How to Say "I love you": A useful guide step by step
By Oswald Cobblepot and Edward Nygma
            (you can read it on AO3 if you want)
Prologue
So, friend, here you are.
Do you believe in fate? Probably, if you are already reading this.
Let me tell you something before entering into subject:
Sometimes destiny finds unexpected and interesting ways to put on your path, some of the most important persons in your life. Maybe you won't notice at the beginning, but don't worry, you'll find out sooner or later, believe me. Then, the real journey will begin.
There are no guarantee of having just fun along the way, but is why this guide exist now, to give you a bit help with what you are searching for. Hope you find it useful.
I feel you may be a bit eager, don't you? ok, let's start then.
Introduction. First meetings: The best way to get your crush's attention.
Ft. Season 1 (Episodes 6 and 15)
"Doesn't matter how akward you think you are, there always be that one person who'll match their weirdness with yours"
1. "Dress to impress!". Always be ready to do a dramatic display in public (specially if you are in front of authorities or better, at an entire police station, claiming you are still alive)... you'll never know who could catch an eye on you.
2. Take note when someone is able to impress you with their dramatic public display at your work. Remember if he says his full name with a reverence (because it could sound quite foreing but elegant, maybe with a middle name on it). Will be time to do some research... just in case you'll see him again.
3. About time! If you are lucky enough and see him again at your work, don't waste time, go to have some words with him before someone else interrupt you.*
*You'll also maybe see that he in fact has noticed your presence from the distance. Good, bonus points! (for better results, stare at him until he turns his sight at you. Don't worry, that's not akward at all).
4. You can consider a success if you manage to, in fact, catch someone's attention after your last public show in the same place you are again. Nice, but before you come to any conclusion, check his intentions in case he gets nearer to you.* Stay calm and wait.
*Remember what i say at the beginning? About destiny? Well, if you don't realize immediately about the signs, no need to worry, maybe you are just distracted looking for someone else (a nice detective, for example) that you believe is the right one or something like that... I'm just guessing here.
5. Walk casual but keep an eye on the other. Choose a neutral spot to stop, that will help to fade any tension that could have been started to grow, until you two can meet.
6. You are finally in neutral territory. Good. Time to the next move: talk to him. Doesn't matter who starts the conversation, it could easily go from something like "Can i help you?"* to an amusing and creative riddle, is on you what you prefer to use to break the ice. In any case, just remember: stay true to yourself.
*Don't forget to make it sound like if you were annoyed, but still polite, you are a gentleman after all.
7. If everything goes like planned, at this point you'll have managed to have a conversation with him. Don't worry if is just for a few minutes or if you feel like he doesn't really want to talk to you or having you "standing too close" to him, is your first meeting after all.
Consider this: you've achieved to talk to him and you could look at him closer, to take note on those lil details, like hairstyle, height, clothes, color of eyes... or something particular, like freckles or a very singular nose (just an example).
8. Sometimes could happen that you doesn't really feel in the mood to have a long conversation with new people. Though, you already gave him a chance to talk. Just in case, asure to remain like the gentleman you are, by kindly saying goodbye and asking him to continue their way, so you can focus on your respective business again, but try to remember him and how he looks (clothes, height, hair... Maybe he wears glasses, who knows?), just in case you see him around again.
9. Congratulations friend! your first meeting should be considered now as a complete success. Take a deep sigh and some rest, to be ready for the next part.
See you at chapter 1.
A/N: Hi! This is something i wrote just for fun, to celebrate that Nygmobblepot is back, renewed and well. I'm really happy for this gift Gotham gave to us, the shippers/fans (seriously, the 15 episode of this fourth season will stay in our hearts forever). The writters finally decided to stop this pain they put all us through (including Ozzy and Ed of course) for a very long time, so at this point i feel i can safetly take memory of the best moments the ship/OTP had along the way, and put some humor on it (i bet you'll recognize who was the respective author of each point/step along this guide).
I hope you like it and forgive if there are any grammar mistakes, i'm not used to write fiction in english (not my first language)... Also forgive the sillyness this work can contain, as i said, is just fun covered with endless feels for these two and their complex relationship.
Thanks a lot!
