I want to be loved.
Maybe this is a weak statement
But I can't help it.
I have never been touched.
Desired for my soul.
No one wanted me
But then again
I could never love myself.
For all my ego
For all my worship at the alter of myself
I still could not understand
How someone could want me.
I was a lie
And didn't even know it.
A lost little child
So repressed
I couldn't even see my own reflection.
Now I am trying to get back to me;
The honest self
Free from every last goddamn thing.
Just me
That little girl
Who never had a chance
To dress up pretty
Or just be herself.
I want more than what I have been given;
More than what I have allowed myself.
A long road walk
But I am here when it is done.
So I leave
And breathe
Put on make-up and get dressed up.
Make my day to day worth living
And in so doing
Figure out
What life's about.
So love me
Hate me
Fuck me
Ignore me.
I can't make sense of anything;
I'm making it all up
As I go.
Exist
As I want to exist.
All we have are ourselves.
Are you really going to listen to me?
