. Throughout your six years of being together, you always remained calm and even when he spewed vile things towards you during one-sided arguments you never cracked.

Maybe that’s why you’ve lasted this long. He could say whatever he pleased and kept off his chest while you never gave him a negative reaction. For the most part whenever you didn’t respond in the arguments he’d angrily walk out of the situation to go meet with his friends while he left you to scribble your feelings onto the journal he stumbled upon just today.

Your arms flailed, hands forming into claws that whenever you were spewing something that angered you, clung to your flesh, leaving dents on it— must have been that intense if he could see those forming. Your hair was disheveled but your clothes intact besides the pantyhose you were clawing at earlier. You didn’t look dull anymore but you did look on the brink of angry tears.

In contrast to you, Jungwoo leaned back on his metal chair, hair kept well combed, suit intact and ironed, with a shit eating grin on his face as he nodded with everything you said. His words were slow, helping Mark in reading his lips and only being able to read just that sentence: “Let it all out, you don’t deserve this.” Every time he said those words, you’d slump over the table, head resting on your hands and nodding to yourself.

The perplexed expression on Mark’s face never left. His eyebrows furrowed and lips pursed, leaning in against his wheel as if any of that would help him listen to the conversation. It worsened when Jungwoo took a small box from his pocket, handing it to you in which you’d give him an apologetic smile for ranting to him while also being thankful.

He didn't understand where all this came from. You have always been so calm, never letting things affect you let alone smoke. Hell, you're the reason he stopped smoking but here you were doing what he used to do with his friend.

At this moment he didn’t understand why he had rushedly gotten out of his car and inside the building. All the courage he mustered to go inside dying whenever he saw the both of you stand up from the table after paying.

His heart was palpitating in horror. He couldn’t excuse why he was there this time, he told you he didn’t know where this place was so it would only worsen your already horrible mood. Not to mention, he had nothing to say. How would he start the conversation? “I know I’ve lied to you about this place but what the fuck is your deal with Jungwoo and Jaehyun? What’s your journal all about?” No, he can’t let you know he’s been snooping, let alone have you think he’s jealous.

Mark could only follow behind a group of people walking to the counter, hiding amongst them and hoping you stayed enthralled in your conversation to not notice him. At least he was thankful he could finally hear the conversation but that dissipated the moment he heard Jungwoo’s voice.

“If you keep pushing away and shutting off your frustrations with him this won’t end well. You can’t just conform to keep him with you and let him do all he’s doing. You can’t let him act the way he does and hope he changes without asking. You know what my grandma would say? If you don’t speak, God won’t hear you. And he’s not hearing you. Are you not miserable in the relationship?”

It stung. It painfully stung deeply in his heart that he truly felt he was having a heart attack right now, cardiac arrest— whichever. It sounded oddly familiar.

“Mark says, 'If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans.’ So which is it?” Jungwoo laughs, shrugging. “Seems God can’t make up his mind or he's fucking with us just because he can.”

Sadly for the both of you this was only the start of your demise. As for the following weeks, Mark had begun to dig deeper into this madness he was slowly learning he had created. Every time he was home alone, Mark began to read the notebook he had found. Your writing didn’t become any less incomprehensible but he was starting to learn what certain loops meant.

He wouldn’t say your writings were enjoyable, rather more concerning than anything but this is the closest he’ll get to truly knowing you. It still baffles him that after six years of being together, you were capable of hiding this much from him. The only time he could recall you actually being mad was the time both of you crossed paths with one of his childhood friends.

The atmosphere turned hostile and tense as the older male reprimanded him for not inviting them to his wedding to which Mark said he did, he even gave his mother the invitation directly to give to them. The look the two shared had made your insides churn, in that instance you wanted to cut your own chest to relieve that sting within.

You could handle a lingering look and his friends' questioning remarks whenever speaking to you, but what killed you was that it took him a week to regain his dignity after he bid him goodbye with a kiss to his cheek. The words: “They long to see you.” Cascading from his lips, but Mark smiles tenderly and awkwardly.

Mark only recalls you giving him blank stares and taking a while to answer him, conversations non-existent unless he started them. But Jungwoo got to see you tear your desk down, shred paper after paper, and cry in agony at the same time that entire week, knowing well what the older man had meant, you weren’t stupid after all, he’s not the only one who’s read someone’s secret stash of letters. 

That’s the only time he thinks you’ve been mad at him or resentful enough. If only he knew how many fits Jungwoo has experienced and cleaned. But while you might not be foreign to an empty bed, Mark was. When he felt your side of the bed still neatly made and the duvet cold, a sense of fear made him shoot up. 

He had gotten home before you that day once again, trusting that Jungwoo was giving you a ride not long after he arrived like always. After a few hours of working on some data and analysis to the point of not being able to eat the dinner you had woken up early to cook for him. Mark had decided to rest for a while not thinking of taking a nap until his eyelids feel heavy and his slumber commenced.

That was around 6:43pm, now it’s midnight with no signs of you in the bedroom and if he knew anything from those six months of living with a married couple— one of the spouses was up to something.

That’s where his fear rose and his chest started to constrain his breathing. You would never do anything to hurt him, right? Mark knew you loved him. Yes, you love him, you’d never do anything of the style. You're not her.

You're not her...

Opening the bedroom door with such force; he startled you, jumping once the doorknob slammed against the wall. His fears dissipated the instance his eyes laid on your sitting figure. Crouched over your desk with a pen on hand and arm covering the pages of that same notebook. While he was relieved to see you, now he was worried of what else you could add to wreck his nerves.

“When did you get home?” His raspy voice questions. You shrug, taking his presence, closing the notebook and shoving it into one of your desk drawers. 

“Maybe an hour ago? Jungwoo got quite drunk so Jaehyun took a while to pick us up.” 

Mark knew what jealousy felt like, he’s experienced it in the most hateful way and over all these years he trusted you enough to never feel this strongly ever again but his friends were starting to test his patience. It may be subconscious and a self inflicted fear but Mark knows what friends can do. 

“You didn’t say you were going out with Jungwoo.” That pitch of irritation laced his tongue, every word getting louder the more he shook his slumber away. His eyebrows furrowed unconsciously. He really didn’t want to have any reaction but he can’t reap what he sows.

Mark always started like this when an argument would ensue. You could handle his vile words and reproaches but you had a presentation tomorrow and the last thing you needed was for him to treat you like shit at midnight. You’ve had enough of your supervisor for that. 

“Company dinner meeting, Mark… I told you about the presentations.” Your voice was betraying you with how whiny it came out. But could anyone blame you? You had been ecstatically talking about this for almost a month, even Johnny knew about it. It just seems the man you married couldn’t be bothered enough to remember. 

Mark tried his hardest to pick at his brain and recollect the memories of you telling him. It was of no help that you hadn’t written about it in your journal either. All he had left was to deflect. 

“You could’ve called me to pick you up, though? Why did you have to call Jaehyun?” 

“Would you have gone? You've been sound asleep the while I've been here.”

Your tone took him aback, this was the first time he could hear some attitude and mocking in your voice. He didn’t know whether to be happy that for once you spoke to him like this or angry that the mention of Jaehyun was eliciting this response, almost as if you’re defending him.

Noticing the look of confusion on his face, you retracted any possibility of continuing this ensuing argument. Just like him, you’ll avoid any further action.

“Go back to bed, love. I’ll be there in a bit.”

He didn’t listen, just sunk his feet deeper into the tile, processing the whiplash of your actions. On the contrary, you walked past him to the bathroom, forgetting to turn off the stereo system, hoping your nightly ritual would help you not think about these happenings. Him? He’ll sulk like he is not at fault.

‘Oh, I think you’re holding the heart of mine. Squeeze it apart, that's fine…’ The melody mocks and lulls him goodnight. 

A similar situation happened days later. The days building up to that night, you hadn’t asked him for any favors. Times before he’d be glad but now he grew weary. The only outlier was that you weren’t baking, so had the rewards gone further than sweet treats? How far could you go?

No! Stop! Mark knows you’d never do anything like that, you’re not her, that’s a huge reason he fell for and married you. You ar– were perfect.

But then, why haven’t you asked anything of him yet? Was it truly futile now?

Deja vu hit, the bed was cold beside his own spot, your plushie thrown to the floor (the only difference), no sign of you, but the second he swung the door open, there you were. Sitting mindlessly on your desk, scribbling things he couldn’t see but knew he would struggle to understand later. He approached slowly, the only light source the lamp before you.

“What are you doing?” His voice is curious and soft in comparison to last time. You shrug like before, scribbling. “Nothing.” Precise yet somehow cold. No matter how much closer he got, by only a step, you shut the journal, throwing it in your drawer and turning the lamp off. He didn’t know how to take it, your actions swift and nonchalant but regardless you still made the effort to kiss him goodnight on the way to complete your night routine. 

01:48 read the stereo system. Mark hums, this night’s song mocking him again while his eyes look into the darkness and curves of your desk, directly at the drawer that held all your grievances. He contemplates it but it’s no use tonight.

‘I love him so much, it just turns to hate. I fake it so real, I am beyond fake. And someday you will ache like I ache.’ He chuckles, turning it off.

The next day was enough. You had left before him again, no reason as to why either but later he had learnt that Jaehyun had gotten into the office late with a Cafe 7 Dream drink in hand and not bought by Johnny.

He had taken your absence as an opportunity, looking at the positioning of things in your desk carefully to remember how he’d put everything back. Slowly but surely, he took the journal out, opening it to the new pages.

With the journal in hand, he steps into the kitchen, sitting on the dining table where his warm food rested. Warm enough to let him know you left not long ago. Effortlessly, he uncovers it, sliding the plates towards him and standing up to get a drink. The ice-cold water pitcher sat in front of him and he began his tasks.

‘Guilt floods me every time I ask Jaehyun and Jungwoo for favors. Is this excessive? Poor Jaehyun looks so tired, I think I have to ease it. He may claim it’s fine but how much cheesecake or danishes can someone eat without feeling the weight of burden grow as fat around his muscles?’ “What a way with words,” Mark scoffs to himself, accidentally biting the inside of his cheek, his teeth scolding him.

‘Jungwoo on the other hand is probably exhausted from my complaining. I see this as my karma for all the times I told friends to leave their bummy boyfriends. I get it now. This feeling is too strong. I can't just end it, I think… Regardless, I do need to stop with the favors, hell they’re easy so I can do them but it’s nice to not hear them complain or make excuses instantly. That’s selfish of me but I deserve some self indulgence from time to time. No… not at their expense at least...‘

00:59 at the time you began writing that.

He didn’t like that. He’s read enough for the past few weeks but nothing like this. The bummy part even less.

He won’t deny that he wished your food got stuck in his throat and suffocated him so he can drop dead with your journal in hand and true guilt arises in you when you find his body but that’s not him, that’s his jealousy and anger speaking. Maybe he was getting influenced by your entries, this is something you would say just not to him.

Mark scoffs again, sighing heavily, and pushing his chair to get out. He leaves the food uncovered and dishes dirty to complete his morning routine. Despite his anger he puts back your journal not counting on the wet back from the water pitcher but flaws are meant to happen when you’re letting frustration blind you. 

The day went in a blur from then until lunch. Snapped out of his trance by Johnny shaking his shoulder and their manager next to the taller man, Mark gave the two a fish out of the water look. One that made his manager pinch the bridge of his nose but shook it off while Johnny on the other hand gave him a questioning look. The man wasn’t stupid, he could see how distant Mark had been and at most kept to himself despite trying to act like everything is fine and bond with him and Jaehyun, but he’s not that great at covering the heart on his sleeve.

“Here, take the intern with you and ask for the lunch platter at Cafe 7 Dream, the meeting is in less than an hour and we still aren’t prepared.” The manager rushedly spoke, handing him his credit card, the gray hairs on his side seemingly growing with every word he spoke. It was a large investment meeting and he needed to secure this but he had been so careless that their hospitality was a wreck. 

Nevertheless, Mark agreed, the new intern standing behind the other two men that he hadn’t noticed her until she popped out, startling him a bit. She was young and timid, he hadn’t heard her speak but that little jump she caused him made her laugh apologetically. 

That’s the most verbal communication they had through the ride to the cafe. The radio was adamant on playing TVXQ and she enjoyed it while he focused more on the sounds the tires made and the honking from outside. Even when they arrived at the cafe they didn’t speak, if anything their expression said it all. He seemed tired and uninterested while she was indifferent with only polite smiles to her senior.

Crossing the threshold of the first doors, a familiar figure stops in front of him much to the other’s confusion when his indifference turns into a content smile. No matter how frustrated he was with what he had read, an inkling in him will always remind him of the affection he has for you. “Y/n, hi!” He exclaims, turning to you a hand reaching for your shoulder. You’re not too sure how genuine his giddiness is but in the moment for Mark, it’s the most sincere thing ever, more than you have ever been.

It’s not enough to convince you though, with your eyes flitting between him and the intern as he kisses your cheek and the other stands awkwardly behind only flashing you a quick greeting smile before looking around.

“What are you doing here?” Your voice broke the interactions, a hint of annoyance and to an extent accusatory over something that you haven’t voiced, turning to her again before looking back at him. The young girl wasn’t quite sure of how you felt but knew it was a safer bet to go order before their boss called, clenching his ass from how fast time went and he didn’t have things ready.

Clearing her throat, “I’m going to go order… The card?” She extends both hands, Mark takes out their manager’s card and hands it to her who bolts to the register. It doesn’t take Mark long to turn to you, smile slowly faltering, seeing your stare. Unsure if it’s a glare or if that’s how you look at someone when no longer adoring.

“Manager sent us to get something for a meeting.” He brings his smile back, hoping that would help. Yet, you hum and that’s all he gets. It takes a few seconds until your mouth, like a fountain, unexpectedly spouts something. “I’ve asked you to get things for me from here but you always say you don’t know where this place is.” A soft huff leaves you while forcing a smile. You can feel warmth rush from your skull down to your feet. It’s not pleasant, at all, but you can’t lose your cool right now. Not in front of him.

Perhaps if this had happened before reading your entries, Mark would have dismissed it but now he was growing knowledge of your behavioral cues and he can see your hands go behind your back, allowing your nails to cling onto your bare skin.

He musters a sigh and looks at his watch, the meeting was near. “We can talk about this later, pretty girl.” His hand reaches your arm to stop you although he makes sure to not let you know he knows about your little habit.

You shake your head, smiling up at him and going in for a kiss. “No, it’s cool, it’s fine. I just– don’t worry about it. I’ll see you later at home, okay? Okay.” You didn’t wait for a response and habits don’t die so he found it preferable to drop it. At least he’ll probably read about it in your journal soon and not have you complain in his ear.

Of course you’re not going to be in his ear when you’re on your phone frantically typing something and soon putting it to your own. Seems you’ll be blowing someone else’s ear off and it’s likely the poor loser will be Jungwoo. With every motion, flailing arm, and facial contortion– Mark knew enough of how this little thing made you feel and all he could react with was a grunt.

On weekends, by the time he began to rustle in bed and stretch, he’d be greeted with kisses and tight embraces. They often made him giggle but this weekend was much different. Once again, he woke up with the plush on the floor, a cold bed, and the window closed with only the racket outside the bedroom door. Everything was muffled but if there’s something he identified was the smell of food being made and those two laughs he’s known very well for quite a while now.

With some surprise, he jolts up. His body aches from the lack of stretching but his feet don’t care and drag him out of bed. Opening the door he’s met with Jungwoo and Jaehyun bickering about how heavy the couch was, soon to shift their attention to the movie that had been playing through broadcast TV. On the other hand he turned to look at you taking out things from a cabinet, Jungwoo rushing to help, a screwdriver in hand as he inspected the door– it creaked.

“Morning…” He greets, stretching a bit and hiding his yawn behind his arm. You make way towards him but the other two were quicker, taking his hand and continuing their greeting-shake. By the time you reach him, he kisses the top of your head, your arms around his torso in a hug like they should’ve been when he woke up. Jaehyun and Jungwoo throw each other a glance, one you both miss but that they mask with their teasing towards Mark.

“Morning? It’s nearly two.” Jaehyun begins, “Can you blame him? What does he have to do on a lovely Saturday?” Jungwoo continued but it came out rather bitter despite trying to be playful. Mark manages to laugh just like the rest of you, it doesn’t change the warning look you throw at Jungwoo who ignores it while removing the cabinet door, showing more chipped parts to it.

“Can you help me find something, then?” Mark dismisses the other two, looking directly down at you. Without hesitating you nod, walking to the room with him, your grasp on his torso not falling, rewarded with a tender smile of his. Unbeknownst to you two, the other pair give each other a glance again, although this time it lingers on each other. Disappointment and exhaustion painting itself on their features before going back to the favors.

The wooden door shut behind you two, Mark makes way to the restroom to brush his teeth and wash his face, leaving you situated on the bed and confused. “What are we looking for?” You question with some excitement as if this was a task you truly wanted when making him happy was enough.

“Why didn’t you tell me they were coming?” He finally speaks, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, hair strands damp. “They’re just fixing some stuff.” You ease softly, smiling up at him as he stares at you. 

His hand perched on your shoulders, pushing you down on the mattress and met with a surprised squeaking giggle that he shut immediately with a kiss. Those same hands wrapped around your body pulling you flush against him as his tongue works against your own.

Lips became slick by the moment but he felt so much pour into that kiss. So much longing and desire. A mixture of lust and guilt and that balance may be why he felt the need to keep you here in this room with him and not out there with those vultures.

Possession is the word he’s looking for.

His hands began a journey down your body, feeling every curve until they rested on your hips. Inching closer to the hem of your shorts, teasing their entrance under. It was enough for you to gasp quietly, feeling his cold damp fingers while he kissed you, smiling into it. He swallowed every word and protest before you could even spew them. 

Your own hands on his hair, lips submissive to his. A moan when you feel his digits fully in between your legs. You shake your head but not in protest but rather of how much you needed his touch. “Say something…” He whispers against your lips, no smile on his face. “Please…” You beg, his fingers making slow circles to not hurt you but enough to get you to lubricate and use that instead.

The scene was greedy and lustful but ultimately, he was reminded of those two out there and the reason as to why they were present lingered. Was the couch and cabinet door that important that you had to call the little crew? No matter how displayed you are for him, with your hands holding onto him, lips kissing his own, and legs open for his own disposition– Mark was still aggravated.

Softly he pulled away from you, caressing your face with his free hand while his fingers went to work. “Why didn’t you ask me to help instead of them?” He tries to seem soft spoken like his caresses but those become rougher the more he speaks. “Would you have done it?” There he knew how much little faith you had on him and the scene from a while back repeats.

“I’d go to the end of the world for you, Y/n.” Mark confesses into the kiss, neither of you too sure how truthful that was. His fingers make their entrance into you, slowly moving to elicit a response. Your body ran hot, his clothed figure above you, silently begging for you to at least believe a fraction of what he said. Those pleading and mopping eyes as he pumped his ring and middle finger, increasing the pace.

You believe me like a God,

‘You’re being so cruel.’ You want to tell him, to engrave it in his brain but it instead came out as a pleased disgruntled moan, one he took as accepting his lies. Mark smiles, head tilting to the side before lowering it to begin kissing your chest. Tongue lapping on the dents your collarbones create, whispering his ailments in them to the point of flooding and creating lakes that flowed down to your perked nipples after unbuttoning your blouse. His tongue, scorching and velvet against them. Granted was a jolt and a gasp when you felt his mouth wrap around one, biting softly to soon suction on the tit.

I’ll destroy you like I am.

Teeth grace your goosebump filled skin, kissing where his teeth left razor marks. Threatening crimson to spill only to be a false alarm, lingering pain and pleasure was all that was intended to reside. His fingers slowed the pace, blunt thrusts per second that left an ache between your legs when his palm came in contact with your outer skin, but oh how good it felt when his fingers hit your sweet spot. It doesn’t help that by this point he had inserted a third finger, the stretch causing so much more need within you.

His mouth travels up the path he created after years of savoring your body. Tongue feeding the dried stream, cool when its source disappeared to carve marks on your neck. It was so juvenile but he wanted you to go out of that room with some swelling for those two to see. Eliciting another moan from you, Mark’s free hand softly comes up to your mouth, covering and sealing it with shushes against your ear.

“Do you want them to know what we’re doing?” He whispers in the same location, you shake your head fervently, feeling hazy and growing even more needy. “Good girl.” He grins, removing his hand to hold your neck, pulling you in for another kiss. His teeth gracing your lower lip, softly nipping it to soon ease the pain he’s caused with his tongue– as he always does.

His fingers kept working their magic between your legs despite the constriction of your shorts, his wedding band no longer feeling cold inside of you but the fact that he didn’t think about removing it made you feel more aroused. To feel that metal piece unite you besides legality but through flesh and body.

Mark must have felt your growing arousal, especially with how much easier it was to ease his fingers within you. The clamping of your walls, more of a clue. In this instance he wanted to be cruel, and he attempted so. His hand stopped moving, rapidly getting out of your shorts and causing a desperate groan to leave your lips, legs quivering from the abrupt halt.

Just as he was going to cause a drought to the land of your skin and mouth, your hands took a hold of his body. Wrapping around his shoulders to hold him near, causing him to stumble slightly but not to topple over you; able to hold himself up. He won’t deny that knocked the wind out of him to a degree, feeling like in any instant he could have crushed you but pride and satisfaction soon filled him.

“Please, Mark… let’s finish at least.” You beg, your voice drunk off of his touch and whiny from how long it had been since you received anything from him. “Yeah? You want that?” He questions, making fun of you with that smug grin on his face, remaining features feigning compassion. He smiles at your desperate nod, mimicking the motion when he laughs quietly, kissing you again. 

Swallowing every single one of your silent moans that he told you to keep quiet to not let those two outside know what he was doing to you. Thing is, he did want them to know, he wanted them to see how fucked you will look once he is done with you. He wants them to see how your legs spasm when trying to walk and see how marked and irritated your neck is. He’s simply making fun of you right now and you’re falling for it because you will be anything he wants. Even a fool.

His hand slowly slides off your shorts and panties, caressing your warm legs in the process. His once calloused fingers from his creative days that he left behind now soft and tender. You held his face in between your own hands, making sure he never kept too much distance between your lips, that fresh taste of mint still lingers on his tongue.

“But do you deserve it?” Mark immediately stops his caressing and kissing, the words echoing in the cavern of your mouth, you swallow them. His gaze is cold but curious, scanning your own for a response, a witty one.

In this instance he tries to remove his touch from you, your grip on him despite how his knee teases its clothed friction against your exposed and destitute clit. He had been denying you an orgasm for the past fifteen minutes, depriving the other two from knowing what was going on but Mark didn’t care, he was luxuriating in this.

“You’re being so cruel.” You finally say the words that had been covering the walls of your brain and heart. Needy yet angry tears prickling the corner of your closed eyes. It wasn’t just lust but the fact that he was playing dirty when you’re so vulnerable and in dire need of getting something from him. For once.

“You think so?” His knee stops, eyebrow quirking, shit-eating grin falling. You nod, a pout forming, making things worse. ‘Did you really have to cry now?’ He asks himself, huffing as he shakes his head, pulling down his sleeping shorts.

“You jump to conclusions so quickly, it's always such a shame.” He doesn’t dare look directly at your face as he speaks this, knowing that the constraint and squeeze of your heart was showing. No, instead you’re met with the warm feeling of his spit falling off his tongue onto your cunt, some on the tip of his cock.

To be given something forced you to shut your eyes, a moan of relief enclosed within the four walls of the bedroom you shared with him. It became louder when you felt the intrusion of his dick within your walls, his mouth covering yours to drown those sounds. He likes to cherish these sounds for his own entertainment.

He gives you a few seconds to adjust to him, the girth feeling foreign despite how familiar you are with every inch and crevice of his body. Slowly, he picks up the pace, raising your leg to prop it beside him. “See how things turn out when you’re patient?” He asks, searching for your eyes but they’re shut.

The most he gains are pleasured moans in the crook of his neck. Mark can’t figure out how satisfied he is with that answer, so his hand opts to slap the inside of thigh, causing you to whine but reward it with kisses to his neck.

To be fair you didn’t think this could last long. Not when you abstain from self gratification, knowing that only he can bring you to an orgasm and given it’s been a while since you two slept together, an orgasm was long overdue. The friction of his pelvis on your clit while he thrusted was not helping. Just feeling that extra sense of overstimulation while his shaft filled every nook and cranny of your cunt, feeling his length bulge in your stomach.

Holding your body to his, your face buried in his neck begging him to please let you come. The hand beneath you pushing you flush against his own body. If it wasn’t for his shirt as of now, he’d be more vocal with how well you’re both feeling his cock go in and out of you. For now he’s relying on his sweet words, worshiping how well you’re taking him.

Specifically: “Feel how perfectly you were meant for me, pretty girl?” He grabs your hand holding his shoulder, pressing it against your stomach and for some reason that makes you feel like you could come any second now, begging him silently to let you. To please grant you this one thing.

“Fuck, Mark… just give me this, please…” You cry out, eyes screwed shut, lashes wet from pained and pleasured tears. You felt it in your core, you felt how bad your body clamored for some release.

“How bad do you want it?” He asks, his own words struggling to come out unlike the pre-come lining your walls. “As much as you.” You claim, fingernails clinging to his skin, a shallow groan leaving him. He likes to know how much you need him and if you were going to the lengths of hurting him to leave your message, so be it.

With every thrust, your nails dig deeper into his shoulder blades, sliding down his back. Whether he was picking up masochism or basked in the pleasure of the sadism he inflicted, Mark felt it. He felt how he gave out before you. Spurts of come followed with desperate deep moans that you swallowed in dire need of your own release.

But he was cruel. Very fucking cruel that the second that he stopped spasming and decorating your walls, his actions halt. For a few seconds he holds his position, head on your chest trying to relax his body full of adrenaline. If he was to look at you, he knew your face would beg him for your own release.

After a minute or two he pulls away slowly, taking his shirt off and reaching for the wipes inside his night stand. He warms them with his breath, moving them around to disperse the heat, only to lay them flat between your legs to clean off anything that fell out (although not much), propping your legs up and laying some pillows behind your back so you could rest for now.

Tongue poking his cheek before sighing and turning his back to you. “That’s cruel.” He didn’t say anything furthermore, his voice harsh and cold. Locking the bathroom door behind him and leaving you sprawled on the bed, arousal immediately terminated and the only feeling was of regret for saying what you did and letting things go this far. You couldn’t cry either, the other two would probably cut you off this time for good. So you’ll deny your body from letting out its emotions again. Afterall, Mark has made you be so resilient in that aspect.

Jungwoo’s and Jaehyun’s tasks were complete by the time Mark had gotten out of the shower, lunch too. The entire time underwater he spent it beating himself for the decisions he’s made to let things go this way. A month ago he was content thinking his wife loved him despite his flaws but Jaehyun’s big mouth made him unravel slowly that he was doing more harm than building an eternal home. Mark was resentful, he’s not going to deny that. He hated how quickly theatrics and how easy things he saw as fine can fall.

It stung more that you were laughing uncontrollably with the other two, seemingly neither had anything to mention of the marks on your neck or the completely different outfit you have in comparison to the shorts and blouse from earlier. Hell, Jaehyun is sitting in his chair rubbing salt on the wound and you are not saying anything upon noticing Mark; it sucked the life out of him. A slug in a bath of salt.

“Sit, I’ll fix your plate.” You smile at him as if nothing had happened in the four walls of the bedroom, your conformity noticeable. By this point he had taken the cold seat he was unfamiliar with. Sitting across from you was not something he was accustomed to, not in his own home at least, but here he was, watching two men who actually do drop everything for you. Two men that were his friends first, cracking jokes just to make you smile and laugh at which you did, enough to hunch over, something you haven't done with him in a while. 

Mark had blocked out the conversation completely, watching your moves and theirs. Your facial expressions and where your hands landed from time to time. That deafness fell when you placed the plate before him. The presentation made it obvious that others had gotten to your food before him. The mixture of ingredients painting the canvas of his plate faster than prior times when he was the first to cut through the masterpiece of your dishes. This time it was tampered and by the looks of Jaehyun’s still neatly moved around plate, he was the one to break through first.

Throughout lunch Mark tried his best to not speak, only replying when spoken to or agreeing in some sense. Things got worse when your cell phone kept buzzing and buzzing uncontrollably on the kitchen counter that made the other two give each other a glance, this time, not gone unnoticed by him and piquing his interest further.

The incessant buzzing continues, enough that Jungwoo sighs before lolling his head to give you a weird look. “Is it that dick?”  

‘Oh?’ Mark thinks to himself, an eyebrow raising as he begins to chew slower. Your glare towards Jungwoo to hush him is futile when Jaehyun joins. “Haven’t you told him to stop bothering you after work?” He sounded angry, the type of rage Mark should have, not Jaehyun. In his mind: Jealousy and that made his feelings worse.

How selfish.

“What dick? What are you guys on about?” Mark was so annoyed and frustrated at this point that venom laced every single one of his words, spraying it as he flayed his hands. Your silence made it worse, more painful was that you did so while Jaehyun and Jungwoo took it upon themselves to explain. The two, immensely tired of you not saying anything, of not speaking up.

Jungwoo goes first, he knows, they work together for Christ’s sake. “What’s his name? Ah, whatever… Y/n’s floor colleague has been bothering her for a while, you should know.” He frustratedly shakes his head, fork digging into his plate without noticing the look Mark throws at you. “Yeah…” He mutters, eyes never leaving you, all knowing he’s lying and upset.

“You should really report him, Y/n-ie.” Jaehyun breaks through, forcing Mark’s neck to snap and look at him. He was just making things worse because all Mark could feel was his lunch rapidly collecting in his throat. Cutlery dropping from his hands.

‘Y/n-ie’?! What an insolent fuck! That’s what Mark thought of Jaehyun. How dare he use a diminutive for you? Who the fuck did he think he was? Not even he, Mark, your husband called you that. What a fucking asshole.

How selfish.

A coward too, he wouldn’t know how to react either way. Instead he revels in your words as a distraction. “My boss seems to like him a lot. The only one getting in trouble would be me.” You sigh, fork moving food around. Mark looked between you and your actions, you noticed him, that you took a few bites to make him stop.

“Why don’t you apply to where we work?” He suggests, chewing what was on his fork, now using it to point between him and Jaehyun. Foolish to not grasp yet how that would mean seeing Jaehyun more and having it rub in his face that even under the same roof you’ll run to him for favors.

You liked the idea, it was easy to notice how much you perked up at the fact that he suggested being together 24/7 no matter the different departments.

Jungwoo had other plans, “Then you’d leave me alone.” He pouts childishly. On other occasions he’d laugh too and call him cute but he doesn’t think he can see Jungwoo as fondly as before. “Move to my floor instead.” He continues to test the waters but is met with a kind giggle and shrug from you.

The afternoon transpired with finishing lunch. Jaehyun had insisted on cleaning the dishes while Jungwoo the pots. Mark on the other hand sat on the couch, eyes often stealing glances on how you interacted with the other two. If you tried to clean, they’d reject the idea and tell you to just go sit and do what Mark is doing: nothing; an obvious jab. 

Ending their visit with discussing the kick-back Johnny was hosting at his place in a few weeks. Something about the Champions or US Open? You’re not sure. You were growing more worried about Mark, that you ended up telling whoever to just text you the deets. They smiled with a nod… and a kiss to your cheek as a goodbye while waving to Mark who perked at the scene. He felt his eyes warm and heavy. Not sure if they were tears beginning to form from jealousy or insecurity. 

You throw him an acknowledging smile while making your way to the bedroom. He stood up, leaving the TV on to follow behind. Before you could open the closet door to fetch something to sleep in, you feel his arms wrap around you. There was desperation to his grab, his hold was rough. Your back hit his chest, feeling his exasperated breath on your neck. Soft kisses at first but nipping soon after to leave his name all over you again, claiming you since it seemed like the others weren’t being repelled.

“Mark?…” You call out, his hands knead your skin. “Why didn’t you tell me?… Why did you keep–” ‘everything’ he wanted to say, “that from me?” 

“Come on–” you intend to plead but he’s not letting it go. “Why?!” He asks exasperatedly against your face while he leaves wet kisses on the skin, pleadingly. “I didn’t want to burden you.” You confess, a whine at the harsh grasp.

“You’re my wife! I need to know these types of things, Y/n. You can’t just keep things from me, how can we be good to– how can it be good for us?” He exclaims; angry and wailing all at once.

‘How can we be good together like this?’ He wanted to say, biting his tongue to not tell truths while sober. Mark didn’t know what it was, but it hurt. He had been thinking about this for weeks. How to ask you overall about the things you’ve hidden from him but now that he has the chance to bring it up, he can’t help but feel resentful and pained. 

Why did you trust Jaehyun and Jungwoo more than him? He’s your husband.

He expected that once married, loyalty would be granted to him no matter what, one way or another. Just like she had granted it to Donghyuck despite how flawed their marital logic was.

Sure, he made things worse but would the universe be cruel enough for him to be in Hyuck’s shoes years later? He deserved it, he knew, something at least, but that ill side of him– what he had learned from her plagues him and demands you to love him unconditionally. To do things on your own without the help of others even when he’s the one to deny you any aid, when he’s at fault.

Mark is miserable and he expects you to be so too… even more than you already are.

Misery loves company.

His hands stopped their harsh kneading, turning you around to look at him. His tired and weary eyes looked straight into yours. But while he felt resentful and confused, you felt odd. Why was he acting like he cared all of the sudden? It was strange and while you appreciated it to an extent, you also hated it.

You weren’t used to it at least, and you weren’t sure if this act would last. You don’t want to admit it but that voice hidden in the vault of your heart loathes him more than anything.

“Okay…” You nod. “I’m sorry. I’ll tell you things more often, yeah?” 

“Please…”

You nod and he nods, pleadingly; he’s not content and neither are you. 

After that discussion, the day transpired as if nothing had happened. He had returned to the living room leaving you to do whatever while he kept his distance. Only answering with hums and nods whenever you come out of the room.

Did you mind? No, it was so normalized it didn’t make you angry anymore. You actually felt like things were back to normal and this was sufficient enough. Mark on the other hand tried everything to ignore how he felt or regulate those emotions since he wasn’t too sure who he was mad with. 

By the time he had figured he was over it, you had fallen asleep alone like all those times he did weeks prior. A warmth filled his chest at the thought. An inkling telling him to wake up before you do the following day just to leave that dissatisfaction you had left in him, not accounting with how disappointed you were with him already that it wouldn’t affect you in the slightest.

He wouldn’t do it, though. Not because he cared enough, but because he wasn’t planning on waking up early to be petty. What he will do is go back to the living room and let his fingers roam like Thing until those crumpled and messy pages sat on his lap and he laid on the couch, stereo system on.

Instantly he’s met with those familiar sharp corners and loops. Numbers, increasing and decreasing significantly. The larger ones bold from rage, the decreasing one's neatly written with smiley faces next to them. He still couldn’t figure out what they meant but he surely enjoyed the recipes you kept adding to the journal and the doodles of how they turned out. Although, he felt that they lacked so much substance.

All of these felt either welcoming or asked that he be eradicated from this earth for the way he’s breaching your privacy, acting like an over controlling strict father despite being your husband. Almost like his dad, but don’t tell him that or he’ll throw a fit. For having lived so many lives, he's surely turning into the worst version of himself.

Through more flipping to see if he missed anything, he came across some interesting notes. All which made his stomach churn and that pride he would once feel, turned to– well, some type of disgust and concern…

‘I’ll do anything for him but every day I’m going insane with tense trials. It’s fine. If I have to go insane to stay with him I will.’

Mark sighs heavily, hands covering his face to soon slide off hoping his flesh would fall with them, groaning to himself.

Fuck, he loved you. In a fucked up way he did but how much could he endure knowing things aren’t fine and dandy? Sure, his first instinct is to try and fix things but there’s also that part that won’t let him strive for any change and it’s winning.

Change hasn’t been the kindest to him in the past. Hell, it’s the reason he’s morphed into what he is now but you accept him this way. That’s what the incessant and pestering part of him told him to let things be and just act like he doesn’t know what you truly are.

He should be glad, no? To know that you love him so much that it’s killing you. Yet, he isn’t. He’s not sure why, maybe because of his deep buried true morality but he has also grown to be selfish and he wants to relish in the glory of your love until you hit a breaking point.

For once he doesn’t want to be a Bernal character and it seems this is where he is slowly breaking that pattern— albeit, he is not enjoying it either. 

Perhaps it was the hour, his growing resentment, anger, and hurt, or he was overstimulated that caused the music in the background to tremble and clog his ears the longer he kept reading. Lists upon lists of things you had to do at work followed by entries on how much longer your hours would run every instance you paid no mind to that dick that the guys described.

Countless entries of your boss calling your attention after that asshole complains. Instances in which, despite how many pictures of Mark you put up in your cubicle, he makes an effort to make them disappear any time you’re not near. On company dinners, Jungwoo and you make it your life’s mission to slither away from the crowd– to be seen but not noticed, enough to not be reprimanded when you’re miles away from danger.

‘Jungwoo mentions in passing every opening in his floor as an incentive to ask for a transfer. Going as far as getting letters of assistance to request my temporary time in the department. Hours to days, they have been great but not everything lasts. With just one foot back inside in my department, the entire mood shifts and it’s back to reality.’

Mark doesn’t understand why his chest aches every time he reads your journal. Perhaps there’s a moderate amount of empathy but he also feels hurt knowing you’re hiding so much from him.

Years worth of things and even if you don’t say it, you make it known you hate the person he is. Mark is sure that if you weren't attached to him like you are, you’d loathe him the way you loathe everyone who has wronged you. He wonders how long it will be until your love runs out and he will finally become one of them.

He shouldn’t expect it but if it happened with Donghyuck who promised to never leave him, of course it can happen with you who he has wronged just as bad as his brother, even if you do everything in your power to prove him wrong. Mark tends to bite the hand that feeds him, if he gnaws for far too long, surely there will be consequences.

03:46, a warm night in 2008… Aggravated and nauseous from making your suffering about himself, Mark dictates that it was enough meddling for the day. Tiresome and bleary-eyed, head thumping achingly with the music debilitating him; Mark stands up frustratedly to turn off Sinead O’Connor angrily screaming ‘you’re a liar’ over and over making him forget about the journal on his lap.

The vegan leather taunts him with its loud thump against the floor, screeching as he picks it up but in the process he drops some notes. “Fuck me!” He curses frantically, knowing you’ll definitely know he’s been snooping when none of these end up where you originally placed them. He starts to panic, he feels his heart race dangerously, his aching head is now spinning, flipping through pages to see where he can put these in, yet in the process he stops.

“Don’t beat yourself up because of him. I’ll always be on your corner and so will Jungwoo. I love you, y/n. – Jaehyunie ♡”

I love you, y/n… Not ‘we love you’ but ‘I. I love you’.

Mark’s blood runs cold, his eyes bulge. In that moment he feels his chest and heart compress, squeezing the life out of him.

This is what Mark’s fears came to. He worried so much about your unconditional love becoming conditional, that the universe allowed him to see the incriminating clue that told him that sooner than later that was to happen. Right?

 ‘Dinner on me today! NO buts! Who else can take care of you if not for Jaehyun and me?! XOXO — Snoops XD.’

The pitch black ink taunts him, questioning how recent or how old these must be. The handwriting felt juvenile with every smooth corner and small bottoms. The top of every letter felt bubbly and messy when connecting. Jaehyun’s could still be neat when messy and for some reason that bothered Mark more.

Unbeknownst to Mark, the papers were crumpling between his shaky fingers. As shaky as his breath restraining whatever he was feeling. ‘Who else can take care of you if not for Jaehyun and me?’ Mark repeats to himself that same question for a hundred more times, each making him more angry. ‘Who else but her husband? Me!’ He wants to yell at the top of his lungs. Drill it in the minds of everyone in your shared circle. He was capable of taking care of you!

But being capable doesn’t change the fact that he didn’t nor put effort into doing so.

No, Mark didn’t want to think about it. He didn’t want to jump into conclusions of infidelity or anything down that rabbit hole. He knew you wouldn’t do it. He wants to think that, he wants to believe it. You’re literally ruining yourself for him, so why would you do all that to throw it all away? Regardless, he can’t swallow the lump in his throat. 

He also once thought him and Hyuck would be in each other’s lives until they died. It later turned into him believing Hyuck would fade into the shadows of this earth and not ever see him because she would be his, choosing him, but that didn’t happen. In fact it was the opposite. He also didn’t become the renowned artist he was in his college years with a list full of connections that left him when he fell from grace. 

He didn’t end up thriving in the studio where he was meant to start over and is now in a dead-end design engineering job because of his father and his connections, not Mark’s. Did he know anything about it going in? He knew the word design but oh god how far can connections go if he landed something like that.

Even you, he met you because of his father, and the bells of the life he avoided for years rang incessantly letting him know no one can run from their faith. No matter how hard they try.

It didn’t matter if he was or wasn’t in Hyuck’s shoes, it only mattered that he now knew how much pain Hyuck was going through seeing his wife rejoice in the care and love of men he considered friends. That and the fact that he was making your unraveling all about himself, at least they can share that too.

He couldn’t understand how you acted so peaceful and put together when during lunch he’d visit the cafes you frequented with Jungwoo and found you the same as the first time. Exasperated, vexed, and angry with a cigarette between your fingers when you two were to leave.

A chuckle on his lips remembering all the times you pestered him to quit smoking because you wanted him for many years to come. Now he’s not sure if you want to be with him as much, no matter how many times you write about it.

“You’re still a liar, you’re still a liar, you’re still a liar!”

Monday rolled around in which Mark swore to not allow Jungwoo another lunch date with you. Furthering his selfishness and restricting your moments of relief so he could take that time up. You wouldn't mind, right? It’s him after all…

It goes to say that when he stepped through the ample threshold of your floor with a cute little bag in his hand and some drinks in the other, that confusion crossed your mind before that thought was pushed back by adoration. 

“What are you doing here?” You ask with a warm smile. You felt like a child whose parents never showed up for any activities but this one. That childish glee and relief of knowing that you are loved. “Can’t pay my wife a visit?” Mark retaliates with a cheeky smile, leaning in to give you a short but sweet kiss.

You want to say it felt like when you first began dating. So sweet, tender, and soft. How he was before you married and his facade fell, showing how dependent he was. His small acts of love come through.

You want to believe it so bad that you’re willing to push back the tiny voice in your head trying to force you to question what he wanted out of you if he was willing to visit you this far.

“Well yeah,” You giggle in an effort to leave your desk. “Come, let’s go to the rooftop.” Your hand takes a hold of his wrist, pulling him along until that incessant blob of human flesh presents itself right in front of you both, blocking the way. 

“Well look at that. Your husband, right? Didn’t think you’d like the soft ones…” A mocking grin slapped on his face, arms crossed against his chest. He wasn’t much taller than Mark but he sure was confident to take a step closer to you both. Mark opts to carry all bags in one hand, twisting his wrist to hold your hand rather than you him.

You sigh, looking for ways to respond but Mark doesn’t give you time, walking around him with you in front, ignoring any calls from him to go back for a conversation. Such an insufferable man, Mark was aware but to you, this moment, you were still treating it like one of your earlier dates. His attentiveness and courage of protecting you. You missed that Mark and any resentment from marrying him faded for now.

“That’s him?” Mark breaks the silence, the walk to the rooftop consisting of him complaining from these few seconds they met. If he thought this much from only that timeframe, you wonder how long he would have lasted in your shoes. 

You responded to his complaints with nods and hums, taking a seat across from him on the bistro table. He laid back on the chair relaxed, if it wasn’t for his babbling one would think he wasn’t really affected.

“And, I mean, he’s such a dick.” He groans, sitting up straight, his roll of eyes halting upon noticing you pick at one half of the sandwich. 

Mayo wiped off, pickles on the bundle of used napkins, the turkey they touched on top of them, chunks of old avocado added to the tower. “What are you doing? Why are you picking at your food all of the sudden?” He leans against the table, elbows on the glass to be closer to you. In that instance, you stop your actions, looking at him through lashes before raising your head.

“Mark, I don't like these. I thought you knew by now…”

Fuck.

“No, yeah, I know. I’m sorry…” His hand leaves his chin, stretching it to hold yours. “Sorry, I forgot to check the order at the cafe, I didn’t want traffic to get me.” You smile at him, he smiles at you. You know he’s lying but it’s the thought that counts. “Plus, I think I came at the perfect time. Imagine I had come later and he had bothered you more?” His fingers squeeze yours, a little too hard if you say so. 

He’s received with a shrug. “He’s a dick, like you said.” You giggle softly, pulling your hand away to wipe them with another napkin. “He doesn’t react like that with Jaehyun, though. Does everything to avoid him.” Your head tilts, reassembling the sandwich to presentability. 

“Jaehyun?” You gave him that same look as when he questioned you seconds earlier, except it was softer and almost incriminating. You didn’t mean it in any form, more casually but after his findings, Mark can’t say he’s too happy with this information.

“Oh, well, when you can’t bring what I ask you to, I… sometimes ask Jae. So, they've met before…” Your gaze lowers, taking the other sandwich half onto your hands. “I think he’s scared of Jae, to be honest.” You giggle in attempts to break whatever tension you felt from your husband.

‘Jae, Jae, Jae. Christ, what a broken record.’ Mark thought, an urge to roll his eyes at the mention of his coworker. For fucks sake, he was the last thing he wanted to think about or even see. The only reason he saw him today was because of work but that should be it. He shouldn’t be hearing or thinking about his name here with you. Let alone hear it coming from you, his wife.

Stretching your hand towards him, you smile. “Here, eat the other half. These are huge on their own.” He took it, lunch soured by your incessant need to bring up Jaehyun and that dickhead from earlier.

Was this how he was paid? Making an effort to be a good husband just to have things be thrown in his face?

Lunch ended not too long after, he was on his own lunch break after all. It goes to say that his drop off and goodbye bid seemed lackluster in comparison to his greeting.

“Um, and don’t forget to file a floor change.” He gave you a tired smile and a quick kiss. It was the last thing he said to you while fixing any pictures of you two on your desk —three missing now— before heading towards the elevator. 

Like an act of a malice-meaning demon, when reaching the twelfth floor, the doors yanked themselves open like a grand introduction to a world renowned boxer or an all-show wrestler, showcasing that smug pug-faced asshole. A silent chuckle upon placing himself next to Mark who slumped against the railing and mirror walls.

Mark greeted him with a huff, head lolling similar to his eyes. The feeling got worse when he heard him blubbering, “At first I thought that the other guy was her boyfriend. You know, tall, dimples; suits her better.” He nods to himself, egging Mark’s ringing ears.

Here they went again. Bringing Jaehyun into every conversation. It’s made worse knowing that this idiot felt even Jaehyun could be your partner. That no matter how many images of Mark you display, to the world only Jae was good enough for you. Because he’s the only one who shows up.

“He seems like an actual man or that guy from the floor below. The orange haired one, a little weird but he surely goes out of his way to not let me have some fun for the day.” He laughs, snorting at his abhorrence. He turns to Mark, swallowing that disgusting lump of mucus in his throat, hand itching to come in contact with Mark’s smooth cheek. A pat of mockery. “She’s doing charity work with you.” 

Ironic, Mark would say. Ironic that he thinks you’re doing charity work with him when this idiot was never an afterthought. The older man insists on glaring at Mark, not letting their gazes drop, seeking any response from Mark even when the elevator rings, letting them know they’ve hit the garage lobby. He felt victorious feeling as if he had struck a nerve when Mark hopped off without a peep. Only for his triumph to be shut down shortly after.

“No wonder she has never mentioned you before. You’re repulsive to even think about and a sorry excuse for a man.”

A disgusted scowl replaced Mark’s poker face, glaring at the once mocking jackass whose face had sagged, shock turning into anger that he didn’t know how to express before the doors closed, making his target disappear from view.

Mark might have felt great in the moment but things could only go worse for you. He didn’t think about the consequences of his actions. He never did. He didn’t think about how it would affect you at work and the repercussions you faced for the weeks to come. Mark hadn’t processed he was at fault until your journal became frantic, pages with holes from how hard you wrote on them. Crumpled from the anger you couldn’t express besides abusing those pages.

He didn’t notice because he was indulging amongst the side notes and words highlighted with your tears about how scared you were of losing him. Your quick remarks on how you felt him pulling away or acting odd. Imploring to whichever higher being to not take him from you if that was the case. While you’re wallowing in the pits of your sadness hoping he won’t leave you, Mark enjoys the feeling of warmth seeing your desperation.

It meant you loved him, right? With how things were going on with Jaehyun, Mark took any crumb of your love that only felt real when you wrote about it. It’s hard to understand why he didn’t feel it was real when it came from your lips but it did when you confessed to the things you’ve put yourself through for him. For him, not Jaehyun, him, Mark. That felt like love.

Right, only on paper it felt like love. Not like now that you found yourself in Johnny’s kitchen with Jaehyun next to you like a guard dog, chewing your ear off with whatever he was saying despite your look of anguish. A worrying look to Mark and the likes of his— well, your friend it seems.

He had been enjoying the final match with Johnny, Yanyang, and the other coworkers they shared. You had been sitting by his side for most of it but it wasn’t until a few minutes ago that Jaehyun pulled you aside, asking for your help to make some drinks for the rest of the guests but now he was holding you hostage, begging you to drink some water.

Mark figured the drinks you had were getting to you and Jaehyun could tell. He won’t say he’s fond of that fact. That Jaehyun knows you well to the point he can tell when you need to be cut off.

Mark tried not making it obvious but when only his head isn’t turned to the TV and the host is making sure his guests are having a good time, well it’s hard to miss. Johnny notices it too, how Jaehyun was fixing you a slider, the words: “You haven’t eaten well, stop trying to fool me.” sternly spewing from his mouth.

No mayo, no pickles, no condiments at all. Just a plain cheeseburger slider. He knew how you liked it by heart and that’s something that makes Mark’s heart pound in hate.

The feeling becomes worse when your whispering turns frantic and almost audible for the rest to hear. Your words whining like you wanted to cry about how hellish work has become after Mark’s visit. Jaehyun shakes his head, hands pressing against the counter to lean against with an angry look on his face. That infamous look of hollow cheeks and sunken dead eyes. He wanted to say something but knew it was best to be a shoulder to lean on.

“And don’t tell me to talk to him about it because what’s the use?! You know how he is. I love him, I do but—” Your hands come in contact with your forehead, shaking it a bit, “Why can’t he just be a tad bit like you?…” You hiccuped, hands slowly sliding down to your mouth as you shut your eyes. It wasn’t a sign of regret but exhaustion, vile stuck in your throat. 

Jaehyun’s face softened, standing up straight to turn to you. To some form of comfort, his hand extends to rub your back, pulling you in for a side hug while you try to hold in whatever you feel. Jaehyun understands your words come from a place of hurt but confessions like that can be taken wrongly.

“Why can’t he be just a tad bit like you?...” Just like Mark had, who now felt his heart shatter. Disillusioned and hurt, stupid for thinking that you would want him no matter what. Worse off, it was Jaehyun who you confessed that to. Someone that everyone thought was a better fit for you.

I’m sorry I’m the one you love. No one will ever love me like you again.

Johnny took it upon himself to raise the volume of the TV, sparing Mark from any more anguish and saving your business to be heard by the other guests who by the graces of God were more interested in who would win the Stanley Cup this season.

His attempts didn’t work. Mark felt his world crashing down on him in this instance. He wanted to go out and scream, cry even, at the reviving memories flashing through his head. He’s seen this before— no, he’s experienced this.

Her cries to him about Hyuck to soon commence their affair in that same instance. If that was to happen in these walls, Mark thinks it’s his time to take a leap out of Johnny’s apartment balcony.

So when you leave me, I should die. I deserve it, don’t I? I can feel it getting near.

The vile stuck in your throat had been persistent on coming out, enough to push Jaehyun out of the way to run towards Johnny’s bathroom. It’s amazing how enthralled with the game his guests were to not notice anything happening behind them. To not feel Mark’s radiating poison as he watches his wife and ‘friend’ rush towards the bathroom, door slamming behind him. If it wasn’t for Jeno’s and Yangyang’s cheering scream, they would hear you hurl the slider into the toilet bowl, crying along with self-disgust.

Mark couldn’t hold it in anymore; abruptly he stands, ignoring Johnny’s sympathetic look. Not only for him but for you too, aware of Mark’s own flaws. He had thoughts of barging in and blowing Jaehyun’s ear off with his barking. Questioning you about what was going on, but he slowed down when he heard you hiccup and cry before and after vomiting. Jaehyun’s soothing hushes to you making his head spin but innocent enough.

Innocent until he opened his mouth. “Shh, it’s okay. Let it out, it’s okay, pretty girl.” Jaehyun coos into Mark’s eardrum through a megaphone to imprint the notes of his voice onto his brain. 

Pretty girl. That’s his pet name for you, Mark’s pet name. Hurt floods him when you make no effort to correct him and present this fact.

Since when have you become someone else’s pretty girl?

He couldn’t take it any longer, angrily slamming the door open to watch Jaehyun soothing you with backrubs, holding your hair as you went.

“What the fuck are you doing?!” Mark spits out venom, mimicking that of a cobra. His eyes widened by hot fury as he approached you two. You wanted to speak, but the invasion from your gut stopped you, tears being the only thing you were able to respond with.

Jaehyun on the other hand gives him a look as if to tell him to calm down, that everything was fine, more worried about your well being than Mark’s insecurities. “Just helping her out, calm down.”

It aggravated him how collected Jaehyun’s words were, how little mind he paid him or how you made no effort to have Jaehyun stop giving you supportive squeezes (almost like you weren’t fighting for your life).

Mark huffs, hands taking purchase on his waist watching you two, the volume to the television and the guests drawn out by your heaving. He whispers, walking towards Jaehyun with that same menacing look– eye roll worthy, Jaehyun would say.

“I just fucking heard you, she’s my wife. What the fuck are you trying to do?” His finger rose to poke at Jaehyun’s shoulder. The taller one of the two feeling offended by Mark’s accusations and thoughts that he’d snake him like that. Jaehyun was not Mark.

“Sorry, that’s on me,” Jaehyun slaps Mark’s hand away, creating some distance. “I'm just helping her—” “Back the fuck off, she’s my wife…” 

Tired enough by this facade, Jaehyun scowls at Mark, pushing past him towards the door. “Then don’t be a shitty husband and she won’t have to seek other people to do what you can’t! I know how to respect marriages well enough, if anything I’m just helping her. Something you should do for once in your fucking life.”

Jaehyun bites back, watching Mark’s face falter as he slams the door behind him while you continue your sobbing. Overwhelmed by your bodily reaction but mostly for what just ensued in this room. With no form to defend yourself and Jaehyun. Hurt that Mark thought you two would betray him like he’s done to those before you.

You believe me like a God, I’ll betray you like a man.

In that instance Mark wanted to run to Jaehyun and gouge his eyes out, rip his stupid freshly bleached hair out, and beat him until he was nothing else than liquid matter. The words rang horribly inside his head to the point he was seeing red, his vision blurred and stars were floating in his eyes.

History was repeating itself and he was finally paying his wrong doings. He thought Jungwoo and Jaehyun were his friends but Hyuck thought the same of him and now he’s found himself in this predicament.

You're sweet, you're lovely. You go out of your way to make Mark happy so it was him all along. He's the problem and karma is finally making him pay the price.

Jaehyun understood it was his fault for being careless and using pet names but can one blame him when he was worried? Someone has to if not the one who bowed to do so. Even when he’s gone from eye sight, Jaehyun’s efforts are felt through Johnny who knocks on the door. Mark opens it slightly, Johnny standing before him with a glass of water and baking soda. Telling him about how Jaehyun sent him before leaving; for you to swish your mouth with this and drink some sparkling water to soothe your stomach ache.

Mark took it without a word, nodding at Johnny before shutting the door in his face as if this wasn’t his home. You were up on your feet by the time Mark turned around, lid closed as you flushed the toilet, reaching the sink to rinse your mouth before taking the glass from his hand. No words from either of you.

He looked at you through the mirror, arms crossed and factions softening upon noticing how tired and sick you looked. Gauntly, lips and eyes puffed out, and cheeks streaked. It was best to go home after that incident, only giving Johnny an apologetic goodbye while the rest of the guests paid no mind. On your end you were out of the apartment already, embarrassment laced on your face. 

And even through the car ride, all you could think about was Mark’s words and actions. Memories of Mark smugly telling his ex-best friend words Jaehyun spat at him flooded his vision, making it dangerous for him to be driving. To his side you grunted in discomfort, feeling as if vile was to rise from you again but he paid you no mind, made no effort to comfort you, more focused on his own feelings.

The look Hyuck had on his face eight years ago was the one Mark mirrors this night. One way or another one will pay for all their sins and you were his cross.

He didn’t talk to you for the remainder of the night. Didn’t care enough to question why you fell ill or how frightened you were about the possibility that this may be it, that this was his excuse to leave you behind.

The thoughts, his actions and words clouding your mind through your shower, skin care routine, and brushing your teeth. Spending minutes upon minutes doing the latter, disgusted by yourself. Brushing away all the vile you wanted to throw at him but instead ended down Johnny’s plumbing. For only Jaehyun to hear and understand.

Mark laid down on his side by the time you came out of the bathroom. You knew he was angry, his stiff body making no effort to move even when feeling the bed sink under your knees. He tried not to move when he felt your arms wrap around him seeking comfort in his warmth, but Mark wasn’t willing to give it to you. Without a care if he hurt you, which is what he did.

“Why don’t you love me anymore?”

Your words made his eyes open. Startled, his body hardens under your touch, almost like your upcoming tears were freezing him on the spot. Damp on his sleeping shirt but hot on his back. He turns abruptly, pushing back a bit in the process. “What are you even ta—”

“Why don’t you love me anymore?!” You cut him off, voice raising to something he’s never heard before. “You’ve been so distant. More than usual and I can’t take it anymore!” Your palms cover your eyes, pushing back tears, forbidding you to look at that mocking grin on his face as he shakes his head in disbelief. 

You’re the one who grows distant when I beckon you near.

His voice on the other hand makes sure you know how he feels. “You think so? I think this is the closest I’ve been to you.” He chuckles, taking into account that look of confusion on your face as you put down your hands, resting them on your lap. “Why don’t you tell me anything, Y/n? You tell Jungwoo everything. You ask Jaehyun to do everything for you. I’m your husband, why don't you don’t you trust me enough?” 

Your confusion falls, disgust and anger replace it. “When I ask anything out of you, you never want to nor know how to do it.” Your voice was hurt, head shaking a tad with every syllable, hate laced into each one. He hated how much your reaction resembled Jaehyun’s.

He doesn’t want to admit you’re right, “You ask the most absurd of favors.” He scoffs, sitting up to be face to face with you. “Are you fucking serious? You’re a grown man who can’t cook or clean for himself. Up until I saw you at the bakery I thought you didn’t know where it was but then I saw you with another girl there.” You huff, arms flailing like when you’re with Jungwoo. 

There would be some satisfaction in him to know your true self is here talking with him but bringing old news made him groan. “I thought you said it was fine and we’d drop it there.” He takes into account the glare you’re throwing him, smoke coming out of your ears the longer neither of you speak.

If he had known a few drinks would do this to you, he would have not let you drink. The thing is, Mark pays no mind to you to not notice you’ve drank mocktails all night. He was more worried about Jaehyun than you.

“It’s not fine when you’re with some other girl to a place you keep avoiding when I ask you to go. Is it because of her? Is she the one taking my place now?” Your voice came out choppy, acheful, with the question, inhaling and exhaling to calm yourself down.

He on the other hand doesn’t take it kindly, annoyed that you’d think about him that way but that's what he’s been thinking about you, so what difference does it make? It would not be his first rodeo, so are you that insane to think of him like that?

I’ll betray you like a man.

Mark stands from the bed, crouching to eye-level with you as if you were a child he’s lecturing. “It’s not because of her, I don’t give a fuck about her! I barely know her, she is just an intern, and hasn't been there for a month now! We were sent by my boss!” His fingers poke his temple, in a form to tell you to get it through your head.

“But I’m right? You don’t love me anymore.”

Mark stands up straight in disbelief with your words despite none defending his case coming from his own mouth. He could see how your heart was crushing with every passing second.

The truth is hiding in your eyes and it’s hanging on your tongue. Just boiling in my blood. 

“All this time I thought you were calm… level headed— but you're the opposite... you don’t talk to me, you tell Jaehyun and Jungwoo everything. Why can’t you tell me everything? Why can't you need and trust me?” His voice softens, calming down.

“Because you don’t ever want to listen to me! I can’t need you when you do everything in your power for me not to!” Truth is, he did know how to clean and cook for himself, he's done it before but he's grown selfish and dependent.

Your outburst left him speechless, all the sighs he had to give stuck and dispersed through every crevice of his interior, poisoning his flow. He knows you’re right but he doesn’t want to believe it.

“I give and give and give but I never receive! I love you so much, it's become so painful that I rather let it slide than be far from you.” You crawl closer to the edge of the bed, hoping to minimize the distance between you two. The feeling of proximity only seems to feel farther, leaving room for a blizzard to rest between you two.

Mark knows he’s not man enough, your coworker said it. He knows he doesn’t help or take care of you, Jaehyun and Jungwoo told him so. None of these men had to tell him for him to know he doesn’t deserve you. It just so happens to be that Mark is selfish and wasn’t able to process it until now. He swore he believed you through writing but now, with you telling him directly— reality is forcing itself upon him.

“I think we should take a break.”

Selfish, selfish, selfish.

“What?” You ask confused and startled, looking up at him with fury in your eyes. “What? Don’t be fucking stupid. We’re married and we’ll stay this way! It's not as easy as you let out, asshole.” You sniffle, getting off the bed now, approaching him despite the gap he’s formed between you two. In all senses. 

“You’re just not who I fell in love with anymore.”

You wanted to rip his hair out, claw his skin and inject your pain and love into him so he could understand what you felt. You knew he was selfish but how fucking stupid could he be? 

“You’re so— you’re no fucking better than anyone else. You fell in love with the idea you made of me. Whatever the fuck that is! Any chance you get to see the real me you shut me down, Mark! Why can’t you just love me?! Not the stupid girl you thought I was.”

Your cries stopped, hands taking purchase on his arms, squeezing tighter with the adrenaline of wrath coursing through your veins. You were tired, tired of his foolishness and in times like these, you weren’t going to let him ruin what you’ve built.

“You fell in love with an idealized version of me too, if you’re still this in love.” Mark gulps, making no effort to move but his eyes felt heavy and tired. Hurt even, not sure if for himself or for you, empathy winning for once. Pity sounds better.

You think that I can’t see what kind of man that you are. If you’re man at all.

“I see you for who you fucking are. You’re selfish, you don’t want to do things for others unless you’re getting something out of it. You weaponize your incompetence for me to do things for you. You’re insecure especially with other men around me because you think of yourself exactly the opposite as them unless they’re more pathetic compared to you.” Your finger poked his chest, reminiscing on how he began berating Jaehyun.

“You’re especially jealous of your friends because they offer more for me than you do and that’s your fault.  You project your insecurities and mistakes onto them and me because you’re a bad friend, husband, and ultimately a bad person. Yet I’m still with you because I love you— even with everything you put me through and how you can’t help but compare me to— to her! Get over it and through your head, that was loneliness and you were the easiest victim. No one leaves their husband for someone they don't love.”

Like the pathetic man he was, he broke down. No amount of swallowing and gulping down the knot in his throat would go away. Tears streamed down his cheeks upon hearing you project onto the world what you had whispered to the toilet bowl earlier. Mark wasn’t aware that you knew about Hyuck and her but he wouldn’t doubt if you had come across letters from them both in the past just like he came across your journals. 

Having you voice what he had been thinking about since that experience caused his world to finally see true color, despite you being purposely vicious. He knew what that fling meant for her, for Hyuck, and for him. It just so happens that it meant more for him and here he was taking it out on the only person who has stuck by his side.

You loved him but you also hated him and that was more than clear to him now.

“Better reason for us to take a break. You deserve better… I’m sorry I’m the one you love. No one will ever love me like you again.” He sighs, sniffling, throwing his head back to not let any more tears shed. 

“I don’t care. If I go without you I’ll—I…” you clinging your nails to his shoulders trying to cut off your words. You knew what you wanted to say wasn’t healthy, not for you and not for him. Mark knows this, weeks of reading your entries allowing him to understand what goes within the walls of your brain. 

"Y/n please stop... you’re hurting me." It doesn't change the fact that feeling it was worse than reading it. “Then you’re a coward who would die within an hour in my shoes if I treated you the way you treat me.” You sternly and ferociously spit. He wails before doing the only thing he knew would calm you down. 

Leaning in, he kisses you, meekly. Pouring in the love he once had for you and the remaining he has now. But your body rejects it, feeling how phony it is. Pushing him off, running to the restroom to repeat the happenings of earlier. Mark sighs in relief to have you not corner him but in this instance concern floods him.

He follows you to the bathroom, standing by the door frame with crossed arms. Watching you hold your hair like Jaehyun had done earlier. Tears back in your eyes as you continue to lash out your rage against the white porcelain that's witnessed this on other occasions. Although this was one that should symbolize happiness, yet it’s clear you both won’t take it as such.

Mark took a look at his watch, 11:28PM. “Come on, get your shoes. I’ll take you to urgent care, you probably just need some electrolytes.” He approaches you, aiming to help you up but you resist, shaking your head defeatedly. 

“I’m not drunk.” You let out through gritted teeth. “No?” He questions smugly, annoyed at your rejection. “They were mocktails. These are normal symptoms.” He gives you a quizzical look. “Look in the drawer, Nancy Drew.” You huff, mocking him for his detective work these past weeks. It was only natural he’d find out eventually if he kept meddling in your journals.

With furrowed eyes, and look remaining, Mark pulls at the white drawer, the cold metal burning his warm hand. He digs and digs through piles of papers. All bills or old letters neither of you cared enough for. Reaching the bottom Mark feels something solid wrapped around a newer piece of paper. In comparison to the yellowing pages, this was white and bright, tied with a rubber band around the solid material.

He throws you a quick glance while taking it into his hands, unraveling the rubber to open it and come to view with three sticks, all with matching two-pink stripes. Any ounce of hope to restart is gone with the weight in his hands. Disappearing when he read the paper.

‘Laboratory report Patient: Y/n Lee. Sampled collected: May 15, 2008. Report date: May 20, 2008 Status: Pregnant Gestational age: 5-8 weeks.’

Mark reads it over and over, finally having the courage to look at you. His eyes wide and dim, reflecting on your cold angry ones. This was it. It was his life. What you would have taken as a beautiful moment, you can now agree this seals your faith. The look you gave him mirroring his misery. At least now you both were on board for once, basking in the fact this was a deadend no matter what.

You both know nothing will get fixed, all there is left is to pretend for the life that’s growing within you. Wreckless as ever, and the cycle of life continues. An innocent life to suffer the trails of a failed relationship for years to follow. That’s all Mark knows, that’s all you know. Generational curses don't end with either of you.

if you liked happy together: it’s too bad you’re married… to me, you’ll enjoy: stupid girl !

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"There just is no way you can do it, no one can!" A groan escapes you as you fall back onto your mattress, throwing a pillow over your face to hide your half-embarrassed, half-distressed feelings written all over your face. It's awfully quiet for a moment, and to have a peek to what you assume is happening, you remove the pillow, immediately being greeted with your best friend's face hovering mere inches in front of your own, signed with that look – and therefore be proven correctly.

"I think I can." Soonyoung grins, leaning in closer. His knees rest on each side next to your hips on the mattress, his hands creating deep imprints beside your shoulders as he stares down at you. Involuntarily, your breath hitches. You find yourself staring into his eyes, switching from one to the other as your own widen in realization that – maybe – you're not as much against the idea as you initially suspected.

Soonyoung is commonly known to be absolutely competitive. If everyone was backing down from a challenge, Soonyoung would be the last man standing, facing the difficulties and tearing them apart like a cheese grater. It is something you do admire about him, well, under normal circumstances that do not include your... your body.

"And I think you're being a creep," you announce, pressing your pointer finger to his forehead to push him away. With a whine, he compliantly retracts, a pout forming on his lips, all while you feel like you can finally breathe again. With a scoot, you sit up against the headboard, switching between looking at your best friend and fighting your hardest battle of trying not to look at him. 

"Well, I think you're not giving me a chance," he states, criss-crossing his toned legs that you probably shouldn't gaze upon right now to stand your point, but how could you when they're practically begging for you to bite into their muscly flesh?

"Well, I think-" You're forcing your eyes to take in anything but his thighs – a quest hard enough to bring even the strongest soldier to their knees in defeat – "that would cross boundaries that can't be un-crossed."

The playful glint in his eyes disappears suddenly, leaving him to contort his brows in concern. "For real?"

"I mean, yeah?" Your shoulders tense up and your fingers begin fiddling with a loose string on your sock. "Look, the thing is that I'm fine. I don't need to- you know."

The look he sends you is unbelieving, doubtful, unconvinced.

"It was just a random fact I threw into this conversation, I didn't mean for you to jump on the opportunity," you reason, hands gesturing weirdly in front of your chest.

"Alright, my bad," he grins and you thank the universe for the one thing that characterizes your best friend more than his competitiveness: his naivety to believe every lie you tell. Because if he'd tried convincing you for a minute longer, you would've presumably given in. It's not like you don't want to, it's not like the voice between your legs hasn't yearned for Soonyoung's touch once or twice or thrice or more in the past years of being friends. It's just that- how does one move on from that?

"Great!"

"I mean it's your choice if you don't want to cum." Soonyoung shrugs, eyebrows risen with a sly smile on his face as he turns his head, then side-eyes you.

"Exactly." You grin fakely.

"I mean, not to brag, but the feeling is pretty great."

"I know. I can do it myself."

"Sure, but" he sighs dreamily "it's different through the hands of another person."

"Weren't we going to play Mario Kart?" You ask through gritted teeth, trying to change the topic away from your sex-life. Soonyoung might be great at a lot of things, most things even, but how can you be sure he's good at this too? How does one move on from that – okay, maybe that’s somehow possible… but how does one move on from that failing miserably?

"Oh, of course," Soonyoung scoots to sit down next to you and presses a controller into your hands. You would like to say the cool material eases the sweaty feeling of your palms, but it actually intensifies, highlights the feeling, and you try your best to ignore how it threatens to glide from your wet digits every passing second. Not long after, the game starts with Soonyoung immediately taking first place. You try to concentrate, mood dropping when you have to, once again, realize that he is pretty much unbeatable. Saltily, you side-eye him, only to see a smug grin on his face. "What can I say, I'm pretty good with my hands."

"Oh, for God's sake!" You throw the controller down, crossing your arms over your chest and watch Soonyoung win the game just seconds later. Slowly, he turns his head towards you, grinning evilly.

"What?"

"Nothing," he smiles sweetly and you huff, then get ready for the next round which goes by just as quickly as the first, and with the same outcome. Annoyed, you throw the controller across the bed only for it to bounce off the edge and hit the floor with a thump. 

"You seem pretty tense, maybe I should help you relax," Soonyoung grins, and you wish upon the Gods to either let the ground swallow you whole or to give you a way to wipe his awful smugness off his handsome features.

Maybe you could punch him. It would most certainly shut him up, but you're not a violent person. You like peace, you like the pigeons, and punching him would only result in the same outcome of a ruined friendship, but without the fun.

Maybe you could kiss him. It would also ruin the friendship, but at least you get half the fun. 

Maybe you should just go for broke.

"Okay," you simply say. Judging by the look that takes over Soonyoung's face, he is definitely surprised, but not opposed. He blinks, bottom lip pushing forward in disbelief.

"What?"

"Do it," you demand, grabbing the remote to turn of the TV (the Mario Kart Theme Song is not the ideal background music for getting intimate with your best friend, you decide) and lay down on your back. With a swift motion, you lose your pants, kicking them off your legs and down the bed to pool in a little jean-mountain next to the controller you'd sent off earlier.

Soonyoung looks like he's been petrified while looking at a pot of freshly made budae jiggae. It takes him another split of a second to collect himself before he comes crawling over to you. "Are you sure?" 

"I'm sure that if you don't do something right now I will kick you out and keep your switch," you answer blandly and, in the same breath, wonder when all of your uncertainty turned into passive-aggressiveness and impatience. 

"I didn't pressure you into this, right?" Soonyoung's stare into your eyes is so intense that a part of you melts, but a different part of you wants to show him, to prove him wrong. There is no one who's ever been patient enough with you to make you finish, so maybe it's your poor choice of men, maybe it's your body, maybe it's something else entirely. Of course it bothered you at first, but you've come to terms with it. That was until today. There is just no way that he can bring you an orgasm. It cannot be that simple.

"I swear to God-"

"Can I kiss you?" Soonyoung's voice sounds so soft, uncharacteristically soft. He's appeared besides you, finally settled in laying on his side, slightly towering over your form. The scent of his cologne meets your nostrils as you dare to look up at him, a dark gaze set upon his eyes that makes you gulp, throat drying up with the thought of what's to come.

"Just do whatever you need to-" You don't even get to finish before his soft lips press against yours. He slips his hand beneath your chin to lift it up the slightest bit for better access. His mouth moves gently against your own, obnoxious sounds of lips parting and connecting again litters the quiet room. Sounds that would usually make you gag upon hearing them, but something about it being him makes it okay, makes you not even realize. 

It's then when you notice his hand leaving your chin, trusting the way your lips move against his own that you will not pull away without the support. He traces your form, hand stroking over your sides to come to a quick halt at your hips. You gasp as he moves it up again to gently trace the outlines of your breasts through your shirt. 

Tingling sensations of want spray through your body like a miniature firework. Soonyoung knows how to touch you, even though he never has, not like that, and when his thumb brushes over your clothed nipple, you gasp against his lips.

You just know he's going to be smug about it, you're not even surprised when you feel him smirk against your lips before resuming to kiss you deeply, adding a little tongue to lick over your lower lip, not yet begging for entry.

His hand leaves your breast, and you feel a little disappointed until you realize he pushes your shirt upwards to create real, skin-on-skin contact with your nipple again. You'd be surprised at how easy it was for you to let yourself go for him, to let him in, to let him explore, if you could concentrate on anything but the way his self-declared skillful fingers are making you feel right now. 

With your shirt pushed further up to reveal your body to his eyes, his lips leave yours to attach to a nipple instead, sensually licking and sucking on the bud to leave you back-arched and hungry for more. You voice your wish, and Soonyoung, not without a chuckle, lets go of your breasts to kiss you once again. 

His hand leaves your chest to travel south, tickling the sensitive skin of your stomach briefly before exploring the sensitivity of your thighs. He traces soft patterns on the supple flesh, riling you up even more before finally attending to your clothed core. 

At the first touch, your eyes roll back behind closed lids, hips bucking into his touch as if having a mind of their own. You know he can feel how your wetness drenched the flimsy material of your panties, and when he finally reaches inside, you feel much less like needing to prove a point. To say his fingers feel good would be an understatement, you would even dare say that you've never had someone else’s touch feel this good.

Soonyoung glides a finger through your folds, collecting enough of your wetness to spread upwards over your clit, then begins circling it. The action makes you clench around nothing. He knows just how to touch you, and you start to believe that he might actually be able to make it happen.

His motions, speed and pressure intensify over time, making you grasp the sheets to keep yourself from thrashing around. At this point, you don't even realize the sounds you're making, nor the volume of them, only spurring Soonyoung on to keep touching you just like that. 

Pressure begins building. Your heart skips a beat, then hammers away at twice its original pace to make up for it. The familiar knot in your stomach keeps forming, you cry out, hands, touching everywhere at once to find the closure of knowing what to do with yourself, finding refugee on Soonyoung's shirt. Your lips are no longer connected, instead your forehead rests pressed against his, allowing your panting breath to tickle his lips.

It's happening, it's going to happen-

It’s… it’s gone.

As slowly as it came, it ended abruptly. It still feels good, everything feels so, so good. You feel yourself being on fire, every part of you yearns to feel Soonyoung, more of Soonyoung and Soonyoung everywhere. It's just not enough.

Whether he felt your build up and crashing or not, he does not seem to be ready to give up just yet, instead reaching down to insert a finger into your waiting hole, then another. His movements are neat, concentrated on making you see stars with the way he drags along your walls, pads of his fingers pressing upward to massage into your spot just right.

It builds, it builds, and it's gone.

Reading your signs, Soonyoung moves to lie between your legs. The absolutely drenched material of your panties meets the floor moments later before Soonyoung dives in, lips and tongue connecting to form a firework of sensations between your legs. But it's just not enough, you realize, and you feel like crying. It can't be, he is doing everything right, better than right, so why isn't it working?

"S-Soonyoung-" you bring out. "It's not- it's not working."

"Are you sure? I mean, I could-"

"I can't. It's not going to happen."

"Just let go-"

"I can't!"

"Please-"

"Just let it go!"

It's not awkward, it just feels a little weird. None of you had realized just how much time Soonyoung spent between your thighs, and the reality came crashing down on you as you looked at your phone to overcome the awkward silence, showing numbers that indicated that Soonyoung's last bus was gone for good and there was no way for him to get home.

Hence, the two of you stare holes into the darkness lying next to each other on your bed about half an hour later. 

"I'm sorry I couldn't-" Soonyoung whispers into the quiet room.

"That's why I told you, it's impossible," you whine, hiding your face in your hands even though he can't see you anyway. 

"Was it... just not good in general?" The uncertainty in Soonyoung's voice is uncharacteristic for him, voice usually overflowing with confidence to a point where it's almost unbearably annoying sometimes. It makes your heart ache.

"No, you were not the problem. You did... everything right, to be honest. I don't want to stroke your already massive ego too much, but I've never been touched like that," you admit, turning to your side to face where you assume him to be.

"Phew," he says, and you can hear the playfulness in his voice clearly. You roll your eyes, but crack a smile. Rustling noises coming from Soonyoung's side of the bed, paired with dipping motions of the mattress that let you guess that Soonyoung's turned to face you as well. Carefully, you reach out to touch him.

"That's my f-, I swear to God if your finger ends up in my nose, that's your problem- no wait, I'll turn on the light," Soonyoung says and follows his own words with actions, and you giggle, closing your eyes to shield them from the stinging brightness of your lamp and scooting your body closer to Soonyoung until you can feel the warmth radiating from his body not only on your hand, that's touching his chest. It's silent for a minute.

"It was really good..." you admit again, Soonyoung's scent reminding you of the happenings earlier, and maybe this is your subconsciousness telling you to try it again, but you're unaware of it.

"If I didn't know any better, I could swear you're trying to fuck me right now," Soonyoung laughs and earns slaps to his chest from you until he has enough and grabs your wrist. "For real though..."

"What?"

"Let's try it again- wait! Hear me out," he warns, and you shut your opening mouth in defeat. "Let's make it a competition, whoever cums first has to buy ice cream tomorrow."

"Ice cream?" You mumble, head spinning a little at his eagerness to try again. You can't believe that this is only his competitiveness speaking, yet you can only speculate the reason why he is so head over heels at the idea of being intimate with you again.

"Ice cream," he confirms, but the tone of his voice dropped in both deepness and volume. A tingling sensation washes over your body, causing your breath to come out shakily as you subconsciously press yourself closer to Soonyoung.

"But isn't ice cream like really cheap? Shouldn't we compete for something a little more... expensive?" You don't notice how your tone changed as well, making it sound like you're unintentionally purring your words.

"It's not about the ice cream, silly," Soonyoung tsks, making you look up at him once again by lifting your chin, "I just want you."

You whimper at that, and fortunately, Soonyoung is quick enough to pull you into another kiss before you can feel embarrassed about your shameless display of attraction. Quickly, the kiss gets heated, yet not hasty, no teeth clashing, no lips crashing, just raw desire and a little too much spit. It’s perfect.

Soonyoung’s hands find your waist, pulling you closer, before shamelessly reaching for the supple flesh of your ass, generously groping a cheek with his hand, making you whimper once again, uncoordinated hands tugging at his shirt, wanting it off, wanting to see the bulky richness of the body you know he’s sculpted to upmost perfection at the gym in the past years.

Following your desperate request, Soonyoung pulls the fabric over his head, he himself too affected to even act cocky about you wanting an opportunity to visually take in his beefy torso, instead panting softly as his intense gaze meets yours.

Though not for long, as yours immediately falls to his strong chest, muscles visibly bulging through his skin, and you can feel yourself gulping from drooling so much. Your nimble fingers quickly find their way onto his skin, softly exploring the wide expanse of muscle paradise as your lips find his again. 

Soonyoung softly grunts into your mouth as your fingertips briefly circle his assumably sensitive nipple, then softly pushes you onto your back to hover above you effortlessly, strong arms wrapping around your figure before pulling your shirt off as well.

The in between is a bit of a blur, every glimpse at Soonyoung's body enough to get your head spinning, every one of his touches feeling electric with how turned on you are, and soon, there's not a layer of clothing separating you. 

Soonyoung reaches down gently, spreading your folds with his fingers to find your wetness greeting him once again, insisting on preparing you for what's to come as he softly kisses along your neck.

This time, you feel, he's less determined, there's no goal in his mind, he genuinely wants to explore the depths of you, every little part he missed in his determination earlier. But that doesn't make it any less mind blowing.

“You’re so… perfect,” he mumbles into your neck, the sound almost getting lost in your gasps and soft moans as he stretches you with three of his digits. 

“Soonyoung…” you whimper needily, trembling hands running down his body, reaching their destination as you wrap a hand around his length. 

“Fuck, you’re big,” you gasp in mild surprise, unable to hold back the implied compliment, and the charged atmosphere briefly lightens as Soonyoung lets out a soft chuckle. 

“You want it?” He asks, and it’s not only a question of if, but also him trying to gauge if you're ready for him yet.

“Mm,” you hum in approval, hooded eyes hazily looking up at him as you wrap your legs around his waist, pulling him closer. Soonyoung lets out one last breathy chuckle before aligning himself with your entrance, intense gaze meeting yours as he carefully shifts forward, his tip briefly catching on your hole before sliding inside.

Your breath hitches at the stretch despite his preparations, yet you want more, you want all of him, all of Soonyoung as deeply as possible, and to never let him go. And he complies, slowly pushing deeper and deeper, every vein dragging deliciously along your walls that struggle to adjust to the intrusion.

With your eyes rolling back, you let out a soft groan, hands grabbing onto his bulging biceps for any form of stability as your head spins, his tip seeming to slide deeper endlessly, his cock filling you to the very brim before he finally bottoms out.

“Holy shit,” Soonyoung grunts softly, panting breaths leaving his parted lips, eyebrows scrunched in a mix of raw pleasure and trying to hold himself back from just pounding into you right now.

He takes a deep breath, grabbing onto your thigh to adjust it around his waist before stroking all the way over the flesh of your ass and up your waist where he rests his hand to hold you in place as he pulls back slightly, then thrusts experimentally.

A whine escapes your parted lips, fireworks going off behind closed lids, the butterflies in your stomach going crazy at the feeling combined with the mere reality of this situation. Soonyoung’s inside you, reaching depths that you’d naively describe as uncharted territory, and, God, he feels heavenly. And your body seems to agree, clenching automatically as if not wanting to ever let him pull out entirely again.

Soonyoung gasps, then buries his face in your neck again, lips attaching to your skin, peppering open mouthed kisses everywhere he can reach as he repeats his thrust before setting a slow yet steady pace.

Moans tumble from your mouth uncontrollably, the bet about ice cream long forgotten, as well as your uncertainty about whether you can even cum from someone else's touch. 

And Soonyoung takes you for hours, pushing your legs and body into every possible position one could think of, whispering sweet yet dirty nothings into your ear for only you to hear, and gifting you the best night of your life. 

By the time he announces that he's close, he’s a panting mess, a layer of sweat covering his muscular body while the wetness between your legs has increased to a point where it's almost too slippers, and yet all you feel is pure bliss.

“Cum in me,” you gasp breathlessly, your legs feeling like jelly at this point, “it’s fine… cum in me…”

With his last remaining strength, Soonyoung’s head snaps up, a look of pure astonishment on his face, “for real?”

“Y-yeah.. yeah, I’m-,” you interrupt yourself with a moan as Soonyoung’s thrusts pick up, “yeah..”

“Oh my God..” Soonyoung’s moans get whinier, a tad higher in pitch as he gets closer and closer. He’s managed to manhandle you back into your original position with you on your back, and his hands grip onto your waist to be able to piston his hips into you faster, his face buried in your neck as he grunts in pleasure, “oh, fuck, thank you…”

His thrusts get sloppier, almost losing their rhythm and all you can focus on is how his body slowly tenses up more and more, the veins on his strong forearms bulging as he moans your name into your neck needily. “Fuck, I’m gonna cum…”

Just as you open your mouth to encourage him once again, he picks up his pace yet again, pounding his hips into yours with such force and speed that it makes the bed crash against the wall repeatedly. It takes you by surprise, your back arching and your jaw dropping at the sudden overwhelming sensation, your nails digging into the skin of Soonyoung’s wide shoulders.

He pushes into you harder and harder, as if losing himself completely, his moans growing louder and louder, maybe a bit too loud for the time of night, but neither of you care, merely focused on the pleasure you’re both feeling. 

Soonyoung bottoms out again, once, twice, before pushing in impossibly deep, and you can physically feel the exact moment he orgasms, his length pulsating wildly and a warm sensation filling you, and that’s when it happens. 

With a soft, tired whine, you feel the knot in your stomach, that you didn’t even notice was forming, snap, your own walls clamping down around Soonyoung repeatedly, albeit rather softly and not as intense as Soonyoung’s high. It takes you a moment to realize.

Your eyes widen. Was that…? The same moment, Soonyoung’s head snaps up, his eyes as wide as your own. Oh, he felt it.

“Did you…?” He whispers, as if afraid that if he talked too loudly, it would turn back time and undo your orgasm.

With parted lips, you stare back at him, “I… y-yeah…”

You expected everything from a cocky remark over an ick-triggering victory dance to an actual orgasm-celebration party featuring everyone Soonyoung’s known since birth, but Soonyoung just leans back down and hugs you tightly. “Are you feeling okay?”

“Yeah,” you whisper back. Hesitantly due to your surprise, you slowly brush your fingers through his hair, suddenly deeply in thought.

Soonyoung actually made you cum? And it was… that easy? Well, despite the fact that it took literal hours… and why did it happen when he- and generally, what now?

“Can I take you out on a date after getting you ice cream?” Soonyoung suddenly speaks up, too exhausted to lift his head once more so his voice gets muffled in your neck.

“Huh?” You ask, sure you must’ve misheard him.

“Date…” is all Soonyoung can mumble.

“You-,” you begin, but quickly shut up. Why not? “Yeah, why not?”

“Fabulous,” Soonyoung mumbles, then presses a wet kiss to your shoulder. A few minutes pass by before he speaks up again. “I’m feeling sticky. Are you feeling sticky? Let’s shower…” he lifts his head, then slowly begins grinning. “We can reminisce about this experience in there…”

Ah, there he is. 

You and Mark had been dating for about a year, and your relationship was based on mutual respect and affection. You enjoyed spending time with him, and the two of you enjoyed each other's company, but when it came to physical intimacy, you had always taken things slowly. Despite your mutual desire, you had never gone beyond making out.

As the week drew to a close, you and Mark decided to stick to your weekly routine of spending a quiet evening at home watching a movie. This was something the two of you had been doing for a while now, and it had become a comforting tradition. Mark poured a glass of red wine for you both and settled in beside you on the couch, his arm draped casually over your shoulder.

Yet your attraction to each other becomes too intense to ignore. You felt Mark's hand slip down to rest on your thigh while a particularly passionate scenario played out on the television. As the film went, his proximity became increasingly distracting, and you could feel his warmth and smell his perfume, driving you insane. You adjusted in your seat, attempting to find a more comfortable position, but your body appeared to have its own mind.

You shuddered with anticipation, and Mark seemed to take note and sense your discomfort. Abruptly, he turned to you and stroked a strand of hair away from your face, his expression concerned.

"Are you okay?" he enquired, gazing at you with worry.

You tried to keep your voice calm as you nodded. "I'm alright; I'm just a little warm."

Mark took your hand in his and squeezed it reassuringly before recommending that you both take a break. You both rose up to stretch your legs, and as you stood by the window, you felt Mark's hand slip into yours. You had a dreamy expression on your face as he touched your face, making your heart skip a beat.

His lips immediately pressed against yours, and you felt a rush of excitement as his tongue pushed beyond your lips to explore your mouth. As he brought you back to the sofa, you murmured into the kiss, reaching up to tangle your fingers in his hair.

Mark let out a low moan as the two of you kissed fiercely, and you could feel his erection pressing against your heat. You couldn't help but feel a surge of excitement and want at the understanding of  how turned on he was.

Your heavy breathing made it evident that both of you needed time to collect your breaths. You drew back, your cheeks flushed red with shame and longing, his eyes blazing with desire as he glanced in your flushed face and heaving chest. "You're so lovely," he said softly, his voice husky with need.

You sighed gently into his lips as his erection feels rock hard against you, knowing that you wanted to explore this urge further. You grind down in his legs as your palm moves down to his crotch, following the contour of his firm length through his jeans, with a sudden surge of boldness.

But just as you were ready to take things to the next level, Mark grabs your hand and gives you a hesitant look.

"Are you sure about this?" he questioned, his voice trembling. "I don't want to put any pressure on you."

You smiled at him, feeling a surge of admiration for him as a caring and affectionate guy. "I've never been more certain," you tell him with confidence. "I want this and I want you, Mark."

Mark's face softened at your remark, and he moved in for another kiss, his hands roaming your body with newfound intensity, his hands moved to the hem of your shirt, and then he pushed it up over your head, revealing your lace bra to the chilly air.

You gently gasped at the abrupt exposure, a surge of heat coursing through your body. Mark grinned at you, his eyes twinkling with passion as he moved in to kiss your neck down to your collarbone before reaching your cleavage as he caressed your back.

Mark's fingers moved to the clasp of your bra while you kissed, and with a swift motion, he unhooked it, revealing your breasts to his eager gaze. You sighed quietly at the sensation, your nipples hardening beneath his touch, and instinctively you pulled away to cover your naked body with your hands.

"I want to see you," he murmured, his voice low and sensuous. "I want to know everything about you."

You flushed as a wave of embarrassment poured over you. "But... what if you don't like what you see?" you inquired, hesitantly.

Mark gave you a warm and comforting look. "Trust me, nothing about you isn't tremendously hot to me," he remarked, looking straight at you.

You let go of your inhibitions and allowed Mark to see you with a sudden rush of boldness.

Mark kissed your breasts, his tongue tracing circles over your sensitive nipples. You exclaimed in delight, a rush of need developing inside you as he proceeded to explore your body with his tongue and hands.

Mark quickly flips both of you into a lying position so that he could lay on top of you and explore your body more thoroughly.

As you lie there, completely vulnerable to Mark's touch, you realize that you have never felt so alive. Every movement of his fingers seems to ignite a fire within you, sending shivers down your spine and making your heart race. You feel as though you are floating, lost in a sea of pure pleasure.

Mark's confidence and desire for you were palpable, but you couldn't help but feel a sense of hesitation. It was all new to you, and you were starting to doubt  if you were ready to take things further.

Sensing your uncertainty, Mark paused and gazed at you with concern. "Are you all right?" he asked, his voice soft and gentle.

You took a deep breath, trying to steady yourself. "I really didn't expect this," you muttered, feeling vulnerable and exposed.

Mark's smile faded as he took in your words. "Hey, it's okay," he reassured you. "We don't have to do anything you're not comfortable with."

You felt a wave of relief wash over you, grateful for his understanding. Mark's willingness to take things slow and make sure you were comfortable put you at ease.

But deep down you know that your heart was already set on something wild and crazy, so you nodded as you mutter "I want to feel all of you," 

You couldn't help but gasp as Mark removed his shirt, revealing his toned chest and abs. His physique was a piece of art, and you couldn't help but get aroused when you were taken aback by the sight in front of you, which drove you to pull yourself up with your elbow.

He pushed you back into the couch with a smirk as his fingers began moving down your body, softly caressing your belly button.

As he continued his caresses, his fingers trailed lower, making you shiver with anticipation. You couldn't help but let out a small gasp as he finally reached the hem of your shorts and underwear. With a wicked grin on his face, he teased the elastic bands, tugging them down slowly, savoring the moment. 

"Let's see what you've got for me," he whispered huskily, his voice sending shivers down your spine. As he pulled your shorts and underwear down to your ankles, he trailed his fingers back up your legs, his touch leaving a trail of heat in its wake.

You arched your back as his fingers brushed over your most sensitive spot, sending waves of pleasure coursing through your body. His touch was electric, and you could feel yourself growing wetter by the second.

"Please," you whimpered, your voice barely audible as you begged for more. His smirk widened, clearly enjoying the effect he was having on you.

"Please what, baby?" he asked, his voice laced with amusement. 

"Please touch me," you moaned, your need growing more intense with each passing moment.

He chuckled softly, his fingers going closer to your center. He softly kisses your before inserting his fingers inside you, sending a surge of ecstasy through your body that left you gasping for air.

"Oh, god," you moaned, your hips arching up to meet his hand. "Don't stop."

Mark continues to touch you with a steady, leisurely pace, traveling up and down your body. His touch is confident and controlled, and you can feel yourself turning aroused with each passing instant.

"Does it feel good?" he inquires, his voice low and seductive, as if taunting you.

You nod again, biting your lip as you try to hold back your moans. Mark's touch is driving you wild, and you can feel yourself getting closer and closer to the edge.

He inserts another finger, and the stretch stirs something inside you. "Mark, that feels so nice," you say as you attempt to extend your legs more, and to your joy, he slides his fingers quicker.

"My baby likes it, huh?" he asks in a sensual tone you've never heard before but is eager to hear more of in the future. "You're fucking wet," he adds as he sucks in your clit.

As he continues to work his fingers inside you, you feel yourself getting closer and closer to the edge. Your body tenses, and you can feel the familiar sensation building deep within you.

Just as you are about to reach the peak, Mark pulls away, leaving you gasping and wanting more. You look up at him, your eyes pleading for him to continue, but he simply smiles and says, "Not yet, baby. We have all night."

You feel a sense of disappointment wash over you, but you know that he wants to savor the moment with you.

He removes his boxers, showing his naked manhood to you. A wave of desire washed over you as you gasped at the sight. In your fucked state, you notice how thick and large he is, slowly wondering whether he could fit inside of you. As if he sensed you were thinking about him, he stared at you and softly pumped his shaft.

There were beads of pre-cum leaking and you couldn't resist the need to lick it down, so you rise up and give him kitten licks, making him moan in a deep seductive tone, but he pulls you away.

"Next time babe" he says while smoothing your face "I just so badly want to be inside you right now" he peered at your sparkling orbs as he pecked your forehead.

"Do we need a condom?"

You hesitated for a time, taken aback by the inquiry. You'd never had this talk before, and you didn't know what to say.

"I, um, I think so," you said, your tone unsure.

Your boyfriend grinned and went to your shared room to grab a condom; when he returned, he kneels before as he gently unwrapped the foil. When he put it on, he reassured you that he wanted to ensure your safety and comfort throughout your personal encounter together.

He kneels in front of you, his hands softly caressing your thighs as he positions himself between your legs, as he enters you, you moan loudly, lost in the sensation of him filling you completely.

He looks up at you and whispers, "You're so beautiful, my love."

Mark stays in a steady position to help you adjust but you continuously clenching and unclenching is making it hard for him to do so that’s why he grabs your thighs harder “Y/N, stop it or I might lose my cool” he warns you.

"I'm sorry, I can't help it," you say, but you kind of love Mark's internal battle in front of you, which is why you clench on purpose this time, earning yourself a quick movement from Mark, you gasped at the abrupt intrusion, feeling a burst of warmth and wetness. 

"Baby, I warned you not to tempt me," he says as he rocks into you again, this time producing a steady rhythm to feel you tenderly before pulling entirely out of you, leaving you gasping for air, before thrusting back inside you sharply, filling you once more.

His warm tongue reaches for your breast and lightly nibbles and sucks it as his hands knead your other breast, ensuring that they both get the attention they deserve, sending electric sensations of desire through your body.

You tighten your pussy around his invading shaft, feeling the need to cum growing stronger by the minute, you wrap your legs around his waist, urging him on as he takes you higher and higher.

“Fuck me hard, baby” you say to him as you grab his arms and push your hips into his.

“I love you, Y/N” you tell him as you grab his face as you try to kiss his lips.

The sensation is too fantastic; Mark obviously understands how to please you from all sides, which is why you get the feeling you had a while ago again.

You break the kiss to moan his name as your nipples tighten and your clit starts to swell. 

"Awwww, my sweet baby is cumming? " He tactfully encourages you to pull out your orgasm "Fucked baby too nice that she can't even respond? " He slaps your face, not in a horrible way, but it feels so dirty that you clench around him again.

He grabs your face and makes you open your mouth, spits in it, then swirls his fingers inside you, forcing you to gag, and then rubs your swollen clit.

"I'm going to cu cu mmm," you moan as you warn him, and when you can no longer hold back, you scream in pleasure as you come undone.

He chases his high, taking you further and deeper till your insides open up, refusing to stop even when you urge him to slow down since you just orgasmed. As a result, you soon feel a warm liquid pour between your legs, indicating that you have squirted making Mark empty himself up in the condom.

When he pulls out of you, you're left with a delightful sensation, the nicest sensation you've ever had in your whole life.

Mark rests his face against your chest after the hard and passionate lovemaking session, and you can feel the beads of perspiration building in his forehead, and you can't help but caress his hair as you bask in the afterglow of your shared joy. You were panting as well as absolutely delighted and joyful.

"I love you," Mark whispered softly, his breath warm against your skin.

"I love you too," you replied, feeling content and fulfilled.

Eventually, Mark lifted his head and looked into your eyes, a soft smile on his lips. "You're so beautiful," he said, his voice filled with admiration.

You blushed, feeling a warm sensation spread through your body. "You're pretty amazing yourself," you replied, grinning at him.

Mark chuckled and leaned in to kiss you, his lips soft and tender against yours. It was a gentle kiss, filled with love and tenderness, and it left you feeling even more connected to him.

As Mark stood up from the couch, you watched him with a mix of curiosity and satisfaction. You knew he wouldn't just leave you there, and you wondered what he was up to. However, as he turned and walked towards the bathroom, you caught a glimpse of the condom he was carefully removing and disposing of.

A moment later, Mark returned to your side with a glass of water and a warm towel. "Here, drink some water," he said softly, holding the glass to your lips. You drank deeply, feeling the cool liquid soothe your parched throat.

He then gently wiped the visible cum between your legs off with the warm towel, making sure to be gentle and careful. You couldn't help but feel grateful for his attentiveness and care.

After, Mark tenderly picked you in his arms and carried you to bed, carefully setting you down under the covers.

You were utterly exhausted and ready to sleep. When you curled up against his chest, his arms wrapped protectively around you, and you closed your eyes, feeling perfectly safe and satisfied.

Just as you were about to fall asleep, you felt a hand brush against your hair, gently sliding through the strands in a calming pattern. You opened your eyes and glanced up at Mark, who was looking at you tenderly.

"Are you okay?" he inquired softly, his voice filled with concern.

You nodded and smiled, grateful for his attention. "I'm alright," you assured him.

Mark leaned in and kissed your temple gently before continuing to massage your hair in a steady, relaxing motion. "I just wanted to make sure you're okay," he explained.

You felt your heart swell with love for your boyfriend, knowing that he genuinely cared for you. You relaxed even more as he stroked your hair, feeling entirely at peace in his arms.

"Let's get some sleep, okay? You need to rest," Mark whispered in your ear after a few minutes.

You nodded drowsily, feeling grateful for the love and care that Mark showed you. As you drifted off to sleep, you felt his arms tighten around you, holding you close and safe throughout the night.

Your nice white shirt is now see-through, exposing your bra and your hair is curling up due to the rain. Jaehyun, being the chivalrous gentleman he is, takes your things out of your hands and helps you out of your shirt. He’s carefully undoing each button on your shirt and setting it to the side.

“I have to say, this reminds me of the first time we met,” he blurts out. Thinking about that day, you laugh. It was your first day at your new job and you were sitting at the bus stop. You packed a nice lunch and left your apartment two hours early to ensure you arrived on time. You were brimming with positive energy, excited about a new start until the clouds darkened, followed by rain. Unfortunately, you didn’t think to bring your umbrella and you were on the verge of a meltdown. But a handsome stranger was friendly enough to share his small umbrella with you, allowing his shoulder to get wet to protect you. “I’m Jaehyun,” he said smoothly, his deep dimple appearing as he spoke. You were so close to each other, sharing this umbrella underneath the pouring rain, no one else in sight but you and him. Too nervous to say anything, you held your breath until the bus arrived. You thanked him and took your seat, pretending to not notice him walking by. But as fate would have it, you both got off at the same stop and just happened to work at the same job in different departments. Eventually, you worked up the courage to thank him for that small gesture and after what felt like forever weeks later, he asked you out on a date. One date turned into several and now years later, you are both the head of your teams and getting married to each other. Life is funny that way. “I’m starting to think rain is our good luck sign,” you think out loud. “When we first met, it was raining. Then, when you proposed, it started as soon as I said yes. I wouldn’t mind if it rained at our wedding at this point.” “Well, as long as you are there, I don’t care what happens.” Jaehyun kisses you. “Just don’t let our parents hear that.” You playfully nudge his shoulder, his words ringing true. Your parents practically took over the wedding planning, wanting to include every little detail that brought both cultures together. Your mom took you to many bridal shops as soon as you made the call, the excuse being she wanted the dress to be tailored ahead of time. But, you know, deep down, it’s because she never got the wedding she wanted, with your dad dying before they could have a real wedding. So instead, they had a small courthouse wedding, with promises of having the big thing for their twentieth anniversary. But as life is strange, your dad died unexpectedly, leaving you both brokenhearted and you had to lean on each other. So you allowed her to take the helm of the planning, as it allowed you to spend time with each other and fulfill the wish she always wanted. “I’m going to run you a bath so you can warm up.” “Okay,” you nod. “Are you going to be joining me?” Jaehyun cocks his eyebrow, a mischievous grin on his face. “Is that an invitation?”

“Maybe.” You slowly take off your wet pants, standing in the hallway in your bra and panties. He winks at you and you roll your eyes playfully, watching him walk away. You survey the lovely single-story home with a gorgeous kitchen and cozy living room. Taking a peek at the bedrooms, you immediately fall in love with the master bedroom with a massive walk-in closet. You sneak by Jaehyun in the bathroom; you glance into the other rooms, heading to the backyard. The deck looks over the beach, a beautiful sight even with a thunderous roar and lightning. You’ve always wanted a house by the beach, even putting it on your manifestation mood board that you share together. You’ve had many late-night conversations with Jaehyun about the life you want together, your poor upbringing making you want better. He grew up middle class, but he still understands what it's like to struggle, working at a music company at night cleaning floors to put himself through college. Being able to share these things made you fall in love with him, aside from his silly humor and gentleness with you. He makes your heart flutter whenever he’s in the room, and it doesn’t take much to sweep you off your feet. You are excited to be able to feel this way forever. “Baby?” Jaehyun calls from the hallway. “The water is ready for you.” He comes from the hallway, his hands wet and soapy, watching you walk towards him. “You were just in the backyard without any clothes on?” “Uh, no,” you scoff. “I was just peeking outside. I wouldn’t do that without you.” You wink, his eyes burning into your back as you walk to the bathroom. Even though you have him hooked, you are too much of a tease for your own good. You take off your bra and panties, slowly stepping into the free-standing tub, your body emerging in the warm water. You are instantly relaxed, your eyes closed as you cock your head back. You hear Jaehyun shuffling around in the bedroom; you assume putting up your things for the short weekend you’ll be here. “I am going to order a pizza,” he announces, firmly shutting one of the drawers. “Okay, babe.” Jaehyun already knows what you like, a New York-style pizza with pepperoni, whereas he always gets a Hawaiian pizza. On your first date, he took you to a pizza place nearby work and you two debated about pineapples on pizza. You firmly believe warm fruit doesn’t go on your food, and he spent all night trying to change your mind. Obviously, he didn’t win, but you enjoyed watching him prove his point. You stay in the tub for a few more minutes before washing your body, scrubbing yourself vigorously before rinsing and draining the tub. You look at your hands, fingers starting to prune to your distaste. You pride yourself in keeping your skin smooth; anything less than that drives you up a wall. “Fuck, my hands look gross.” Grabbing the nearest towel around, you dry yourself and apply your favorite lotion all over your body. You start with your toes working your way up to your neck. You love how your body feels, the smooth vanilla smell blending perfectly with your mind, body, and soul. 

You don’t hear Jaehyun come back into the room, watching you as you indulge in self-care. His dick twitches in his sweats as he watches you bent over, your pretty pussy on display. He licks his lips, his mouth salivating at the thought of his tongue taking a long swipe at your juices. “Baby, get on the bed.” “Hmm?” you hum, not hearing him clearly. You feel his hands on your hips, motioning you to the bed on all fours. You weren’t sure where he was going with this until you felt his lips kissing your clit. You then understood very quickly. “You looked so sexy putting on your lotion,” Jaehyun groans. “I wonder how many times I can make you cum before the pizza man gets here?” His sinful tongue fucks you thoroughly, happily lapping your juices like a starved man. Every hum from his lips sent electric shocks in between your legs. You cling to the sheets, piercing them with your nails. Eating pussy is like an Olympic sport to him, and you lose your control every time, cursing his name as you slowly ride his tongue. “Yes, baby,” he coos. “Just like that.”

You’re a whimpering mess, agreeing with whatever Jaehyun says, his pretty mouth making you submit. Your release comes hot and quick, your legs shivering as he drinks up your sweet nectar. When he’s done and satisfied, he slowly gets up, his sweats already down around his knees with his hand on his pulsing cock. He slips inside of you from behind, your walls instantly tightening around his thick girth. “Fuck me, please,” you say through gritted teeth. “As you wish.” Jaehyun was always a good lover. His strokes start deep and slow, hitting your G-spot with each pump. It doesn’t take long before you are cumming again, your body shaking with adrenaline and begging him for more. He pulls you up, turns your face to him, and kisses you deeply. You didn’t think you could fall more in love with him, but he exceeded your expectations once again. His manly hands cup your breasts, playing with each nipple before suddenly pushing you back on the bed. “Third time’s the charm, baby girl.” He pins your hands behind your back, roughly fucking you into another orgasm, his release coming shortly after on your back. You collapse on the bed, hearing him leave the room and come back with a wet cloth, wiping you clean. Jaehyun takes pride in caring for you after you fuck. He’s so attentive, ensuring you’re relaxed and cleaning every part of your body. He insists on putting lotion on your body, first doing your neck and back and massaging you down to your legs. His strong hands put you at ease, your eyes getting heavier by the minute. DING DONG! “Ah, it looks like the pizza is here.” You sit up in a daze, still mind fucked and coming down from your high. You reluctantly grab a shirt, opting to put on his and walk down the hallway. He shuts the front door right as you reach the table, holding a big box of pizza and mozzarella sticks. “I know you love your sticks,” Jaehyun says nonchalantly. He kisses you on your forehead, setting you up with two slices of pizza and mozzarella sticks. You look around where you are sitting, imagining yourself in the kitchen cooking or sitting in the backyard reading a book. You could see yourself hosting dinner parties here and with kids, two little ones running around with chocolate-smeared faces. You don’t know where Jaehyun found this air bnb but you are happy he found it. “I like this house a lot,” you announce. “Maybe we could find something like this for us, ya know?” Jaehyun pauses, almost dropping the beer in his hands. “Oh yeah?” he clears his throat. “Does it check everything on your list?” “Yup! It sure does.” You talk about what you love about the house, holding on to the idea of starting a family and finally setting your roots down. He’s oddly quiet, nodding here and there while you both eat your food. Jaehyun is the silent, brooding type, but even being this quiet is unusual for him. You try not to notice it so much, changing the subject and putting the food up when you're both finished eating. He cleans the kitchen, telling you to sit and relax on the couch while he finishes up. “Do you want to watch a movie?” You call out. “Yeah, baby. Just put whatever on.” You flick through the channels, settling on a horror flick about a man in a white mask terrorizing a small town. You hear him start the dishwasher, and you anticipate for him to appear at any moment. You love to cuddle with him while you’re watching scary movies together, his side jokes making the films more enjoyable. You get into the movie, and almost half an hour goes by before you realize he’s no longer in the kitchen. You get up slowly, head towards the bedroom and hear his hushed voice through the shut door. “Yeah, there still is the paperwork to sign, and I already got my lawyer on it. I will talk to her about it tomorrow.” You inch closer to the door, taking extra care to avoid being heard by the creaking wood floor. “We leave Sunday afternoon. I will touch base with you tomorrow afternoon. Hopefully, she won’t kill me and call off the wedding.” You freeze, your blood running cold as he finishes up his call. You rake your mind, trying to think of what papers he could be talking about, when it hits you like a stake to your heart: he is talking about a prenup. You inch away quietly from the door, going back to the living like nothing ever happened. An ember burns inside of you, however, feeling hurt from being blindsided. You and Jaehyun already discussed a prenup, agreeing that you wouldn’t need one and it’s “less romantic” to have one. You came from nothing and he wasn’t sitting on a fortune himself, so it seemed like a no brainer. But hearing him just now has you tense, but you aren’t sure how to go about it without biting his head off. “Sorry about that, baby,” he appears from the hallway, taking a seat next to you on the couch. “I had a call I had to take.”

“Oh yeah? With who?” “Oh, just some business stuff for work.” You nod as he pulls you in closer, resuming the movie. You spend the rest of the night quiet, a million thoughts going through your mind on how he could lie to you and why.

Your mood wasn’t any better, picking at your seafood lunch at the local restaurant. Jaehyun woke you up to receiving head and breakfast in bed this morning, and you weren’t gonna turn that down no matter how pissed you were at him. He said he had a surprise waiting for you, starting off with taking you to the local state park and watching the dolphins in the sea. Dolphins are your favorite animal and he knows this, gifting you a silver pendant with a dolphin on it for your birthday. You wanted to be happy and enjoy the beautiful scene in front of you, but the feeling of betrayal chips away at your heart.

Sometimes you like to go into one of the rooms of the gym, when there’s no classes going on, to have more space and privacy and since you’re a regular the staff had no problem with it. So when Jaehyun didn’t see you on the shared space he know exactly where to find you.

“I thought you’d given up training.” You get up, wiping your sweat with a towel as he walks up to you in his plain black t-shirt and grey sport shorts.

“Oh, come on, I’m only like ten minutes late.” Rolling his eyes he grabs a mattress and places it next to yours.

“Ten minutes? More like half an hour.” You chuckle as he glares at you.

Over time you became close enough to bicker and tease each other like this all the time. There was no denying you felt incredibly attracted to him but you couldn’t tell if he felt the same or was just being nice like he was to everybody else.

“Did you miss me that much? Don’t worry, I wouldn’t ghost you like that.” He winks as he does his stretching, making you shake your head with a grin. “So, what are we doing today?”

“Core.” You wiggle your brows.

“Oh great.” He pretends to be excited before letting his body fall into the mattress.

“Don’t be a pussy. You gotta work on those abs!” Playfully you slap his stomach but instantly regret feeling how rock solid he already his through his shirt.

“Oh no, you injured me! Guess I can’t do it no more!” He fake groans on the floor. “I need some mouth resuscitation, quick!”

“You wish!” You laugh to mask how much you’d love to do exactly that. “Come on, time to start a new set.”

“Ugh, ok lets go.”

This is a familiar set you two already know by heart. Starting off with sit ups, then some flutter kicks, followed by mountain climbers, traditional hip thrusts and some crunches, ending with a minute plank. As usual, you go through 5 sets, even if you had already done one, hyping up each other while your bodies grow sore and glistening with sweat, the temperature of the room rising.

As much as you’re used to working out with Jaehyun, you don’t think you’ll ever stop sneaking glances at the way his muscles tense up and how he bites his bottom lip to focus on controlling them. You’re pretty sure your body heat is not only from the exercises but the burning desire of feeling his warm skin against yours. It doesn’t help that the core set is just so… Sensual.

What you didn’t know is that he did the exact same thing. From the corner of his eye he observes every inch of your body, how you manage to be all sweaty and still remain so sexy. How he wish he could feel those hips thrusts against his-

“Jaehyun!” You pull him out of his transe. “Plank!”

“Oh, right!” He quickly switches positions to keep up.

“Come on, this is the last set.” You try to encourage both of you on finishing it.

“Why does a minute in plank feel like three hours?” Groaning he tries hard to hold his position.

“3, 2, 1… Done!” The timer goes off and you two let your bodies fall to each mattress, panting.

“Finally!” Jaehyun cheers turning his body around and you do the same.

Smiling as you stare at the ceiling, you take long breathes to bring your heart rate down. When you look the side you see him turning his face to you too. For a few seconds you lay there looking at each other, chest heaving up and down. There has always been some sexual tension between you two, even if none admitted it, but today it just felt particularly strong. That’s why in no time your lips were pressing against each other as your bodies entangled into one.

His hands roam on your sides as you pull his shirt over his head, throwing it somewhere around the room. The kiss is desperate and intense letting you know how much he’s been thinking about this too. With him on top of you on the thin mattress, your shirt comes off as well, but your sports bra is too tight and sticky so he gives up and leaves it on.

When his hand cups your core, the fabric sticks to it but you know it’s not sweat, it’s your burning desire to feel more. Your tights leggings struggle to slide down your legs, but this time he’s not giving up that easily, taking your shoes with them. His lips then travel down your neck, tasting your salty hot skin. Wet kisses are left between your breasts, on your stomach, down to your still covered pussy.

By now you’re both too needy to get any more naked so he simply slides your panties to the side to slide his fingers between your folds, making you moan as your hand makes its way inside his underwear to stroke his hard dick. His long slender fingers slide so easily inside you, the nasty noises as he pumps them in and out driving you insane.

“Fuck me, Jaehyun.” You groan against his lips.

“You don’t have to ask me twice.”

With a smirk he removes your hand from his member, pushing his shorts and briefs down his hips and letting out the beast. You yelp when your legs are pushed apart and he positions himself between them.

“Shit, I don’t have a condom…” He sighs right before he was about to align himself with your entrance.

“That’s ok, I’m on the pill. And you can pull out.” You desperately suggest, there’s no way you’re losing this opportunity.

“You sure?” He confirms.

“Please, Jaehyun…” You beg pulling his hips down on yours.

Without wasting any more time, he pumps up his dick a few times and rubs it between your slick folds before finally sliding it inside you. You bite your lips at the satisfying stretch, digging your nails into his shoulder. After adjusting, his hips start moving against yours, quickly increasing the speed of his thrusts in despair.

Your legs instantly wrap around his waist, pulling him as closer as you can so he can hit as deep as he can. You’ve dreamt about this moment for so long, but your fantasies can’t come close to how it really feels to have all of him in you, as his mouth leaves beautiful marks all over your neck.

After a while he turns you around with his strong arms, lifting your hips so you’re resting on your knees as your face is pushed down. When he enters you again, the angle making it hit differently, has you grasping on the mattress.

With a tight grip on your hips, he moves just at the right pace to start building that sweet feeling deep inside of you. You’re not one to cum easily but damn, you’ve been waiting for this moment for what feel like a life time and damn, he’s doing such a great job.

Lifting your head you’re graced with a beautiful vision: the huge mirror on the wall in front of you showcasing his shirtless sculptured figure right behind your sinful position. You notice the way he bites his lip just like he does when lifting weights, and it drives you crazy. Soon his eyes find the reflexion of yours making the corner of his lip curl up in a devilish smut.

Suddenly your upper body his lifted against his, leaving you on full display in the mirror, his movements in and out of you never stopping. One of his hands travels down your stomach before his index and middle fingers start circling your clit increasing your pleasure. His coordination is unbelievable, much like his self control, because you could sweat he was holding his orgasm in just to make this moment last a little longer.

“Cum with me.” He whispers against your ear as you both watch your bodies moving in sync.

With one last groan you do as you’re told, like a good girl, almost crumbling down if his grip around your waist wasn’t that tight. Watching you fall apart in front of him triggers his own high but he manages to pull out, like a good boy, white strings of cum flying into the mattress.

For a few seconds you stay just like that, kneeling in each others arms as you regain your breath and let your heart rate get back to normal.

“Guess we don’t need cardio today.” Jaehyun jokes as you two start to get dressed.

“Don’t think the staff will love our alternative for the treadmill though.” Chuckling, you grab your towel to clean up what you can from the mess on the mattress.

“Oh shit, do you think somebody heard us?” He looks around, thanking all heavens that the small room doesn’t have any windows or cameras, at least that he can spot.

“We weren’t interrupted, were we?” You shrug with a grin. “Besides, it’s not like our noises were much different from someone exercising really hard.”

You both laugh but then he walks to you, hand gentling resting against your cheek before he leans for a kiss. This time his lips move slower, he doesn’t rush as you already got the lust out of the way. It should feel good, and it does, but you can’t help but freeze on the spot, panicking inside.

“I gotta go.” You grab your things and rush to the door right after he steps back.

“Wait! Did I do something wrong?” He calls but you’re already out of the room.

Quickly he grabs his stuff and tries to chase you but you’re nowhere to be found. He tries calling but you don’t pick up. He texts but there’s no reply. Jaehyun’s confused, he thought you wanted this, he thought you liked him. But if you did, why did you run away?

It was hard not answering his calls or texts but it just got too real too fast. Yes, there was physical attraction between you two and he is a fun guy to be around. But that last kiss just felt like too much, like there were feelings behind it and that’s something you just can’t deal with.

You decide not to go to the gym the rest of the week to avoid him. Childish behaviour? Yes. But it beats having to deal with possible feelings.

Friday night arrives and you decide to go out, have some fun and forget about all this mess. You meet up with some friends but once you get to the club everybody casually spreads out, some looking to pull, some just finding a spot on the dance floor. As for you, the bar is your first destination, greeting the bartender and ordering your usual drink.

“Guess faith is stronger than your will to avoid me.”

Looking to the side you see Jaehyun. Up until now you’d only seen him in his gym clothes, but you gotta admit the red dress shirt and black pants suit him like a glove. But you push the lust to the side and grab your drink about to disappear into the crowd.

“Wait.” He grabs your arm making you look back. “We need to talk.”

“About what?” You step back, taking his hand off of you.

“I think you know.” You sigh, realising there’s no point running away. “We were hitting it off so well, why did you run away?”

“Look,” you stop his hand from reaching your arm again, this time to caress it, “I don’t want you to get the wrong idea about us.”

“And what idea is that?” He raises a brow.

“I don’t do relationships, Jaehyun. Yes, I had a good time with you but that’s it. If you’re looking for more than that, I’m not your girl.” You turn back around about to go your way again.

“Who said anything about a relationship?” His words stop you. “I had a good time too. And I think it would be a waste to just throw away all this chemistry.”

You remain in place, thinking about what he said, se he walks over to you.

“We can just keep it casual, you know?” His breath against your ear as his hands make their way to your hips, brings a smile to your face. “Just physical, not feelings.”

“You can buy me another drink first.” You push him away and turn around. “Then we’ll see.”

It doesn’t take a psychic to guess how the night ended. Bodies entangled, rolling around on his sheets. Luckily he had a drawer full of condoms so you didn’t have to play the dangerous pull out game again.

The next morning, Jaehyun wakes up alone as you sneaked out when he instantly feel asleep after your new work out plan. For a second he thinks you might’ve have regret the agreement but your texts are back making him chuckle as he goes in the bathroom to take a shower.

You didn’t take any more chances at the gym, saving the place to actually work out, but you start meeting casually when needing to blow off some steam, or if you were just in the mood. You never discussed being with other people in the mean time, but if you got what you needed from him, why would you go through the process of picking up someone new?

You just had one rule: no sleeping over. Wether he went to your place, or you went to his, nobody sleeps the night at the other’s bed. That’s your one requirement to avoid feelings. And so far it seemed to be working. Months have passed and your friends with benefits agreement feels like one of the best decisions you’ve ever made.

Until one day he decides to say the forbidden words.

“Why don’t you stay?” You ignore his words and pick up your clothes to get re-dressed, but he insists. “C’mon, it’s late and I know I wore you out tonight.”

“Jaehyun stop.” You don’t have to look back to know the proud look on his face from his performance tonight.

“I don’t get why you insist on leaving right after we have sex.” He sits on the bed, back against the headboard, not even bothering to cover his still naked body. “You make me feel so used.”

“Oh, poor thing.” You go along with his joke at first but then decide to clear up the boundaries. “I told you why.”

“‘Sleeping together leads to waking up together which leads to feelings, blah, blah, blah’, I know, I know.” He mocks your voice and groans, “I just can’t understand why you’re so scared to catch feelings.”

“I’m not scared,” you roll your eyes, “I’m just-”

“‘Not that type of girl’, right…” He sprawls across the bed, getting annoyed with the conversation.

“If you know all of that, why are we discussing it?” You check yourself in the mirror, adjusting your hair.

“Because I feel like you’re softening up.” He casually replies.

“What?” You turn around with furrowed brows.

“Don’t think I haven’t noticed.” His tone is cocky, “The texts we exchange, the way you kiss me and touch me lately… I know you’re getting smitten.”

“Goodnight, Jaehyun.” You grab your jacket and purse and get out the door.

When you get home you can’t stop thinking about what he said. You grab your phone and open your conversation with him. You cringe a little bit at how… Cute you started talking over all the usual teasing. Could you really be getting smitten?

Locking your phone, you lay on your back as you stare into the celling. Maybe you have been a little more kissy and touchy lately. Ugh, did you catch feelings and didn’t even realize? Your mind is a mess and your heart is beating like crazy. Is this what having feelings feel like? I do people live like this?

The next time you meet up at your place, no one talks about the conversation that has been on repeat inside your head, not that there’s much talking at all. But when he’s getting ready to go, you can’t stop yourself.

“I’ve been thinking about what you said.” You pull the sheets over your tired bare body.

“About what?” He continues getting dressed.

“About me being scared of my feelings and all that…” He stops with his t-shirt half way through his arm and turns to you with a surprised expression. “Maybe… Just maybe! I could give it a try…”

“Wait.” He walks to the bed and sits on the edge. “Do you mean, give us a try?”

“I guess…” You try to hold in your smile as his grows big. “But you should know I have no idea how to do this.”

“Oh, don’t worry, we’ll make It work.” Crawling over the bed, he heads straight to your lips before you stop him with a hand on his chest.

“Not so fast, I wanna do this properly.” You got him groaning at your barrier.

“What do you mean?” He leans back again.

“I believe we should go on a date first.” You propose.

“A date? Aren’t we a little pass that?” He chuckles taking a peek inside the sheets and earning himself a slap on his hand.

“Jaehyun, I never did this before so I wanna do it right.” You insist.

“OK, ok, you win.” Getting up, he continues getting dressed. “Where should we go then?”

“Don’t worry about it.” You wink making him shake his head with a smile. “How does Saturday at 7pm sounds?”

“Sounds like it’s gonna be fun!” He excitedly replies as he heads out.

“Goodnight, Jaehyun.”

When the front door closes you roll around the bed, giggling like a teenager. This feelings thing is so weird, but you gotta admit it feels kind of nice.

Saturday comes and he’s finishing getting ready when the doorbell rings. You had texted him you’d pick him up so a smile grows on his face. The first thing he sees is a huge bouquet making his eyes go wide.

“Hi.” Your head pops up from behind it with a grin.

“What is this?” He chuckles taking the flowers.

“Well, I read online it’s usual to bring flowers on date.” You shrug.

“I’m pretty sure it’s usually the guy doing this part…” He raises an eyebrow. “But I’ll take it. Let me put these in some water and we can go.”

You awkwardly wait by the door but he is quick to come back. The date is a classic one: dinner and a movie, simple but effective. You didn’t want to go overboard with it in case it went wrong, but of course it doesn’t, you already know each other so well and have so much chemistry that it had everything to go right. The conversation flows, you laugh and get to know each other even more. At the end of the day it was a very successful date.

When you drop him back at his place, you walk him to the door, laughing about a funny scene in the movie you watched.

“Here you are, safe and sound.” You smile, pleased with the outcome.

“I am.” He chuckles. ”I had a really great time.”

“Not bad for a first date, huh?” You nudge his arm.

“Not bad at all.” With that he starts to lean forward expecting a kiss but you stop him.

“You’re supposed to wait til the third date to kiss.” You whisper against his lips that are so close from yours.

“Says who?” He whispers back, not moving an inch.

“The internet.” There’s a pause and then you two start laughing. “I told you I want to do this right, I don’t want you to think I’m easy.”

“Ok, we’ll do it your way.” He finally steps back with a sigh and plays along. “Will you call me then?”

“I will.” You nod. “Goodnight, Jaehyun.”

The rest of the weekend he stays by the phone but no call, not even a text. Why are you so confusing and give him mixed feelings? He thought everything went well but now you just go silent. On Monday afternoon he sees you entering the gym and catches you right before you get into the locker room.

“Oh hey, I didn’t see you!” Your smile looks so genuine that makes his head a mess.

“Don’t tell me you’re avoiding me again.” He puts on the cutest pout.

“What?” You tilt your head. “Why would I be avoiding you?”

“Right?” You grow more confused. “You said you’d call. And then you didn’t…”

“Oh that?” You chuckle. “I read you’re supposed to wait two days to call back. I was gonna do it tonight.”

“Are you serious?” He lets out a relieved breath. “Does everything really have to be under these ‘rules’?”

“I told you I don’t know how to do it, so yes.” You explain, giving no room for him to refute any further. “Now let me go get ready, otherwise I won’t get any exercise done today.”

Jaehyun stands there looking dumbfounded as you go change. You’re so unique and peculiar, but that just makes him like you even more. One thing he doesn’t really like is that because you finally decided to accept your feelings and go on all these dates, he’s getting none so he’s growing horny and needy.

You keep going on dates and, as promised, at the end of the third one, before you say your goodbyes, you pull him in for a kiss. He takes as much as he can from the moment, not ever wanting to let go, but you eventually push him back and leave.

By the end of the fifth date you accept to come inside his apartment for one last drink before you go. You get comfortable on his couch as he prepares some light drinks and then joins you. The conversation continues like an extension of the date, with him scooting closer and closer until his mouth joins yours.

The glasses are placed on the coffee table as the kiss intensifies and you find yourself moving to his lap. His hands grip on your hips, slightly moving them back and forward to create some friction. But as you start feeling something growing under you, you quickly get up and adjust your clothes.

“Maybe we should call it a night now.” You clear your throat.

“Why?” Frustrated, he runs a hand through his hair before rolling his eyes. “Is these because of those ‘rules’?”

“Well, I read guys like to do it on the fifth date but girls prefer to wait until around date nine, so maybe we should go on a few more…” You bite your lip realising how silly these dating rules sound.

“Oh yeah?” Suddenly he gets up and takes off his shirt. “You really want to date four more dates?”

Gulping, you watch his toned torso that you know so well and miss so much. You also notice the bulge in his pants making your insides burn. In your head you start debating if you still want to do this ‘right’ or give into the pleasure.

“So?” He steps closer, voice dropping low.

“Fuck it.”

Closing the distance you instantly jump on him, legs wrapping around his waist as your arms support you on his shoulders. Good thing he works out hard and catches you like it’s nothing, resuming the kiss he wished you’d never stopped.

He carries you into the bedroom and lays you in bed. Your clothes slowly come off, the naked spots getting covered with Jaehyun’s gentle kisses. When you’re fully bare, he takes a spot between your legs, face inches away from your pussy as he blows some hair on it.

Biting your lip, you squirm on the mattress, desperate for more, but his strong hands hold your tights apart before his tongue travels between your juices folds to focus on the center of your nerves, drawing the most intricate designs and driving you crazy.

Soon his fingers join the party, slowly entering you and curling just the right way to massage that special spot. By now you’re not able to hold it in anymore and let the moans escape your lips. All those dates were fun but damn you missed how he makes you feel in bed.

You try to tell him to just fuck you already, even if it gets lost in your sinful sounds, but he seems to be focused in getting an orgasm out of you before making your wish come true. When your body shakes in pleasure he makes sure to lick all your juice before his lips make their way up so you too can taste yourself.

Then he leans back on his knees, taking his time to unbutton his pants, but now you’re impatient so you replace his hands removing the remaining clothes off his body. His jaw drops in a silent moan when you wrap your fingers around his cock, pumping it up and down.

Letting a drop of saliva fall into the tip, you smear it on the head before you start sucking on it with your hand still moving on the length. Gradually you move your mouth lower until you have all of him inside. You start bobbing your head at a nice pace, feeling him grow more if that’s even possible.

Jaehyun messily grabs your hair out of your way, biting his lip as he attentively watches his dick disappear between your lips. His precum mixes with your own taste in your mouth giving you a nasty yet delicious flavour.

You wanted to go all the way and have him explode in your mouth but he’s the one needy and desperate right now. Gently he pushes you back in in the mattress and reaches for a condom on his night stand. He rolls the rubber down his length before aligning himself in your entrance and slowly pushing in.

Pressing your tights to your torso, his hips start moving as your nails dig onto his back for support. His pace and stamina is like no other, but today it feel different. He’s still hitting all the right spots inside you but this time it feels more passionate and caring, even if he’s fucking your brains out.

After a messy kiss, he leans back, lifting one of your feet to rest on his shoulder, slightly changing the angle and making you moan louder. He joins the melody of pleasure in the room, moving faster and deeper as his orgasm builds up. You look up through half lidded eyes and smile spleeplish at that signature expression you adore, the one he makes when lifting weights as he to control his muscles.

He knows he won’t last must longer, and neither will you for your second high of the night, so he moves your leg to join the other one, positioning you on your side, and lays behind you. He wants to feel close to you when he cums so he wraps his arm around your waist, gluing his rock hard torso to your back.

To make sure you get your orgasm before him, he slips your upper leg over his hip, allowing him to hit deeper inside you as his hand moves to your clit. The circular movements of his digits along with the pace of his dick sliding in and out of you are enough to push you over the edge and you coat him in your juices.

Soon, he too is filling up the condom, his moans so close to your ear, almost making you cum again. You stay there for a few minutes, in each others arms, his cock getting soft inside you, until it starts to feel a bit nasty, in a bad way and you separate to clean up.

Back in bed, for the first time you cuddle. It’s such a simple thing but so emotionally powerful that makes you think you’ve done the right thing in letting him in. Letting your feelings in. Your head feels so right laying on his chest, it annoys you much you enjoy listening to his heartbeat as his chest heaves with his steady breathing.

“Alright, time to go.” He taps your shoulder.

“Go where?” You look at him confused.

“Home, silly.” He bops the end of your nose.

You feel like a rock was dropped to your stomach. He wants you to go home. Like you did all those other times. You thought that with dating and accepting your feeling things would be different and it would be good to spend the night, but maybe he thinks differently.

“We already had sex so there’s no point you staying right?” He continues with the most natural smile in his face.

“R-Right…” Still confused, you slowly get up but then get yanked back into his arms.

“I can’t believe you fell for that.” He laughs. “I was just kidding.”

“You idiot!” You hit his chest annoyed at how you realise this is probably what he felt all those times before.

“Shut up, you love me.” As Jaehyun cages you in his embrace you have no choice but to give in.

“Maybe I do.”

☽ ・・・・・ ☾

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riding stoner!hyuck while hes high is close to magical. he's defo the type to get severely horny when he's high and it shows when he has you bouncing on his cock, his right hand occupied by the blunt the two of you had been sharing while his left hand rested on your hip. Being high always heightened his senses so the feeling of your tight walls wrapped around his cock was making more whiny than he'd like to verbally admit.

"Baby fuck you're so tight, feel so perfect for me. you look so good right now. you are so pretty" He's babbling nonstop, bringing the blunt up to his lips, inhaling the smoke before pulling you down by your neck gently and exhaling the smoke between your lips before pressing his lips onto yours softly.

Haechan was so close but he needed it faster. He put the joint in between your lips before placing both his hands on your hips and fucking up into you hard. So fucking hard that you almost dropped the blunt from your lips onto the bed. Quickly saving it by bringing your hand to your mouth to support the blunt between your lips and inhaling "Hyuck fuck! I'm gonna cum so fucking hard, I love your cock so much" You whined, smoke escaping your pretty mouth with every word.

“Jeno~ Jeno, please. Come on,” you whined, your thighs trembling and threatening to close around your boyfriend lying between them on his stomach, “Please. Just the tip. I want it, please.” “It won’t fit, baby,” he tried to soothe you, pressing a kiss to your clit that made you jerk away from him, the little bundle of nerves overly sensitive from how long he had already played with you.  “It will. Please, I want it so bad,” you all but cried, throwing your head back in frustration. “I don’t want to hurt you, angel. You know what happened last time when we tried.”

Objectively you still knew how much it had hurt and remembered really well that no matter how much lube you had used or how many praises Jeno had whispered at you, it simply would not fit. But subjectively you just really, really needed his stupidly big cock inside you right now and not some stupid plastic toy. “Need it,” you hiccuped, burying your hands in his dark hair to tug at the soft strands to get your desperation across to your stubborn boyfriend, “Need you to be inside of me so fucking bad.” “Fuck, baby,” Jeno cursed, fucking the dark blue toy faster inside you, twisting his wrist so it would drive exactly into the bundle of nerves that made you see stars and moan his name out loud. “Wish it was my cock making you moan like that,” he sighed, busying his lips with messily sucking your clit between them, the taste of the cherry-flavored lube strong on his tongue and the slick sound the dildo was making loud in his ears. “Please give it to me, fuck, Jeno,” you stuttered, the grip in his hair tightening as you felt the knot in your stomach winding tighter and tighter, “Wanna cum on your cock. I wanna feel it inside me so badly. Please. Please give it to me.”

In lieu of an answer, your boyfriend simply fucked the toy inside you as far as he was able to, the flared base sitting snug against your core. The sudden feeling of such utter and complete fullness had your nerve endings set alight, frying your brain as you threw your head back with a loud cry of pleasure as your legs shook around Jeno’s frame. He on the other hand couldn’t take his eyes off of you, drinking in the sight of complete bliss on your beautiful features as he firmly held onto the base of the dildo to keep it in place. If he got to see you in such ecstasy over the pleasure he was able to make you feel with the plastic toy, he didn’t even mind that he wasn’t able to make you feel that with his cock instead which only throbbed painfully at the mere thought of eventually being wrapped up in your tight heat. Biting his tongue to keep a row of profanities from slipping, Jeno slowly kissed his way up your body instead, keeping his lips pressed to your skin to worship every centimeter he was passing. “Hmmm, how does that feel, baby?” Jeno rasped into your ear before he gently bit into the shell, his strong body radiating heat where he had you caged against the mattress. “So full. Feel so full,” you blabbered breathlessly as if you were able to feel the dildo up in your throat. “That already makes you feel full, princess?” Jeno went on, raking his teeth down your pulse and over the bruises he couldn’t stop himself from sucking onto your skin before, leaving goosebumps in his wake that had you shiver. To emphasize his words, he barely pushed and pulled the toy inside you, grinding it as deep inside you as it would go. “So full,” you sobbed, a single tear rolling down your cheek when he lowered his body down onto yours, letting you feel the full length of his cock as he gently rutted against you. “You’re not ready for it yet,” he whispered, his voice sounding more strained than before as he stained the skin of your stomach with his precum. Jeno’s self-control was only so strong and having you trembling and moaning beneath him took its toll on him to the point where he just had to take some of the edge off or he swore he’d just explode. “But I want it.” “I know you do, baby. I know you just want to be fucked stupid on my big cock.” “Jeno, please,” you whined, trying to convince him by wrapping your legs around him, completely forgetting that that would dislodge the dildo still inside you so it easily slipped back out, staining the towel laid out beneath you even more. 

“Oh baby,” Jeno only chuckled darkly when colorful curses and moans fell past your lips, your core clenching around nothing and begging him to fill it up with his fingers or his cock. “Want it,” you pouted, reaching between your bodies to wrap a hand around his cock, jerking it slowly even if you couldn’t fully close your fist around him, “And I know you want it too.” “And I will fuck you when you’re ready for it,” he groaned when you guided the tip of his cock to your dripping core, teasing yourself and him alike. And god, how badly he simply wanted to thrust his hips forward right now to bury himself in your tight heat. But seeing you cry over his cock not out of pleasure but out of pain once was already one time too often in his book and he never wanted to make you cry like that ever again. Not if he could help it. “But I want it now,” you argued, pressing your hips up against him, the pressure against your entrance already feeling better than what any toy ever had. “It won’t fit like this,” he gritted out between his teeth, his eyes screwed shut and teeth digging into his lower lip, the pain keeping him grounded so he wouldn’t simply give in and just shove his cock inside you. “Just the tip,” you purred, slapping the fat head of his cock against your wetness. “I’ll hurt you, stop it.” “It’s not that much bigger than the toy.” “Oh?” That comment had Jeno snap his eyes open, a mischievous sparkle in them, “It’s not?” 

“Jen- wha-“ “Shhh,” he shushed you when he leaned back, quickly grabbing something from your bedside table as well as from the box you stored all your toys in. “Listen closely, darling,” Jeno rasped, sitting back on his haunches, “This,” he grabbed the dildo he had just fucked you with, still glistening with your essence and the lube alike, and aligned it with your body, “Is how deep that just went.” To emphasize, he unscrewed the lipstick he must have grabbed from the nightstand and drew a line on your lower stomach. “And this,” he grinned as he lined up his cock right next to the mark, “This is the real deal.” Shit. The mark he drew on reached just past your belly button. “And now, I’ll fuck you with this until you scream for me,” Jeno spoke lowly, showing you the pink dildo he had grabbed from the box which was somewhere between the other toy and his cock in terms of length and thickness. Bigger than anything he had fucked you with before and it made your heartbeat pick up because it meant that you were one step closer to having his cock actually inside you. 

“Give it some more time and you’ll get my cock to stretch you open like that,” he promised darkly, intently watching your face for any sign of discomfort as he slowly fucked the new toy inside you, imagining how your face would screw up when it was finally his cock stretching you open. “So big,” you groaned, harshly gripping onto his biceps. “We can always go back to the smaller one,” Jeno immediately tried to soothe you, pressing sweet kisses on your cheeks. After all, his number one priority was to make you feel good and if he’d have to wait a little longer before your body was able to accept him, he was okay with that. “No. No, I want this one,” you immediately argued, taking a deep breath to get rid of the tension in your body, knowing that it didn’t help with the stretch. “Such a good girl for me,” your boyfriend started to shower you in praise, slowly moving the toy to get you used to the size while kissing down your body again, paying extra attention to your sensitive areas.