#negative-

Experiencing intense sadness like is it summer depression is it my period just finishing is it my shitty ass work schedule meaning I dont have anything to look forward to for a month is it the political climate is it burnout is it-

The worst part about getting set off into a mini breakdown is knowing that thr thing that pushed you over the edge isn't actually the problem, it's just the last rock on a pile that you've been ignoring piling up inside you, but because your brain doesn't want to deal with the pile it hyperfocuses on the thing that's not the real problem and tries to come up with reasons to be mad at the trigger instead of the underlying causes

Throwback to that "specialist" I saw for months trying to get an official ASD diagnosis who gave me trick questions (when I answered her questions about my gender, she said I was too well spoken) and eventually decided there's no way I could be autistic bc, and I'm NOT exaggerating here, I have an imagination and friends that I care about.